


All That Remains

by Pawprinter



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Background Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone Is Alive, Falling In Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Alex, M/M, Minor Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, On the Run, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pilot Willie, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, no knowledge of star wars needed!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 90,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28308627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pawprinter/pseuds/Pawprinter
Summary: Alexdoesn’t know how he survived.All he knows is that the burning wreckage of the Jedi Temple is behind him, everything he’s ever known is gone, and he is all that remains of the Jedi Order.With the Republic falling around him, Alex is determined to complete his Jedi Master’s final mission.He just needs to get off Coruscant first.Willieneeds to get off Coruscant.If he doesn’t, he will lose his ship and be stuck with Covington until spaceports reopen. Leaving is his only option. And if he runs into someone willing to help him, who is he to say no?They’re practically strangers, but they will need to stick together to have any hope of surviving in this new galaxy.And, really, hope is all that remains.a Willex Star Wars AU(& you don't need to know anything about Star Wars to read!)
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 687
Kudos: 479





	1. CHAPTER I: CORUSCANT

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thesunwillshineclear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunwillshineclear/gifts).



> **A few opening notes!**
> 
> ****
>   * This is a Star Wars AU, but **no knowledge of the Star Wars universe is required.** This fic is written in a way where people who aren't familiar with the universe can understand what is going on. Basic understanding of the universe is always a plus though! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments, and I'll happily explain.
>   * Speaking of Star Wars... I am not super knowledgable about the lore of this universe, so please keep that in mind when reading. There's a chance that I've made mistakes with the concepts from the universe. I've tried my best with research and re-watching the movies, but please take this as my apology for the mistakes!
>   * **Warnings.** I put specific warnings in the beginning notes of each chapter. General warnings for the fic include canon-typical violence (canon-typical to Star Wars, that is) and coarse language. Grief, mourning, and death are also topics in future chapters.
> 

> 
> **Canon context (spoilers for Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith):** this fic is set at the very end of Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. Order 66 just occurred - an event where the Republic troopers (also referred to as clones) killed all Jedi Order members. We pick up approximately 10-30 minutes after Order 66 happened. As Alex is all alone (and he presumes is the only one to escape Order 66), nobody in the public knows what has happened. 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** the title of this fic comes from a quote said by Kanan Jarrus in season 1, episode 10 of Star Wars: Rebels.
> 
> Thank you to Lai (@trustbeIlamy on Twitter) for helping me with this fic so much! Truly, this fic would not exist without her; she pre-read these first few chapters, shared her brilliant ideas and thoughts on the plot of the fic, and stopped me when I was convinced I needed to delete the whole thing and start from the beginning again. You're a gem!
> 
> And, finally, Merry Christmas to one of my best fandom friends - Ryn (@thesunwillart on Tumblr)! Surprise!!! I got you in the JATP Secret Santa and immediately I knew I had to write you a Star Wars AU. Thank you for encouraging me to watch Rebels and thank you for letting me scream vaguely about this fic in the DMs. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Alexander had always been good at running.

It was a skill that the Jedi Masters had tried to extinguish many times.  _ Hold your ground. Fight until the tides turn. Do not concede early. Stand tall. _

Those were the words echoing through his mind as he raced through the crowded streets of Coruscant, his breathing laboured and his thoughts swirling. 

Maybe it was a gift that he couldn’t stop hearing his Masters’ voices as he pushed through the crowds, hood drawn around his face and hand against his ribs. He’d rather hear their old lessons and tired words than whatever the hell he just heard.

_ Screaming. _

Alexander let out a sharp gasp as someone’s shoulder collided with his, jarring his body. Pain erupted from his side. The anguished screaming — the terror of the yells — the echo of a blaster; those were all sounds that came alongside the pain.

_ Run. Run. Run. _

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!”

He didn’t waste another second. He pulled his robe tighter around his body and kept moving, using the movement of the crowd to hide. 

He couldn’t be spotted. 

_ Not now.  _

Not when he already got so far. 

Not when he was so close to the spaceport.

If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed this night wasn’t out of the ordinary. The paths were thick with beings, all chattering and moving together. 

_ All so innocent. All so oblivious.  _

Vendors were out along the sides of the tall buildings, each calling to those passing by in hopes of making a sale. The tightness of it all made him feel like he was suffocating — or was that because he couldn’t breathe past the lump in his throat and panic in his chest? The air was pungent with the scent of food and  _ warmth  _ and—

Warmth.

Alexander swallowed thickly and glanced down at his side. His hands were warm from where they clutched at his torso, trying to keep pressure on his injury as much as possible. Maybe he should’ve been more concerned that he couldn’t feel pain unless he was thinking about it. Maybe he should’ve been more concerned that he couldn’t feel his hands at all. Maybe he should’ve been more concerned that the whole galaxy was ending and couldn’t do anything about it but—

Numb. He was numb.

Adrenaline rushes like this one would often wipe away the senses, narrowing down the world to two simple options.

_ Fight or flight. _

Flight. He chose flight. There wasn’t another option back at the Temple, not really, and it was the same story now that he was alone and on the streets of Coruscant.

Keep moving. Keep running. Keep to the shadows.

Needing to catch his breath, Alexander ducked into a tiny alcove right behind a vendor trying to sell what looked like street dogs. Leaning on the building behind him was nearly unbearable due to the steam hissing out between pipes. Sweat beaded on his forehead and trickled down his neck and—

His eyes found the sky. He sucked in breath after breath.

This was real.

_ This was real. _

It was hard to believe it after what he just witnessed, but was it ever a possibility that this was a nightmare? Was it ever really possible that his mind had come up with  _ this? _

This; the Jedi Temple falling.

This;  _ all  _ of his friends, his family, his  _ people  _ dying.

This; someone he looked up to as a  _ brother  _ standing above Younglings, lightsaber raised and irises yellow and—

Alexander’s fingers brushed against the hilt of his own lightsaber on instinct. It was childish, thinking nothing bad could happen to him as long as he had his weapon — almost like a child hiding under a blanket during a storm, or a child clinging to their parents’ leg during a war.

Tonight was proof of just how childish it was. They all had their lightsabers — all the Padawans, all the Masters — and it didn’t help them.

They were all dead.

When the distinct sound of a comms device went off only feet away from him, Alexander flinched and pulled his hood tighter around his face, hoping with every fibre of his being that the shadows he stood in would be enough.

He held his breath as two Republic troops walked past him. Only hours ago, he would’ve trusted the clones with his life, but he had just witnessed them  _ turn  _ on the Jedi at the Temple. Now—

_ Now. _

Trust no one. It was what Jedi Master Harrison said as they barricaded the door to make their final stand. Even now, with this hissing of a pipe right in his ear and the streets humming with the thrum of an excited crowd, all he could hear were those words.

_ Those final words. _

_ “Alexander,”  _ she had told him,  _ “get out.”  _ And, when he tried to resist—  _ “One of us needs to survive — to carry on the Order, to tell the truth, to fight for the light. Get off-planet. Trust no one. You must tell the others the truth about Skywalker and the clones; you’re the only hope those off-planet have left.”  _

While those words had been chilling, they were nothing like the final five words she spoke before pushing him out the window.

_ “This is just the beginning.” _

It was a terrifying thought; that the beginning of this chaos was the Republic troops turning on the Force-sensitives in the Temple, and Master Skywalker being the beating heart of the wreckage, and the Jedi Order falling into pieces all around him. He could  _ feel  _ the bonds breaking in him as lights across the galaxy were snuffed out.

_ ‘This is just the beginning’  _ was terrifying, but it was true. What happened at the Jedi Temple was just one piece to this. Other Force-sensitives were being killed across the galaxy too, all at the same time.

_ There was so much pain. _

Alexander grit his teeth and pulled his thoughts away from it all. He’d have time for it later, but not now. No pain. No grief. No emotion.

_ Just survival. _

He needed to get off-planet.

Alexander glanced towards the bustling street again. He might be able to blend in with the crowd —  _ maybe.  _ He needed to keep out of sight of any Republic troops though. If what he just witnessed was any indication, then  _ none  _ of the troops were to be trusted.

A fragmented plan — if he could even call it that — formed. He didn’t have time to overthink (or really think at all); he just needed to  _ go. _

_ Go before it was too late. _

Instincts drove him forward.

He shoved his robe and tunic off of his shoulders and tossed it into the open hearth behind the street dog cart, leaving him standing in inconspicuous clothing. The lightsaber strapped to his hip was wrapped in a stolen hotdog wrapper and shoved under his shirt, concealed from prying eyes. And, the hardest part, the Padawan braid he had since he was a child, was cut at the nape of his neck and tossed into the flames. He tried not to think of his Master — his Master he left  _ behind,  _ but—

Another connection severed — one of only thousands across the galaxy tonight.

It was necessary though.

If the Republic troops were hunting Jedi, he needed to look very much  _ not  _ like a Jedi.

_ And then he was off. _

It was his years of training that helped him blend in. He’d done countless undercover missions — they were all the same.

_ Lay low. _

_ Blend with the crowd. _

_ Duck your head, don’t look up, don’t look like you have a purpose. _

That was the hardest part for him; looking as though he didn’t have a plan when all he wanted to do was sprint until his legs burned. He needed to constantly be vigilant and aware without looking like it. He had to be ready to dodge a blaster or leap into battle with his lightsaber drawn at any second, yet had to act as though he was simply out for a walk.

Each step he took felt  _ wrong.  _ His instincts were screaming at him to turn around, to run towards the Temple behind him, to go back and help those he left behind.  _ Children he watched grow up. People he considered friends. Masters that he looked up to.  _ He desperately wanted to scale the side of the Temple that he’d clamoured down only minutes before, jump back through the window that Master Harrison had urged him through, and  _ protect them. _

Wasn’t it selfish that he was running away? Wasn’t this the exact thing he was taught not to do?

Don’t be selfish. Don’t give in to emotions. Don’t run. Protect those who can’t protect themselves or go down trying.

_ “Get off-planet. Trust no one. You must tell the others the truth about Skywalker and the clones; you’re the only hope those off-planet have left.” _

It was his final mission from the Jedi Masters of the Temple. Despite feeling like running from the smoking Temple behind him, it was the  _ right thing to do.  _

It was the only thing he  _ could  _ do.

Alexander was drawn to the lower levels of Coruscant. He could’ve gone to any spaceport, really, but he knew this was his best chance to get out undetected. The number of ships coming on and off the planet from this port was high, and the number of untracked ships was even higher.

The crowd thinned as he moved. The shadows swallowed the streets. The quietness ate away at his soul, allowing his thoughts to grow louder and louder and louder—

Time was slipping through his fingers faster than sand. Any moment now, the news of what happened at the Temple would break, and chaos would wash across the streets, any remaining Jedi would be found, and  _ Force, his side was hurting. _

His side was hurting, and his  _ head was hurting,  _ and his  _ heart,  _ and his  _ chest,  _ and—

The spaceport came into view, providing the perfect distraction from reality. He took a quick survey of the dozens of empty ports a level below him, his chest tightening with each passing second.

It was empty.

Panic flared in his chest.

_ How could the port be completely empty?  _ This port was  _ always  _ buzzing with activity — most of it criminal, considering it was close to the market that was known for selling stolen items and organs, but  _ still. _

Never before had he seen a port like this. Each deck was bare. Even the central hub, where pilots who could afford to hire hands would wait, was empty. The thick layer of smoke and steam that clung to the levels of the port was missing. He never thought he’d miss the sting it brought to his eyes so much.

_ Shit.  _

He was screwed.

Alexander glanced behind him, in the direction of the next closest port. Coruscant Spaceport was the next closest, but it was also the  _ main  _ port of the planet. It would be filled with hundreds of Republic troops and people of high profile.

It was too dangerous.

Calculations were running in his mind, but he knew the unavoidable truth. No other port was close enough that he could get to by walking, and wandering the city with blast marks on his side and a lightsaber under his shirt was bound to get him killed.

Shit. Shit, shit, shi—

_ There. _

Alexander caught sight of one single ship on the port. He knew enough to recognize that it was damaged, but still flyable. Probably. Maybe.

_ Hopefully. _

It clearly was in the spaceport for some work; the exterior metal was banged up and dented in places, there were burn marks along the belly of the hull, there was a gash in the metal panelling along the back which exposed wires and the mechanical workings of the ship.

_ He didn’t hesitate.  _

He moved towards the port’s lift. There was a chance that the ship would be able to lift off the ground, and that was enough for him. 

The closer Alexander got to the ship, the more details he noticed. There was a faded white logo along the side. Instantly, he recognized the logo as a major transport company  _ RIMMA.  _ They ran the Rimma Trade Route and stuck to the planets along that passage; Coruscant was out of their way. It was strange.

Then again, Alexander had seen stranger things that night. A ship off-route was the least of his problems.

He stuck to the shadows while crossing the port, hoping with everything in him that he’d go unnoticed.

It was one of the few things that had gone right that day; not a single soul was around to notice him. It was as if everyone had all packed up and left at the same time.

A chill ran up Alexander’s spine and, for a brief moment, he forgot how to breathe.

_ The Temple would look like this, too.  _

Like nobody had ever stepped foot in it. 

Like it was devoid of life. 

Like it was abandoned.

There was something about abandoned places that Alexander hated; he always had. It was because of his experience with them from the missions he’d run over the years that he learned; empty buildings and silent hallways were  _ never  _ good signs.

He approached the Rimma Trading Company ship cautiously. His blood was rushing through his ears so quickly that it made the world grow quiet and distant. His gaze jumped from item to item — from shadow to shadow — desperate to make sure he was alone and safe and—

Seeing nobody, Alexander crossed the platform with quick and even steps.

He hadn’t flown this exact model before, but all light freighters were fairly straight forward. He’d just have to power her up, set course, take off, and hope for the best. Whoever owned this ship clearly had no idea what they were doing, if the damages across the body were any indication. It couldn’t be that hard, right?

_ Several things happened all at once.  _

A loud clang came from behind him, only moments before he was grabbed by the wrist and thrown head-first into the ship.

_ He should’ve seen it coming. _

Later, when his cheek wasn’t pressed against the cool metal of a semi-wrecked ship and sharp elbows weren’t digging into his back, he’d blame it on the fact that the adrenaline made him sloppy, or he’d blame it on the fact that there was a blaster wound in his side and the pain made the world a little fuzzy, or maybe he’d simply blame it on desperation.

Alexander didn’t really care though — not in that moment — not when the galaxy was falling to pieces around him and he was cornered by a pilot on a nearly empty spaceport.

“Get off me,” Alexander snapped, struggling against the pilot’s hold. He tried twisting around to see more of the person pinning him to the ship, but couldn’t see more than half of his face. 

He was human. Young for a pilot, too — he must’ve been around his age. He wore a singed jumper and a crooked helmet; it was clear that he was dressed for an imminent flight.

Relief flooded through him. 

_ At least he wasn’t a Republic troop. _

“Dude,” the pilot said, sounding offended, “you dented my ship.”

Alexander let out a choked sound. “I dented your—? You’re denting  _ me.”  _

He was half tempted to call the metal beam across the platform into his hands and push the pilot away, but— He couldn’t. He couldn’t give up his secrets so easily, not when there was so much at risk.

“Quiet,” the pilot hissed. The pressure on Alexander’s back lessened the slightest bit as he pulled back. “We’re not supposed to be out here right now. Do you  _ want  _ to get us killed?”

“What?” Alexander managed to get enough leverage to unhook the pilot’s hands from his back. He spun around, eyes wide and heart thundering. “What do you—”

The pilot lunged forward, clamping a hand over his mouth, effectively silencing him.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

The pilot was close enough now that Alexander could see all the details of his face. His hair hung past his shoulders, and there was a smear of oil across his forehead, and  _ he was beautiful.  _ His eyes were so vivid and expressive; without even knowing who the pilot truly was, he understood him without the need for words.

_ Be quiet. _

Alexander desperately tried to piece everything together; the empty spaceport, the jumpy pilot, the panicked gaze, but there wasn’t enough time—

“How’d you get down here?” the pilot hissed, his voice low. His gaze darted to either side of the ship, as if he was looking for someone. “Are you working for Covington?”

Alexander pushed the pilot’s hand off of his mouth. He grimaced and wiped the back of his sleeve across his lips. “That’s really gross, you know, you shouldn’t go around putting your hands on  _ strangers’ mouths  _ because—”

“Do you work for Covington or not? Yes or no?” The pilot grew exasperated. “At least tell me if I should be running or not.”

“From Covington?” Alexander asked. 

“Yes, Covington.”

“Who— what— no. No, I’m not working for him. Whoever he is.”

The pilot’s eyes narrowed the slightest bit. A beat passed. They stared at each other’s eyes. Alexander felt  _ cold  _ from how intense the pilot’s eyes were.

“Fine, you’re not with Caleb. That’s good.” He took a step backwards and glanced around the port again. “Tell me who you’re with then? Why are you here? Why are you trying to get onto my ship?”

“This is your ship?” Alexander asked, his palm connecting with the metal right behind him. His heart was in his throat and hope twisted his stomach. It was horrible and beautiful and— “I need it.”

The pilot’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “You  _ need  _ it?”

“I’ll pay you for it.” Alexander hated that he was lying to this pilot. He looked like he might be a nice guy. Maybe. Then again, he  _ did  _ slam him into the side of his ship, so maybe not. Alexander was never that great at getting a read on people. “I need your ship though, so…”

“You? You need my ship?” Alexander hated that the pilot looked amused by this thought. “You’re going to pilot this ship? You look a little young to be a pilot.” 

“Me?  _ Me?  _ What about  _ you,  _ flyboy.”

The pilot’s gaze swept across his body, his grin wide and amused, and— The grin disappeared instantly when his gaze came to rest on his torso. 

Alexander’s hand shot to his side and a wave of horror swept over him. He forgot just how obvious the blaster marks on his side looked without his cloak hiding it.

“Woah,” the pilot said. All evidence of their previous jokes disappeared, leaving behind pure concern. “Dude, you’re bleeding. I didn’t hit you  _ that  _ hard, did I?”

“I’ve had a rough day.” His grip tightened on his side. A jolt of pain burned through his body, sharp enough to refocus him. “It doesn’t matter. I need your ship—”

“Uh, yes, it does matter.” The pilot crouched to get a better look at his side. Alexander grit his teeth and tried to angle his body away from him. He didn’t have time to deal with this. He needed to— “You’re in shock. You shouldn’t be standing with an injury like this, never mind flying a ship. You need help, man.”

“What I  _ need  _ is your ship. Just—”

Before Alexander could finish his sentence, the pilot sprang into a standing position and clamped his hand over his mouth once more. He didn’t have to wonder why for long; seconds later, he heard shuffling and a set of footsteps up the platform.

Alexander shoved the pilot’s hand away from his mouth. “What did you say earlier? About not being allowed on the platform?”

“We’re not allowed on the platform.”

“Right. That’s what I thought.” 

They locked eyes. 

They both moved in sync as they raced towards the entry ramp of the ship. Terror made Alexander’s heart stop in his chest — but, really, what could happen that would be so horrible? What could be worse than the reality that he already lived through?

The pilot was at his back, pushing up through the ship’s halls. The walls were a soul-sucking grey, as were the floors and the ceiling. The room that opened up in front of them looked as though it was the living quarters of the ship, with clothing strewn about the room and other personal items lining the floor.

He didn’t have time to take it in. The pilot gave him a rough shove in the direction of a doorway partially covered by a strip of weathered cloth. 

“Go,” he hissed, “and stay quiet.”

Alexander didn’t have the energy to argue. His feet slid across the floor from the amount of momentum he had. A cloud of dust exploded when the curtain was shoved out of the way. Alexander’s hip connected with the shelf directly behind the curtain and he doubled over, trying his best to stifle the coughs and groans of pain.

His heart was beating out of his chest and his hands were already under the hem of his shirt, inching towards his lightsaber hilt— It was an instinct, and a poor one at that, considering he needed to keep his lightsaber away from prying eyes.

Instead, he focused on sucking in lungfuls of air, slow and steady, and remained quiet. It looked as though he was in the pantry for the ship; there were jars of canned food behind him, suspended in opaque liquids and strapped to the metal shelf for travel. The space was cramped and clearly  _ not  _ meant for hiding. 

It was only made worse when Alexander heard approaching voices — still too far away to make out exactly what they were saying. He hopped onto the protruding shelf and pulled his knees towards his chest, hoping that he was quick enough and nobody saw his feet beneath the curtain.

A few beats passed, then—

“What do you mean?  _ You _ owe  _ me!” _ That was the pilot talking; he recognized his voice easily.

“I  _ mean,  _ the port is shutting down within the hour.” Another jolt of panic went through him at the news. That would explain the empty port. “You’re going to have to find someone else—”

“I  _ heard  _ that, but… come on, man.” Two figures paused in the room just beyond the curtain Alexander was hiding behind. He blew out a shaking breath and traced the shadows along the cloth with his eyes. His fingers inched towards his lightsaber — just in case. “That part was mine and you just gave it away! That’s so not cool.”

“You know what’s cool?” the second voice asked, their tone turning icy.  _ “Credits.  _ Credits are  _ very  _ cool, and you’re short.”

The first voice let out a choked laugh. “I’m  _ short?  _ You asked for five-hundred, I gave you five-hundred—”

“Well, bad news. The price bumped up to  _ eight-hundred.” _

Alexander’s heart rate was settling back down to what was normal the longer he listened to the conversation. He could hardly call it a conversation; it sounded like the teenager was getting ripped off. 

Either way, they weren’t troopers coming for him. 

_ It wasn’t a threat. _

He pulled away from his ‘saber.

“That wasn’t really the deal, you know...”

“It’s called supply and demand, William.”

“That’s not—”

“Do you have eight-hundred or not?”

The pilot — William, as Alexander had come to find out — let out a huff of exasperation. “No, but—”

“Then the deal is off.”

“Fine! Fine. It’s fine. You don’t need to give me the part. That’s cool. But… If what you’re saying is true and the port is closing then I’d like my credits back. Please. The ones I gave for access to the port. I’m not keeping my ship here and—”

The man let out a sharp bark of laughter. “You’re not keeping your ship here? Without that part, you’re not able to jump into hyperspace. You aren’t leaving. You  _ need  _ to stay here — and you will be until the port reopens. Those fees are for use of the pads, which you will be using for the foreseeable future. In fact,  _ you _ owe  _ me _ credits for using my port to house your ship until Coruscant reopens.”

“You’re not serious, right?” William asked after a pause. “You’re not going to make me pay because the Senate decided to ground all ships? That’s not fair.”

“That’s life.” The owner of the port sounded too happy about this fact. “You might want to look into finding a way to get more credits, William. I’d hate for you to lose your ship because you can’t pay your fees. Then again, you can always come back to work for me, couldn’t you?”

There was a long pause.

Alexander desperately wanted to peer around the flap of the curtain to see exactly what was happening — so he could read the pilot’s expression — but he didn’t move an inch. His breathing turned shallow. His whole body felt frozen.

“Fine,” William said, his voice tight. “I’ll get you the credits, Caleb.”

“Tomorrow, right, William?”

Another pause.

“Yes,” he said. “I’ll have them in your office  _ first thing  _ tomorrow morning.”

“Good! I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding. I wouldn’t want to call the Republic troops on you, would I? That would be a sad waste of our planet’s resources, I’m sure.”

He didn’t realize  _ just how on the edge he was  _ until that moment. Just the  _ mention  _ of the troops, and he was sucked right back into that moment.

_ The screaming — distant, at first, and then louder. _

_ The sounds of the blasters echoing through the grand halls. _

_ The flare of panic across Master Harrison’s face when she realized exactly what was happening — it was the same panic that flared across his chest when he put the pieces together. _

_ The horror at seeing exactly what the troopers had done in the Temple — the way his stomach twisted and his heart turned to ice and— _

Alexander jolted when the curtain was ripped away, revealing the pilot from earlier, looking much more stressed than before.

“Alright, let’s get that wound bandaged,” he said as a greeting. He stepped to the side and gestured for Alexander to follow. When he didn’t immediately, he sent him a confused look. “Uh. Hello? You good?”

“The port is closing.”

It was the first thing to come to Alexander’s mind — the first thing that didn’t involve the deaths of all his friends and a pain like nothing else he’d ever experienced. 

William blinked at him. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is. You didn’t know?” Alexander shook his head. The pilot pursed his lips. “Weird… But, yeah, the Senate announced an emergency lockdown of the planet starting in—” He glanced towards what must’ve been a chrono. “—sixteen minutes.”

His thoughts were flying faster than he could truly process them.

This explained why the port was empty — it was shutting down because the Senate grounded all ships in Coruscant.

_ That  _ only made him more terrified.

If ports were closing, that meant he had less time than he originally thought. He needed to find a ship and get away before he was stuck on this planet with no way out and no hope.

_ He needed to go. _

It was almost impossible to speak past the lump growing in Alexander’s throat. The metal of the shelf was cool against his hands when he gripped it to steady himself. There was a chill in his bones that had nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that—

_ He was going to die. _

If he didn’t figure a way off this planet, he was going to die. 

Republic troops would find him and he’d suffer the same fate as the rest of the Jedi Order.

There was only one option now. There was only one way he was going to get off Coruscant.

“I need your ship.”

William laughed. It was gut-wrenching to hear something so bright when the galaxy felt so dark.

“Dude, you’re not taking my ship. I don’t know how much of that you heard, but I’m in pretty deep with Covington. If I don’t have my ship as a fail-safe for credits, I’m kinda screwed.” His expression fell. “I’m kinda screwed as it is anyway.”

Once again, Alexander would blame it on desperation. 

Desperation made people do reckless things and this —  _ this  _ — it was one of the most reckless decisions he had made in his short life.

“Come with me.”

He felt just as shocked as William looked.

William was staring at him with wide eyes, parted lips, slack jaw. Force, Alexander wasn’t sure if he was still  _ breathing.  _

Maybe it wasn’t a good decision to invite a stranger, but he needed a way off this planet, and this was the only choice. If the pilot wasn’t willing to part with his ship, then it looked like he had to come with him.

“Just… I know how that sounds. It sounds like bantha shit, I get it, but… You don’t have the credits to stay at this port and Coruscant is going into lockdown. If you don’t get out now, you’re stuck here for who knows how long. Right?  _ And  _ I need a ship to get off-planet. If we pilot this thing  _ together,  _ we can get off-planet before Coruscant shuts down — but it’ll only work if we’re both on controls.” Alexander struggled for a moment, unsure exactly how much information he wanted the pilot to know. “Plus, it’s an emergency, alright? Something horrible happened and it’ll be better for both of us to be as far away from here as possible.”

The pilot stared at him for a long moment, unmoving. Horrible thoughts entered Alexander’s mind, all swirling around the possibility of William saying no. If the pilot declined his request, he’d be out of luck and out of time.

He’d be stuck on this planet. 

He would be failing his Masters. 

_ He’d be failing everyone. _

William’s gaze finally left his, coming to rest on his aching side. Alexander had to fight the urge to shield himself from his gaze again; it was as though he could see into the deepest and darkest parts of his soul by a simple look and Alexander  _ hated  _ it.

He hated it because he needed to be  _ running  _ — he couldn’t afford for a stranger to know all his secrets.

“Something horrible happened,” William echoed, his gaze slowly dragging up to meet his again. “Does it have anything to do with why you’re walking around here with a blaster wound in your side?”

Alexander paused. He needed to keep the information he had guarded, but he needed  _ something  _ to convince William that this planet was dangerous.

“Yes,” he admitted. “Something happened and I was shot—”

“By some of our troops, by the looks of it.”

His jaw tightened. “Yes, it was by troopers—”

William blew out a long breath. “So, I just want to get things straight. You’re sneaking around the shadows of a spaceport. You look like you’re willing to dropkick anyone who breathes on you wrong. And you were shot by  _ Republic troops  _ and now you need off-planet because it’s an emergency. Am I following?”

The fire of hope burning in Alexander’s chest was quickly burning away.

“Look, I know I must look suspicious, but—”

“I’m in.”

Alexander blinked at the pilot owlishly.

“...Huh?”

That didn’t make sense. 

Nobody would agree to anything Alexander asked when he looked this suspicious. Nobody  _ should  _ agree to that, anyway. He should’ve been running in the other direction or, at the very least, he should’ve been asking more questions, but—

William stood there, looking utterly calm.

“I told you that I’m in. You need off-planet for… whatever reason. You’re  _ bleeding  _ — like, holy shit, dude, you’re bleeding. And, you weren’t wrong earlier. The best option for me is to get outta here too, before Covington comes knocking tomorrow to collect his credits. With both of us on controls, we’ll make it.” His eyes settled on him again. “You sure about this? You really want to leave?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then.” Alexander had been prepared to dodge questions, yet William had none. “Let’s get going.  _ Phantom _ isn’t in the best shape and we’re running short on time as it is. You know how to run the pre-flight checks?”

“Uh, yeah.”

William turned sharply and walked towards the hallway they rushed through earlier with purpose. Alexander watched him for a moment, bewildered at how  _ trusting  _ he was.

They both hurried to the cockpit and began to run pre-flight checks. William moved around the controls without hesitation and with an ease only an experienced pilot would have; Alexander had to take back what he thought about him earlier. Clearly, he knew what he was doing.

With minutes to spare, they launched from the spaceport. The hair on the back of his neck stood straight up from how quiet the port was as they began to lift-off. A chill wrapped around his body, burying into his bones and worming its way into his chest, yet he couldn’t blame it on anything other than the emptiness of the planet around them. 

It was when they were surrounded by the vastness of space, with the bright colours of Coruscant growing smaller behind them, that Alexander finally relaxed into his seat. He had no idea where he was going, he had no idea what he was going to do next, he had no idea what state the galaxy was going to be in whenever they landed next, but—

_ It was a step. _

William flopped back into his seat and turned to him in the co-pilot chair. He stuck his hand in Alexander’s direction and  _ Force  _ the joy in his smile made Alexander’s chest feel like it was caving in. 

“We skipped over the introductions and launched right into breaking out of Covington’s port. The name’s Willie.”

“Willie,” he repeated, testing the name on his lips. 

_ That fit him better than William did.  _

Alexander took his hand and hoped his fingers weren’t shaking as much now as they were earlier, when he was trying to climb off the roof of the Temple and—

“What’s your name?” Willie pressed. His eyes glinted. “Or is that top secret too?”

Alexander let out a breathless laugh. “No, it’s not.” 

He hesitated though because—

_ He was on the run now. _

It was something that hadn’t hit him yet. He knew he was on the run — of course he did, he had the jolts of pain to remind him of that — but he didn’t  _ know  _ it. He was still processing everything that had happened — the deaths of all his friends, the end of the Jedi Order, the turning of the Republic troops—

But he was on the run. Nobody could know the truth about him. Nobody could  _ know  _ him — not ever again, not if he wanted to complete this final mission, not if he wanted to be safe.

And so, Alexander lied.

It was a tiny lie, sure, but still… 

“I’m Alex,” he said.

_ Alex. _

Willie nodded. “Alex,” he repeated.

He had to admit, it sounded half-decent coming from Willie — not nearly as awkward as it did coming from his own mouth. 

“So,” Willie said. “Where to, Alex?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to finally share this fic!! It's going to be a fun ride. I'm not 100% sure about length right now, but I'll try to give a rough estimate once I see how pacing works out in a few chapters.
> 
> Also, I PROMISE that Alex and Willie will go by Alex and Willie in future chapters. It was super weird writing out their full names in this chapter, but it's what made the most sense considering the AU.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	2. CHAPTER II: THE PHANTOM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Warnings:** these first few chapters are fairly rough on Alex, and this chapter is really focuses on grief, mourning, and coping with a traumatic event.
> 
> I realized after posting last chapter that I never gave Star Wars canon context for those of you interested in that! So, here it is!  
>  **Canon context (spoilers for Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith):** this fic is set at the very end of Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. Order 66 just occurred - an event where the Republic troopers (also referred to as clones) killed all Jedi Order members. We pick up approximately 10-30 minutes after Order 66 happened. As Alex is all alone (and he presumes is the only one to escape Order 66), nobody in the public knows what has happened.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Alright,” Willie said, pushing back from the control panel and swivelling in his seat to stare at him. “We’re on route. We’ve been flying for a half hour. I know that  _ Phantom  _ doesn’t have a working hyperdrive, but we’re still making decent time, so please.  _ Please.  _ Can we go get you a bandage?”

Alexander —  _ Alex  _ — shook his head and clenched his jaw. It was taking nearly all his energy to keep upright and focused, but he couldn’t walk away — not yet.

“No,” he said. “We need to keep going. I can wait.”

“We’re all set,” Willie insisted. “See? The coordinates are programmed. There’s realistically nothing left for us to do up here and—”

Alexander —  _ Alex  _ (Force, he was going to have trouble with this one) — blew out a shaking breath and tightened his hold on the joystick in front of him. Technically, Willie was right, but he couldn’t shake this feeling — this  _ horrible feeling  _ — that this was too good to be true. Any second, reality would come rushing to get them like a hungry Zillo Beast at their heels, and they’d  _ need  _ to be at the controls to maneuver out of it.

“We’re not far enough away.”

He could feel Willie’s gaze on the side of his face — calculating, intense, piercing. Alexan—  _ Alex  _ could read his expression as easily as a scroll; he was worried.

(Rightfully so.)

Alex hated to admit it, but if he had been this injured only a few days before, the Temple Healers would’ve had him straight into a tank of bacta. Force, even if he was out in the field in the middle of a mission, he would’ve been given  _ some  _ form of medical by now.

It was taking all his training to keep himself from falling to pieces though. With each breath, his side would light up like a fire with flames licking across his abdomen. With each breath, Alex released all the rising emotions into the universe.

_ All the pain. _

_ All the fear. _

_ All the anger. _

_ All the shock. _

He’d been doing it ever since his Master had shoved him out the window with a whispered goodbye. He’d been doing it as he moved through the streets of Coruscant, and as he raced across the bays at the spaceport, and as he’d piloted the ship through the emptiness of space with Willie.

Despite it all, he was  _ scared.  _ No matter how hard he tried to release those emotions into the void, he was  _ terrified. _ He knew that as soon he stopped thinking of what came next — as soon as he stopped actively piloting the ship — as soon as he let Willie turn on auto-pilot and find him bandages — he knew he’d be done for.

A quiet world would be his downfall.

“Okay. That’s fine.” Willie swiveled back to look out the front dash, his expression morphing back to one of focus. “We’re still over a week away from Corellia. See?” Alex didn’t need to look at the nav screen to know what he was saying was the truth. Without being able to jump to hyperspace, travelling through realspace would take an obscene amount of time.

“There’s not anywhere closer?” Alex pressed.

“You wanted the nearest planet with the best transport system, yeah? Corellia’s the best hub of ports outside of Coruscant.”

He rubbed his temples. A headache was forming and no amount of releasing of tension was going to cure it anytime soon. He might’ve got off-planet, but that was a single grain of sand in the desert. If anyone caught wind of his escape, it would be easy to track a ship that had left Coruscant — especially considering the ship didn’t have a working hyperdrive. If he was going to get out, he needed to do better.

_ He needed to be better. _

“You should rest. You’re looking…  _ not great.” _

Alex cracked his eye open, coming face-to-face with Willie. He was leaning forward in his chair and  _ staring  _ at him. That was one of the most unnerving things about the pilot; how intense and expressive he was. He wore all of his emotions like a badge of honor.

He wouldn’t have lasted a day at the Temple.

“I’m fine.”

“You bled all over my pantry,” Willie argued. Alex pulled a face; he wasn’t bleeding  _ that  _ much — it was a blaster wound, after all.  _ “And _ you’re still bleeding all over my seat.  _ Which is okay.  _ The  _ Phantom’s  _ seen a lot of messes and isn’t in the greatest shape herself, but you’re not exactly fine.” 

As if to prove his point, Alex let out a tiny gasp as a particularly hard jolt rolled through his body.

_ Something shifted in his companion. _

Willie straightened and turned back to the console, his shoulders back, his chin lifted with defiance, and his movements filled with purpose. Alex might not’ve flown this freighter before, but he knew that the green toggle Willie flipped meant auto-pilot.

“Hold on—”

“I agreed to transport you, not your dead body.” Willie got up from his seat and held his hand out in Alex’s direction. When he didn’t take it immediately, he wiggled his fingers and pursed his lips. “Listen, man, you’re  _ bleeding  _ and you might be fine with that, but you’re stressing me out.”

He scoffed. “I’m not  _ fine  _ with that — I just know how to prioritize. The mission comes first —  _ always.” _

Maybe he had lost more blood than he realized because his lips were not usually so loose. He realized exactly what he said as soon as the words had left his mouth, but it was too late.

_ Mission.  _ He had said mission.

Alex watched for a reaction and was surprised when Willie’s expression didn’t change.

“You’re stressing me out, man,” Willie complained. “The ship is fine. It’s got the coordinates. We have  _ days  _ until we’re near Corellia. Nobody travels in realspace anymore, so we’re not going to bump into much traffic. If it were up to me — which it technically is, by the way, since I’m the  _ captain  _ — then I would’ve been fast asleep already, and I wouldn’t come back to the cockpit until the morning. Even then, I’d do a quick check, then be on my way. We’ve already done more than I would’ve. We’re going to be  _ fine.”  _ His gaze dropped to Alex’s side. “Well… we  _ will  _ be fine if we can bandage that wound before you croak.”

Again, Willie wiggled his fingers in waiting. Alex glanced out the glass pane that separated the cockpit from the vacuum of space and did one final sweep of the nothingness before he finally conceded. 

He took Willie’s hand.

“Dude, you’re like  _ ice.”  _

Willie guided him into a standing position slowly, as if he was afraid he was going to break with one wrong movement. Maybe he  _ was  _ going to break with one wrong movement because it felt as though he was under the pressure of a gravity well as soon as he tried to climb to his feet. His body was sluggish and distant and  _ cold. _

“Woah! Easy, hotdog.”

Alex let out a shaky laugh and tried to blink the dark spots from his vision. “That’s— that’s not my name.”

_ Alex wasn’t his name either — not really.  _ It was a portion of his name, and that didn’t really feel like  _ him. _

He didn’t dare say that. Not even blood loss was going to get him to slip up that much.

“You had a hot dog wrapper sticking out of your shirt when we first met,” Willie pointed out. 

Alex’s heart almost stopped.  _ He had wrapped his lightsaber in the wrapper from the street dog cart.  _ His lightsaber was safely stashed in the pantry now, but  _ Force.  _ He tensed, ready for a fight, but Willie continued speaking, oblivious to the sudden turn in Alex.

“So it’s now your nickname,” Willie continued. He wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulders in an attempt to steady him. “Better than ‘mean guy who tried to steal my ship,’ isn’t it?” 

He let out a breathless sound. “‘M not mean. I’m  _ great.  _ I’m sensitive and attentive and compassionate and—”

“No need to woo me,” he teased. Alex choked at that and Willie laughed. “I’m kidding. But also not. You did try to steal my ship.” He couldn’t argue that one, so he stayed silent as they moved back towards the living quarters. “Good thing we have the next few days together for you to convince me of your — what did you say? Compassion? Sensitivity?”

“Shut up.”

Alex’s legs were like jelly underneath him and Willie did most of the walking between the two of them. He couldn’t recall a time where he was like this with a stranger — so open and vulnerable to attacks. For as long as he could remember, he was with the Order or his Master. There had always been someone watching his back.

_ For the first time in his life, he was alone. _

He was alone and with someone he met at a Coruscant Underworld spaceport. There was no backup. There was no escape plan. There was nothing beyond him, and this tin can, and this pilot.

It was terrifying.

“Sit here,” Willie instructed, and Alex was thankful for the distraction. He had been away from the cockpit for seconds, yet his thoughts were already spiralling to dark places. 

He was lowered onto the couch in the living quarters, wincing as he moved. 

Willie’s lips were thin as he watched. Alex lifted his chin in defiance. 

“What?”

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything.” He held his hands up in surrender and disappeared into a branching hallway at the other end of the room, leaving Alex alone.

It was quiet in space.

_ He’d lived a large portion of his life among the stars one way or another, but this was different.  _

He had always been good at shielding — his Master told him it was another form of running, in a way — and he clung to this skill like a buoy at sea. As soon as he left the Temple, he built his shields up so much that it effectively cut himself off from the Force and the webs of connections that spiralled from it.

_ There was so much pain. _

It was hard to wrap his mind around. In the space which used to house so much life and light now was  _ empty.  _ It was a gaping hole in the galaxy and the web of life. So many lights snuffed out all at once — all the suffering and the pain — all the distortion of balance.

_ So many Jedi — dead. _

Alex would rather take the silence than that suffering right now.

Even though it felt like he was cut off from a piece of his soul by cutting himself off from the Force, it was better than feeling all that death around the galaxy. Feeling nothing was better than feeling all that pain and getting swept up in grief. 

_ That  _ was something the Masters would agree on.

No emotion at all was better than allowing fear, grief, and anger burrow in one's thoughts.

“Alrighty,” Willie said, reappearing back in the room with an armful of medical supplies. He studied a clear vial lifted to the light as he walked, his expression twisted in concentration. “I think this expired a few rotations ago, but it’s not chunky, so it can’t be  _ that bad,  _ right?”

It took Alex a few beats to be able to speak again.

“Those sound like some strong last words,” he said.

_ That  _ wasn’t the right thing to say. Grief hit him in the gut so hard that it stole the breath from his lungs and brought a sting to his eyes.

_ Just how many last words were spoken today? How many Jedi spoke their last words only hours ago? How many— _

“Hm. Well, I do have a bacta patch as a substitute to the paste.” He set down the medical supplies, completely unaware of the turmoil Alex had been launched into. Alex grasped the edges of the couch, desperately needing something to tether him to this moment. “Disinfectant, a bacta patch, and a bandage should do it, right? I hope so because that’s all I have. I’m not really equipped for near-death situations.”

When Alex’s vision started to spin, it was hard to decide if it was because of Willie’s words or from all the blood he lost.

_ Near-death.  _ He had been near-death today, and it had nothing to do with the relatively minor blaster wound on his side.

Alex’s eyes slid shut and his throat tightened and—

_ Force. _

“Hey.”

He flinched backwards when a warm hand brushed against his own. Willie immediately pulled back, but didn’t break eye contact.

“It’s okay,” he said. Alex’s blood turned to ice with these words. Just how much did he know? “You’re going to be okay. I don’t know what happened — I don’t know what you’re going through — but it’s going to be fine.” He paused, his gaze dipping towards the wound at his side for a brief moment, before they locked eyes once again. “I’m just messing around; your side isn’t that bad.”

Alex smiled thinly. “I know.” 

While he was in a lot of pain, he wasn’t in any danger of dying.

Hesitantly, Willie continued. “And I know you’re in trouble with the Coruscant Security Force and Republic troopers, that much is clear, but we’re away from that now. Okay?” There was a brief pause. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Alex had decided from the moment he saw Willie that he could never know the truth.

By knowing who he was — by knowing that he was part of the Jedi Order — his life would be at risk. Not just  _ his  _ life, but Willie’s too. Alex didn’t know what the new galaxy would look like once the news of the Jedi Order’s destruction spread, but he knew that any surviving Force-sensitives were going to be hunted. Anyone who would get in the way of that would be unimportant and collateral damage.

It was safer this way — for both of them. 

“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Alex lied. “I saw something I shouldn’t have. I got hit with a blasterbolt in the skirmish.”

Willie sat directly across from him on the edge of the table, looking intrigued and frightened at the same time. He fiddled with a roll of gauze absentmindedly, his thumb brushing across the material back and forth.

“What did you see?”

_ The only thing that went right today was the moment that followed. _

Alex let out a gasp and doubled over as his side flared with pain strong enough to make his vision blur and ears ring.

Willie was at his side in an instant, a thick bandage pressed against his wound to stem the bleeding. His grip was firm and sure, like he’d done this hundreds of times, yet his expression was tight with concern.

_ The conversation was dropped. _

Force, when did things get so bad? Sweat ran down the sides of his face and made his shirt stick to his back. His stomach was in a constant roll. And his  _ side,  _ it throbbed with each beat of his heart, and it burned like the lava on Sullust. He could feel it in his soaking into his marrow, and eating his soul, and—

“Enough waiting — we’re bandaging this now before it gets worse. Otherwise, we’re not making it to Corellia; we’re stopping for some medical help.”

“No,” he said quickly. His whole body snapped to attention and he caught Willie’s wrist. He tried with everything in him to convey his desperation with his eyes. “I can’t be seen. I— I’m in  _ trouble,  _ okay, and I can’t— If someone  _ sees  _ me—”

“Hey, it’s okay. No medics, alright? It’s just us.”

Despite not knowing the pilot beyond first names and half-jokes, Alex  _ believed  _ him. He didn’t have another choice, really, because he’d already jumped head-first into this.

(Whatever the hell  _ this  _ was.)

“Lay back and lift your shirt. It’ll sting at first, but that’s how you know it’s working.” 

Alex did as instructed and reclined on the couch, lifting his scorched shirt enough to reveal the wound underneath. His stomach rolled and his head grew fuzzy at the appearance of the injury.

He should’ve been used to seeing blaster wounds like this by now from how often people got hurt out on the field, but there was something different about  _ seeing  _ it and  _ seeing it on your own body.  _ It was like a switch flipped in his mind that told him ‘oh, yes,  _ this  _ is where all that pain is coming from. Now let’s make it hurt worse.’

“Ouch,” Willie muttered, his face twisted in a sympathetic wince. “That’s gotta hurt.” All he could do to respond was make a throaty sound. “Do you want something for the pain? I have some—”

“No.”

Because Alex knew the pain medication would make the world grow fuzzy and  _ as soon as he lost the concentration that allowed him to keep his mental shields up,  _ everything would come rushing back.

The Force.

The emotions in the universe.

The severed connections.

The dying lights.

That would be more painful than the sharp pain radiating from his side.

“Alright, no meds. Got it.”

Maybe the universe didn’t hate Alex as much as he thought because Willie seemed like an okay guy. He could’ve bumped into  _ anybody  _ at Covington’s spaceport, yet he bumped into  _ him.  _ Alex didn’t know much about the pilot, but he didn’t ask questions nor did he push, and that was the most important thing right now.

Alex looked away, instead choosing to focus on the rest of the living quarters while Willie got to work. 

As disinfectant was poured onto his flesh, he studied the small kitchenette along the front wall — fit with dishes for one. He clenched his jaw and desperately tried to hold onto thoughts of hanging food packages and well-used cups to keep the thoughts of pain away.

While Willie struggled with ripping the backing off the bacta patch, he focused on the personal touches around the room — the toy starfighters on the back wall, the schematics for ships hanging on every available surface, the stack of blankets on the corner of the couch. While the ship must’ve belonged to the Rimma Trading Company if the logo on the exterior was anything to go by, it felt personal and…  _ cluttered  _ inside. Everywhere he looked, there was some item laying around. It was a far stretch from the generic transport freighter he had expected. 

As the warm goo was plastered on his side, Alex counted the number of doorways in the room — five, including the door to the pantry. It was a surprising number, considering how tiny the ship looked from the exterior. One, he knew belonged to the hall the led to the cockpit and ramp. Another, he assumed must’ve led to the bunks. A third must’ve went down to the cargo hold below. 

And, finally, as Willie began to wrap the white gauze around his abdomen, he couldn’t take it anymore. He watched Willie work, if only to give himself something to do to stop  _ thinking. _

_ Force, he wished he could stop thinking. _

The lighting in the ship was tremendously better than what it had been out on the port, which allowed tiny details that Alex missed earlier to shine through. 

The first thing Alex noticed was Willie’s eyes — dark, unlike the space they travelled through, and more like the thick bark of the trees on Endor. The grease streak across his forehead was still there, as was flecks of dirt high on his cheekbones. Clearly, he must’ve been working on some repairs before Alex tried to steal his ship. Willie’s hair was tucked behind his ear as he worked, but he’d pause often to blow stray strands hanging in front of his eyes away. He was focused as he worked, with his nose scrunched and his forehead creased — entirely oblivious to Alex’s gaze. 

He was beautiful. Stunning, really. Alex had been struck by this fact as soon as he caught sight of him. The undeniable fact had been easy to ignore, considering the fact he was pressed against the side of his ship and convinced he was about to die.

_ But now. _

Now that he was safe and travelling across the galaxy with him—

It was impossible to ignore.

“Alex,” Willie said, jolting Alex from his thoughts and breaking the thick silence that enveloped them. His hands were cool on his side and gentle as he worked. “I just… I want you to know; you’re safe here. You’re in trouble, I get it, but I won’t hurt you and I won’t do anything to put you in harm's way. You’ll be safe here — I promise.”

Alex reflexively turned snarky instead of something deeper. It was easier that way.

“Are you this trusting with all strangers who tried stealing your ship, or just me?”

Willie’s grin was fleeting. “I learned to trust my gut a long time ago and, right now, it’s telling me to trust you.” His hands stilled over his side and they locked eyes. “You need to lay low? Cool. We can do that. Alright? No need to stress. Like I said earlier, I’m the captain of this ship, which means you’re my responsibility. I’m going to make sure you get to Corellia in one piece, alright?”

He didn’t get it. 

He was a stranger, a stranger that he was transporting for free. Maybe Alex was naive about a lot of things — this was a fact that some of the Temple Masters liked to remind him of — but he knew that people didn’t just do things out of the goodness of their heart. There was always a catch, always a higher price, always  _ something. _

“You’re confusing,” Alex admitted.

Willie snorted. “Oh, am I?”

“We aren’t friends. I tried to steal your ship. Yet, you left Coruscant and are transporting me without complaint.”

The thick silence came back full-force. Willie was dedicatedly focused on knotting the bandage around his torso, his joyous expression from seconds ago washed away. Alex swallowed back his concern at the sudden change and waited.

When the knot at the end of the bandage was completed and laying flat against his stomach, they locked eyes.

Genuity. He could see it in his gaze. Willie was an open book for all to read.

“I know what it’s like to be in trouble and need out — to need  _ someone  _ to help you out,” he admitted. “That spaceport back there? That used to be  _ everything  _ I had until someone from Rimma Trading Company gave me a ship in exchange for running jobs. If it wasn’t for  _ one person,  _ I would’ve still been stuck working under Covington, and that would’ve been my life.” The corners of his lips quirked up. “Besides,  _ you  _ also helped me out. I was in a tight spot back there too. You were the one to convince me to go.”

Alex still didn’t get it, but he nodded anyway. It was the least he could do when Willie was staring at him so openly.

“Alright. Good. You’re all good, man.” Willie tugged on the bandage and stood, the weight from his admission disappearing completely, as if it never happened at all. “No dying on me, okay? No ghosts are allowed on the ship.”

Alex smirked. “I thought the ship was called  _ Phantom?” _

“It is; that’s why no ghosts are allowed. We’re already at capacity.” He lifted his eyebrows in a flash. “You know me, always following the rules and stuff.”

“I don’t know you,” Alex countered, “but I have a hard time believing that’s true.”

Willie winked and turned, heading towards the doorway from earlier with the medical supplies in hand. As soon as he was out of the room, Alex studied the bandage around his torso. It was good work, almost as neat as the ones medics did out on the field.

“How’d you learn how to do this?” Alex asked, pulling at the knot. Even  _ that  _ was tied expertly.

“You pick up skills here and there, I donno. I’ve gone a little bit everywhere, so knowing how to keep myself in one piece is important. I also make a mean breakfast, just so you know.”

“You know what, that was my next question.” Alex smiled to himself and fell back onto the couch. Shuffling came from the adjacent room. “Thank you, by the way. For… everything.”

“Oh, yeah, no problem.” Willie returned with a stack of cloth. Upon further inspection, Alex realized that it was  _ clothing  _ that he was carrying. “Corellia is really damp and cold this time of their revolution, so you’re going to need something better than a half-burned shirt.”

The cloth was soft to the touch — much softer than any of the robes the Temple provided for him. Clearly, it was a well-loved item.

Before Alex could find the right words, Willie was speaking again. “You should catch some sleep. You’ve had a rough day by the looks of it and it looks like you’re about to pass out.”

He couldn’t argue with that. His whole body ached. His head throbbed. His heart was in pieces scattered around his body. His soul and the connection he had to the universe was missing, leaving an echoing void that left a chill in his bones.

Alex nodded and brushed his fingers against the material a few times. “Sure. Yeah. Good call.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither of them moving. Finally, Willie gestured to the doorway behind him.

“Uh. The bunks are back there.”

* * *

Silence was unusual.

Alex truly felt the weight of  _ nothingness  _ as he stared out at the vastness of space. 

Ever since he could remember, he was never alone, not when the Force moved around him and not when he felt strings of connections to his Master and other Force-sensitives around the galaxy. There was a constant buzz to it all; something at the back of his mind was always aware that there was someone out there.

Someone, somewhere —  _ always. _

Now, as he stared at the stars, that buzz was gone.

He didn’t know how quiet it would be without it.

Alex turned back to the blaster holster in his lap and continued to fiddle with the straps. Willie had tossed it at him without batting an eye when he saw it gathering dust in the bunks. It wasn’t ideal, but he needed somewhere better than the pot of grains in the pantry to hide his ‘saber, and this was the next best thing.

It was a relief to keep his hands busy. If he never stopped working, never stopped thinking, then maybe—

He wouldn’t realize how lonely he was.

He wouldn’t realize how  _ empty  _ he was.

He wouldn’t realize how broken, and heavy, and suffocated, and  _ screwed  _ he was—

Alex released all the building emotions into the universe and clung to his Masters’ words.  _ There is no emotion, there is peace. _

No emotion. No emotion. No emotion.

It was something hammered into him from a young age —  _ don’t fall to anger, don’t dance with temptations, don’t form attachments, don’t feel too strongly. _

Any strong emotion — negative or positive — was encouraged to be released into the world, like letting a petal float down a stream. Gone. Forgotten. Never to return to act upon or cloud the mind or sway judgements. The thoughts that sparked emotions, those were kept and pondered during meditation, and that was that.

To take his mind off it all, Alex let his walls drop and reached out with the Force. Before he could feel the blinking light of Willie’s lifeform coming from the bunks, he was hit with a pain so deep that he choked on his breath. Tears made the world blur. It felt as though he’d been sucked under the waves of an ocean — pulled lower and lower, spiralling, pressure against his temples, drowning.

Almost as if him meshing with the Force triggered an alert somewhere, a light on the far left of the dash lit up and an alarm echoed through the  _ Phantom.  _

Alex forced the walls back up and attempted to reach for the silencing button, but—

He couldn’t move.

He was glued to the co-pilot seat by what felt like an invisible force. The muscles in his body turned to ice, and his heart was pounding quick enough to sound like the sputter of a dying engine, his vision was blurred with tears, and his mind was foggy from adrenaline and panic and—

“Ouch! Shit!” Willie came flying into the cockpit, his blanket from the bunks still wrapped around his left foot and his hair plastered to the side of his head. He launched toward the blaring alarm and fell gracelessly into the pilot seat. “Okay, okay, okaaaaaaay— yes!” The alarm silenced and he pulled the comm device up to his ear. Still panting, he answered. “Hi? Hello? Yep,  _ Phantom Rho _ for Rimma Trading.” 

Alex was still trying to get a grip on reality. His walls were up, but the  _ echoes  _ all that despair left on him — it was haunting. He felt sick, as if he was the one dying  _ over and over and— _

_ “Shit. _ What?” Willie’s tone became so sharp and his posture shifted so suddenly that it made a new pit of dread settle in Alex. The pilot cast a quick glance in his direction before pulling the comms closer to his ear and rubbing his temple. “Repeat. Yeah, from the top.”

The feeling of being lost in a storm was subsiding, but something worse was rising in its place. It wasn’t the suffering echoing from the bonds of the Force that he felt; it was the panic from Willie.

Whatever he heard over the comms the second time was almost worse than the first. He let out a shaky breath and hunched forward, drawing away from the rest of the world. His shoulders grew tense and his voice hushed and—

“Are you serious?” Whoever was on the other line must’ve confirmed because it looked like Willie had been punched in the face. “Who told you this? What do you mean it’s  _ everywhere?  _ No, I—” He fell silent. His expression grew longer. Alex strained to hear what the other person was saying, but could only make out a faint chatter.

“Copy.” A pause, then— “I’m a planetary rotations out from Abregado-rae. We’ll rendezvous at HGC Hub then—  _ What? _ Less than twenty hours to get there—  _ are you joking me?  _ I don’t have a…” Willie chewed on his fingernail and glanced at the navs. “Loud and clear. Just… that’s not enough time and— Fine. Over and out.”

If he wasn’t so terrified, the image in front of him would’ve been beautiful, with Willie’s profile lit up by the blue lights on the dash, and the stars blinking behind him, but—  _ he was terrified.  _ He could feel it as unquestionably as he could see the stars.

All Alex could do was  _ stare  _ at Willie’s silhouette and wait.

_ Stare, and stare, and stare, and— _

“I—” Willie stopped short. Swallowed thickly. Opened his mouth. Shut it. “Okay, so. Do you take bad news well, or should I try and tell you this gently?”

“Huh?” Alex was thrown at the sudden shift.

“You seem like a ‘tell it to me straight’ type person,” he continued. Alex’s gaze was drawn towards Willie’s shaking hands, still clutching the comms device. His heart could not settle in his chest — it was lightyears behind them at this point, having falling right out of his body from how  _ horrible  _ this wait was— “The Republic is dead.”

That sucked the air from the cockpit.

Alex couldn’t breathe.

_ “What?” _

Willie set down the comms on the dash and ran a ragged hand over his face. It looked as though he’d just seen a ghost, with wide eyes and shaking hands and shallow breaths—

“That was Rimma Trade,” he explained, gesturing vaguely to the comms. “They… They told me I’m required by the freakin  _ Galactic Empire  _ to come in for a sweep of the vessel. Not the Republic, not the Senate — the  _ Galactic Empire  _ and the newly appointed  _ Emperor _ Palpatine.” 

Willie sunk back into his seat in shock.

Alex wasn’t doing much better.

_ Oh no. _

“A statement was released by the Emperor — saying that there was a secret rebellion? That it was the Jedi who tried to take over the government and  _ kill him?  _ That’s why they reorganized from the Republic to the Empire and— wait, shit.” Willie sprang forward, a newfound energy filling him. “Can you take manual controls? We need to be going faster than this if we’re going to make it to Abregado-rae when they want us. Apparently, I’m  _ required  _ to be there within twenty hours when we are  _ twenty-five hours  _ out — and, yes, that is a direct order from the Galactic Empire.”

Alex couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t—

Willie was looking at him expectantly, but  _ he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak—  _ Shock made him feel as though he was frozen to the chair beneath him. His heart was in his throat. His jaw was tight, his throat dry, his mind spinning—

“Alex?”

Alex didn’t know what broke him — was it the way Willie watched him with calculating eyes, was it the way that he said his  _ fake name,  _ was it something else — it didn’t matter.

_ It didn’t matter. _

He was half-way across the ship before he realized he had moved. 

His whole body protested the movement, his side still only partially healed, but he needed to  _ go. _

_ He needed to run. _

_ Run, run, run, run— _

“Alex!”

He ignored Willie shouting after him. His body felt heavy with horror and dread. Reality ticked by like they were caught in a black hole. It was a struggle to stay standing, to stay silent, to—

This couldn’t be real. It was a nightmare. The whole day had been a nightmare.

But—

He knew he didn’t have the imagination to come up with this. Never — not even on his worst days — did he imagine the galaxy crumbling around him like this. The Jedi Order was something that just could not fall; it felt as solid and sure as the bedrock beneath their feet and the oxygen in the air and—

_ He should’ve known better, because he had witnessed the destruction of those things too many times — he witnessed impenetrable fortresses fall, he saw planets go to waste— _

_ He saw, he saw, he saw — and he didn’t think. _

He didn’t think, and now he was here. 

_ Alone.  _

Possibly the only Force-sensitive to escape from the Temple; possibly the only Force-sensitive with training to escape what felt like a wide-spread purge. Alex  _ hoped  _ to everything good that he was wrong, but the pain that stretched across the universe made it impossible to believe.

And the Chancellor— no. The  _ Emperor.  _ The fall of the Republic. The fall of democracy. The fall of the very thing Alex was taught to protect, especially in the last few years with the Clone Wars and the Separatists and—

The galaxy was not the place he thought it was. Everything he thought he knew —  _ gone.  _ Everything he vowed his life to —  _ gone. _

The Order, the Republic, the  _ people,  _ the—

Willie caught Alex’s elbow before he could fall to the ground.

“Alright, let’s get you sitting.” Together, they crossed the short distance to the couch in the living quarters. _When did they get here?_ He didn’t know. He couldn’t remember. “Alex, can you hear me? Take a few deep breaths with me, alright? Just a few.”

He blinked slowly and sucked in breath after breath, mirroring Willie beside him. His thoughts were spinning too fast to keep up with, but they all focused on one thing.

_ Everything was about to change. _

He had never done good with change. And, even more pressing—

_ He lost everything. _

To be completely alone — that was something that he never faced, never thought,  _ never considered.  _ He dedicated his life to the Order and that meant never being alone, always having a direction, never being lost at space—

He lost that. With the Order’s demise, he  _ lost that. _

(He couldn’t begin to think of everything else he lost.)

(The Younglings that he trained back at the Temple, so small and hopeful and  _ bright—) _

(His Master, who gave him the chance to escape, who gave him the mission to spread the truth and rebuild the Order from the ashes, who  _ taught him and raised him and—) _

(His friends he grew up with at the Temple, all brought there so young, all leaning on each other in battle and in knowledge —  _ Luke, and Bobby, and—) _

(He couldn’t think of this — not now — maybe not ever.)

(Because once he realized  _ everything that he lost,  _ he wasn’t sure how he was going to recover — he wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to pull himself from that despair without something to latch onto — with no Order, no direction, no—)

It didn’t matter how much he lost personally, not really. He lost  _ everything,  _ and yet the worst part—

The worst part was the fact that they were being painted as the bad guys.

The victors were the ones to shape history. The winners were the ones to pass down whatever story they deemed fit; of course, they’d never tell the truth — just  _ their  _ truth — just whatever they  _ wanted  _ to be true — whatever they wanted the people to  _ believe  _ to be true.

And what the Emperor said—

_ That the Jedi were plotting against the Republic— _

_ That the Jedi tried to assassinate the Chancellor— _

_ That the Clone Wars were caused by the Jedi— _

It wasn’t true.

It wasn’t true, but  _ they had lost,  _ and now whatever story the Emperor wanted to tell could be told without anyone to say any different.

It was horrible, horrifying, horrific—

Willie was in front of him now, his eyes wide and searching. Alex’s gaze was drawn to his, as if they were two binary stars destined to meet in the middle. He didn’t realize he wasn’t blinking until they made eye contact and his vision blurred with tears.

“Good,” Willie said as soon as Alex’s breathing started to even out. He nodded his head rapidly and fidgeted with his own fingers. “You’re good, man, just keep breathing. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

Alex had to avert his gaze at that.

He didn’t find out anything — and what Willie just found out wasn’t the truth.

Alex was filled with so much rage, so much injustice, so much  _ pain  _ that it was difficult to breathe through. It was difficult to stop his hands from shaking, difficult to keep silent, difficult not to burst right then and there—

“I know,” Willie said.

He didn’t though, because he didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know, but—

“I know what you’re feeling,” Willie continued. Alex didn’t know what he was talking about because, quite simply, Alex didn’t know what he was feeling in that moment. “I’m scared too.”

Now that he said it, Alex could see it written plainly on his features. The darting of the eyes, the blood draining from his face, the jerky movements and unsteady breathing.

_ Willie was scared. _

How could he not be, when he just learned the Republic had fallen to an Empire? It might’ve been  _ hitting _ Alex now, but this was the first time the pilot had heard of this. 

Maybe he didn’t lose the Jedi Order and a Master and friends like Alex had, but he had lost something.

_ The whole galaxy had lost something. _

But that wasn’t it.

That wasn’t why Alex was shaking on the couch.

That wasn’t why it felt like he had the power of a burning star in his soul, aching to spill over the edge, taunting him with the numbness and serenity that came with anger.

He couldn’t tell him the truth though, so—

_ He lied. _

This was something he knew how to do. It was something he rarely did, rarely ever needing to do the talking during missions, but he learned it from his Master. The success of a mission oftentimes relied on certain pieces of information remaining confidential — most times, this required one to lie by omission or spin an entirely different story altogether.

He was also taught that the best lie was to mirror the truth.

_ The truth. _

“Yes,” he said, his voice shaking, “I’m scared. Terrified.”

_ And filled with fury, and rage— _

But he was terrified too.

Because he was alone.

He was alone, and now he was announced to be an enemy of the Galactic Empire.

He swallowed thickly and tried to keep his voice from shaking. “What… what did they say exactly? About the Jedi?”

Willie pulled back sharply, his eyebrows pushed together and his lip twisted in confusion. “About the Jedi?”

“They were part of a rebellion,” Alex reminded him. The words felt like poison on his tongue.  _ But he had to keep up the act —  _ now more than ever. “What else did your company say?”

“Uh…” His eyes squeezed shut in thought. “They were leading a rebellion against the Republic and there was an assassination attempt on the Chancellor. He’s given an order to hunt and eradicate the remaining Jedi to end the Clone Wars and bring new stability to the Empire.”

_ Alex had to look away. _

This was wrong.

_ This was so very wrong. _

“The Emperor also gave the order to licensed trading companies to sweep all operating ships that left Coruscant within the last planetary rotation. That’s why we need to get to Abregado-rae and to the spaceport there. We have less than one Coruscant day to get from here to the spaceport without a hyperdrive,” Willie explained.

He hadn’t been thinking about it. He had heard Willie talking about switching course to Abregado-rae and he heard something about a mandated sweep, but he didn’t fully comprehend it until  _ this moment. _

They were searching for escaped Jedi. There was no other explanation. Why would the Emperor order vessels that were out-going from Coruscant to be searched?

Alex’s face dropped.

A chilling reality settled on him.

“I’ll still take you to Corellia,” he promised, “we just gotta make a small stop along the way, but—”

“No.” 

The sharp hands of dread were wrapped around his gut, searing fear into his bones. It was hard to think past the imminent thoughts of doom that swept over him. It was impossible to see past the dark future laying right in front of them.

If the ship was swept, he’d be found, and then—

Then, he’d be captured, or killed, or  _ worse.  _ If the Emperor wanted to eradicate the Jedi Order, any of those options were possible — nothing was off the table after what Alex witnessed in the Temple.

_ And Willie. _

There’d be some punishment for Willie, Alex was sure. He  _ helped  _ him escape. He unknowingly aided a  _ criminal  _ in escaping prosecution on Coruscant, but he doubted they’d care about how much he did or didn’t know.

Willie helped Alex, and as soon as they found out that he was from the Jedi Order—

“I can’t go to Abregado-rae.”

Willie frowned. “It’s not really an option, man. If they’re telling us that we need to be searched,  _ we need to be searched.  _ They said if I don’t make it in on time, I’m going to get in trouble. I don’t want to know what they’d say if I don’t come  _ at all.” _

Alex stood from the couch, needing to be doing  _ something  _ with all the energy building in him. He ran his slick palms up and down the sides of his pants —  _ Willie’s pants,  _ the ones that he was borrowing — and tried to stay calm.

“I… I can’t go  _ anywhere.”  _ Alex let out a ragged breath and fought to think of something  _ — anything —  _ that would get him out of this. His heart was pounding against his ribs and he was  _ spinning,  _ so out of control — so much so that it felt like he was in a ship with a broken aileron. “When I said earlier that I needed to lay low, I meant that I can’t be seen.  _ At all.  _ If I’m spotted — and  _ you’re with me…  _ it puts both of us in danger.”

Willie sunk back to the couch, his hand brought up to rub the bridge of his nose. He looked as stressed as Alex felt.

“Okay,” he said, his voice tight. “Alright, yeah, I get it. And it’s fine. It’s fine. It’ll work out.” Alex didn’t know if he was trying to reassure him or himself with these words, but it didn’t seem to ease the tension in either of them. “I said I’d protect you and you’d be safe, and I still want you to believe that. You  _ are  _ safe.” Alex felt a rush of relief flow through him with that — a rush so powerful that it briefly knocked the primal panic and dread from him. Willie continued to speak. “We just need to… think creatively.”

It was thanks to the rush of relief that made Alex sink to the couch and laugh breathlessly.

“Is that your way of saying breaking the rules?”

The corner of Willie’s lip pulled up. His hand fell to his side, giving Alex full view of his mirthful expression.

“Of course not,” he said, his voice sarcastic. “Me? Breaking the rules? Never.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Yeah, man, we just need to figure out a way to  _ bend  _ the rules.” He winked. “And lucky for you, I know just the way to do it.”

Sitting beside Willie, joking with each other,  _ smiling  _ — it made him feel like it was all going to be okay.

It was a fleeting feeling, but one that he wished he could hold on to forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY FRIEND RYN MADE STUNNING ART FOR THIS FIC!!!!!!!! [Here it is!!](https://thesunwillart.tumblr.com/post/638590965855158272/dude-you-dented-my-ship-i-dented-your) There's three art pieces there and _oh my goodness_ I don't think I'll ever stop screaming. The amount of detail she put into these images?? It's like they're straight out of what I imagined. Thank you, Ryn!! You're the best. Go check out more of her Willex art on her Tumblr [thesunwillart](https://thesunwillart.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	3. CHAPTER III: ABREGADO-RAE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of past character death

Twenty hours.

It took twenty straight hours of work to give life to Willie’s plan.

Twenty hours of cutting and welding — twenty hours of rerouting pipes and rewiring entire systems — twenty hours of standing under showers of sparks and using up the remaining bacta patches on burns and massaging sore necks from craning to look up at the vents.

It was twenty hours filled with work for both Alex and Willie.

 _It was also twenty hours of absolutely no sleep for Alex —_ a predicament entirely unrelated to Willie’s plan.

As they carved out a hollow chamber in the vents above the cargo hold and below the living quarters, Alex couldn’t stop thinking about how screwed up everything was. The more time that passed since he left Coruscant — the longer it had been since he witnessed the fall of the Jedi Temple — the less full his mind became.

_That wasn’t entirely a good thing._

The less chaos — the less adrenaline — the less numbness — it all meant that he had time and space to think, to process, to feel, to relive.

_Those were the exact things he did not want to do._

So he threw himself into the work to keep from thinking too much. He kept himself busy, even when Willie told him to take a break and sleep, because _he didn’t want to stop._

He didn’t want to unpack everything that happened — not yet.

_He couldn’t._

It was twenty hours after they left Coruscant that Abregado-Rae came into view and their plan went into action.

Alex sat stiffly in the co-pilot seat as Willie brought them into orbit. He looked calm on the exterior, but Alex could practically _feel_ the waves of tension radiating off of him.

“It’ll work,” Willie said, his voice strained. He punched a few buttons and took manual control of the ship. “You remember the plan?”

Alex nodded stiffly. It wasn’t so much of a plan, but a desperate attempt at flying under the radar. He would hide in the freshly built hollow space in the cargo hold, be quiet, and hope nobody was the wiser.

(Really, Alex hoped that the facilities on Abregado-Rae weren’t equipped with life-form scanners — otherwise, everything would go up in flames.)

He didn’t really have a job to do other than be quiet. It was _Willie_ that had the important pieces — playing it cool, lying with ease, acting as if there was nothing out of the ordinary on his ship.

Alex reminded him of such.

When Willie glanced in his direction, he had a thin grin on his lips and a spark of defiance in his eyes. 

“Go,” he urged. “Go so I can get into character.”

Alex stared at him for a long moment. Willie looked at ease and he hoped he’d be able to keep the facade once they arrived at the spaceport.

“You can do it,” Alex told him. 

Willie’s eyes snapped to his. 

His hands stilled. 

A beat passed.

Maybe it was Alex’s imagination, but they felt connected in that moment — as if they were _tethered_ together — purely from their shared dread and hope. They’d succeed together, or—

_They’d fail together._

Either way, they were in this together.

“Thanks, man,” Willie said. He nodded towards the hallway. “Do you need a little boost to get up there, or…?”

Alex choked on a laugh. “First of all, I’m _taller than you,_ so—”

“I can find something to stand on,” he offered teasingly. “Or are you keeping the really impressive talent of jumping ten feet into the air a secret?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. You caught me.”

(Minutes later, when Alex _was_ jumping the ten feet to reach the hollowed out space, he would absolutely not be thinking of this conversation and laughing. Not at all.)

Really, it was only with the aid of the Force that he was able to make the jump. 

_The same Force that hit him so hard that it shocked the air from his lungs as soon as he connected with it._

_The same Force that washed dread through him so deeply that he could feel it in every molecule of his being, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight._

_The same Force that connected him with the massive amount of pain, and horror, and suffering spread through the galaxy—_

Not just in the Force-sensitives though, Alex realized, but in other beings. 

He settled into the tight space above the cargo hold, with metal walls pressing in on him from all sides and darkness that seemed to swallow him whole, and he gasped.

_Over and over—_

It was a different pain. He could feel it, layered through the Force. It was suffering, no doubt, and it was just as bone-deep and horrifying as the suffering that the fallen Jedi were radiating, but… This one didn’t steam from physical pain. It didn’t stem from lights blinking out of existence. 

It wasn’t born out of death and unbalance.

It was because people were scared.

Scared, and unsure, and desperate.

Ever since he could walk, he was taught one lesson. _Fear was the first step of many to the dark side; fear led to anger, and anger led to suffering._

It was almost too much to feel. The waves of distress radiating on him from all angles rivalled the strength and ferocity of the high tide on Kef Bir. He was briefly tempted to rebuild those walls he had hid behind for nearly a full day — he was tempted to turn away from the Force, just so he could get a chance to catch his breath, just so he could remember what it was like to breath without the crushing weight of despair on his chest, but—

He couldn’t.

He clenched his eyes and sucked in a few steadying breaths. He needed to calm himself and _focus._ If he screwed this up, he wasn’t just risking his life, but Willie’s too — _and the survival of the Jedi Order._

He needed to keep himself open to the Force because, without it, they would never get off Abregado-Rae.

The ship rocked back and forth as they entered Abregado-Rae’s atmosphere — so much so that he slid across the small space and smashed against the opposite wall. A flare of pain ran up his shoulder, but subsided quickly.

Alex focused on the sliver of light pouring in from the cargo hold, painting a thin strip of yellow on the back piece of the metal box. All while the ship rocked and bumped as they began to decelerate, he didn’t look away from the light. He focused on the way his lightsaber dug into his ribs — the blaster holder being repurposed just enough to keep his weapon close to his side — _just in case it came to needing it._

His heart was pounding frantically in his chest. He was well aware that fear was on a danger path, but it was impossible not to feel it in that moment. A million possibilities ran through his mind, each worse than the one before it. His stomach was in knots. His chest felt heavy with the weight of the galaxy. His fingers shook against his leg.

_They could be caught._

He could be caught and killed. It wasn’t unlikely — it was why they requested Willie to come in. They were looking for him.

(Or, not _him_ exactly, but people like him — Jedi that escaped the slaughter at the Temple.)

If he died, then this was all for nothing.

Avoiding Master Skywalker and the carnage in his wake.

The rushed goodbye with his Master.

Fleeing the Temple.

Escaping Coruscant.

The worst fate that he could imagine was being caught; not only because he knew it would result in his death, but because it would result in Willie’s death too.

_Willie._

He was scared for him the most.

Worrying for others over himself wasn’t something new; it was a feeling he grew used to during the war. Inherently, it was what all Jedi strived to do.

_Do it for others, not yourself._

_Be a peacekeeper for the galaxy and fight for the people._

_Give yourself until there was nothing left to give._

Yet, this was different. Willie was different. Alex was the one to bring him into this mess, and now—

Now, it was up to Willie to get them out.

Was it fair? No. Maybe that added to the twist in Alex’s gut. It should be _him_ out there, trying to find them away off-planet before anything terrible happened, because Willie was an innocent civilian.

_An innocent civilian that was harboring a now-wanted criminal._

Alex had tested out the hollow space earlier when the metal was still hot to the touch from welding, but now it felt _cold_ and _small_ and _suffocating,_ especially knowing that _Willie_ was out there _all alone,_ and he was in here—

Useless. Hiding. Relying on others to get him out of this mess.

Alex wasn’t sure just how much he trusted Willie. 

The truth was; Willie was just a stranger.

Sure, he helped hide him from Covington, but that was just as much for his own sake. He could’ve been out there right now, telling the spaceport hands of his presence. He could’ve been turning him over. It would’ve been the smart thing to do — Willie wouldn’t get in trouble because he was honest and turned in a criminal — he wouldn’t have to play this _game_ of hiding and lying and running.

But, somehow, Alex knew in his soul that Willie wasn’t going to do that.

It didn’t matter. It was too late, even if Alex was wrong about Willie. Alex was stored away in the ceiling, and the _Phantom_ was landing in a spaceport, and Willie was his only hope.

The landing was smooth, but that didn’t surprise Alex. Willie was a _really_ good pilot. Like, _really_ good. He’d watched him closely ever since they met, and he really knew what he was doing. They wouldn’t have got off of Coruscant before a blockade was set up if he wasn’t talented, and Willie _knew_ his ship well beyond just _flying_ it.

This hollowed out space Alex was hiding in wouldn’t have existed without Willie and his in-depth knowledge of his ship, after all.

Only seconds after the ship shuddered with a touchdown and the engines cut, Alex could hear Willie’s footsteps. They were faint at first as he moved around the cockpit, but grew louder as he made his way towards the ramp.

 _Shit._ He’d underestimated just how poor the metal walls and floors disguised sounds. He could hear _everything._

His breath caught in his throat as soon as the ramp was lowered, shaking the frame of the ship and Alex’s bones right along with it. And, seconds later, he heard it.

_The steps of the Republic troops._

It was not hard to keep still in that moment. Fear gripped him, petrifying him, turning his whole body and soul to _ice._

_It wasn’t a full day ago that the clones turned on them._

Only twenty hours ago, Alex had witnessed these comrades turn around and _kill people they stood beside;_ as if their loyalty and allegiance had flipped as easily as a coin.

He gripped his lightsaber through the cloth of Willie’s shirt. His heart pressed against his ribs. The amount of fear coursing through his veins made him feel dizzy.

_Willie was alone with them._

Willie was alone with _murderers_ and _it was terrifying._ He wouldn’t wish that fate in anybody, but especially not Willie — especially not this pilot who had promised to bring him somewhere safe — not this pilot with a kind heart and a will of iron and—

“Yep! Sure. Right this way.”

That was Willie’s voice, so faint and yet still so clear. 

Alex strained his ears to hear something more — anything more to calm his nerves. He wanted to hear _everything_ and be ready to _help_ because—

He wasn’t going to let anyone else get hurt. 

_He wasn’t._

The footsteps grew louder — almost as loud as his pounding heart. Alex’s mouth was dry and palms clammy. With each step echoing above him, his chest pressed to the metal floor, and his fingers shook, and his thoughts swirled.

Then, the footsteps halted _right above him._

Alex’s eyes slid shut as horror dug into his limbs.

“Sorry about the mess. I, uh… was in a rush earlier.” It was Willie speaking again, his voice still chipper and unwavering. He could tell which set of footsteps belonged to him — they were lighter than the other four, and always on the move. He was nervous and pacing. “Uh, do what you gotta do, I guess. I have a few deliveries I need to make soon, but—”

“You came from Coruscant, yes?”

“Oh. Haha. Yeah. Yep, I left Coruscant a few hours ago, right before the ports closed—”

“You exited the atmosphere at hour 0052, correct?”

“Sounds about right, I guess. Ports closed at 0100, so…”

“And you commenced take-off at what time?”

“Uh. I don’t know.” Willie’s footsteps faltered. Alex cringed. “Maybe 0045? I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention to time, you know?”

There was a long pause.

Alex’s fingers curled around the hilt of his lightsaber. Plans rushed through his mind. He could cut through the metal above him easily and take out the troopers before they had time to pull the triggers on their blasters, but—

“Yeah,” Willie continued, more forceful. “It was 0044 when I decided I needed to leave Coruscant. I had sixteen minutes to make it off-planet before the shut-down happened.” He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. “Like I said, I have a few deliveries to make, so—”

“It took you sixteen minutes to make it off-planet?” The trooper that spoke sounded accusatory, and Alex instantly knew why. “That’s an impressive time for a ship like this.”

Willie snorted. “Thank you. I guess you can say that I’m a good pilot.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.” 

The air seemed too thin. 

Alex couldn’t breathe. 

It was like he said back when he first met Willie — a single pilot alone wouldn’t have been able to make it off Coruscant in that time. They needed _two_ pilots to do that job. 

_They were caught._ There was no other explanation for the trooper’s statement — he knew the truth.

_They were going to die._

“What’s your name again, boy? Name and call sign.”

“William. Phantom Rho for Rimma Trading.”

 _“Full_ name, boy.”

“I told you, my name is William. _Just_ William. No last name.” There was a sharp edge to his voice. It put a little bit of air back in Alex’s lungs. 

“Let me get this straight, _William._ You’re telling me that you piloted this ship from the spaceport to orbit in under sixteen minutes? By yourself? No co-pilot, no droids, no crew?”

“Listen, you can check wherever you want on this ship, I don’t care, but I’d appreciate it if you don’t insult my piloting abilities. Please. I clearly got off Coruscant before the blockade launched because I’m here, and I’m the _only_ one here.” He let out a forced laugh. “I’m a _damn good pilot._ Check the comm logs from Rimma; I was twenty-five hours out from Abregado-Rae when I was told to land in twenty hours. I wouldn’t have made that flight if I wasn’t a good pilot.” His voice softened. “I’m telling the truth, you know. I don’t have any reason to lie.”

“I guess we’ll see about that, won’t we?” The trooper’s voice had turned venomous. Alex’s eyes shot open. It took everything in him not to do _something_ because _they were losing their upper hand—_ “CU-9127, commence life-form sweep. Let’s see how many life-forms are _really_ on board.”

Shit.

Above him, Willie went still. Alex wanted to scream. Panic flared in his chest, nearly making him see stars.

_Shit, shit, shit—_

“Oh, that won’t be necessary, is it?” Willie asked, his voice losing the confidence it held earlier. He cleared his throat. “Sir, I mean. It isn’t necessary, _sir._ You can see it’s just me here and—”

“By decree of the Galactic Empire, we are to thoroughly search every vessel to have touched down on Coruscant, using any means necessary.”

Willie let out a forced laugh. “But, come on. Is it necessary? I have cargo that _really_ needs to—”

“Didn’t you hear, _William Nolastname?_ We are looking for traitors of the Emperor. This is _serious_ business — more serious than whatever cargo you have on board. Am I clear? CU-9127, ready?”

“Ready, sir.”

He needed to do something — anything.

Alex blew out a long breath and planted his palms on either side of his body, seeking out something to _ground him_ when it felt as though the floor had been ripped out from right under his feet. The galaxy was spinning around him faster than he could process, and his thoughts were flying at lightspeed, and his heart was _pounding,_ and—

_It didn’t matter._

_It couldn’t matter._

His fingers pressed into the solid metal beneath him.

_Breathe._

_Just breathe._

He forced his thoughts to stop spinning and his body to stop shaking.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

_Focus._

His mind was a mess, between the fear making his thoughts spiral and the pain in the Force making everything seem blurred.

_In and out._

_In and—_

Alex thought of the life-forms on board. Six of them. He could feel them through the Force, all six glowing balls of warmth, just beyond the touch of his fingertips. They thrummed with a pulse, so bright and brilliant. He knew this was what the life-form detector would see; the four troopers in formation near the pantry, and Willie standing near the couch, and Alex right below.

_So bright. So vibrant. So visible._

It took everything in Alex to warp the matter of the galaxy around him, cloaking his life-force in what felt like an impenetrable blanket. The small metal compartment that he was stashed in suddenly felt _burning,_ with sweat trickling down his neck, and the air sticking to his tongue, and his clothes clinging to his skin.

And, between it all, was the terror twined with the Force itself — all the pain and suffering across the galaxy — all the loss and the fear — _all of it threatening to rip him down to his roots,_ all of it pulling at his bones and trying to shake his focus, all of it—

Focus.

Focus.

Focus—

“Life-form scan complete, sir. Five life-forms on-board of Phantom Rho for Rimma Trading.”

There was a distinct click from above as the life-form scanner was powered down. Alex let out a shuddering breath. He sank back, his body molding to the metal floor, and he gasped for air.

There was a long pause above him. Alex blinked the sweat from his eyes and tried to silence his breaths to be able to hear _something._

“See?” Willie said, his voice still not holding that same sureness he had earlier. “You four troopers and me. _Five._ I told you that I piloted this ship alone.”

“That you did,” the reply came stiffly. “Well, then, Captain William, I must admit that I’m impressed by your piloting abilities. Not many could pilot a ship as swiftly as you must.”

“Oh. Ha. Yeah. Thanks. Cool.” Willie cleared his throat. “So… are you guys gonna sweep my vessel? Or am I good to… go?”

“Just a few more questions. Captain William, outside. CU-0323, CU-9127 — sweep the vessel for any contraband.”

With that, the group left the living quarters, and Alex’s hand left the side of his lightsaber. Footsteps retreated, taking Willie and two troopers beyond what he could hear.

That was close.

Too close.

Alex pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, trying to stem the headache brewing. He felt sick. He felt _suffocated._

That was almost the end. If that hadn’t worked — if he hadn’t been able to cloak his life-form in time — then everything would have been for nothing.

He needed to get out; out of the metal ceiling, out of the ship, out of the _planet._

But he couldn’t, not with troopers sweeping the ship beneath him, _looking for him._

_So Alex waited._

He waited, and waited, and waited, and—

By the time Willie was piloting the ship out of the spaceport, both of his legs had fallen asleep and his neck was cramping, but _he didn’t care._ They _did_ it. Willie’s incredibly ridiculous plan of _hiding between the floors_ worked and now—

Now, they were on their way to Corellia.

_Alex was on his way to the next phase in his plan._

A plan that was not truly formed, yet, but _still._ He was alive and that was all that mattered.

Alex and Willie met each other in the cargo bay. _Force,_ Alex wasn’t sure how he was even able to smile after the absolute _horrible day_ he had, but—

 _Willie was beaming,_ and it was hard not to smile back.

“We did it!” The pilot rushed up to him as soon as both of his feet were on the floor, and he flung his arms around Alex’s shoulders. Alex stiffened under the touch. Willie pulled back abruptly, his smile holding strong. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to—” He slapped him on the shoulder before putting several paces between them. “I’m just happy we’re both alive!”

“Me too.”

_And it was the truth._

Alex hadn’t just been scared for himself back there, he’d been scared for Willie, too.

“I thought we were done for,” Willie admitted. “They started to do a life-form scan and I was already trying to remember where I kept my old blaster for pirates, but the scan came back with five life-forms. It _missed you_ completely, Alex. It was like a miracle or something.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed slowly, “or something.”

“I don’t know how or why, but I honestly don’t care.” Willie glanced up towards the hidden chamber above them. “I didn’t think metal could disrupt a life-form scan like that, but… maybe we got lucky with the way the waves hit?” When Alex didn’t respond, Willie addressed him again. ”How was it? Too cramped?”

“I can’t feel my legs.”

Willie snorted. “I couldn’t feel my _face_ up there, I was so nervous.” He blew out a long breath and shoved his hands into his pockets. “But we did it. I set course for Corellia. Nav’s telling me it’ll be two weeks before we approach.”

_Two weeks._

Two weeks was a long time to be trapped in a tin can with a stranger.

“We’ll have to land to refuel,” Alex pointed out. With hyperspace travel, they could’ve made it to Corellia in one go, no problem, but _travelling through realspace was a whole different beast._ “Probably a few times, too.”

Willie’s eyebrows shot up in a flash and an easy grin settled on his face. “Ah, but you don’t know what I’m transporting.” He gestured to the bay they stood in, filled with dozens of crates. “I’m supposed to bring this fuel to one of Rimma’s warehouses further out in the mid-rim. It’s why I was on Coruscant — I needed to pick it up.”

If Willie was digging for the reason Alex was on Coruscant, he didn’t make it obvious. His expression was impassive and his limbs loose, as if this conversation was the easiest thing in the world.

“I’ve refueled without landing before,” Willie continued. “It’s difficult, but we can do it with two of us. It’ll save on time, not having to land.” He glanced at Alex out of the corner of his eye. “And your legs won’t have to fall asleep again.”

“So… ten days?”

“Ten days.”

Awkwardness enveloped them. Neither of them knew what to say next. Alex barely knew him, after all. _Yeah,_ he saved his life a few times now, but they hadn’t spoken about much outside of remodeling the ship and bandaging wounds.

“So.” Willie scuffed his shoe against the floor. “Do you play Dejarik?”

* * *

“—and that’s why I sleep with _two_ pillows and not one, because my _neck—”_

Alex stared blankly at Willie.

_He never knew someone could talk so passionately about absolutely nothing._

“—but, you know, it’s not _that_ bad because once I lost the second pillow for like, I donno, a week? And I still—”

Alex nodded along, as if he understood what the pilot was talking about.

They sat across from each other at the Dejarik table. Alex was never a huge fan of holochess because he never took the time to really dig into the rules, but… this _had_ to be against some rule, right? Willie’s elbows were propped up on the table, mid-way through the hologram chess pieces, and his hands were flying _everywhere_ as he told a story.

And then another story.

_And then another story._

Alex wasn’t complaining though. Willie was a good storyteller and he spoke with so much fire about _everything_ — even pillows. 

But Alex could see the true intentions.

Willie used the veil of storytelling as a distraction.

Alex had been watching how he played holochess, trying to pin down his exact strategy. It wasn’t much different from war in that way; with trying to analyze your enemy and anticipate their strikes before they knew it themselves. 

Willie was focused. He took risks — even unnecessary ones. His mind was always working, even when he was five minutes deep into a story about an animal he found living in the cargo hold three months ago.

It was endearing. The passion. The fire. The openness.

And it was working too, because Willie was _winning._

“Okay. Your go.” Willie leaned back in his seat as soon as he finished speaking and stretched his hands behind his head, as if _he_ had been waiting all this time for _Alex_ to go.

Alex leaned forward, examined the board, and moved his piece.

“Hm. Interesting choice, interesting choice.” Willie rejoined him at the board, amused. “I mean, _I_ wouldn’t have moved that piece to expose, uh… certain _important_ pieces, but you do you, man.”

“I’m not that great at this, you know.” Alex rested his chin on his hand and examined the board again. He barely had the simplest grasp at the point of the game, never mind the strategies and rules that Willie seemed to have down. “I’m supposed to be protecting something?”

Willie hesitated, his hand mid-way over the board already. Their eyes locked. Then, he laughed, and drew his hand back.

“You’ve never played before, have you.”

“A few times.”

“Didn’t you play this as a kid? Like… there were holochess championships at academies across the galaxy. Weren’t you forced to compete in them by that one teacher that hated teaching instead of… I don’t know, actually learning from them or reading from textbooks?”

Alex was sure Willie’s experience was one that many children had across the galaxy, but—

_Not him._

His childhood was different than most.

Instead of playing Dejarik at school, he was training to fight wars and keep peace across the galaxy.

Instead of playing with friends and reading from textbooks, he was training with fellow Younglings and Padawans, preparing to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them against enemies.

Instead of being a child, he was training to be a Jedi.

Alex cleared his throat and pulled back. “I guess I must’ve been sick those days.” He desperately changed the subject. “You mentioned pillows. What about the blankets? They’re _everywhere.”_

It was true, even if the question was used as a distraction. Scattered around the _Phantom_ was numerous blankets. Alex had noticed the large stack on the couch on his first day on the ship, and he’d noticed them popping up in other places ever since. There was one in the cockpit, one in the cargo hold, more in the linen drawer Willie had pointed out to him.

“Oh! Yeah. Blankets. You know, man? _Blankets.”_

Alex did not know.

“Blankets?”

“They’re just so cozy. They’re like little portable hugs.” Willie sunk back into his seat. Alex liked how easy smiles came to him. “I’m usually out here all alone, you know? So… blankets.”

“Oh. Cool.”

_Oh._

_Wait._

That was sad.

Did Willie just say he kept blankets around his ship so he could replicate a feeling of a hug?

Willie must’ve seen how Alex’s expression fell as soon as the true meaning of his statement hit him, and he hastily continued speaking. “And I like to keep it cold on the _Phantom._ It saves energy and fuel. It’s not just about lacking physical contact and social interactions with people. Ha ha. That would be weird.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure… Weird.”

Willie turned back to the board. Alex’s head sunk into his hands.

_Why was he so awkward?_

_Force, help him._

Alex cleared his throat and tried again. “So. You’re out here alone most of the time? No crew? No droid? Why?”

Willie didn’t look up from the board. “I’ve been alone most of my life. It’s easier that way. Crews… _complicate_ things.” His eyes flashed to Alex’s. “Not _you,_ though. I just mean long-time crews. It just gets complicated with which jobs we’re going to take, and who gets what cut of the money, and how often will we have to stop for supplies, and who’s turn is it to clean the kitchen, and ‘why is your stuff taking up the whole cabin, Willie, I almost died on your board!’ If it’s just me, I can just go, get the job done, and move on.”

He didn’t know Willie well, but Alex knew him well enough to know he was a social creature. Knowing he spent so much time alone felt _wrong._ Who did he play Dejarik with? Who did he tell stories about pillows and blankets and birds to?

“What about you?” Willie pressed. “You know all about me, but all I know is your name.” He hesitated. “Or— I mean— I know you’re trying to hide, so I get it if—”

“I was never alone before.” The words were out before he could even have a chance to stop them. A wave of heaviness followed — the exact feelings that he had been running from so successfully by losing himself in Willie’s stories. He swallowed thickly. “I grew up with a lot of people around me. My friends… I spent every day with them as a kid. I haven’t seen most of them in a really long time.”

Because they grew up.

They grew up, and began fighting wars, and leading armies, _and now they were dead._

Alex felt something drain from his body, leaving him cold.

“And my—” _my Master,_ he wanted to say, but he couldn’t because it would give too much away. “—my teacher, she was as close to being family as anyone could get. She took care of me. Practically raised me.” He laughed, dry and bitter. “And when I wasn’t with her, I was with—”

_The clones._

The same clones that turned on the Jedi — those were his _people._ He fought every battle with them at his side. He strategized with them, and protected them, and _loved them,_ and—

“Doesn’t matter.” Alex cleared his throat and blinked furiously, desperate to get rid of the burning tears gathering. 

Willie watched him closely for a long moment before he spoke. “I guess we’re opposites then. In that way, at least. I’ve been on my own for as long as I could remember, other than when I was working under Caleb. And you… you’ve been with people.” Willie propped his chin on his hand and lifted an eyebrow. “Although, I wouldn’t go so far to say that you’re _alone_ right now. I’m here!”

Alex wasn’t listening, not really.

His thoughts were swirling. 

His mind had been plunged back into darkness. 

All those feelings he was so desperate to run from — they were hitting him full force. 

_He couldn’t breathe._

He couldn’t think beyond Master Harrison — the woman who raised him since he was a child, the woman who taught him and protected him, the woman he left behind in the wreckage of the Temple.

He couldn’t think beyond Luke — someone he considered a brother as they grew up together in the Temple, someone who went into the field _months_ ago and he never heard from since, someone he didn’t have time to think about until the very moment that Luke was gone.

He couldn’t think beyond Bobby — a friend as close as Luke was, a friend that he saw _fall_ in the Temple, a friend that he didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to and never would.

Alex stood abruptly.

The Dejarik game flickered off, painting the room in darkness.

“I— I—” He couldn’t form words, not even with Willie looking at him with so much concern, not even when Alex _knew_ he was waiting for an explanation. “I don’t know— I…”

“It’s okay,” Willie said. Somehow, he didn’t think he was just assuring Alex about shutting off the game. _There was a double meaning there,_ but Alex was too consumed by grief to begin to process. “I’m tired anyway, so…” Willie stood slowly, as if not to startle him. “Do you want me to make you something? I have tea, or—”

“No.” That much, he could choke out. “Sorry, but I… I think I need to be alone for a second. I just—”

“No need to be sorry. I get it. We all need a little space,” he assured him. Willie offered him a smile before backing away. “Goodnight, Alex. And, uh… if you need anything…”

He left the statement open, but the remainder was implied.

_You know where to find me._

With that, Willie headed to the back bunks, leaving Alex alone.

Alone with his thoughts, shrouded by darkness, haunted by the past.

He sunk to the couch and blew out a long breath.

If this was what he wanted — to be alone — then why did it feel so wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	4. CHAPTER IV: THE PHANTOM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: this chapter has more violence than the first few chapters, and this will be a warning that is kept for the next few chapters. Just a heads up!

Alex woke suddenly, his scream being stifled only at the last second.

The world came into focus slowly, as if he was peering through a foggy window. Really, it felt like he was looking into two worlds at once. He could see the reflection of the dashboard lights on the glass. 

_ That _ was what was right in front of him.

It was the controls of the  _ Phantom. _

But overlaid was the nightmare he’d broken free from — or, rather, what he  _ thought  _ he broke free from. 

_ Fire. Screaming. Betrayal.  _

The image of bolts of energy hitting Master Plo Koon’s ship, the image of it falling from the sky, the feeling of darkness washing across his life-force—

Alex blinked and gasped, willing the nightmare to fade.

_ It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. _

Except, was it?

He focused on the kaleidoscope of colours, painting away blackness of space, and he breathed. When his heart was settled back in his chest and his hands stopped shaking, Alex’s head connected with the headrest and his hands went limp against the rough cloth of the co-pilot seat, suddenly feeling too exhausted to move.

He didn’t mean to fall asleep. He didn’t  _ want  _ to fall asleep because he knew this was going to happen. He knew his night would be plagued with nightmares of what happened only days ago; it was why he kept himself busy through the nights and the days they had spent in space thus far.

_ Alex didn’t want to relive that. _

Not now. Not ever. 

Not through nightmares nor memories.

He swallowed thickly and allowed his eyes to slide closed. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, he  _ knew  _ this was not simply a nightmare.

_ It was a memory.  _

Not his own, but of someone else out there in the galaxy. Force visions were tricky that way, with memories from the past and future all weaved together. And in sleep, he couldn’t keep those walls up, the ones he so desperately built to keep these exact things  _ out. _

Despite having the memory of fire raging around him fresh on his mind, he was  _ cold.  _ So, utterly, bitterly  _ cold. _

Alex reached across the cockpit and grabbed a blanket. Maybe Willie was onto something when he said blankets brought him a sense of comfort because,  _ as soon as  _ Alex draped it across his body, his shoulders relaxed the slightest bit.

“It’s fine,” Alex told himself. His gaze swept across the controls. “I’m fine.”

To keep the snapping jaws of dread and grief off his heels, he turned to the navigation system and busied himself with resetting the projections. If he didn’t have time to think — if he didn’t have time to fall asleep — then he wouldn’t have to deal with this.

With a newfound resolve, Alex let out the breath he was holding and, along with it, all of his built up emotions.

No pain. No fear. No grief.  _ Nothing. _

It was better this way. It was safer, according to the Jedi Masters.

All he had to do was release his emotions into the galaxy, and he would be okay.

_ Release, release, release. _

* * *

Willie was staring at him.

_ Full on staring at him. _

Alex swallowed his sip of milk and lifted an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Nothing, man.” He turned back around and continued to wash his plate from breakfast. “I just… are you okay? You seem out of it.”

“You were the one staring at me.”

“You were the one that completely missed what I asked them.” Alex frowned, but didn’t reply. “I was just saying that I’m surprised you were already awake when I got up. You know you can sleep in, right?”

“I wanted to check the navs.”

Willie turned around completely at that. He didn’t look too impressed. “I know. I saw the logs when I was up there earlier.” He drummed his fingers along the counter behind him and let out a sigh. “Okay, I don’t want to be pushy because, like, I get it. We’re not friends. We’re just temporary roommates, or… shipmates, but  _ dude.  _ You’re not sleeping well, are you? Is it too cold? I can—”

“No. No, I’m fine. It’s fine.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Alex didn’t crack.

“Alright. If you say so.” Willie turned back around and continued to scrub his dishes. “I just… you should try and sleep. Sleep is important. We have eight days until we reach Corellia and, I don’t know what you have planned after that, but it’s probably a bit more action packed than sitting in a ship with nothing to do like right now.” There was a pause. “I  _ know  _ it’s none of my business, but I can  _ see  _ you’re tired and upset and—”

“I’m fine.” Maybe his words were a bit sharper than he meant to make them, but  _ he really didn’t want to have this conversation.  _ He was having a hard enough time trying to convince himself that he was fine — he didn’t need Willie trying to bring down those lies. “Okay? I’m fine.”

Willie held up his hands in surrender. “Okay. You’re fine. Sorry for asking.”

Alex grit his teeth and stood up from the table, taking his mug with him. Without another word, Alex brushed past Willie and began his descent down the ramp towards the cargo hold.

_ He wasn’t mad at him.  _ He wasn’t. He was just  _ tired  _ and  _ done  _ and—

Angry.

He was angry.

Not at Willie, but at the galaxy and _ at himself.  _

He was mad that the Republic had fallen, mad that someone he looked up to fell to the dark side, mad that everyone he knew was gone, mad that the whole galaxy had shifted in the blink of an eye, mad that Willie felt the need to apologize to him when  _ Alex  _ was the one lying, mad that he couldn’t  _ sleep  _ because he was going to get thrown to the flames again, mad that—

_ He was angry with everything. _

The emotions were gone as soon as Alex named them, sending them spiralling into the galaxy. He couldn’t be angry because  _ anger led to the dark side.  _ He saw it with his own eyes, with Master Skywalker’s fall, and he was taught it ever since he was a child.

Alex slumped to the ground between two crates.

He wasn’t angry.

He wasn’t.

* * *

Alex was tempted.

It was dangling  _ right in front of his nose,  _ taunting him, beckoning him, practically  _ begging  _ him to cave.

It was the lack of sleep that was making him desperate. It had to have been. Or maybe it was because everywhere he went, he felt cold and scared. Or maybe it was because he knew that, as soon as he closed his eyes, Force visions and memories would rush through him like white water rapids.

Did it matter?  _ Did it matter why he was tempted?  _ Did it matter why he was having to fight  _ so freaking hard  _ to put this thought to rest, ignore the way it pulled at his gut, forget the way he kept thinking of him.

Alex’s head hit the side of the cargo hold, the thump reverberating up the metal wall.

He needed to stop thinking about Willie. 

Or, not  _ Willie,  _ but his life-form, really. 

He couldn’t get it out of his mind — the way he seemed to glow with the power of a sun — the way his life-force rivalled the stars in intensity and brightness. Ever since he  _ felt it  _ while on Abregado-rae, while trying to conceal himself from the life-form scan, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Three miserable days, spent  _ thinking about Willie’s life-force. _

He was tempted to let the walls drop, just for a bit, just to be able to acknowledge the warmth that came with a life-force.  _ With Willie’s life-force.  _ Alex was so used to being surrounded by life and now—

Now, there was nothing. With him blocking out the Force, he felt  _ nothing.  _ No pain, no suffering, no deaths across the galaxy, yes, but also—

No warmth. No lights. No life.

_ Nothing. _

Alex turned his lightsaber around a few times in his hands, trying to busy his mind. 

He couldn’t let the Force flow through him —  _ he couldn’t  _ — not when he knew it would bring him right back to the edge of a spiral. He didn’t want those Force visions and those feelings of suffering, not even if it meant he could surround himself with  _ life  _ again — not even if he knew it would stop him from feeling so empty and so alone.

He couldn’t.

But…

_ He could go see him. _

That was close enough, wasn’t it? He’d still be shut off from the Force and there would always be a part of himself that was cold because of that, but—

Willie was still a light.

Alex could feel it, just being beside him. He radiated warmth, and light, and  _ comfort —  _ just in the way he talked, the way he moved, the way he laughed. It was so easy to get lost in his presence, it was easy to get lost in his stories, it was easy to  _ breathe  _ with him.

_ One didn’t have to be connected to the Force to feel that. _

Once again, Alex would blame it on his lack of sleep.

Without thinking about it a second longer, he pushed himself up from between the crates, stashed his lightsaber back in his holster, and bundled the ends of his blanket in his arms to make the journey to the living quarters.

There, he found Willie working on a project at the table. Every light in the cabin was turned on and pointed at him, making Alex wince and stumble the slightest bit. He must’ve made a sound because, as soon as he came up, Willie’s hands paused in mid-work and he turned in his direction.

Alex half expected awkwardness. At the least, he expected Willie to be cold towards him — after all, their last conversation ended with Alex snapping at him and leaving. But—

“Hey.” Willie grinned, wide and full. “What did I tell you? Blankets, huh? They’re the best!”

Already, Alex could feel some of the chill melting away.

“Yeah,” he agreed, lifting what he had in his arms, “they’re pretty great.”

Willie patted the couch next to him. “Come here, dude, you  _ have  _ to try one of my favourite ones. Be prepared though because it’s  _ heavy.  _ I got it off some lady who lived on Kef Bir, and she claimed that it kept her warm even when she lived on the shore during the cold seasons.” Alex sat down on the couch gingerly, watching as Willie raced to the cupboard and pulled out a thick blanket. He struggled to keep it all in his arms between the size and the weight of it. “I’ve had it for like, I donno, five years? It’s the best. Here.”

The wind was knocked out of Alex as soon as Willie tossed it on him.

It took a second for Alex to regain his senses. The blanket had knocked him flat on his back and smothered him because—

“What is this thing!?” Alex struggled to get his arms untangled to lift it off his chest.  _ “Force!” _

Willie let out a laugh and came to help him. “Sorry! Sorry. You good?”

Alex sat up and sucked in a deep breath. Maybe it was a little dramatic, but it was worth it to see the corners of Willie’s lips quirk up just the slightest bit.

“There are weights in it to make it heavier,” Willie continued to explain. “It’s not too much, right?”

“Are you telling me that I need to start doing push ups?”

He snorted. “Hilarious. But I’m actually talking about your side.” With the blanket adjusted to only lay across Alex’s legs, Willie fell to the couch beside him. “How’s it holding up, by the way? Should I officially switch my profession from pilot to medic?”

Alex had almost forgotten all about the blaster wound on his side.

It was the least traumatic and painful thing that happened to him that week and, really, it felt like a long, distant memory.

“Oh. Uhm. Yeah. It healed fine.” 

It was the truth. 

With the bacta patch and Willie’s bandaging, it had mostly healed within the first day on the ship. It wasn’t perfect — every once and a while, Alex would get a sharp jolt from his ribs, and there would be scarring,  _ but  _ it was better than the state he had been in when they first met.

“Cool. Cool.” 

Willie reclined back on the couch, never breaking their gaze. Alex half expected him to return to whatever he had been doing before he arrived, but he seemed entirely content to just... be with him. 

It was strange.

Willie nodded at the blanket. “So. Thoughts? Comments? Complaints? Questions?”

Alex laughed. “No, I mean— it’s nice. Heavy. Not practical if something were to happen and…”  _ and I had to jump up to go — jump up to fight — jump into battle.  _ Alex cleared his throat and pulled away from that train of thought. “I like it. You were right.”

“Hm? About what?”

“About blankets being like little portable hugs.” Alex lifted up the corner of the heavy blanket. “Like, look at this thing. I feel like I’m being hugged by a Wookiee right now.”

His response was exactly what Alex had hoped for. Willie threw his head back with a loud laugh. It was impossible not to smile in return.

_ Willie might’ve been right about the blankets, but Alex was right about Willie. _

He didn’t need to Force to feel the warmth radiating off of him.

Alex relaxed into the couch and pulled the blankets tighter around his shoulders, content to watch Willie as he launched into one of his stories.

* * *

He couldn’t breathe.

_ He couldn’t breathe. _

Alex was plastered to the ground, his limbs pressed to his body tightly, his chest heavy, his head clouded. He gasped for breath and struggled, trying with everything in him to break free—

_ He couldn’t breathe. _

_ Couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t— _

Instinctively, he reached out with the Force and  _ pushed.  _ The weight was lifted from his chest and his arms were freed, and he  _ gasped. _

_ And gasped, and gasped, and— _

He was lying flat on a floor somewhere in the dark, head dizzy and heart racing.

_ The floor. _

He was on the floor.

Alex blinked a few times. Reality came rushing back.

_ He was on the  _ Phantom.  _ He was in space. He was with a pilot. He was safe. _

It felt so real. The terror in his veins. The screams in his ears. The pain in his chest.

Alex’s hand found its way to press against his chest, right above his heart. There were no blaster wounds, no weights, no pain. All he could feel was his rapid heartbeat beneath his palm and the warmth of his skin through the fabric of his shirt.

There, several feet away from him, was the weighted blanket Willie had tossed on him all those hours ago. He must’ve got tangled under it in his sleep and dreamed of being suffocated in response.

Because…

His hand drooped to his side, his fingers brushing against the bandage under his shirt.

Alex had been shot in the side. Not the chest. Whatever he just experienced — being shot in the chest, dying, suffocating — it was just a nightmare.

_ Just a nightmare. _

Right? It couldn’t have been another Force vision, could it? They were supposed to be  _ rare,  _ and yet—

_ This felt like another one,  _ the second one this week.

He had been back in the Temple, a lightsaber in hand, crouched low to the ground as the Republic troopers turned on them. Even the smallest details on the Temple felt real — the way the ground reflected the light, the way a warm wind whispered through the open halls, the way the running water from Room of a Thousand Fountains could be heard in the distance. 

It felt like he was back at the Temple during the attack, back where everyone he had ever known had fallen.

_ It felt so real;  _ the Temple, the fear, the pain that exploded from his chest upon impact.

Except, it couldn’t have been real, because he wasn’t on the ground floor when the attack happened. It couldn’t have been real because the lightsaber in his hand in his dream wasn’t his. It couldn’t have been real because  _ he was still alive. _

_ Those  _ weren’t his memories.

_ They were memories that belonged to someone else. _

It didn’t feel right, watching someone’s last moments. He couldn’t even see their face. He couldn’t begin to guess who’s last stand he had just experienced. And, worst of all, he couldn’t go back in time to fix it.

_ Alex was stuck.  _ All he could do was watch these horrifying moments, unable to change the conclusion, unable to help.

_ The only thing he could do was watch. _

Alex didn’t feel right; he felt cold, and empty, and  _ scared. _

He glanced towards the back bunks, where Willie was sleeping.

A beat, then—

He looked away.

_ Force,  _ he was terrified.

* * *

“You’re holding steady,” Alex reported, his eyes locked on the screen along the side of the cargo hold. “Oxygen levels are doing good.”

“They  _ better  _ be.” Willie’s voice was raspy with static over the comms. “How much time left?”

“Uh… So… Bad news. You have a quarter hour until you’re out.”

Willie let out an exasperated sound. “That’s not ‘doing good,’ hotdog. I’m out here on  _ fumes.”  _

Alex hated to admit that Willie was right. 

_ He might’ve been lying, just the slightest bit.  _ It was for Willie’s sake, really, because he didn’t want him to worry. The more worried Willie got, the more oxygen he used, and… that wasn’t a good thing at these levels.

His heart had been pounding in his chest for the last half hour, as soon as Willie had slipped on his helmet and attached himself to the oxygen system on the ship. They both knew the oxygen was running low. Alex didn’t know just  _ how low  _ it was until Willie was already out there, attempting to fuel up the  _ Phantom. _

“You’ll be fine,” Alex told him. “I promise.”

_ That  _ wasn’t a lie.

Alex was willing to do anything to keep Willie safe because  _ nobody was going to get hurt around him,  _ never again, not while he could help it. He’d watched too many people die — he had watched too much pain and suffering — he wasn’t going to stand to see any more of it ever again.

“Listen, you can have my ship if I croak out here, okay?”

Alex’s grip tightened on the metal poles framing the monitoring system.

“Hilarious,” he said dryly, his stomach turning. “You aren’t going to die, Willie. We’re not anywhere  _ near  _ that being a possibility.”

“I’m preparing. Just in case. You never know.”

Alex didn’t respond. He hated just how right Willie was. Nobody ever really knew when death would finally catch up to them. Nobody ever really knew when their last day was going to be.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” he said, his voice wavering the slightest bit. This conversation was too close to the nightmares plaguing him, both day and night. “You aren’t disposable and you shouldn’t talk like your death would mean nothing.”

He didn’t mean to say that last part, but he did, and it was too late to take it back.

Willie’s voice came in again, lower and slower than before. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Alex rubbed his forehead. “No, don’t be, I’m just—”

“No, you’re right, Alex. It’s not cool.” 

Willie fell silent.

_ Awkward. _

Alex glanced towards the airlock, trying to spot him out there. The only indication that Willie was still alive was from the movement of the tether that tied his waist to the interior of the airlock. Every few seconds, the rope would shift and slacken, over and over.

Well. At least he was still moving.

Willie was the one to break the silence. “Listen, so I heard some chatter on Abregado-rae the other day… I’m glad that you convinced me to run, you know.”

“Huh?”

“I’m glad you convinced me to get off Coruscant when you did,” he clarified. 

Alex had a bad feeling creeping up his spine, because they couldn’t be having this conversation —  _ they couldn’t,  _ but—

“Oh,” he managed to say. His mouth refused to work properly. “Uhm. Why’s that?”

“Some of the other pilots were talking at the spaceport. Apparently, the planet is in uproar right now. Civilians are dead. The Jedi have been marked as traitors and most of them are dead.” He paused. “That’s what they were looking for, you know. Jedi. They’re looking for escaped Jedi.”

Alex had to grip the metal railing to keep himself from falling over. His legs shook beneath him. His vision spun. His mouth refused to work.

_ No. _

_ No, no, no, no— _

“It’s strange,” Willie continued. His voice sounded too light — too impassive — too  _ normal  _ to be talking about this. How could he talk about this like it meant nothing when, to Alex, it meant  _ everything? _ “I just… I don’t know if I fully believe everything they’re saying. I just don’t see how things could change so quickly. How could they go from fighting the Clone Wars for the Republic to betraying the Republic? I just—” He paused. “Never mind.”

Alex had to force air in and out of his chest. 

He couldn’t  _ breathe. _

Suddenly, it was like he was back in his nightmare. Unable to move. Unable to breathe. Unable to speak. 

_ Drowning, drowning, drowning— _

“No,” he croaked out. “I... yeah.”

“Yeah,” Willie echoed, his voice sounding sad. “I mean, I would never  _ say  _ that because, well… the clones that swept the  _ Phantom  _ were  _ really  _ intense, you know? It’s kinda scary. But… how does it even make sense — that they were around for I don’t even know  _ how  _ long, all as a ploy to take over the Republic? I just don’t get it.”

He didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t know how to respond.

_ You’re right,  _ Alex wanted to tell him.  _ You’re right, and I can prove it because I was there.  _ **_I was there._ ** _ We didn’t betray the Republic — the Republic betrayed us. We are not the traitors. We are not the bad guys. _

But he couldn’t say that, not without revealing the truth. And the truth —  _ the truth —  _ it was something that nobody could be trusted with.

_ Not Willie. _

_ Not anyone. _

It didn’t just put himself in danger, but Willie too.

And so, Alex desperately tried to change topics.

“You still good?” Alex asked, hoping his wavering voice was hidden by static of the comms. Once again, he glanced at the monitoring system. “Your oxygen levels are—”

“Steady? I hope so, considering I’m still breathing.” Willie let out a laugh. Alex’s shoulders eased. The conversation moved along easily, as if neither of them had ever mentioned Coruscant or the Jedi. 

Alex tried his best to put his shock out of mind — tried his best to pretend the floor hadn’t been ripped out from under him — tried to pretend that he wasn’t left clinging to his last strands of composure. 

He released his emotions into the galaxy. The shock, the horror, the fear —  _ gone.  _

Alex breathed a little easier and ignored the way his gut twisted.

“I’m almost done out here too,” Willie continued. “How cold are you over there?”

With the ship being shut down completely to refuel,  _ freezing.  _ Alex could see his breath fog out in front of him with every exhale. His fingers were stiff and responded slowly to his will. A chill had taken up permanent residence in his bones.

He told Willie as much.

“Yeah, well, I’m not doing too hot out here either. And here I thought you were ice on that first day we met.”

Alex smiled the slightest bit at that, remembering that moment. It felt like it was  _ so long ago,  _ yet it was merely a week. It was startling, just how much could change in a few short days. 

“Alex, I have a very important question for you.”

That caught him off guard. He pressed the comm quickly and stumbled over his words.

“Uh, yeah, okay. Sure.”

There was a pause. Alex’s heart thudded. He racked his brain, trying to figure out exactly what Willie was talking about. Horror gripped him because—

_ Did he figure it out? _

_ Is that what he was about to ask?  _ Was he about to ask him about the Jedi? Was he—

“Have you ever had hot chocolate?”

Alex paused. Then, he laughed. He assumed the question was going to be deep and philosophical from the way he worded it, but  _ this? _

“No,” he responded, his amusement bubbling up beside his relief. “I know what it is though.”

“Ah, good. We’re having some after this. I was once with a crew that would make it  _ every day.  _ It was awesome for the first week, and then I got sick of it. It’s still nice to have when it’s cold out though.” Willie sounded amused. “Or… you know… when it’s cold inside because your engines are dead and you’re floating aimlessly through space.”

“Or that.”

The comms clicked out as they both fell silent.

Alex paced a few steps in front of the system monitor — back and forth, back and forth.

_ That felt close. _

_ Too close. _

He was glad he only had a week left with Willie. He was growing too comfortable around him. He was seconds away from slipping up and telling him the truth — just as Willie was likely only seconds away from figuring out the truth, too.

Alex vowed to himself that he would be more careful, more reserved, more vigilant.

He couldn’t slip up.

Not now.

Not ever.

“Just a few more minutes,” Willie announced. “How are the fuel levels looking?”

“Climbing.”

“Good. Do you think it’s bad I accidentally spilled some out here? Nothing bad’s going to happen, will it?”

“Uh… dude. You’re the space mechanic guy. I’m just the guy who reads the oxygen levels. Which are holding steady, by the way. Ten minutes remaining.”

“Alright, ‘guy who reads the oxygen levels,’ do you think holding my breath is a good or a bad approach? Will it save oxygen? I think—  _ oh.  _ Wait. Hold that thought.”

The comms cut out abruptly. Alex launched himself at the monitor and stared at the levels, already prepared to yank Willie back onboard himself if the  _ slightest  _ thing was going wrong, but—

“Alright, hotdog, coming to ya. Get ready for docking.”

Alex watched from the control panel as Willie pulled himself through the airlock and unhooked the tether. It was only when the airlock had closed behind him and they were a few feet apart that Willie pulled off his helmet, and—

_ Wow. _

Alex froze.

_ Willie really was beautiful. _

He looked away quickly, but the image of Willie’s helmet coming off — with his smile so wide that it hurt  _ Alex’s  _ cheeks, and his eyes sparkling enough to rival the galaxy’s sky, and his hair falling to frame his face — he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

It was just an observation — an impartial one — wasn’t it? It didn’t matter that it left him feeling breathless, did it? 

No. Of course not. 

_ Of course it didn’t matter.  _

Beings were beautiful, it wasn’t a big deal. 

_ Not a big deal at all. _

Willie was clearly oblivious to Alex’s state. He stood so close to him to peer at the system monitor that Alex could feel his breath on the side of his face.

Alex inched away.

“Looking good,” Willie observed, sounding breathless. “I think that’ll get us the rest of the way to Corellia if we’re careful. I’ll have to reroute a few things probably. Nice work, hotdog.”

Alex managed to find his voice. “I hate that nickname.”

“It fits.”

“And it was  _ you  _ who did all the work.” He glanced towards the sealed airlock, out towards the vastness of space. “How was it?”

“Let’s just say that I’m never doing that again if I don’t have to.  _ And  _ I’m investing in a new oxygen scrubber. That was too close for my liking.” Willie brushed his hands along the sides of his jumpsuit and turned fully to Alex, beaming. “What do you say to a holochess rematch and some hot chocolate? I think you’re starting to catch on.”

_ Alex idly wondered what story Willie was going to tell him today. _

* * *

They were three days out from Corellia.

They were three days out and Alex still hadn’t come up with a plan.

He had been trying his best not to think about any of it —  _ and it was working, for the most part,  _ but now—

Now, he had no clue what came next.

This was as far as he got back on Coruscant. All he cared about was getting off-planet; he didn’t care about what came after. He kept telling himself that he’d survive first and figure out the rest later.

Well,  _ now was later. _

And he had no clue what to do.

Alex thought back to his Master’s words. They were fresh in his memory, as if she just spoke them hours ago, not  _ days.  _ He could still hear the fear in her voice — the fear and the determination. It twisted his gut and made his heart stop.

_ “Carry on the Order to tell the truth, to fight for the light. Get off-planet. Trust no one. You must tell the others the truth about Skywalker and the clones; you’re the only hope those off-planet have left.” _

It wasn’t much to go on. Alex didn’t expect a full detailed plan from her — they were under attack and seconds away from dying when she gave him those rushed orders — but  _ what was he supposed to do with the instruction she did give him?  _ He didn’t want to do it wrong. He wanted to do this right — not only for the Jedi Order, but for her specifically.

It was the last mission she would ever give him.

_ He had to make her proud. _

Alex had a fairly good guess at what she wanted. She wanted the Jedi Order to stand tall. She wanted the Jedi Order to survive. She wanted the Jedi Order to last longer than any of them did — including herself — even including Alex.

He wanted that too.

Except, the Jedi Order had fallen. He’d cut himself off from the Force for this exact reason — the Jedi Order was  _ gone  _ because thousands of Jedi across the galaxy had been killed.  _ Thousands and thousands of lights were gone, and— _

He didn’t know what to do next.

If the Jedi Order was gone, what was there to do next?

Alex paused. He stared out at the stars for a long moment as the weight of the situation settled across him.

_ He was going to have to rebuild it. _

Right?

If there was no Jedi Order left to save, he was going to have to gather whatever scraps remained and  _ build all over again. _

It was overwhelming — so much so that it almost made Alex choke.

There was a quick knock on the doorframe behind him, jarring Alex from his thoughts. He quickly blinked back the tears and forced on a smile as Willie came into the cockpit.

“Hey. I thought you’d be up here.” Willie hesitated in the threshold for a moment, but ultimately decided to come in. He sank to the pilots seat and began pressing a few buttons on the dash. Alex recognized the motions — he was recalibrating the shielding system. “Don’t mind me, just gotta do a few things… I’ll be a sec.”

“You’re rerouting power away from the shields?” Alex asked, leaning forward. He chewed his lip. “Why? Isn’t that dangerous?”

Willie glanced at him, an eyebrow raised and his lips pursed. “I mean… depends on the situation. We’re all alone right now. We haven’t seen another craft in  _ days.  _ We’re wasting power  _ and fuel  _ keeping them at half-power. I usually fly with them at minimal power anyway, but that stop at Abregado-rae had me pretty spooked. We should be fine now though.”

Alex didn’t like it. 

Part of him was still expecting to  _ run.  _ He’d grown up fighting a war, he had led fleets and battalions into battles, he had been taught to never let his guard down.

And this—

_ This. _

This was the exact opposite of that. 

It was taking an unnecessary risk. It was reckless. It was the decision of an unprepared and unwise commander. It was—

It hit Alex in that moment, just how different he and Willie were. He was approaching life like it was a war —  _ because it was.  _ Willie was never on the front lines, he was never in charge of clones, he never had to run a Separatist blockade.

Alex swallowed thickly.

“Keep them up.” Willie glanced back at him, his eyebrows pushed together and his lips parted, as if he was about to speak, but— “We need to keep the shields on  _ at least  _ half-power. We  _ are  _ in a war, Willie.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Alex hoped he wouldn’t ask what he meant because he didn’t know what to say. There was no way Alex would be able to tell him that  _ he  _ was being hunted — that they were in danger because  _ he was a wanted enemy of the Empire —  _ that the shields needed to be up because  _ he had a bad feeling of what was to come. _

Luckily, he didn’t have to figure it out.

Willie nodded and leaned back in his seat. “Alright,” he conceited. “You’re right — the Separatist War  _ just  _ ended and we don’t know what’s out there. And the fuel we’re carrying is kinda really explosive, so…” He stood and stretched his arms up above his head. Alex blew out his breath and turned back to look out the window. “I’m gonna go, so… Have a good night, Alex. Get some sleep, okay?”

It was when Willie was part way out the door that Alex spoke.

“Can I ask you for advice?”

Willie froze. 

There was a long pause.

“Yeah, man. Of course. Anything.”

Alex swivelled around to look at him. Willie looked shocked — with his parted lips and wide eyes — but tried to hide it.

He debated on the best way to word it.

“I… When you don’t know what to do, how do you approach it?”

Willie’s eyebrows pushed together with confusion. “Huh. Well. I mean, it depends.” 

“Let’s say you have a big project with unclear instructions. What do you do?”

He drummed his fingers in the doorway he leaned against. “I guess… I break it down into pieces? See which bit comes first. My mom always used to tell me to do that.” Willie broke their gaze. A hesitant laugh followed. “Yeah… my mom… what did she always say? ‘The Republic was built piece by piece, planet by planet, person by person.’” He shrugged. “I guess I’d just do that. Go piece by piece.”

Alex chewed his lip and nodded absentmindedly. It wasn’t that different to the times his Master would leave him in charge of attack strategies and missions. He’d have to build a whole strategy from nothing — it would be built piece by piece, move by move, and he would hope that he was getting it right.

“Does that help?”

“Yeah. Yeah, thanks.”

Willie hesitated. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No. I just… I have a lot on my mind right now. I need to work through it.” The smile that followed came easier than the one before. “Thank you though. I appreciate your wisdom.”

He snorted. “I don’t think anyone’s ever called me wise before, but cool. There’s a first for everything.” 

Silence stretched between them.

Willie didn’t turn to leave.

Alex fidgeted with his fingers on his lap.

Finally, Willie spoke again.

“Listen, Alex… Is everything okay? Is it your side? I can take another look if it’s bothering you — I don’t know if I did everything correctly the first time, so if it’s bothering you, it won’t hurt my feelings, you know? I just— I notice you aren’t sleeping well. Or… much. Or in the bunks at all.” He rubbed his neck. “Like, yeah, we’re not close, but… I told you the first day, I’m responsible for you while you’re on my ship, and you’re worrying me.”

Alex grew rigid.

_ Oh. _

“I’ve been sleeping on the couch,” he said, and it wasn’t exactly a  _ lie.  _ It just wasn’t the whole truth. Willie was right — he hadn’t been sleeping much — but when he did, it was in the living quarters. “I like sleeping with a light on. That’s why you don’t see me in the bunks.”

Now  _ that  _ was a straight up lie.

Really, it was because he didn’t want to be by Willie at night. It was nothing against the pilot — in fact, it was the opposite. Alex  _ knew  _ that if he fell asleep, he was going to have nightmares, and he didn’t want to wake him.

It was easier to not have to explain what he was screaming about than to come up with a lie.

“Well, I don’t mind keeping lights on in the bunks,” he assured Alex.

“I, uh… also talk in my sleep. I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

Alex cringed internally. He was a horrible liar.

Willie didn’t look convinced.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Well… if there’s anything I can do to help you sleep better at night, let me know. If you want me to make you tea, I can. Read you a book? Sure. If I can do  _ anything,  _ let me know. I wanna to help you. And… I really do care about you.” After a drawn out beat, he clarified. “You are my guest, after all.”

_ That knocked the breath from Alex’s lungs. _

Once again, he would blame it on the sleep deprivation, because there was no other reasonable explanation as to why he was  _ tearing up at that.  _ Alex could barely breathe past the lump in his throat, never mind  _ speak.  _ His eyes burned with unshed tears.

“Thank you,” Alex managed to get out. He cleared his throat and turned back to the front of the ship. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, hotdog.”

Alex had to keep himself from calling out to him again.

_ The truth was, part of him was tempted to take Willie up on his offer. _

Being around Willie made everything easier. He was bright, and he was full of life, and he seemed to help keep the darkness at bay — just the slightest bit. Being around someone as happy as him made Alex feel as if everything else was just a little easier to bear.

_ But he couldn’t.  _

Alex couldn’t because he  _ refused  _ to look at Willie as anything other than his pilot. He refused to look at him as a friend, or as a companion, or as  _ anything else. _

He couldn’t.

Alex returned to the dash and busied himself with easy tasks.

* * *

Alex woke gasping.

Abruptly, he sat up and sputtered, pulling his body out of a pool of water. He choked on the liquid that had rushed up his nose and between his lips.

He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak.

Alex blinked the water from his eyes and pushed his drenched hair off his forehead as soon as he managed to stop choking. He recognized where he was immediately — it was impossible not to, with the trickle of the fountains echoing through the chamber, and the smell of fresh earth penetrating his senses, and the way the room seemed to hum with tranquility, as if the air itself was embedded with peace.

The Room of a Thousand Fountains.

It was a large hall back in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. It was a favourite place of his to meditate, as he always loved water, but—

_ Something was wrong. _

Alex pulled himself from the basin of the fountain, his robes clinging to his body and weighing him down.

He could feel it. 

Something wasn’t right.

Something was coming. 

His breath came out shallowly. His muscles were tensed and ready to spring. He stretched his senses, searching for something —  _ anything  _ — that was out of place.

He waited.

And waited, and waited, and—

Alex lunged forward, narrowly dodging a blasterbolt. He landed back in the pond on all fours. Cold water splashed across his face. His robes twisted around his legs.

_ No time. _

He was up and running before a second could pass.

_ Chaos descended around him. _

Blasters fired all around him. Screaming echoed through the chamber, replacing the serene flow of water. The scent of grass and life was replaced with putrid smoke. 

_ Something was on fire. _

Another blasterbolt came close to Alex, nearly hitting him in the side. He kept  _ stumbling  _ over the edge of his robe. Each step he took through the water felt like he was breaking through carbonite, it was so  _ slow. _

Run, run, run.

Faster, faster, faster.

He shed his robe in hope of moving quicker, but the edge of the fountain was nowhere in sight. His heart pounded so loud that it sounded like a drum, reverberating through the burning hall, echoing off the crumbling walls of the Temple.

Each move he made was based on pure instinct — or, rather, was based on the Force. He couldn’t  _ see  _ anything through the darkness, he couldn’t  _ hear  _ anything outside the screaming, he couldn’t anticipate where shots were coming from, or where to run, or—

The world fell silent.

It was as if he’d been ripped out of the scene completely and placed an entirely new world. He still stood knee-deep in the Room of a Thousand Fountains — he could still feel water lapping at his legs and pulling on his clothes — but…

_ It was silent. _

The screaming had vanished. The crackling of the distant fires were gone too; it was almost as if they were never there to begin with because Alex couldn’t smell  _ anything;  _ not smoke, not life. __

Most concerningly, the blasterbolts had stopped completely. Alex knew from experience; a silent enemy was a dangerous enemy.

He froze.

His chest heaved.

His heart raced.

Still running on pure instinct, Alex reached towards his lightsaber strapped on his hip and he ignited it. The blade burst to life, casting a magenta hue across the surface of the water. The hum of the weapon was familiar — it was as steady as a heartbeat, as warm as a life-force, and seemingly carved a pattern of comfort into his bones.

The water rose and fell across his calves, as if the fountain followed the push and pull of the moon. It didn’t feel like a fountain at all, not with the way the water moved like waves.

Alex blinked and the world came into focus.

_ An ocean. _

He was standing knee-deep in an ocean.

The fountain and Temple had faded completely, leaving him in the middle of an ocean on a planet he’d never visited.

_ His mind spun as he tried to keep up. _

Yes, it was an ocean, he was sure about it. He could feel the softness of the sand under his shoes. His heels sunk into the ground from his body weight. The water stretched as far as the horizon, reflecting the double moons in the surface alongside his magenta lightsaber.

Alex’s chest heaved. Water trickled down his neck. His blade hissed as water splashed against the overheating core.

_ It was raining? _

He let out a sound. The words that followed were uttered quietly, as to not disturb whatever peace was on this planet.

“What is going on?” 

Alex glanced up towards the sky and he immediately got soaked from the downpour. Water filled his mouth between his parted lips and flooded his vision. The rain was coming down so hard that the world was washed away with a blanket of white. The sound of the rain hitting the ground was so violent that it silenced the waves lapping at the shore.

He could hardly  _ breathe,  _ the rain was coming down so hard. Alex lifted his free hand and ducked his head, hoping to block some of the downpour, but—

_ It was as if Fate was guiding his movements.  _

“Run!  _ Run!” _

His head snapped towards the screaming. As soon as Alex turned, he was pulled to yet another world.

The ocean vanished from under him, leaving him standing on the edge of a platform. The rain was the only thing that remained. It was as ruthless as it was before, shocking the breath from his lungs, replacing all sounds with a continuous roar, and wiping away all colours and signs of life, but—

He heard someone.

_ He knew he did. _

Alex took a few steps closer and lifted his blade. Shadows stretched in front of him. 

“Hello!?  _ Hello?!  _ Anyone?”

A different voice from earlier screamed out — but it was those same words.

“Run! Run!”

Alex rushed forward, so sure he knew where the voice was coming from. He moved on instinct. His heart was in his throat. His hands shook at his sides. He was terrified and didn’t know what was going on, but  _ he knew he had to help,  _ he had to do  _ something— _

“It’s a trap!  _ Don’t—” _

A crack echoed through the night, so loud and violent that it made Alex leap into the air. His head snapped towards the sound — a sound coming in the complete opposite direction the screaming was coming in—

There.

Through the dark and through the rain, one figure stood.

_ One figure,  _ with their robe hood drawn, and a blue lightsaber humming at their side.

Alex’s breath caught in his throat. 

The ground tilted under him.

_ A Jedi. _

Another crack followed, coming from the opposite direction of the Jedi. Alex turned and—

There, another singular figure stood. They were cloaked with darkness. The only illumination came from their lightsaber at their side.

_ Their red lightsaber.  _

Shock ripped Alex’s legs out from under him. His lightsaber clattered to the ground and rolled out of sight, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t  _ breathe  _ past the fear gripping his chest. Alex stumbled back and—

_ He stumbled too far. _

A scream of shock was ripped from his lungs as he began to fall. He plummeted into the darkness, his arms flailing around him, trying to find something to grab hold of, but—

The last thing he heard was a woman screaming.

“Run!  _ Reggie, run!” _

.

“Hey! Alex! Wake up!”

He was ripped from sleep as violently as he had been ripped from the ocean.

Alex was disoriented as he woke. He bolted upright, shoving the blankets off his chest and the hands away from his arms. His chest was heaving as if he’d ran for miles, and his clothing was damp with sweat, and his ears rang from  _ something. _

_ What was it? _

Screaming. 

Screaming at the Temple.

Screaming in the rain. 

_ Screaming, always someone screaming. _

“Hey! Alex, you’re okay. It’s okay.”

The world came into sharp focus. There, beyond Alex’s reach and beyond what he could see in the dark, was Willie. He could feel his life-force through the Force, burning so fiercely that it melted through him like wax.

Alex reached towards him without a second thought.

“Willie? Wha—”

“It was a nightmare,” Willie explained, his voice soft and gentle. “But you’re okay. Alright? You’re okay.”

Finally, Alex’s fingers connected with him. Willie’s bicep was warm under his touch. It grounded him to this moment — tethered Alex to the ship — broke him free from the remaining whispers of his nightmare.

_ But it wasn’t a nightmare. _

It was a Force vision.

Alex could tell easily. The way the world had changed like smoke in the wind, the way he was thrown from vision to vision, the way he  _ saw things he shouldn’t have. _

_ The burning Temple. _

_ The lone Jedi. _

_ The screaming man and woman. _

_ The red blade. _

Willie’s hand laying across his pulled Alex from his thoughts. His mind was desperately trying to piece everything together because  _ Force visions always meant something,  _ but—

Willie came into focus as Alex’s eyes adjusted to the dark. He was kneeling right at the edge of the couch, his expression filled with concern and worry.  _ Willie was terrified for him. _ Clearly, he had moved towards him in a rush too — it looked like he just woke up; his hair had been jostled free from the bun on the top of his head and his face was lined with indents from his pillows.

_ But he was here. _

He was here, and it was exactly what Alex needed right then — something to distract him from the horror he’d been plunged into.

“Are you okay?”

Alex swallowed thickly. “I’m— yeah.”

_ It was a lie. _

Willie didn’t look amused.

He shifted closer to him. “Alex, you woke up screaming. You’re crying. I don’t think you’re okay. And, you know what?  _ That’s okay.” _

Alex brought his hand up to his face and, sure enough, it came back wet. From tears? Or from the rain? What about the ocean, or the fountain, or—

He was struggling to separate reality from whatever the hell he just saw.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, his voice raw and shaky. He locked eyes with Willie. “Yeah, I’m not okay.”

* * *

Force visions were known for being tricky to understand. They were like riddles and prophecies; never straightforward and always hiding several layers of meanings. He had relied on his Masters to help guide him through ones he received in the past — which was rare in itself.

(One. He had one when he had just become a Padawan.  _ One.) _

(Alex didn’t want to think about the  _ three  _ he had these two weeks alone. He didn’t want to think about what that meant for him or the galaxy.)

Despite Force visions being complex and tricky, one part was vitally clear to Alex.

He was not the last Jedi.

_ That Force vision confirmed it. _

During the third portion of the vision, he had been standing on a platform under a double moon, and  _ he saw it.  _ A blue lightsaber. It was a sign — the Jedi had not been entirely snuffed out. There were more of them out there.  _ There was hope for a Jedi Order. _

The plan came easier after that.

Alex knew he wasn’t the only surviving Jedi — his vision proved that. His Master was clear — she wanted him to tell the remaining Jedi the truth, she wanted him to help regather the Order.

He wasn’t entirely sure how to yet, but the best bet was to get to an Outer Rim planet. The Republic was never fully established on many of those planets, and the likelihood that the Empire had already managed to do so was slim. 

_ People sacrificed themselves to give him a chance to gather the survivors and spread the truth,  _ and that was exactly what he was going to do.

Once again, Alex refused to think about the red blade, and he refused to think about what that meant. He refused to think about the screaming woman and man, blocked behind the red blade, screaming for  _ someone  _ to run.

All Alex could focus on was the fact he wasn’t alone.

_ He wasn’t alone,  _ and he was going to find the other Jedi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH WE KNOW ALEX'S LIGHTSABER COLOUR! I was debating between green and magenta for the longest time, but magenta just has Alex vibes.
> 
> Yay for last updates of 2020. Thank you to those of you who are reading in 2020, and I hope you have a great 2021. Be safe during your celebrations!
> 
> Thank you for all the fantastic comments! I love reading the theories you all come up with. 👀
> 
> Paw  
> Find me on [Tumblr!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	5. CHAPTER V: CORELLIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: the same warnings from the previous chapter apply.

“Approaching craft, state your call sign for the record.”

Alex was on the edge of the co-pilot’s seat, his lip between his teeth and his fingers curled tightly on the edge of the dash. He watched Willie closely as he grabbed the comms device.

“This is  _ Phantom Rho _ for Rimma Trading, requesting landing at Corellia Spaceport. I’m in need of fuel and maintenance on my ship.”

It was a lie, but Willie did it well.

There was a brief pause. Static filled the space of the cockpit. Alex chewed his lip nervously and  _ hoped _ that Willie’s plan would work.

Finally, a response came.

“Request authorized,  _ Phantom Rho.  _ Make your approach to Bay 17.”

“Copy.” Willie set down the comms and flashed a smile in Alex’s direction. “See,” he said, “nothing to be worried about.”

“I’m not worried.”

“You look pretty worried to me.” Willie turned back to the flight controls, but glanced back at him over his shoulder. “I’m mean…  _ I’m  _ pretty worried too, but it’s routine. We’ll be fine. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

It was all part of the plan.

Willie had come up with the plan earlier that day, when the planet was a spec of dust in the distance. He was transporting fuel for Rimma Trading and technically didn’t need to stop at any spaceports for refuelling, but Corellia didn’t need to know that. This was the simplest reason to explain why they needed to land. 

Really, they needed to get to the surface of that planet so—

_ So Alex could leave. _

Alex glanced at Willie out of the corner of his eye. Not wanting to be overwhelmed with all of the bright lights and potential misery housed in the millions of life-forms on Corellia, he’d completely blocked himself off from the Force. He wasn’t going to chance even a  _ sliver  _ of that connection, but, really, he didn’t have to.

Willie was just so  _ bright  _ all on his own.

It was that night, when Willie had shaken Alex awake from his nightmare, that he realized just how much he was going to miss him.

He was going to miss the way he’d tell stories, as if it was something that involved the whole body, not just the voice. He was going to miss the way that Willie kept blankets  _ everywhere,  _ just in case. He was going to miss the way he knew how Alex took his tea. He was going to miss the way he  _ knew  _ when to push, and when to give him space, and when to try and make him smile. 

And, even though it had only happened once, Alex was going to miss the way Willie’s voice softened at night when he pulled him from images of fire and red blades. 

_ He was going to miss Willie. _

Suddenly, it was very hard to breathe through the tightness of his throat.

_ He needed to say something though.  _ He needed to, otherwise this would just be one more rushed goodbye to add to the growing list,  _ and he didn’t want that. _

He wanted to say goodbye properly this time.

Alex turned to him and struggled to speak. “Willie, I…  _ Thank you.” _

He didn’t need to clarify what he was talking about. Willie already knew.

“You don’t need to thank me, Alex.” They locked eyes. “I’m happy to help. Really, I am.  _ And  _ I needed to get off Coruscant. You helped me, too.”

“Yeah, but… you gave me clothes, and your food, and you  _ helped me.”  _ Alex hoped Willie understood he wasn’t just talking about the clothes and the food, or even his holochess skills.  _ He helped him by being there for him.  _ That was more than Alex ever expected when he tried to steal his ship back at Covington’s spaceport. “You didn’t have to do all that you did, Willie. But you did.  _ Thank you.” _

“Always, Alex,” Willie reassured him. “I promised I would keep you safe, didn’t I?”

Yes, he did.

Alex’s chest nearly caved in at that.

“You went out of your way to do that,” Alex pointed out. “You lied to the troopers on Abregado-rae because of me, and you brought me all the way  _ here.  _ I know Corellia isn’t on your normal trade route, by the way.”

Willie let out a small laugh and turned back to his controls. “Noticed that, huh? You needed a planet with access to trade routes. Corellia was the best option.” He hesitated. “Besides, I know a guy here.”

“You  _ know  _ a guy? What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“It means that I know someone on Corellia who’s going to sell me a new hyperdrive for cheap. I think. I hope. I don’t actually know if he will, but he’s my best shot.” Willie winced. “I don’t exactly have a lot of credits kicking around for a new ship or for a full priced hyperdrive, so...” 

Alex wished he had credits to give him, to pay for the transportation, or to replenish all of the food he consumed, or so he could buy replacement clothing for the ones he was wearing now.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t even know how he was going to pay for transport off Corellia. All he had of value was his lightsaber, still safely strapped under his shirt, and he was not going to be parting with that any time soon.

“You know… this doesn’t have to be goodbye.”

Alex’s gaze snapped to his.

“Huh?”

Willie looked nervous. He shifted in his seat. His gaze darted across the dash.

“I just… You’re a good partner to have up here. I could always use an extra set of hands…”

Alex was having trouble comprehending what he was saying.

“Huh?”

It almost sounded like he was asking him to stay on the  _ Phantom, _ but that didn’t make sense. 

It couldn’t be that.

_ Right? _

Willie finally locked eyes with him. “You could join the crew? If you want.”

“Your crew?”

“Yeah, you know… Help me monitor the oxygen systems while I’m out there floating in space, give me someone to beat at holochess, the like. I could even teach you how to fly so when you’re in the cockpit when you can’t sleep, you can practice! Or— I don’t know. It might be nice.”

_ Alex couldn’t breathe. _

He didn’t know what these emotions were. There were too many of them, all hitting him in succession, all moving too quickly to truly comprehend.

All he knew was that…  _ it did sound nice. _

He couldn’t find the right words — the words he  _ wanted to say  _ — so  _ he ran. _

Alex’s smile was weak. “I thought you didn’t work with crews? That crews complicate things?”

Willie turned back to the controls, his jaw tensed.

A beat, then—

“Yeah, but… it’s  _ you,  _ Alex. You don’t make things complicated.”

“It sure as hell feels like it.” 

He didn’t mean to say that, but it was the truth, wasn’t it? He was complicated. Being a Jedi on the run from people who wanted him dead was complicated.

Willie turned to him. The sadness in his expression almost cracked Alex’s heart.

“What?” he asked, his voice soft.

“I just… I’m complicated. I complicate things.” Alex tried to think of an example that didn’t relate to him being a Jedi; an example that Willie would understand. “Look at what happened on Abregado-rae. It’s because of me that you had to lie to the Empire.  _ That’s complicated.” _

“Alex… You know—”

“Come in,  _ Phantom Rho,  _ come in.” 

The voice from the comms interrupted whatever Willie was going to say next. 

Alex could barely hide his disappointment.

There was a long pause — a pause that must’ve only lasted for a few seconds in reality, but felt like it could’ve stretched on for minutes. Finally, Willie broke through the tension that was building in the ship and grabbed the comms again.

His expression, with his eyebrows pushed together and his lips thin, made Alex’s heart beat a little faster. He looked confused and concerned.

“I’m hearing you,” Willie said, sounding more than slightly annoyed. “What can I do for you, control?”

“I’m going to need a full report on the crew members on the vessel before you touch down.”

“No crew,” he responded. Alex couldn’t help but think of how Willie just offered to change that. He tried to ignore the way his eyes stung. “It’s just me up here. The name’s William. I should be—”

“No crew?” The voice was sharp and held authority — a stark contrast to the almost monotone voice from earlier. “Repeat,  _ Phantom Rho.” _

Willie glanced at Alex. He could see the confusion, yes, but there was panic underneath too.

Alex felt his body go cold.

“You heard correct, control.  _ Phantom Rho  _ is operated by me — no crew. We’re flying solo up here.”

There was a long pause. The comms clicked off.

Alex inched forward. His gut twisted. Something didn’t feel right. 

“Willie… I don’t know about this...”

“I know.”

“Something’s wrong.”

_ “I know.”  _ They locked eyes. “I’ll handle it. Just— don’t worry. We’re still fine.”

Alex doubted it.

“Willie, what if they scanned for life-forms,” he breathed. A horrible feeling settled across him. “I wasn’t— I wasn’t in the cargo hold, they might’ve—”

Their eyes locked.

“Shit.”

Alex’s mind spun with panic. If they scanned for life-forms and he hadn’t been cloaking himself, then—

“They know you’re lying,” Alex told him, and it was without a doubt in his mind that he was right. “They must’ve scanned and—”

The comms clicked back on and he fell silent. “ _ Phantom Rho,  _ hold off on your approach, or you will be shot down. Prepare for docking in—”

“I have a crew!” Willie locked eyes with Alex. He was frozen in his seat, unable to say  _ anything,  _ but this was the only choice they had. They both knew it. Alex nodded and Willie continued. “Well, not an  _ official  _ crew — they’re temporary. That’s why I didn’t mention them earlier, but, you know, I was thinking ‘why not mention them!’ because you nice people down there probably would want to know about him. You should use less technical terms because ‘ _ Phantom  _ crew’ makes it sound like he’s a permanent staff member, you know? Hey, you know, you all are doing a  _ fantastic  _ job. One time, I had lunch with a group of air space control officers on Coruscant, and they told me how  _ complicated  _ their jobs are, so. Good job. You are doing great.” Without missing a beat, Willie gestured towards him and— “Here! Say hi to my temp!”

The comm device was sailing through the air before Alex could think.

He caught it easily and brought it to his lips. The words stuck in his throat because  _ what the hell was he supposed to say,  _ but Willie was looking at him with a pleading expression, and time was slipping away, and—

“Hi. Hello. Uhm… Hi.”

Willie and Alex traded pained expressions.

There was a long pause from control, but finally—

“Hello. State your name for the record.”

Alex let out a breathless laugh. “My name for the record? Corellia doesn’t require—”

“Corellia is under the new jurisdiction of the Galactic Empire. Now, state your name for the record,  _ Phantom Rho.” _

Alex hesitated.

He didn’t exactly have a choice.

“My name is Alex. Just Alex.”

Willie reached for the comms again. “And that’s the whole crew. William and Alex. Can we proceed to Bay 17?”

“Proceed,  _ Phantom Rho.” _

The comms clicked off and Willie let out a little cheer. Immediately, he began to make the descent into orbit.

“That was close,” he said, sounding breathless. “You should’ve used an alias though. Aren’t you, like… trying to avoid being perceived?”

“I couldn’t think of one.” Alex sunk back into his seat. “It’s fine. That’s not really my name anyway.”

Willie’s gaze shot to his. His eyebrows were high on his forehead, and his lips were parted just the slightest bit, and—

_ Alex realized what he said a little too late. _

“Dude,” Willie whispered. “Your name isn’t even Alex? No way!”

“It is! It is, I just—” He pressed his lips together and debated on exactly how he was going to get out of this one. “My name’s Alex. It is.”

His voice wavered.

_ Dammit. _

Willie’s grin widened. He lifted his hands in surrender. “Hey, now. Keep your secrets, ‘Alex.’ I’m not going to push you.”

_ He knew. _

_ Alex knew. _

It was just like Willie not to push too far.

“I get it, Mr. Undercover. You need to play your cards close to your chest. Hey, you know what, you can apply this strategy to Dejarik too! Maybe you’d be able to win if you did.”

“I won once!”

“Ha! Keep telling yourself that, man. It’s not like I  _ let  _ you win or anything.”

Alex’s jaw dropped. “Wait, hold on. You  _ what?” _

Willie laughed and turned back to the controls. “We all have our secrets, Alex.”

_ That they did. _

“Speaking of secrets,” Willie continued. He nodded towards the doorway of the cockpit. “You need to look your part of crew. I have a spare Rimma jumpsuit in the bunks. Put it on before we land, otherwise we’re going to look more suspicious than we already do.”

Alex stood, but hesitated in the doorway.

“Listen, Willie… About your offer…”

He didn’t turn to meet his eyes.

“Huh? Oh. Mhmm.” He shrugged. “It was just an offer. Don’t sweat it, Alex. I know you have places to be and people to see.”

Alex wet his lips. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous and awkward.

“Yeah… I just… I need to get to Corellia and I need to catch a transport. I… It’s  _ very  _ important. My whole life has been leading to this, basically, and I need to make sure I do this right.” He paused. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing to do with you or the  _ Phantom,  _ I just—”

“I understand. You’re a busy guy.” Willie finally turned to meet his gaze. He looked so comfortable that it seemed to ease some of the tension in Alex. “I thought I’d offer it because we just clicked, you know? Usually me and any shipmates and trying to stealthily sabotage the other by now. You’re different.”

“Different?”

“A good different,” Willie clarified. “I’m serious though — don’t worry about it. You have important things to do. I have deliveries to make. No need to explain, I get it.”

Alex nodded, but didn’t quite believe everything Willie said. “Okay. We’re good?”

“We’re good.”

As Alex left the cockpit, he resolved to put all of that — all of the tension, the worry, the awkwardness — behind him. 

He needed to focus on the task at hand. There wasn’t any time for emotions or thinking.

_ Just focus. _

It was in the bunks, when the ship was silent and Alex was alone, that he hesitated.

_ Something didn’t feel right. _

It had nothing to do with Willie’s jumpsuit he was stepping into — although, that  _ didn’t feel right either,  _ considering it was a few inches too short around his ankles and too baggy around his arms, but—

Even without being connected with the Force, Alex could sense something was wrong.

Of course there was something wrong. The Empire was here. The Republic had fallen. The galaxy had  _ changed. _

But…

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t seeing the full picture.

Part of him was tempted to reach out with the Force to try and sense what was happening on the surface — to try and sense he felt like his spine was prickling, but…

He couldn’t.

Not around so many life-forms.

Not around the  _ Empire —  _ the people he was running from — the people that were the cause of all this  _ pain  _ in him and around the galaxy.

Alex zipped up the jumpsuit and rejoined Willie in the cockpit, feeling slightly shaken.

As soon as he sunk into the co-pilot’s chair, Willie gave him a weak smile. He looked so unsure.

_ It was so unlike him. _

“We’re approaching soon. They’re probably going to want to sweep the vessel when we touch down. Just… stay quiet and stay behind me, alright? Once they’re gone, we’re good to go. Or, um…  _ You’re  _ good to go.”

Alex swallowed thickly.

“Alright.” He busied himself with scanning the horizon, unable to look at Willie in that moment. “Sounds good.”  _ It did not sound good.  _ At the last minute, he added, “Thanks again.”

“Of course.”

They were silent for the rest of the landing.

Alex couldn’t bring himself to look at him the whole time.

This was what he wanted. All he needed was a way off Coruscant. All he needed was a ride, and Willie gave him that.

_ He knew this. _

And yet…

He was sad.

His chest felt tight and his lungs heavy at the thought of saying goodbye. It was ridiculous, to have become so fond of someone so quickly, wasn’t it? But, then again, it was Willie who had helped him through the days immediately following the death of all his people — of all his friends — of all his  _ family.  _ It was normal for people to bond over shared trauma and panic — both of which he had with this pilot.

He didn’t want to say goodbye.

“Listen,” Willie started. Alex still refused to look at him. “You’re a great guy.  _ Truly.  _ And… you deserve good things. You do. You deserve to get to a point in your life when your burdens don’t seem so heavy. Whatever you’re going through — whatever you’re running from — it gets better.” He paused. Alex could feel his gaze on the side of his face, but  _ he couldn’t turn,  _ not when he was seconds from falling apart. “I just— It was nice to meet you, Alex.”

“Alexander.”

“Hm?”

Finally, Alex turned.

They locked eyes.

“My name,” he clarified. “My full name is Alexander. Alex is just a nickname. That’s why I wasn’t worried about giving my name to Corellia control.”

A softness settled over Willie’s features. “Alexander,” he repeated slowly. Alex’s heart nearly stopped. “It’s a good name.” He paused. “Is that… Do you want me to call you that? Alexander?”

Alex didn’t hesitate.

“No. Just Alex.”

“Alright then. Thank you for telling me, Alex.” He grinned.  _ “Hotdog.” _

Alex couldn’t help but laugh.

_ Maybe he’d even miss that. _

As soon as they landed, Willie was on the comms again. “This is  _ Phantom Rho _ to control — we are docked in Bay 17.”

Alex examined the planet. The spaceport was outside of the main city — Alex could tell because, through the mouth of the hanger, he could see a mass of buildings across an ocean. There was so much water between them that it seemed to paint the rest of the planet blue.

He’d been to Corellia a few times before, but he always forgot just how  _ low _ the city was. He was used to Coruscant, with buildings tall enough to be engulfed in clouds, and space crafts flying through the sky, and every inch of the ground being covered by some sort of structure.

Corellia was different. It was smaller. There were just as many structures as Coruscant, but they didn’t reach nearly as high. They all clung to the ground, while a thin layer of smog hung in the air. 

The water was rough, with waves crashing against the platforms that extended through the water and the shore.  _ Push and pull. Push and pull. _

Alex looked away, feeling uneasy. It reminded him too much of the Force vision he had — the one on the planet with double moons — and it made him feel seasick.

Willie cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence.  _ “Phantom Rho _ to control. Ramp is lowered at Bay 17. You’re free to board.”

Except…  _ they didn’t. _

Willie tapped his fingers across the dash as they waited. His knee bounced. Alex couldn’t stop fiddling with a loose thread on Willie’s spare jumpsuit.

They were both nervous.

As more time ticked by, the more nervous they grew.

Again, Willie tried the comms.  _ “Phantom Rho _ to Corellia Control. Do you copy? Are we needed for a sweep of the ship?”

Static came back as a response.

Willie shrugged and tossed the comms to the dash. “I’m gonna take that as a no. Let’s go, hotdog, before they change their mind. I don’t want to put your acting skills to the test.”

“Hey, I’m a  _ great  _ actor.”

“Alright, buddy. Just like you’re great at holochess?”

“Hilarious.”

“I try to be.”

Together, they left the ship. Alex glanced around the hanger, expecting to see at least one Imperial. But…  _ there wasn’t one in sight. _ It looked like it did when he last visited, back when the Republic was still strong. It was filled with ships and beings from across the galaxy, all messily rushing around and bumping into each other.

Alex stared. It was nice to see so many people after he’d been at space so long.

“Alright, so. You’re going to be looking for a cantina probably, right? To find a pilot willing to transport you?” Willie walked around the front of the Phantom, leading Alex towards the mouth of the hanger. Alex trailed behind, still distracted by all the people. “I think we can catch a ride to the main city from here…”

“Oh. Uhm. You don’t have to accompany me. I can handle myself.”

Willie snorted and gave him a funny look. “Dude, I need to get to the main city too. Remember? I’m trying to track down a hyperdrive. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be a parent on the first day of school and drop you off at the door.”

Alex wished he could relate to what Willie was saying, but he couldn’t. He never even knew his parents. So, he simply nodded.

Willie was right; there was transport to the main city from the hanger. They climbed into the back of the speeder operated by a droid and began their journey to the city.

_ Their last journey together. _

Alex really wasn’t a sentimental person, but he couldn’t stop  _ thinking  _ about it.

Last, last, last, last.

Willie was right that first day on the  _ Phantom.  _ Corellia was  _ cold  _ this time of the year. They were flying down a thin metal platform that connected the spaceport to the main city, with ocean on either side of them. The water crashed against the sides of the runway, spraying them with sea salt every few seconds.

_ Alex couldn’t stop staring at Willie.  _

Maybe a part of him wanted to commit the pilot to memory. Maybe he didn’t want to forget his first ally outside of the Jedi Order. Maybe he didn’t want to forget  _ him. _

It didn’t matter.

He was beautiful.

The wind tugged at his hair, making it fly around his head like each strand had a mind of its own. His eyes were shut and his nose was scrunched up to prevent the strands from stinging when they whacked him.

One thing Alex admired about Willie was his ability to be so relaxed. Even now, with water spraying up at them and wind pulling at their clothes, he was sprawled out across the bank of seats. His arms were spread across the top of the seats on either side of him and his head was tipped backwards to look at the sky.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

Alex quickly looked away and cleared his throat. “Yeah. I mean. Sure.”

“It’s nice to be able to breathe fresh air,” Willie continued. “Sometimes, I’m stuck on the  _ Phantom  _ for so long that I forget what this feels like.”

Alex understood that. There were times during the Clone War that he wouldn’t see the surface of a planet for weeks. He didn’t know someone could miss dirt so much until he was on week three of trying to break through a Separatist blockade.

“I forgot how annoying the wind can be,” Willie added. He pulled a face and pushed his hair from his face. Somehow, he managed to wrangle all but one strand into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. “Better. You know, you’d look good with long hair. Not that you don’t look good with short hair, but…  _ long hair is so fun.  _ Do you know how to do braids?”

_ Alex thought back to his Padawan braid. _

“Yes. I know how to braid.”

He cut it while he was hiding behind the street dog cart to hide his identity and he  _ missed  _ it. He didn’t know just how tightly those few strands of hair were tied to his identity.

Maybe it was one of the least significant things he lost that day, but it was a visual reminder of just how much he had lost. It  _ hit him  _ every time he looked at his reflection.

He cleared his throat.

“What about you? Do you know how to braid?”

“Oh, yeah,” Willie responded. “I was on a crew with a woman from Alderaan before. She taught me. It’s pretty easy once you get the patterns down.”

“You’ve been on lots of crews with lots of people.”

Willie’s eyes locked on his. He shrugged. “I did what I had to do to get by. I couldn’t really pilot a ship when I was seven and first out in the galaxy all alone, so I learned by jumping from crew to crew.”

Alex’s chest tightened. “You were on your own at  _ seven?” _

“I mean… I had crews. People watched over me. I wasn’t  _ on my own  _ until a few months ago, when I first started with Rimma.” Willie shrugged. “It’s just what happened. What about you, did you—” 

He froze.

His expression clouded over.

Alex’s skin prickled.

“Wait… Do you hear that?” Willie leaned forward, his expression frantic. “Something—”

Alex leapt into the air as an explosion rang out.

He was across the speeder and at Willie’s side in an instant, his heart pounding and his hands shaking with adrenaline. 

He already had begun to reach for his lightsaber before stopping himself — not only was he  _ with Willie on an Imperial controlled planet,  _ but he couldn’t even reach his lightsaber because of the way Willie’s jumpsuit did up. He’d have to take the whole thing off if he wanted to use it.

Instead, he grabbed hold of Willie’s forearm.

“What was that?!”

They scanned the horizon, searching for  _ anything  _ that would tell them what was happening. The city had grown in size in front of them as they approached, making it hard to see it from end to end. 

“I don’t know, but… I have a bad feeling about this.” Willie turned to Alex. Their eyes met. His were so wide and fearful. Alex’s heart pounded a little quicker. “What do you—”

This time, Alex saw the explosion.

It was so large that the flames that followed engulfed part of the sky. It had come from just inside the city walls. Willie was tense under his palm and the end of his ponytail whacked Alex’s cheek from the speed that he turned around. 

“Explosions?” Willie asked, his voice getting lost in the wind.

“I— Yeah! From inside the city!”

Another one came, this one much closer than the first two. It was close enough to shock the air from Alex’s lungs and echo in his chest. The droid controlling the speeder let out a scream, but didn’t slow in the approach.

_ Another one. _

_ And another one. _

_ And another. _

_ And— _

They were both rooted to their spots as more and more explosions followed from the main city. And then—

_ Screaming. _

Alex couldn’t breathe.

_ It was like he was back on Coruscant, back when the Temple fell. The fire. The yelling. The terror that slowly engulfed the world around him. The fear that bloomed from his chest though his fingers, the panic that clouded his mind. _

His fingers tightened on Willie’s arm.

Willie lurched forward and grabbed the radio attached to the front of the speeder. “Control, this is Captain William of  _ Phantom Rho,  _ currently housed in Bay 17. Status report?” Static. “Hello? Control? What’s the situation out there?”

When no response came, Alex was so sure he must’ve been living in a nightmare. Right? He was back in one of his Force visions as the world crumbled down around him? This couldn’t be real. The city could not be falling.

Except, it was real.

It was real because he could still feel his mental shields holding strong. It wasn’t a Force vision because  _ he wasn’t connected to the Force. _

Corellia was falling.

“Alright. Uh. New plan.” Willie shoved the radio away and turned to Alex, gripping both of his shoulders. “You head back to the ship, okay? I’ll go find someone from the Empire or Republic or  _ whoever  _ and—”

“No. Absolutely not.” Alex pointed towards the city and gave Willie a withering look. “Do you— Are you— No! You’re not going out there to look for someone who’s going to be at the centre of this.  _ Dude.  _ We’re both going back to the ship — or, better yet, we’re getting the  _ hell  _ off this planet before—”

Willie looked at him like he was speaking binary. “Are you serious? Alex, you  _ need  _ this planet.”

_ He was right. _

He was right because  _ he needed Corellia.  _ He needed to find a ride off of this planet to be able to escape to the Outer Rim because  _ this was his mission.  _ It was his  _ final  _ mission. He couldn’t just  _ give up,  _ not when so much was resting on him.

“You’re right, but—”

“So, go back to the ship. I’ll find you a ride and—”

“Hilarious, Willie. You’re  _ hilarious.  _ What?  _ You’re  _ going to go out there alone? When there is so clearly  _ something  _ happening, and—”

“Yeah! I am!”

“There are explosions! What are you going to do?”

Willie pulled a face. “The exact same thing you would. Turn tail and run!”

That made Alex hesitate.

Willie softened.

“Listen, we need to get you off this planet, yeah? And I need to find a hyperdrive because—”

_ “Dude, still?  _ The city is on fire—”

“I kinda need one!” He chewed his lip. “Without one, I can barely take any jobs. No jobs, no credits. No credits, no ship — the end. Okay? I’m kinda relying on a hyperdrive, and a  _ cheap  _ hyperdrive. I’m not wavering on this, Alex! We’re going and getting you out. Don’t worry about what I do after.”

Alex laughed. “Don’t  _ worry?  _ Me? Have you  _ met  _ me? I worry about, like, everything!  _ Including you!”  _

He snapped his mouth shut.

It was too late to think about what he said though because it was out there, and—

“I’m the one with the blaster, okay? So, we’re dropping you off at the cantina first and then—”

“Wait,  _ what!?”  _ Alex’s eyes flew to his. He gripped Willie’s shoulders. “You have a  _ what?!” _

“A blaster!” 

To demonstrate, Willie lifted out the  _ tiniest freaking blaster  _ he’d ever seen from his breast pocket.

“What’s  _ that  _ going to do?”

“Hopefully nothing because hopefully we won’t have to use it.” He shoved it back in his pocket and gave Alex a firm look. “I’m getting you off this planet no matter what, hotdog. I’ll win this argument like I won every holochess match against you.  _ Accept it.” _

Dammit.

Willie was as stubborn as he was.

_ But  _ he was right. Alex needed to continue his mission and, to do so, he needed off this planet.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine! Freaking  _ fine!” _

They needed a plan — fast. They were only seconds away from breaching the outskirts of the city, and who knew what was waiting for them inside.

“We stick together,” Alex told him. “Alright? And follow my lead.”

“I’m the one with the blaster. We follow  _ my  _ lead.”

“Willie,” Alex pleaded. “Just…  _ trust me,  _ okay? Please.”

It was the best he could do without telling him that he’d been in worse situations before. He had led armies through battles and fought on the front lines of a war that had been raging for three years. 

If there was anything he knew, it was  _ this —  _ explosions, chaos, attacks.

Willie hesitated for the briefest second. Then he nodded. “Okay. I trust you.”

It was good enough for him.

They both ran from the speeder as soon as it had slowed enough and raced through the city walls. Just beyond a tall gate was exactly what Alex expected.

_ Chaos. _

People were everywhere — running, screaming, crying. Explosions rang out in the distance, more clear now that they were beyond the walls. He could feel each one in his chest. His ears rang with the aftershock. 

It was horrible. Gut-wrenching. It made Alex want to rush forward and  _ help  _ — just as he had done so many times before during the battles he’d fought.

_ The Clone War might’ve been announced as over and won, but a new one had just begun. _

Between all the screaming, he could hear authoritative shouting and the steady march of an approaching army. The Empire. The clones.

_ So many times, he’d walked within that army and now— _

Willie grabbed hold of Alex’s hand and pulled him forward. Alex held him as tightly as he could manage, not wanting to get separated. This was the type of crowd that could swallow someone whole and rip families apart — he’d  _ watched  _ it, he watched how easily loved ones could lose each other in the panic.

Although, they weren’t loved ones. They were allies at best.

_ It didn’t matter. _

_ Didn’t matter, didn’t matter, didn’t matter— _

It was like fighting the tide as they moved. With each step they took, they were slammed backwards by terrified people. Their hands were threatened to be ripped apart from the force at which some ran into them, but neither let go, neither loosened their hold.

_ They were going to do this together. _

Alex’s shoulder bumped against Willie’s rhythmically. Each time someone would slam into them hard enough to throw one of them off balance, the other was there with their hand under their elbow to steady.

He’d rarely felt like this.

Like he was lost inside a beast.

Battles had been different, with him at the helm of them, with him leading warriors to fight, with him engaging the enemy with a lightsaber in hand.

This was different.  _ It was terrifying. _

Being trapped in a sea of screaming people — unable to help — dizzy with confusion — heart pounding — it made him feel like he was drowning.

_ Drowning, drowning, drowning— _

“Hey!” Willie’s voice could barely be heard over the crowd. He tugged Alex with him, towards the edge of the crowd. His gaze locked onto who he was approaching. It was an Imperial Officer; the only one in the mass of people wearing a grey jumpsuit and pushing a cart. “Hey!”

Willie didn’t give him a chance to respond. As soon as they were close enough, he darted in front of the rolling cart to catch his attention. His eyes were wide and chest heaving and—

“What’s going on! What’s—?”

“There’s resistance along the eastern sectors of the city,” the officer reported, his voice shaking. “Stay in your home, sir. Troopers have been implemented to eliminate the threat. The Empire—”

They didn’t stick around to hear what the Empire was doing.

They were swallowed back up by the crowd. No matter how tall Alex stood on his toes, he couldn’t see the Imperial Officer through the chaos, and that was that.

They kept moving forward.

Willie leaned closer, his breath washing across Alex’s cheek, their heads nearly clashing together. “We need to get to the cantina!” he yelled. “It’s two blocks north!”

They pushed their way through the crowd. Explosions continued to ring out. The air was thick with smoke. The streets had quieted the slightest bit as people took shelter. Alex could hear blasters firing in the distance and it  _ terrified him. _

He was spiralling.

He could feel it.

The way his legs felt weak under him. The way the blood rushed through his ears so loudly that it made the world around him grow quiet. The way it felt like he wasn’t truly attached to his limbs — like he was floating six feet above his body.

_ Like he was a ghost. _

All he could do was cling to Willie’s side as he elbowed his way through the crowd. Really, so much for taking the lead, but he could barely  _ breathe. _

“Almost there!” Willie turned to him, eyes wide and panicked. “You okay? You’re doing good?”

Alex gave him a firm nod.

It was all they had time for.

Finally —  _ freaking finally  _ — the cantina came into view. It was tiny and seedy, with a dimly lit sign hanging off its hinges and flyers plastered along the wide windows, completely hiding the inside from view. It might not have been the spaceports Alex was used to, but it was something, and it was going to be off the grid — exactly what he needed. It looked empty, with the door propped wide open and the exterior completely abandoned, but—

Alex and Willie ducked right as an explosion went off.

The boom that followed literally knocked the air out of Alex’s lungs and left him seeing double. Despite nearly getting knocked on his ass, he still held Willie’s hand — lucky thing, too, because Willie  _ did  _ in fact get knocked over.

Alex grabbed him under his arm and lifted him upright. He didn’t dare look away from the cantina — or, what  _ remained  _ of the cantina. The whole building had been lit on fire. It crumbled in on itself, sending up clouds of dust and smoke. The sound of the inferno added to the chaos, nearly drowning out the sound of marching.

_ Alex had too much experience in battle though. _

His head snapped in the direction of the sound and—

_ There. _

Clone troopers. A whole squadron of them, moving in towards the lit cantina, their blasters raised and their movements nearly robotic.

He was plunged into a state of panic.

“We have to—” Alex coughed through the dust. “We have to move!”

Together, they raced down the next closest street. Dust clung to them like a blanket, coating their skin and sticking to their lips. Alex choked on breath after breath as they ran. He didn’t know where Willie was dragging him — he didn’t care.

_ He just needed to get away. _

Fighting had broken out in the streets. If the Imperial Officer was to be trusted, then it must’ve been between the Empire and civilians resisting the change. It sure  _ looked  _ like it, from what he could see. Alex had witnessed the way civilians could band together in the face of adversary and destruction — he had witnessed them fight wars when it was their last resort.

Yet—

Watching civilians swarm the streets was a sight. Many of them didn’t have blasters and had resorted to using their fists or remaining chunks of concrete from the explosions. It was chaos.

“Alex! Come on!”

Alex followed Willie sloppily down a back alley. The buildings towered over them, blotting out the sun from the sky and filling the space with shadows. The temperature dipped and the dust cleared.

As soon as the chaos of the streets had been left behind them, they both collapsed against the side of the buildings and  _ gasped. _

“Are you— are you okay?” Alex coughed a few more times and watched Willie carefully. He was bent over and the waist and wheezed with each breath. He flashed him a quick thumbs up, but that didn’t make any of Alex’s worries ease. “You’re not hurt are you?”

“Just. Breathing. Fine. ‘M good.”

Alex’s head tipped backwards and connected with the wall he was propped against. His pulse was racing. His legs felt weak as the adrenaline drained from him. He was terrified.

“That was…”

“Yeah. I know.”

Alex didn’t know what to expect on Corellia, but it wasn’t  _ that.  _ He hated to admit it, but he had barely thought of how the galaxy was going to respond to the shift from the Republic to the Empire.

Of course, he should’ve assumed this was what was going to happen on some planets. Not everyone supported Palpatine in the Senate. The Jedi had loyal supporters across the galaxy —  _ of course  _ there would be some people that didn’t believe the Empire’s lies. And even though the Clone Wars was said to be over, these people were all too used to war and lies. 

He wondered what it looked like across the galaxy. How many bands of resistance had risen up? How many people refused to cooperate peacefully?

Willie let out a few more coughs before straightening. He glanced up towards the sky, his expression pinched.

“Alright, so, we’re headed in the right direction,” Willie said, his voice raw and scratchy. “The guy who I’m meeting — he lives in the district next to this one.” He turned to Alex, his eyes pleading and frantic. “New plan; come with me to his warehouse, and then I’ll take you to the next planet.”

“Willie—”

“It’s the only option,” he said quickly. “Corellia isn’t safe; I’m not just going to  _ leave you here  _ and hope for the best. Once we get the hyperdrive, it’ll be a quick jump to another planet with a good transportation hub. Really, it’s not a big deal.” He paused. “And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Alex didn’t want to argue with him, not really. He made good points. Alex didn’t really want to stay on Corellia any longer than he had to and he doubted he was going to be able to find a ship leaving anytime soon.  _ Plus,  _ with the Empire already here? It wasn’t a good place for a Jedi.

“Alright,” he agreed. “Thank you.”

“Like I said —  _ always.”  _ Willie gestured towards the opposite end of the alley. “It’s this way. Probably a few more blocks.”

They didn’t come face to face with anymore explosions or squadrons of clone troopers as they moved through the city. They stuck to tight alleys and empty streets to avoid as much of the conflict as possible, even if that meant taking the long way around certain blocks.

All Alex could think about was the fact that he was running.

_ He was running away from people that needed him.  _ Every instinct in his body told him to turn around and race into battle. He was raised to protect others above all else — it was nearly impossible to do the exact opposite when he heard people screaming or felt the rumble of an explosion.

_ He shouldn’t be running. _

He was training to be a Jedi Knight. He should be helping. He should be at the  _ front,  _ protecting, leading,  _ saving— _

And yet, here he was, running through the shadows.

He desperately told himself that it was for the mission. It was for the Jedi Order. It was for the greater good.

It still felt wrong. It still made his skin crawl.

_ What would his Master think if she were here? _

He almost didn’t want to know.

Willie stuck to his side like glue as they moved through the city. His hand clutched the sleeve of Alex’s jumper so tightly that the skin across his knuckles strained. His free hand hovered just above his breast pocket, as if he was waiting for the slightest sign to pull out his blaster.

Finally, just when Alex was beginning to think they might be lost, Willie pointed to a two-storey warehouse a few feet ahead of them. It was along the water’s edge and had a sprawling junkyard stretching to the east, filled with assorted ship parts.

“There,” he said, out of breath. “That’s it. That’s his place. We go in, get the hyperdrive, and get out. Okay?”

Alex nodded in agreement. “You think he’ll give you a deal?”

“I hope so. Let’s just hope he’s in a good mood today.”

They walked through the double doors of the warehouse. Alex’s muscles eased from the warmth inside. 

The warehouse was standard. The ceiling stretched high above them, allowing sunlight to spill in through cut out skylights. The metal grating above them ran the perimeter of the room, casting long shadows across the dirt floor. The scent of oil and burning metal hit Alex as strongly as the warmth did. He wrinkled his nose.

It might’ve been standard, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant.

“Artie!” Willie called out. His voice echoed around the otherwise silent warehouse. Alex scanned the expansive room, looking for any signs of life. “Artie, it’s Willie! I’m with Rimma. I met you a few months ago when I was last on Corellia. You mentioned that you’d be willing to strike a deal with me on parts for my ship and, well, I’m hoping to do that now.”

They waited, still hovering just inside the doorway, but there was no response.

Willie turned to Alex and frowned. “I mean… I  _ think  _ I have the right building…” He cupped his hands and tried again. “Artie!?  _ Art—  _ Oh. Hi.”

A man came from what looked like the back office, his eyes narrowed and his lips curled into a sneer. They must’ve interrupted him while working on a project because he was wiping what looked to be dark oil onto a rag as he approached.

“Hey. I’m Willie. I don’t believe we’ve met before.” Willie gave a tiny wave. “Do you know where Artie is? He mentioned—”

“Yeah,” the stranger said, his voice gruff and raspy. “I heard ya the first time. Artie’s around here somewhere, I’m sure…  _ but  _ I  _ am  _ the partner owner of this establishment. The name’s Kres.”

Willie’s expression lit up. “Oh, good. You can help us then? We’re looking for a few replacement parts. The less assembly required the better — we have a few places to be with some precious cargo.”

Alex couldn’t tell if  _ he  _ was the precious cargo, or if the fuel was.

Kres grunted. “What ship?”

Willie launched into an explanation of the  _ Phantom, _ going into all the nitty and gritty details. Alex didn’t pay as much attention as he should’ve. Instead, he couldn’t stop looking around the warehouse. It had been a while since he had seen so many parts for so many ships. Not just recent Republic ships either, but ships that had been around long before he was.

Alex’s gaze was drawn back to the man. His clothing was splattered with dark oil, just like his hands had been. Did he do repairs here too? Convenient for them. The faster they got off this planet, the better.

“That’s an old ship,” the man pointed out as soon as Willie finished speaking. He lifted an eyebrow. “An  _ expensive  _ ship, too. She’s a classic. And apparently in decent shape. Are you sure it’s just a few parts you’re missing?”

“She still runs great,” Willie assured him. “I just have a damaged hyperdrive. I’m thinking—”

“So, let me see…” The atmosphere in the room shifted abruptly. Kres crossed his arms and looked down at them. “You’re working for a fancy trading company with a fancy ship. Your hyperdrive is shot. You’re in the middle of transporting some ‘precious’ cargo. You’re on Corellia when this planet isn’t anywhere near your company’s trade route. That can only mean one thing. Your ship is  _ filled  _ with contraband. You’re smugglers.”

_ “Huh?”  _ Willie nearly choked on his breath. Alex’s eyebrows shot up. “Woah, hold on now. That’s  _ waaaaaay  _ off, buddy. Let’s slow down and—”

“Is it? Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get a few of those nice Imperial fellas to go check out your vessel, huh? Just to  _ sweep  _ it to make sure it’s clean of any contraband.”

Willie took a step forward, his posture rigid. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but  _ dude.  _ Knock it off. I’m transporting  _ fuel.  _ Not contraband.  _ Fuel.”  _ He let out a short huff. “That’s all I meant by precious cargo. It’s nothing special, just—”

“Just a whole ship full of fuel?” Kres’ eyes glinted. Alex was getting a bad feeling. “Your ship could carry an  _ impressive  _ amount of fuel. On  _ certain  _ markets, it would fetch a  _ large  _ sum of money.”

“...What?”

“You know, you really should be more careful about what you tell strangers.”

Willie’s hand inched towards his pocket. Alex’s breathing turned shallow. “I don’t know what—” Willie shook his head. “Forget it. Do you or do you not have the parts I need?”

“The parts for your  _ expensive  _ ship carrying  _ expensive  _ cargo?”

It came upon Alex suddenly, the wash of dread.

His gaze flicked towards the office Kres had walked through only moments ago and,  _ sure enough,  _ there were two figures emerging from the room.

_ Oh no. _

“Willie—”

He took a step closer to Willie, who’d crossed some of the empty space to confront Kres, but stopped short as soon as a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Alex let out a yelp and spun, coming face to face with—

“Woah! Okay.” Willie was at his side, pulling him backwards and away from the burly Twi'lek in front of him. “What’s going on here?”

Alex was the first to put the pieces together.

The confrontational man and supposed owner of the warehouse, the invasive and what now so clearly seemed like manipulative questions, the sudden appearance of three sentient beings, the way they were all moving into what was  _ clearly  _ a well-practiced formation around them, the glint of something metallic from their hands—

Knives.

They were holding knives and surrounding them.

Alex almost laughed.

“Are we really getting robbed right now?  _ Really?” _

It was the wrong question to ask.

The Twi'lek man who had  _ at least  _ two feet of height on both Willie and Alex lunged for him. Before Alex could even react, Willie had pushed him backwards and swung his fist right into their attackers face. There was a crack. The man let out a grunt, grabbed his face, and stumbled backwards.

_ “Dude!”  _ Willie complained. He stumbled away from the man, his hand clutched to his chest, and he turned to Kres. “Are you joking me? You’re  _ robbing  _ us?”

He never got a verbal answer. 

Instead, he got punched in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK! MORE ART!! [You can see it on thesunwillart's Tumblr!!](https://thesunwillart.tumblr.com/post/639144589290291200/various-star-wars-au-doodles) You can see some scenes from chapter 2, 3, and 4 (HELLO, Alex with his lightsaber!!) *chef kiss* Thank you for your excellence, Ryn.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	6. CHAPTER VI: CORELLIA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: check chapter 4 for the warnings for this chapter!

“Dude! My face.” Willie cupped his cheek and winced. “This is so not cool! Attacking your customers is bad for business, you know! I’m going to— _ow—_ I’m going to leave _such_ a bad review here!”

“Something tells me that he isn’t actually the owner,” Alex pointed out lowly, his eyes darting from person to person. 

In reality, they probably knew less about this warehouse than Willie did. They must’ve used the mayhem and destruction of the streets as cover to do _this;_ rob from the warehouse and, as luck would have it, corner them.

They were surrounded. Four-to-two. Alex felt good about those odds, even without his connection to the Force. He’d fought wars against seasoned soldiers and droids built for combat — taking down four amateurs was going to be easy.

_But then Kres pulled out a blaster._

The end was pointed in their direction. The safety clicked off.

Alex grabbed the back of Willie’s jumpsuit and hauled him back, pulling him right out of the trajectory of any shots.

_Chaos broke out._

The four beings that surrounded them moved seamlessly, and Alex began to doubt just how amateur they really were. 

Alex couldn’t keep an eye on Willie as they were launched into an uncoordinated defence. With four knives around them and a man with a blaster, all Alex had time to do was dodge oncoming punches as he tried to move towards Kres.

_He needed to get that blaster away from him._

Punches, they could handle. Knives… that was pushing it. _But a blaster?_ Game over.

They must’ve seen Willie as the greater threat — he was more vocal _and_ had already thrown a punch — and three of the four assailants moved towards him. 

Another punch clipped Willie’s side.

A cloud of dust came up from where he hit the floor.

Alex lunged at the Twi'lek man, blocking him before he could throw another punch at Willie. His training took over easily — it had only been a few weeks since he was out at the frontlines of battles, after all. He grabbed the man’s wrist and brought both their arms upwards, stretching the knife away from either of them. In one swift movement, Alex twisted and used the man’s own weight to send him flying over his shoulder and smashing to the ground.

Dirt clouded up.

_He didn’t see it coming._

His legs were swept out from underneath him. His breath was knocked from his chest as he hit the ground. The world spun out of control.

_He was moving before he could catch his bearings._

Alex rolled just as a blade came down. He moved to grab his lightsaber, but—

_Shit._

His hand met the fabric of the jumpsuit. Below the two layers of fabric, he could feel the hilt of his lightsaber, but it was out of reach.

Alex lunged out of the way of another attack, this time with much less grace. His chin caught the ground. He choked on a mouthful of dirt.

_He couldn’t grab his lightsaber._

Of course he couldn’t! It was trapped under this freaking _jumpsuit,_ blocked by a zipper and a tangled mess of fabric, and—

Behind him, he could hear Willie let out a grunt. His heart launched to his throat, but he didn’t have time to _look,_ didn’t have time to _help—_

Instead of rolling out of the way of the next attack, he lunged.

Both him and the man went tumbling to the ground. Alex landed with his full body weight on him, with both of his knees planted on his chest. With his heart hammering and his mind spinning, he slammed the Twi'lek man’s hand that clutched the knife into the dirt. Again, and again, and—

The blade went skidding across the floor, flying out of reach of both of their grasps.

_It was pure instinct that drove his actions._

Alex lifted his hand in the direction of the blade and called on the Force.

_He had good intentions._

_He did._

If _he_ had the blade, then their attackers didn’t. He needed something to use in this battle, even if it was as uncivilized as a metal knife, but—

_He forgot._

He forgot exactly what he was running from.

As soon as Alex let his mental shields drop — as soon as he called on the Force — the world came crashing down around him.

He was hit with such intense emotions that it made his vision black out.

_Terror. Suffering. Panic._

_Screaming._

_Running._

_Explosions._

He could feel it all. He could _see_ it all; every action, every emotion, every life-force echoing out through the Force in shock and horror.

If the Force had been _cold_ before, this was _hot._

_Burning hot._

It was excruciating.

Alex couldn’t breathe. His whole body had been plunged ice underwater. His muscles all tensed as if he’d been encased in carbonite right there. His throat closed around the air and the words and the panicked yelp he wanted to get out. His lungs swelled and ached, as if they were going to burst from it all.

There was so much fear, so much darkness, so much desperation — all echoing through Corellia — all—

The breath was knocked out of his lung and dirt filled his mouth before Alex even knew what was happening. He was pressed chest-first into the dirt floor with a foot planted between his shoulder blades, keeping him from being able to move.

His vision was dim. All he could see were lights and waves, all stretched across the blackness of the galaxy and the planet. He couldn’t _hear,_ not anything besides the explosions ringing out dozens of blocks away, or the screams of civilians as they ran, or—

“Fine! Fine! Just— _stop!_ Don’t hurt him!”

Alex blinked hard. That voice.

_That voice._

Willie?

Willie.

Alex shuddered as reality rushed back to him. He gasped — breath after breath. The floor was cool against his cheek. There was a weight across his back. He could barely make sense of the world around him from how hard his vision spun, but—

_That voice._

“Yes, fine, I don’t care. See? See — all my pockets are empty.” That was Willie again, sounding desperate and out of breath. 

Alex couldn’t see him, not from the way his face was pressed into the ground, but he could _feel him._ So bright in the Force, such a warm life-force, even with darkness surrounding both of them.

Another voice came — sharp and gruff — but Alex couldn’t make out the words.

“Bay 17. _Yes,_ Bay 17 is the truth. Do you think— _hey.”_ There was a brief struggle, with several feet scraping against the floor and clothing rustling. Willie spoke again. “I _swear.”_

Six life-forms.

Alex could sense them distinctly around the room as the shock of _everything_ melted away.

Six.

Willie was the brightest, standing mere feet away from him. His emotions were so strong that, for a moment, Alex nearly confused them for his own. He was _scared,_ and distressed, and desperate, and—

The other life-forms around the room were dimmer and colder than Willie. One was right above him, while the other three were clustered around Willie tightly.

Seconds ticked. 

The world straightened. 

The ground solidified. 

Each breath came easier. 

His vision cleared.

Alex turned and caught sight of exactly what was going on. Willie stood several feet away from him, his whole body rigid and tense. Two of their assailants had his arms pinned to his sides and a knife pressed to his throat. Each breath he took came out as small gasps and his cheek was already blossoming a violent red. 

Alex, on the other hand, had taken himself out of the fight completely. There hadn’t been a single hit on him, unlike Willie, and there was only one assailant standing over him now. The only sign of the skirmish having reached him was the foot solidly planted at his back; otherwise, he felt completely unscathed, as if he existed outside of the fight.

 _Well…_ almost.

In the middle of it all, Kres stood, his blaster raised and pointed at Alex.

It wasn’t the first time he’d been on this end of a blaster.

“Just _take_ the ship, okay?” Willie begged, his voice raw. “ _Take it_ and _get away from him.”_

Alex dragged his gaze back to Willie’s. So desperate, so panicked, so terrified.

He put the pieces together slowly.

Willie had caved for him. He was offering his final card — the _Phantom_ — in exchange for their safety.

_Both of their safety._

It looked as though Willie made good on his promises because _he was doing everything to keep Alex safe._

As if gravity pulled their gazes together, Willie’s eyes locked on his. His expression shifted the tiniest bit — or, maybe it wasn’t even his expression that changed, but rather his emotions through the Force. 

It was hard to tell.

Everything was still so _blurry_ through the Force _,_ so hard to detangle, so hard to feel.

“I’m _so_ glad we could come to an agreement, _Willie,”_ Kres said. Alex hated the amusement in his voice. He hated the way his words made Willie struggle. “I would’ve hated to see anything happen to your boyfriend.”

Kres glanced at the man above Alex and nodded.

The weight between his shoulder blades increased.

The breath rushed from Alex.

“Just _go,_ okay?” Willie’s voice had dipped. His hands curled into fists at his side. “Go and—”

“Let’s make sure neither of you follow us, hm?” 

Kres lifted the blaster. 

Alex could sense it before it happened. 

A split second before Kres even pulled the blaster’s trigger, Alex had discretely lifted his hand and willed the air to _bend._ It was pure luck that the man had set the blaster to stun. The resulting stunner was already flying through the air, but it shifted the slightest bit off course as Alex focused. It was all he could manage to do with the echoes of pain and fear radiating around him, but—

_It was enough._

The stunner hit the body above him. Instantly, their body went slack. Before they could begin to tople to the ground, Alex was moving.

He pushed off the floor and _charged._

Chaos broke out again, but this time—

_He was at the centre of it._

Alex summoned the blaster from Kres’ grip into his own using the Force. Without missing a beat, he pointed it in Willie’s direction and pulled the trigger. The two stunning shots found their way to the chests of the attackers on either side of Willie.

He didn’t wait to see them hit the ground.

Alex threw his whole body weight at Kres, sending them both to the ground. They both landed in the dirt, kicking up another cloud of dust, and Alex pointed the end of the blaster against his chest. His chest was heaving and his spin prickled, but—

“A Jedi!” Kres managed to wheeze. His eyes were locked onto his in fear. Alex could feel him shaking beneath his knee. “But you’re all— you’re supposed to be—”

Alex brought two fingers to Kres’ forehead. 

They locked eyes.

The Force pulsed around him.

“I’m not a Jedi,” he stated slowly. It took everything in him to warp reality. A headache brewed — sharp and strong — behind his eyes. When Kres didn’t flinch, Alex tried again. His body ached with the effort. _“I am not a Jedi.”_

“You… You are not a Jedi.”

He let out a shaking breath. He clung to the connection. Sweat beaded down his forehead.

_“You saw nothing.”_

“I saw nothing.”

Alex grit his teeth. Blood pounded through his ears. His fingers shook. He could feel the connection slipping away with him as he grew more tired. He pleaded with himself—

_Just a bit more._

Just a bit more.

_“Once we leave, you will not remember us.”_

“I will not remember you.”

Pushing just a little bit more, Alex tried for one last request. “You are going to sit here while we leave.”

Kres blinked up at him, his lips curling into a sneer. Alex knew immediately; the connection had snapped.

“I will _not—”_ He sputtered. His pupils shrunk. “I am going to— _I’m going to—”_

He was silenced with a stunner in the chest.

Alex collapsed to the ground.

He was only able to stay upright by sheer willpower. His limbs trembled beneath him from exhaustion. Each beat of his heart sent a spike of pain through his mind—

_His mind._

There was so much chaos — all echoing from the Force. He’d managed to filter a chunk of it out with his adrenaline and desperation, but now—

Alex’s eyes slid shut. He sucked in breath after breath. He attempted to calm his mind, to regain his sense of balance, to feel the earth beneath his palms—

_“Holy shit.”_

His eyes flew open. Alex spun around.

In the panic and carnage, he forgot.

_He forgot about Willie._

The pilot stood between the two unconscious bodies. Alex couldn’t bring himself to _look_ at him, he was so nervous for his reaction. 

He had witnessed that. 

_All_ of that. 

The way re-establishing the connection to the Force had knocked him on his back, the way he changed the trajectory of the stunner, the way he had summoned the blaster into his hands across several feet of space, the way he had used the Jedi mind trick on the now unconscious Kres—

Shit, indeed.

He knew he couldn’t get out of this — _there was no way_ — and he couldn’t spin a lie fast enough that would make sense.

“Willie,” Alex began, his voice shaking. He hauled himself to his feet. His legs wobbled beneath him. “Willie, look, I can explain. I—” He swallowed thickly. “I’m a—”

“Jedi?” Alex heart rate _skyrocketed._ His jaw dropped. He finally met Willie’s gaze. Instead of the fear, horror, and betrayal he was expected, he found something softer. Something _fonder._ The corners of his lips were turned upwards into a warm grin — a grin that seemed to calm Alex despite everything going on. “Yeah. _I know._ You’re, like, _really_ bad at hiding things. I knew you were a Jedi from the moment I met you.”

Alex couldn’t breathe.

 _“What?”_ His hands shook at his sides. His thoughts spiralled. “I don’t— I mean— Aren’t you—”

Willie was the one to cross the distance between them, his smile remaining soft and his steps confident. Alex took a step backwards because—

Shouldn’t he be scared? Shouldn’t Willie be _terrified_ right now? Shouldn’t he be _running—_

Alex’s thoughts and worries were silenced when Willie flung his arms around his shoulders and tugged him into a hug.

The world went silent.

_Oh._

This was nice.

Alex remained tense for a moment before he melted into his hold. His breath shuddered out of him and his chin dug into Willie’s shoulder. The strength at which Willie clung to him seemed to push all the shakiness from his limbs — it seemed to hold the pieces of his fractured soul together.

It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. This utter _harmony_ with someone, even for only a brief moment. This _closeness_ with someone he trusted, even though he was still _so confused_ and _so tired._

“You should be running,” he whispered.

“No, I shouldn’t be. I’m exactly where I want to be.” 

Alex pressed his nose to his shoulder tighter. Out of all possible reactions, _that_ was the least expected.

“We need to get back to the ship,” Willie said after a long moment. “We’ll talk once we’re up there, okay? I mean that, Alex. _We’re talking about this.”_

They pulled back. Alex studied his expression.

“Okay,” he agreed. There wasn’t much else he could do. _He couldn’t run from this._

But, really, did he want to?

Maybe it should’ve scared him that he already knew that answer, but all he found was peace.

_Peace with knowing that finally — finally — he was going to come clean._

An explosion, still off in the distance but growing closer, broke whatever remained of their tender moment. Willie stepped away, his eyes still lingering on Alex’s, before he dropped to the ground to collect the items that remained. He grabbed Kres’ blaster and brought it closer for inspection.

“This should do. You were right. My blaster sucks.” Alex caught sight of the tiny blaster, which clearly had been knocked from his grasp during the fight. “You still have that holster I gave you?”

“Yeah, but—”

Before he could finish speaking, Willie unclipped the holster from Kres’ side and stood. It was far nicer than the one Alex was wearing now — with a pouch hanging off what looked like a belt. Instantly, Alex could see himself stashing his lightsaber in it; keeping it hidden from view, but more accessible than it was under his shirt or jumpsuit.

“I like it,” Alex said.

Willie snorted and clipped it around his own waist. “It’s kinda funny. _They_ tried to rob us, and now _we’re_ taking their things.” He glanced at the unconscious bodies around the room. “They’re… They’re not going to come after us, are they? You did the whole…” Willie wiggled his fingers, referring to the Jedi mind trick. “Is that permanent or…?”

“It should hold. I think. I don’t know.” Alex grabbed hold of Willie’s hand and began to lead them from the warehouse. “Kres isn’t going to remember anything, but the other two… They’re not going to come after us. They’re looking for an easy target which, clearly, we’re not.”

“Yeah. Clearly.” Willie winced and touched the side of his face. “But, just in case… let’s get outta here before I get another black eye.”

They took off into the city.

The trek from the warehouse to the gates was fairly short and straightforward. Instead of running through the winding streets and the destruction of the Empire to get to the cantina, all they had to do was hug the shore and run a few blocks.

Despite being out of the way of a lot of the main action, these streets were still sites of horror. Alex could feel it now that he wasn’t shut off from the Force. He could feel _everything._ It was hard to keep his vision locked ahead of him and himself from spiralling, but _it was necessary._

If Kres hadn’t set his blaster to stun, Alex’s trouble reconnecting with the Force could’ve been the end of him. That couldn’t happen again — he couldn’t allow this pain to knock him to his knees.

_He’d just have to bear it._

The speeder was where they left it, right outside the gates of the city. As soon as the droid spotted them, it gave a tiny chirp of recognition and unburied itself from what looked like a tarp.

“Look at you,” Willie praised as they hopped into the back. “You’re so smart! Did you see this, Alex? He hid himself and waited for us! What a loyal little guy.”

“And you say you don’t like crews,” Alex pointed out teasingly. “It looks like you really want to befriend a droid to me.”

“Yeah, but droids are _expensive_ and—” Willie’s expression fell. “Great. I didn’t get my hyperdrive.”

“Well, at least you didn’t get _murdered.”_

“True.” Willie reclined back in his seat beside Alex as they raced back to the spaceport. He tried to keep up the facade of being relaxed, but Alex could tell that was far from the truth.

Willie was terrified.

_So was he._

Alex glanced back towards the city, already growing smaller behind them. Grey smoke had risen to mix with the nearly-orange smog that hung over the city, painting what was such a cool planet red. While the explosions seemed to have stopped, fires remained. Buildings crumbled. Destruction remained.

He looked away.

“Hey,” he called over the winds. “How’s your face?”

“Oh, never been better. I always hoped to get punched in the face. I guess I can check that off the bucket list.”

Alex scoffed and angled his torso so he could examine Willie’s cheek. It was swelling already, not surprisingly. It was going to leave a horrible bruise across his cheekbone. Alex winced in sympathy.

“Do you have an ice compress on the _Phantom?”_ he asked. “You’re going to need it.” Willie nodded. Alex’s gaze dipped to examine the rest of his body for injuries. “Anything else? You didn’t get hit with a blasterbolt and you’re trying to hide it from me, are you?”

Willie laughed. “If anyone was about to get hit with a blasterbolt, it was _you,_ hotdog. Do you know how terrifying that was? I almost….” Willie stopped abruptly. His eyes snapped to his. He cleared his throat. “I mean… you almost got hit. It was terrifying.”

Alex desperately wanted to know what he was going to say — he wanted to know why he changed his mind at the last second — he wanted to know why he looked like he’d just swallowed a live bug.

But he didn’t push.

Instead, he reclined back in his seat, finally putting a few inches of space between him and Willie.

“Yeah, I mean… I was pretty scared too.”

Alex watched him out of the corner of his eye and wondered if _he_ looked as much of a mess as Willie did. He was covered with a thin layer of dust and dirt from all the explosions they raced through and from their time spent rolling on the warehouse’s floor. His hair, which had been put into a ponytail as they headed into the city, had been tugged loose and had more strands framing his face than he did tied back. His cheek was bruising, and his lip was swelling, and his hands were shaking—

Alex had to look away to extinguish the temptation to reach out and take his hand.

What was the big deal? He held his hand before. In fact, his hand was still _warm_ from holding Willie’s hand for so long.

But… that had been when they were terrified and running. This felt different, somehow. He wouldn’t just be holding his hand to make sure they wouldn’t get separated; he’d be holding his hand because _he wanted to hold his hand._

That was crossing a line and he couldn’t do that.

_He wouldn’t._

Alex put more space between him and Willie.

Luckily, he didn’t have to work through any of his thoughts or emotions because the spaceport was coming up quickly and… _something was wrong._

Again.

_Of course it was._

Willie had already begun to get himself ready to leave the speeder, but Alex’s hand shot out to grab him.

“Wait. I… I sense something.”

_It felt good to be able to say that._

Alex’s eyes slid shut. The Force was a _mess,_ but… he could feel a flare from inside the spaceport.

He didn’t have to wonder for long.

_Blaster fire._

It was coming from inside the hanger.

Alex’s grip tightened on Willie’s sleeve, holding him back from racing head-first into the blaster fire. Alex was the first one to leave the speeder, his hands hovering at the jumpsuit’s zipper, already prepared to fumble for his lightsaber if he needed it.

He froze in his tracks as soon as the hanger came into view.

The _Phantom’s_ ramp had been lowered and the crates of fuel extracted for what looked like a routine cargo sweep. Their cargo was sprawled out across the hanger alongside dozens of other ships’.

Clearly, the sweep didn’t go as planned. Cargo was scattered across the hanger messily. Crates laying haphazardly on its side. Contents had been spilled across the floor.

That would’ve been bad enough on its own, but the blaster fire made it worse.

Alex took in the scene quickly. The hanger had been divided in two, with Corellians on one side, and the Empire on the other, all trading fire. The cargo might’ve been extracted from ships for inspections, but were now being used as makeshift shields on both sides of the fight.

Alex’s eyes locked onto the crates that had been extracted from their ship. _The very volatile, very explosive, very dangerous crates._

The fight was drawing closer. Soon, the Empire would be _right on them_ and the crates would be in the middle of the fight. Even now, stray shots whizzed _inches_ above the crates. Time seemed to slow with each one, just as his heart seemed to stop in his chest.

If any blaster shots hit the fuel, they’d all be out of luck.

Alex made a quick decision.

Really, it wasn’t a decision.

_He had no choice._

“Willie. Get inside.”

“Are you— _what!?”_ Willie skidded to a stop at Alex’s side, his eyes wide and chest heaving. He pointed to the destruction in the hanger. “I don’t— I’m not leaving—”

Alex gave him a slight shove in the direction of the _Phantoms_ ramp. “Get inside and get ready for takeoff. We’re getting out of here.”

“But— Takeoff—?”

Willie still hesitated, his eyes locked on the scene in front of him.

_“Willie—”_

“What about you? The fuel—”

Alex stepped in front of him and caught his eye, desperate to convey the severity of the situation. “The fuel is _gone,_ okay? We need to get out before this place _blows.”_

“I—” Willie must’ve realized just how much danger they were in by being so close to blaster fire by fuel because his eyes went wide and his jaw slackened. “What are you going to—”

Alex was already shedding the top half of the jumpsuit. They both flinched as something exploded further into the hanger. It wasn’t fuel — that would’ve caused a larger explosion — but the desolation was nearing.

_No time, no time, no time—_

“Don’t worry about me. Get in. Take off. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Alex—”

He didn’t have time to argue. He managed to wiggle his arms from the sleeves and tie it around his waist. _Finally,_ he could reach the blaster holster against his side and—

“Oh. _Oh.”_ Willie seemed to slow. His eyes widened. His voice lowered. “People are going to _see you._ Are you sure you want to—”

“I’m already a fugitive. What’s the Empire going to do? Hate me more?” Alex asked. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure himself or Willie more. “If a shot hits that fuel, it's game over for all of us. _Including_ those civilians.”

“Are you sure? There isn’t going back after—”

“Willie, _go.”_ Then, softer, “I know what I’m doing.”

(Did he?)

Willie hesitated for the briefest moment more before — _finally_ — he nodded and sprinted to the lowered ramp of _Phantom._

Alex turned to the destruction in front of him, his heart pressed against his chest and his blood rushing through his ears. He blew out a centering breath and reached out with the Force, tugging on connections that he hadn’t felt in weeks.

His hands shook as he reached under his shirt. 

He hoped that this was the right thing to do.

_Really, it was the only thing he could do._

Alex drew out his lightsaber and ignited it.

The roaring blade burst forward, painting the hanger floor at his feet magenta. It was as if _this_ was exactly what his body had been waiting for because, as soon as the lightsaber came to life, something clicked into place in his chest.

_It was familiar, the way he felt the energy radiating up his arm and to his core. It was right, the way his fingers seemed to buzz against the metal. It was safe, the way he felt at home._

Alex let out a shaking breath, taking one last second to relish in the way his lightsaber seemed to brighten the darkest parts of his soul, and then he was racing forward. 

_He moved as quickly as his legs could carry him._

It was a race to shield the crates before they could explode. Not only would _he_ be wiped out if they did, but also the Jedi Order and everyone else in the hanger. It was dangerous, to reveal himself to so many people, but _he couldn't just leave —_ not when he knew he'd be dooming all of these people by doing so.

Alex vaulted over a toppled crate and deflected a rogue blasterbolt seconds before it made impact with the fuel. 

_It was close._

_Too close._

Another stray blasterbolt fired in the direction of the crates. Alex lunged forward and deflected it skywards without blinking.

And another.

_And another._

_And—_

Alex’s mind was abuzz with the Force — so energetic, so bright, so alive. He could _feel_ so much, could _sense_ so much — and it was the only way he was able to anticipate each shot.

It was the only way he was able to keep the hanger from coming down on them.

It took every ounce of his concentration to keep upright and to keep all the emotions reverberating through the Force from overwhelming him completely.

Faintly, he could hear a ripple go through the crowd. The _shock_ in the hanger nearly brought him to his knees. 

Willie was right. There was no going back after this.

_It didn’t matter._

The seconds seemed to _crawl_ by.

Behind him, he could hear the engines of the _Phantom_ powering up. 

The shots fired in his direction somehow managed to _double._ It was a struggle for him to block each one.

Over and over.

Block and deflect.

Block and—

He felt the pulse of the engines behind him, blasting the area with warm air. He’d been around ships long enough to know what it meant.

The _Phantom_ was airborne.

He risked a glance behind himself and, sure enough, the ship was hovering several feet off the ground and rotating for takeoff. 

_Time to go._

In a final attempt to keep the crates from blowing, Alex stretched his hand outward and _pulled_ the largest bundle of cargo towards him. It rolled across the hanger, coming to rest in front of the majority of the fuel.

It would have to do.

Now cut off from view from the rest of the battle, Alex didn’t feel the need to linger.

He sprinted towards the open ramp of the _Phantom,_ his heart pounding and his mind spinning with each step he took. He couldn’t risk looking back — he couldn’t risk slowing down, not even for a second.

He landed sloppily on the edge of the _Phantom’s_ lowered ramp. It was because of his wobbly legs and weak knees that he nearly tilted back over the edge. His slick palms slapped against the metal framing and he hauled himself inside, just as the _Phantom_ began its forward propulsion out of the hanger.

Alex raced through the halls of the ship, his lightsaber once again extinguished and gripped tightly in his fist.

“Go!” he called, hoping Willie could hear him.

He must have because, seconds after he yelled, the ship veered to the right sharply. Alex slammed into the wall. Pain blossomed up his side.

The sound that followed him smacking into the wall probably should’ve been in response to the sharp sting, but it wasn’t.

_He laughed._

Alex laughed as soon as he hit the wall because—

What the hell else was he supposed to do?

That happened.

_All of that._

The resistance on Corellia, the failed plan to find a transport, the other failed plan of getting a hyperdrive, the _other_ failed plan of getting back to the ship safely.

_And the hanger._

The galaxy now knew one Jedi had survived the purge — all because of him.

It was horrible. It was terrifying. It was overwhelming.

_It was also great, too._

He’d just shown the Empire that he was more resilient than they thought; that the Jedi weren’t going to be brought down as easily as anticipated.

But, most important, _they lived_ — he and Willie.

_They had escaped and they were alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild chapter!!!! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	7. CHAPTER VII: THE PHANTOM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a _tad_ long. If you're not a fan of long chapters, I recommend you take a break at the second line break (around halfway through the chapter).
> 
> Enjoy!

Somehow, Alex managed to find his way to the cockpit before they left the atmosphere. His legs were unsteady underneath from the rush of adrenaline. He fell to the co-pilot's seat gracelessly and out of breath.

“Are you okay?” Willie asked immediately. He didn’t dare look away from the controls and risk losing precious seconds. “I heard all the blasters and— If you’re bleeding, I have some bacta in the back, but—”

“I’m fine. The blaster bolts didn’t touch me.” 

Alex joined Willie at the controls, helping him reach all the toggles to prepare them to ascend to orbit. He couldn’t see what they left behind at the spaceport, but he had a pretty good guess. Based on the amount of firing in his direction, he knew  _ nobody  _ in that hangar was happy to see him.

Him — a Jedi.

_ A wanted traitor of the Republic and Empire. _

It was shocking. He spent his whole life being part of something that was regarded so highly. People  _ trusted  _ the Jedi Order. People trusted him to get the job done.

The response in the hangar was a sharp reminder that everything had changed. It wasn’t just the Empire that had been shooting at him, but the Corellians too. And Kres’ reaction at the warehouse — he had been terrified when he realized Alex was a Jedi.

It hit him.

_ He was truly an enemy across the galaxy now. _

“Does the  _ Phantom  _ have any guns?” Alex asked. He scanned the controls, hoping for  _ something  _ — anything, but—

“Dude, this is a  _ freighter.  _ I’m a  _ cargo pilot.  _ No, the  _ Phantom  _ doesn’t have any guns.” Willie finally looked at him, his eyes wide and expression long. “Why? Are we being followed? Are we—”

“No.” 

It was a lie; Alex couldn’t tell if they were being followed or not. He  _ hoped  _ he was right.

Alex was starting to get used to this new galaxy; a galaxy where all they could do was  _ hope. _

“We’re fine. I just want to be prepared,” Alex continued. “The people back there weren’t my biggest fans, exactly.”

Alex could feel Willie’s eyes on the side of his face, wide and shocked. “You just saved their lives though.” He let out a ragged breath. “Wow. You just saved all of their lives.  _ You’re a…  _ You…” 

“They don’t know that,” Alex pointed out, trying to ignore Willie’s amazement. “All they saw was a Jedi standing on some crates. A Jedi that apparently orchestrated the Clones Wars — a war that caused  _ so much harm  _ across the galaxy, leaving nobody unscathed. Their reaction is understandable.”

Willie fell silent.

Alex’s emotions were all over the place. It was confusing, to feel so much all at once. To make things even more complicated, it wasn’t just  _ his  _ emotions that he was feeling either; with his connection to the Force remaining strong, he could feel everyone else’s too.

_ Including Willie’s. _

He was shaken. He could feel his nerves through the Force so crisply that it reminded him of what it felt like to hold a vibrating guitar string. The tension was clear across his shoulders and his fear was written plainly on his features. Alex could even see it in the way his fingers fumbled with the toggles on the dash; the movements that should’ve been familiar to him were sloppy and unchoreographed.

He could barely steady himself, never mind the ship.

Unlike back on Corellia, Alex didn’t hesitate.

He reached out and put his hand on Willie’s.

Willie grew still under his touch.

“It’s okay,” he told him. Their eyes were drawn to each other’s. Willie didn’t pull away. Neither did Alex. “Why don’t you get ice for your face? I’ve got this.”

He laughed humorlessly. “You? You’re going to fly? No offence, but do you know how to fly? I mean, I know you tried to steal my ship and all, but do you  _ really?  _ Because you asking about guns on the ship doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence and—”

Alex simply lifted an eyebrow. “Willie?”

“Hm?”

“Friendly reminder that I was training to be a Jedi Knight. I know how to fly ships.” Willie stilled. Alex squeezed his hand before pulling back. “I’m serious. Go get some ice before it gets worse. I know what I’m doing up here.”

He gave a small nod and a weak smile. Without saying anything else, Willie slipped out from the cockpit, leaving Alex to pilot the ship off of Corellia. The lack of his presence left behind a weight that settled across Alex’s shoulders.

He brushed it off and focused. Despite what he told Willie, he wasn’t confident that they weren’t being followed out of the hanger. It was likely that everybody back there would be too busy with the fight to come after them, but he could be wrong.

_ What would he do if he was wrong? _

For what felt like the thousandth time, Alex wished they had a working hyperdrive. Without it, they were in much more danger. And now, with the hanger back on Corellia knowing he was a Jedi —  _ with the Empire knowing he was a Jedi _ — that danger had grown ten-fold.

Alex was thankful he spent so much time in the cockpit over the last two weeks; it was easy to find the correct levers even though it felt as though his head wasn’t fully attached to his shoulders. His thoughts were as high as the stars, all swirling in an attempt to process what just happened.

He hadn’t felt that frozen, that shocked, that  _ petrified  _ before, but  _ seeing that…  _ seeing the Empire at the helm of the destruction and no Jedi anywhere to be found, it was horrifying.

_ All the horror. _

_ The screaming. _

_ The people. _

Force,  _ the people.  _ Alex had been in horrible situations before, but he had never felt  _ that  _ helpless.

Part of him wished he could go back in time to the second they landed on Corellia, just to give him a chance to do  _ more.  _ To help more people. To do  _ something. _

He was pulled from his musings when Willie re-entered the cockpit, a cloth pressed to his cheek and a half-opened bacta patch hanging from his mouth.

He didn’t say anything.

Neither did Alex.

The weight that had swelled to fill the room didn’t dissipate with his reappearance. In fact, it only seemed to  _ grow.  _ The tension seemed to fill every inch of the ship.

Alex found it difficult to breathe.

He was concerned, more than he’d care to admit. Willie was  _ silent,  _ uncharacteristically so. Maybe they hadn’t known each other for a long time, but Alex  _ knew  _ him. He knew Willie dealt with things by talking — whether that meant talking through a game of holochess, or rambling while floating in space, or making jokes while they were getting robbed. It was something Alex had almost grown  _ fond of  _ over the last few weeks, and this silence… it was  _ eating  _ at him.

_ But what could he say? _

Nothing.

Alex could barely keep himself together — what made him think he’d have  _ any  _ words that could help keep Willie together?

So, he said nothing.

Silence consumed them.

* * *

Alex was struggling to keep his eyes open. The day had sucked every ounce of energy from his bones. With all the adrenaline leaving his veins and the fact that he still hadn’t been sleeping well since Coruscant, he was exhausted.

_ He couldn’t sleep though. _

Not while they were still so close to Corellia — not after he’d revealed himself as a Jedi —  _ not while there was so much suffocating tension in the ship. _

Alex rubbed his shoulder. Now that the adrenaline was bleeding away, the aches from the battles they’d ran through were coming through. That wasn’t the most troubling thing though.

He blew out a long breath and glanced at the entrance of the cockpit, looking in the direction that Willie had disappeared to over an hour ago.

He’d been tempted to leave the co-pilot seat ever since Willie had called it in for the night. He’d been tempted to go back to the living quarters and  _ be  _ with him. He was tempted to go talk with him.

No, it wasn’t just a temptation. It was a need. A need that had wound its way into his bones and pierced his soul. It plagued his every thought.

_ He needed to talk with Willie. _

It was something that they both promised each other back on Corellia, but neither had approached. Alex knew he owed Willie answers —  _ he really did  _ — but… It was so  _ hard. _

He could picture Willie clearly in that moment. The echoes of his emotions were ringing in Alex’s chest. The panic. The terror. The dread. It made his stomach roll, knowing that Willie had felt all of that — and felt it so strongly too. 

Knowing that he was all alone in the living quarters made it worse.

_ He wanted to help. _

Alex blew out a long breath of air and did another sweep of the ship’s systems. They were all running smoothly. The navs were set. He hadn’t had to use any evasive maneuvers since they exited Corellia’s atmosphere. He hadn’t seen another ship since the hanger. The toggle for autopilot was  _ right there.  _

It could be so easy.

Just one flip of the switch. Just a few steps down the hallway.

_ Screw it. _

Alex flipped the switch and stood from his seat without a second thought.

All he could think about as he walked to the back of the ship was the fact that he was  _ so nervous.  _ He hid the shake of his hands by crossing his arms. He willed his heart rate to even out. Willie wouldn’t be able to hear the rush of his blood, right?

He found the pilot right where he expected him. He was curled up on the couch, the blanket that almost strangled Alex wrapped around his shoulders, with a cup of tea in hand. The lack of steam rising from the cup spoke to just how long Willie had been sitting there, staring at nothing.

Willie looked uneasy from what he could tell — his forehead creased, his lips pulled tight, the couch shaking with each bounce of his leg. Alex could sense his trepidation through the Force without even intending to.

It looked as though that whatever Willie did in life, he did it full-in.  _ No hesitations. No holding back.  _ His life-force was brighter than all the stars, and his emotions — he felt them with the intensity of a plasma core. 

Including the ones he was feeling now.

“Hey,” Alex greeted, keeping his voice soft. Willie acknowledged him with a quick smile. “Everything’s on track. We’re bound to arrive on Tinnel in a few days.”

It didn’t seem possible, but the tension grew. Alex could feel the abrupt shift in the atmosphere, with the temperature seeming to dip and the air seeming to thicken.

“Right. Tinnel.” Willie took a long sip of his tea. “That’s great.”

From the way he said it, Alex truly doubted that.

Needing something to do with his hands, Alex reached for Willie’s cup. “Can I heat that up for you? Cold tea kinda sucks.”

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” 

Alex tried to think of something to say as he moved around  _ Phantom’s  _ small kitchen. He needed something to break the tension, something to comfort him.

When Alex brought Willie ice with a cloth wrapped around it, he spoke. 

“Hey, uh… Willie? Are you okay?”

_ What a ridiculous question to ask. _

Of course he wasn’t okay. Alex didn’t need to be Force sensitive to tell that. It was written plainly across his face and body language. It was  _ so blatantly clear  _ from the way he was wrapped in the weighted blanket and from the way he held his cooling tea.

_ He was not okay. _

_ Neither was Alex. _

“Hm?” Willie fiddled with the end of the cloth nervously. “Oh. Fine. I’m cool. Just… chilling my face. Aha. Get it? I’m  _ cool. _ Because of the ice?”

Alex didn’t laugh.

Neither did Willie.

Seconds later, the pilot deflated.

“Yeah. I mean… no. I’m just…” He chose his words carefully.  _ “That was the first time I saw it.  _ A battle. Explosions.  _ All those people? The Empire?”  _ He met Alex’s gaze. “I just… I guess I wasn’t expecting that.  _ Any  _ of that.”

He hadn’t been expecting any of that either.

Alex desperately searched for the right words. What could he say? What could he say to make Willie feel okay when what they just went through was very much not okay? He wanted to get this right —  _ Force,  _ he wanted to get this right. He wanted to be able to comfort Willie, even just the slightest bit.

“It was a lot.”

_ Nope,  _ that wasn’t good enough.  _ He knew that wasn’t good enough. _

What were the right words? What words would Willie want to hear?

But… Alex didn’t want to just tell him what he wanted to hear. He wanted the words to be as genuine as Willie was. He didn’t want his words to just be hollow sounds in a desperate attempt to placate.

He wanted to comfort him — and he wanted that to come from the deepest parts of his soul.

_ Even if that meant opening up. _

_ Even if that meant delving into emotions he didn't want to think about. _

_ Even if that meant not running. _

“Listen… I…” Alex blew out a long breath and sunk to the couch beside him. “I was scared back there.  _ Really scared.  _ That’s something I was always taught not to feel.  _ No fear.  _ Absolutely no fear. But… I was scared because that’s terrifying. The whole galaxy is terrifying. I’ve been  _ terrified  _ ever since Coruscant and seeing what just happened back there? I just… I understand your fear. I understand because that same fear is in me. And it’s  _ terrifying.” _

Willie reached for him, bridging the space between them, and grasped his hand.

Holding hands with Willie was nice.

“It’s okay to be scared.”

Was it though?

Fear was just the beginning. Fear led to places he was desperate not to go to. Fear was part of the path to the dark side.

It was difficult to see a world in which fear was okay.

Alex could still sense Willie’s apprehension. He dug a little deeper, stirred up memories he wanted to forget, tried to find the right words.

“The first time I saw something like that… I had nightmares about it for a long time. I  _ still  _ have nightmares about it.”

There was a brief pause.

Willie shifted closer. 

“Tell me about it.” 

Alex’s eyes snapped to his. 

Willie's expression was unreadable. He faltered. “If you want to, I mean. I get it if you—”

“My first battle was the day the Clone Wars began,” Alex said without any hesitation. It was where he spent his last three years, besides training at the Temple and mandatory rest weeks. He’d been _out there;_ on missions, fighting battles, providing relief. He continued, his throat tight and mind flooded with memories. “I was fourteen.”

_ “Fourteen?” _

“I was a Padawan and a Commander of the Grand Army of the Republic. My Master… she was the one in charge, really, but there was  _ so much  _ going on that day and…” Alex scrubbed a hand across his face. “I met the battalion of clones assigned to my Master and, not even  _ hours later,  _ I was out in the field with them, fighting the droid army.”

“You were leading an army, and… you were fourteen?? You were just a kid!”

Alex cast a long look at Willie. “Now you know how I felt when you said you were out on your own at seven?”

He puffed out his cheeks. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t  _ really  _ on my own, but—”

“And I wasn’t really leading an army.” Alex shrugged. “It’s what I was trained to do. And yet…  _ I was a wreck.” _

“Well, you were fourteen, so—”

“I trained for it. I mean,  _ barely,  _ but I did. I’d only been called up and chosen by my Master a few weeks earlier. I wasn’t exactly a super wanted Padawan — something about me not doing great under pressure — so I was, uh… not the first pick out of my cohort. But, with the Clone Wars brewing and conflicts breaking out more frequently, I was chosen.” He cleared his throat. It was incredible, just how much it  _ hurt  _ to talk about. “The battle itself was horrible. I was shadowed by some of the clones that day so I didn’t get completely lost in the chaos.” He could barely speak through the tightness of his throat and the pain in his chest. “Their names were Ikes and Oma.”

_ He wondered what happened to them. _

_ He wondered if they turned, just as all the clones in the Temple had. _

_ He wondered if they had been planning the betrayal from the beginning.  _ Had they spent all those years together — fighting side-by-side, protecting each other, laughing with each other — knowing that  _ this  _ was coming?

That their lives would lead them to opposite ends of the battle field?

Or, more accurately, that their lives would lead them to opposite ends of a blaster?

Alex cleared his throat. “It doesn’t matter. I brought it up because I’m trying to say that  _ I get it.  _ The first time I saw a battle… I  _ sobbed.  _ After the battle was done, I was just  _ terrified  _ and… I get it. It’s a lot. I’ve been through  _ years  _ of battles and yet...  _ I was a wreck back there.  _ Even for someone who’s been out there for three years, it can be a lot.”

It was the first time Alex had spoken these words out loud —  _ ever.  _ He could’ve told his Master because  _ she was like a mother to him,  _ but he never did. He never wanted to make her doubt him.

The only other person he told was the other Padawans, the ones he grew up with. Luke. Bobby. They were more than just acquaintances — they were his  _ brothers.  _ They knew all parts of his soul — parts that nobody else got to see.

_ Nobody else except Willie, now. _

Maybe Willie could tell just how much it meant for Alex to tell him this because...  _ his expression;  _ it was one Alex hadn’t seen before. So soft, so caring, so…  _ Willie. _

“Thank you for telling me that,” he said, “It must be hard to talk about.”

Alex wasn’t sure if he was referring to the fact that everyone in his stories and in his memories were all dead or had betrayed him, or if he was referring to the fact that old battles were hard to relieve.

“Yeah,” he said, “it is.”

Because, either way, Willie was right.

It was hard.

All he could do to keep himself from falling to pieces completely was inhale deeply and release all the built up emotions into the galaxy. The emptiness left behind was chilling, but it was better than all that suffering, and all the fear, and all the anger he would be feeling otherwise.

_ No fear. No anger. No suffering. _

It was the way of the Jedi.

“Right. Your tea.”

Alex was thankful that he remembered Willie’s tea, still in the kitchen across the room, because it gave him a few seconds to catch his breath and push away any last remaining emotions away from Willie’s careful gaze.

Again, he sucked in breath after breath. The scent of Willie’s tea was pungent and grounding. The warmth of the mug reminded him of the warm sand of a desert planet pressed against his skin.

When he handed it over to Willie, he forced himself to say  _ something  _ to explain why he was grasping the mug handle so tightly.

“It smells good.”

Willie lifted an eyebrow and pushed the mug back in his hands. “Try. It’s meiloorun fruit. I got it a few years ago when my crew and I found a full orchard.” Alex brought the mug to his lips, ignoring the way Willie’s eyes watched him for a reaction, and took a long sip. “Good, right?”

“Meiloorun is rare.”

Willie snorted and took back his mug. “That’s not the response I was looking for. You didn’t even answer my question. It’s that bad?”

“What? No. I just…. Yeah, it’s good.” Alex lowered himself to the couch. “Is it normal for there to be an aftertaste or did I just screw up your tea by reheating it?”

“Nah, dude, you’re good. It’s called second snack.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Willie took a dramatically loud sip from the mug and grinned. “It’s  _ delicious.”  _

Alex laughed. He chalked it up to the fact that the tensions in the ship had eased. It had nothing to do with the way Willie was looking at him with a big goofy grin.

_ Absolutely not. _

Willie flashed a shit eating grin. “So. I was right.”

“Huh?” Alex asked. “Right about what?”

“Come on, Alex.” His voice dropped to a whisper. He leaned forward dramatically.  _ “You’re a Jedi.  _ That’s like… a big deal, man. You’re, like,  _ super cool.” _

“You do realize that you just called me cool, right? Me. Me?”

Willie rolled his eyes. “You’re still a dork, don’t get me wrong, but…  _ yeah.  _ You are cool. You’re the knight in shining armour that everyone else grows up hearing about.”

“Oh, am I your knight in shining armour?”

_ He didn’t know why he just said that. _

Alex’s mouth snapped shut. His cheeks burned. He opened his mouth again to do some damage control, but words were refusing to form, and—

Willie grinned, so wide that it made him wince and press the ice to his skin a little harder. “Dude. You are  _ definitely _ my knight in shining armour.” He reclined back in his seat, looking so at ease.  _ How could he look so calm when Alex’s heart was about to rip from his chest?  _ “You saved us back there, you know, with your whole… power thing.” He shook his head in awe. “You  _ did that,  _ Alex. Like. Wow.  _ Holy shit.” _

Willie was a mix of amusement and awe. Alex desperately tried to match his amusement, despite his heart racing and his stomach flipping, so he could forget how  _ awkward  _ that had been for a moment.

“I thought you knew?” Alex teased. “Back at the warehouse, you were so nonchalant and told me that you already knew.”

“Yeah, but  _ it’s different seeing it.  _ You… You did the whole…” Willie waved his fingers again. “What is that called?”

“What?”

“The magic.”

“It’s not magic.”

“It sure looked like magic.”

“Well, it’s not. It’s called the Force.”

Willie laughed. “I know that much, but… You  _ grabbed  _ that blaster out of mid-air. You have a  _ lightsaber.”  _ He stared at Alex for a long moment, completely unmoving. Alex could feel his shock radiating off of him in waves. “Tell me you see how cool this is. You do  _ magic.” _

Alex pursed his lips. “It’s not magic. I’m not a magician.”

“Oh, I know.  _ You’re a Jedi.”  _

Willie sounded absolutely  _ giddy. _

“I think I lost my title of knight in shining armour back on Corellia. Maybe you’re the knight, Willie; you were the one to throw the first punch.”

“Yeah, because I thought I had to protect  _ you!” _

Alex’s playful mood disappeared. His gaze shot to Willie’s busted lip and bruised cheek. Even his hand looked injured, from the way he held it to his chest.

Something shifting inside of him.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said simply. “I could’ve—”

“What? Oh. No. I didn’t mean it like that.” The grin was wiped from Willie’s face quickly. “I was just kidding. I know why you couldn’t just walk around with your laser sword out and with your magic fingers waving.”

“Yeah, but—”

“I get it.” Willie’s knee bumped against his. Their eyes were drawn together. “You told me yourself, Alex; you’re in trouble. You’re hiding. I always guessed why, but… now I know for sure, and I get it.  _ I really do.  _ It’s serious.”

Alex nodded his head slowly.

Yeah. It was.

“Besides,” he continued easily, still looking as playful as before, “knowing that you’re a Jedi doesn’t  _ change  _ anything. I’m still going to protect you.  _ Always.  _ You’re still technically under my protection for as long as you stay on the  _ Phantom  _ and, well… you’re my friend.”

_ Friend. _

Alex’s throat closed up around that word.

_ Willie was his friend? _

Oblivious to his shock, Willie continued. “So, it’s fine. Broken face or not. Lying to the Empire or otherwise. It’s worth it for you.”

Alex’s mind latched onto a specific word.

_ Lying. _

He had been lying to Willie for  _ weeks  _ about who he was. And now he was saying they were friends? It made him  _ sick. _

“Willie…” Alex could barely form the words. “I just… I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I lied to you. About a lot. About… about who I am, where I came from,  _ my name.  _ That’s— I’m sorry. That’s not okay.”

Willie stared at him for a long moment, his expression softening the slightest bit. The corner of his lip pulled up into a smile. Finally, he reached across the small space and laid a hand on his knee.

“I get it, Alex.  _ I do.  _ You’re in a tight spot. I’m just… I’m a stranger, really. Why trust me?” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “My problem is always the opposite. I trust people too easily. I just… I trust that people are  _ good,  _ you know, and it always comes around to get me.  _ Always.  _ You made a good choice not telling me.”

Alex rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to keep himself from fracturing at the thoughts entering his mind.

“My Master told me not to tell anybody,” he said. “She told me not to trust anybody with this. I already  _ failed her  _ back on Corellia. All of those people — they know now. The Empire knows. I— I don’t even know what that means for me.”

Alex almost didn’t want to think about it.

_ Actions have consequences.  _ Even though he wouldn’t go back and change his reaction on Corellia,  _ he still had to deal with the consequences. _

He just revealed himself to be one of the last remaining Jedi to the very people trying to wipe them out.

“I don’t know anything about the Jedi who trained you, but… I think she’d be pretty proud of you,” Willie determined. Alex could sense how genuine he was, and he wondered how he could be so sure. “You saved a bunch of people back there.”

Alex couldn’t speak again.

It was all such a horrible and unavoidable reminder of just how  _ alone  _ he was. He was one of the  _ lone  _ Jedi in a galaxy that used to have  _ ten thousand.  _ He used to be part of something bigger, something grander, something  _ good. _

Now, it was just him.

_ And he missed Master Harrison. _

Not wanting to even  _ think  _ about all the people he had lost, he quickly changed subjects. “How did you know? How’d you figure it out?”

Willie laughed at that. Truly, fully laughed. It was embarrassing, just to see how hard Willie cracked up.

“Dude, I don’t know how to tell you this, but… you had a  _ blaster wound  _ in your side when we met on Coruscant. You told me that you were in danger and needed to stay under the radar. I mean, I didn’t get it then, but when the news broke about the Jedi? It made sense. The Jedi were declared traitors. They were being hunted. And you… you had clearly been through a lot. It just made sense.”

Alex swallowed thickly. He hadn’t thought of that.

“And then there were other things, too. The way that you somehow managed to avoid detection on Abregado-rae? That was the biggest give away.”

“But you didn’t say anything. You never even  _ hinted  _ that you knew. I don’t get it.  _ Why?” _

Willie shrugged. “You didn’t want me to know. So, I didn’t know.”

_ He was so good that it made Alex ache. _

There weren’t many people in the galaxy like him — at least not from what he had seen.

Willie was just  _ good.  _ Loyal. Kind. Genuine. Vulnerable.  _ And there was a fierceness to him too —  _ a fierceness that made him throw punches and run through explosions for his friends.

_ Friends. _

They were friends.

Alex cleared his throat. It was so hard to say this. He’d never been good with  _ emotions  _ or being  _ open  _ or… really, anything like this. But Willie deserved to know.

_ He deserved to know. _

“Thank you,” Alex said, his voice wobbling. “You’re a good friend, Willie.  _ A really good friend.”  _ That was enough emotion for one day, and Alex quickly shifted to something lighter — something easier to hide behind. He forced out a laugh. “And, as your friend, I need to tell you that you should be more freaked out right now.”

“Oh?”

“I mean, I am one of the most wanted in the galaxy right now.”

“Old news, man.”

“I am a supposed traitor to the Republic and the Empire.”

“I didn’t believe that in the first place — you heard me the other day. And I have a feeling. I can’t explain it, but… you’re a good person, Alex. I felt it the moment we first met. You’re  _ good.” _

Still, Alex tried to convince him.

“I’m dangerous. Or… _not even just me,_ but being around me is dangerous, Willie. The Empire is after me. They’re not going to stop until all the Jedi are dead. They won’t stop looking for me until I’m dead. They’re going to see you as collateral damage if you’re caught in the middle. I—” He breathed out. He forced his heart to settle. “You should be running.”

“It’s like I told you before. I’m not running away.”

Alex looked away. “That’s not logical.”

“So? Does it have to be logical to be right? Don’t you just…  _ know  _ things? Don’t you get gut feelings like this?”

“That’s different.”

“Is it?”

Alex tilted his head to look at Willie. He really was stubborn. And cocky. He knew he already won — Alex could tell by the smug smile on his face. It was the exact expression he wore while playing holochess.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “You think I’m a good person.”

“No, I  _ know _ you are.” You wanna know how I know you’re a good person?” Willie lifted the corner of his blanket. “You only ever use this blanket if I’m already asleep because you know it’s my favourite one. You’re considerate.”

“Or I like being able to use my lungs.”

Willie pulled a face. “Excuse me, this blanket is  _ amazing.  _ I’ll show you.” He kicked up the far corner of the blanket. It landed on Alex’s lap with a dull thud. “See? Fantastic. The weight of it? It makes you forget you’re floating through a vacuum with no gravity.”

“The weight to it is nice,” Alex admitted. He adjusted it across his lap.  _ “But,  _ I counter you with  _ fluffy  _ blankets.”

Willie didn’t respond. He simply reclined back on the couch and beamed at him.

It was nice, sitting together.

_ Too bad he had to go and ruin it. _

Alex looked away. “Listen, Willie… Even when I’m gone, if people ever found out that you helped me, you’re going to be in danger. Those people back on Corellia… I don’t think they saw your ship, but—”

“Woah. When you’re gone?” Willie shot upwards. The laugh that followed was forced. “What do you mean? Where are you going?”

“Uh…” Alex was confused. Didn’t he already tell him this? “Currently, Tinnel. I’ll catch a transport—”

“Oh. Right. Tinnel.”

Now, Alex was  _ very  _ confused.

Why did he say that like the word was going to bite him?

“What’s wrong with Tinnel? It’s the closest planet that I know has a decent sized cantina because…” Willie was  _ staring  _ at Alex. It made him falter. “What? What’s wrong?”

“‘What’s wrong with Tinnel?’” Willie echoed. “Dude, are you…  _ Alex.  _ What’s wrong with—  _ everything’s wrong with Tinnel.” _

Alex blinked. “Uhm, okay, I guess I can set the navs for the next system, but—”

Willie flung himself backwards and groaned, nearly sending himself over the edge of the couch. Alex was desperately trying to put all of the pieces together, but  _ he didn’t understand.  _ He thought Tinnel was a decent planet the last time he was there, and he wasn’t going to be too picky about his options, but—

“Are you kidding me, hotdog?” Willie almost looked  _ offended.  _ “After all of that and you’re just going to…. You still plan on just  _ leaving?” _

Willie didn’t just  _ look  _ offended now — he  _ was.  _ Alex could feel it. He could  _ see  _ it.

He was upset.

It caused Alex’s chest to tighten.

“What? Isn’t that… Isn’t that the plan?”

“No. We’re stuck together now. Sorry. I don’t make the rules. We almost got robbed together, so now we stay together.”

“What? That’s not a rule, Willie, and—”

“Well, it’s  _ my  _ rule.” He frowned. “You expect me to just— what? Drop you off?  _ Leave?” _

“You were going to do that on Corellia.” What could be so different now, not even a few hours later?

Willie scoffed. “That was different. That was  _ before…  _ It was before…” He struggled for words. Finally, he gave up. “It was just  _ different,  _ okay? You were a guest and it was all temporary, and now—”

Alex lifted an eyebrow in challenge. “I’m still a guest and it’s still temporary.”

_ “And now it’s different.”  _ Willie’s expression softened. “I…  _ I care about you, Alex.  _ You’re important to me.” Alex tried his very best to ignore the way his heart stopped at that. “We’re friends, alright? And now that I know the truth about you — the full truth — how do you expect me to let you go out there alone? When you’re in danger?”

“For exactly that reason,” Alex argued, “because I’m in danger. We don’t even  _ know  _ each other!” He realized how horrible that sounded a second after the words were out of his mouth. “I mean, you said it yourself. We’re strangers. I’m just a guest — I’ve always been a guest and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

“What if I want you to be more?” Willie looked away. Alex tried to ignore the way his words made him feel. He tried to ignore all of his thoughts —  _ his horrible thoughts  _ — because  _ he couldn’t begin to unpack all of that.  _ He couldn’t. “I want you to be  _ a friend.  _ I wanted you to be on  _ Phantom’s  _ crew, and I still want that.”

“I’m a fugitive. I’m being hunted.”

“Well, my ideal career was never smuggling, but…” He shrugged and grinned, showing him that it was all in jest. “I already have the smuggler’s hold, don’t I? And I have  _ you,  _ who can apparently sneak by life-form scans, so basically, we’re all set.” 

Alex gave him a long look. 

He was unwavering. 

Willie was unwavering too. 

Willie inched forward, coming to sit on the edge of his seat. “Alex… This is the right thing to do. I’ve never felt better about anything before in my life. I trusted you when you were covered in blood and trying to steal my ship on Coruscant. I trust you now,  _ and I know you trust me.  _ Right? You trust me?”

Once again, Alex was called upon to tell the truth — to be open — to be vulnerable.

He didn’t have to think about it. He already knew.

“Yes,” Alex said. “I trust you.”

_ And he did. _

At first, that trust was born out of necessity, but  _ now— _

Now, it was something Willie had  _ earned.  _ It was something that Alex was going to  _ give to him  _ by choice, not because it was the only option.

Alex trusted Willie.

_ It was as simple as that. _

“Good. I’m glad you trust me.” Willie’s gaze was intense. Alex felt as though his whole soul was bare despite not saying a word. “I’m going to make sure I see this through. We’re in this together — whatever ‘this’ is. Okay?”

Alex looked away, unable to handle the emotions reflected in Willie’s eyes.

_ He looked to the ceiling of the  _ Phantom  _ and thought of the stars, just out of sight. _

There were so many out there, little flashes in the darkness. So many stars, so many planets, so many people. 

_ And he just so happened to bump into this one.  _ This heart-wrenchingly  _ good  _ one.

Alex could sense his authenticity through the Force. It was there, as bright as Willie’s life-force, as pure as a flame.  _ Willie wanted to help him. _

And, if he was being honest with himself, he wanted Willie to help him, too.

(And, Force, that was hard to admit.)

He didn’t want to leave Willie back on Corellia. He had been tempted to accept his offer to join  _ Phantom’s  _ crew. He’d been  _ sad  _ — so  _ sad  _ — at the thought of saying goodbye to him. He  _ liked  _ being around Willie, more than he’d care to admit. 

Besides, wasn’t it the responsible thing to do? To stick around? Willie’s ship was last seen leaving Corellia with a Jedi. Who knew what was to come of that. Alex might’ve been afraid of putting Willie in danger, but there was a chance that he already was because of what happened on Corellia.

All logic and feelings pointed to him staying.

So, why was he trying so hard to run from this?

(Maybe it was because there had been a very limited number of people that had come into his life that he’d felt this way about — this fondness, this caring, this protectiveness — and it was  _ terrifying  _ to think Willie had breached his walls in such a short amount of time.)

(Maybe it was because he was taught that any attachment was forbidden — that these strong emotions were gateways to the dark side. Maybe he was scared that he was headed down a dark path.)

He didn’t know,  _ but he was tired of running. _

“Okay,” Alex said. “I’ll stay.”

Willie smiled. There was a bright burst of joy that radiated through the Force. 

“Okay,” he agreed.

This was real.

They were doing this.

Alex breathed out a sigh of relief and settled back onto the couch.

* * *

Alex didn’t know where he was.

He blinked rapidly to clear his vision. It was as if he was looking through a reflecting pool of water, with the image as fragile as liquid and the colours as cool as ice. 

It was obvious that he was in a ship; the pressure building in his ears was as familiar as the force on his body that came with a landing. Whoever owned the ship wasted no expense when it came to decorating; flashy jewels and shiny metals covered every inch of the interior. There was a crest above the door - one he didn’t recognize.

One thing was for sure; these weren’t his memories.

He had never been here before. 

He had never seen the man in the centre of the ship before either. 

_ It was a Force vision. _

Alex glanced around, desperate to find the reason why the Force decided to show him this. The Force might’ve been deceiving and hard to work out at times, but it always had a reason.

_ Why was he here? _

The man paced around his ship nervously. Alex could feel it through the Force, just how jittery he was. Although, it was less heavy and suffocating than nervousness born from fear, and more nervousness born from anticipation.

He was excited.

Alex took him in. Slicked back hair. Formal suit. No weapons on him.

He wasn’t a Jedi.

The man turned and—

_ Oh. _

He was younger than he thought. He looked like he could’ve been Alex’s age. The suit he wore looked suffocating on him now that he could see his expression, like he was drowning in the mess of fabrics. 

His nerves and excitement grew as the ship touched down. His hand tapped a pattern on his legs. His eyes darted around the room. He hummed to himself, low and quiet - so quiet that Alex had to strain his ears to hear it above the sounds of the engines whirling to a stop and the chatter of the pilots in the cockpit.

The ramp lowered. Light spilled into the cabin. The man straightened and-

Alex lurched backwards. His hand flew to the lightsaber resting at his side on instinct. His vision narrowed to a tunnel and the world washed away with the thunder of blood rushing through his ears because—

Waiting on the platform were two clone troopers. 

He froze as soon as he realized they weren’t attacking. Their blasters were held in a rest position and their backs were pointed towards the ship, as if they were  _ protecting  _ them, not turning on them.

It was as it used to be, before the day they betrayed the Jedi.

_ This vision must’ve been a glimpse of the past. _

“Your Majesty.”

The man took a deep bow in the mouth of his ship and Alex’s gaze was drawn away from the clone troopers. Several feet away, framed by two additional clone troopers, stood a single figure. 

_ A woman. _

She looked just as put together as the man in the ship, yet looked strikingly more at home in her clothing than he did. Even though Alex didn’t know who she was, it was easy to take a guess based on the way the man addressed her and the crown perched on her head.

She must’ve been part of the planet’s royal family.

She let out a tiny scoff, surged forward, and tugged on the man’s shoulder.

“Stop it,” she said, her tone amused. “You’re trying to embarrass me.”

“Me? Embarrass you? Never.” 

He straightened. They looked at each other for a long moment. Then, they both let out joyous laughs and lunged for each other. He practically engulfed her with a hug — a hug that she returned with equal force. 

Alex shifted awkwardly, feeling as though he was intruding on a private moment between close friends. Finally, the man spoke, his voice muffled from her shoulder.

“I missed you, Julie.”

_ Julie.  _

Her name was Julie.

_ “Please,”  _ the woman — Julie — said. “It was so boring here without you. Promise me that you’ll never leave again.”

“Next time I go to Coruscant, you’re coming with me. You thought you had it bad? They didn’t even have pizza there.  _ Pizza!” _

Julie pulled away and rolled her eyes. “Wow. The horror.”

“It is horrifying!”

“Oh, I’m sure.” 

Together, they stepped onto the platform, leaving the ship behind. The door began to swing closed. Alex lunged forward, his heart pounding and ears ringing.

“My dad’s waiting for us. Come on, Reggie—”

Alex blinked. He was encased in darkness as the door sealed shut. The world around him shifted dramatically. 

_ Nothingness. _

There was nothingness around him. He could sense it through the Force; where there had been the light of life-forces blinking back at him now sat  _ darkness,  _ as if it had all been swept away by a tidal wave of—

_ Waves. _

Alex sucked in a deep breath and spun, trying to find the source of the  _ crashing water  _ in the distance. It was pitch black out — darker than the vastness of space. There wasn’t just  _ nothing  _ around him, but it felt as if the world was being swallowed completely.

He fumbled for his lightsaber, desperate to feel  _ something  _ in this vast ocean of nothing. The blade burst to life in his hands, casting long shadows across—

“Run!  _ Run!” _

The world slowed to a stop around Alex. His muscles turned to stone and the air in his mouth turned to dust because—

That voice.

Those words.

_ This feeling. _

Alex barely had time to register the sudden appearance of the rain; pounding against his skin, and stealing his breath, and filling his mouth was familiar. It was familiar, even if it was just a ghost of a memory — a memory that wasn’t his — a memory that he’d already experienced through the Force.

“It’s a trap!  _ Don’t—” _

The words were just as familiar as the rain soaking him.

He had been here before.

This time, he had another piece of the puzzle.

_ That voice. _

It was the same one from the platform only seconds ago.

“Julie!” Alex called out. He stepped forward. Like smoke, the world appeared around him — piece by piece — shadow by shadow. His knuckles ached from how tightly he gripped his lightsaber. His head throbbed from trying to reach out with the Force, from straining to see the full picture.  _ “Julie!” _

She couldn’t hear him.

_ Of course she couldn’t hear him.  _ He wasn’t really there.

Alex leapt into the air when the crack of a lightsaber igniting filled the air, cutting through the thunderous downpour easily. Just like last time, a blue lightsaber painted a silhouette at the base of the platform. 

It was as if it breathed life into the world around him, ripping away the darkness all at once.

_ There. _

Three figures stood on the opposite end of the platform, their backs towards the hanger Alex saw in the previous vision. He immediately recognized one figure as Julie, even though she was hidden with the dark cloak pulled tight around her face. The other figure took him a beat long.

_ Reggie. _

He looked different without the formal wear from earlier — younger, too, and  _ terrified. _

Alex moved forward, needing to get to their side, needing to do  _ something  _ to help because  _ they were scared and in danger and— _

He didn’t make it a single step in their direction.

The moment the red lightsaber ignited mere inches in front of their silhouettes, Alex was plunged downward. The platform had turned to ash underneath his feet and he plummeted. 

_ Down, down, down— _

It felt as though organs were left above him as he fell. A scream was ripped from his throat, but no echo followed. He hit water below violently, washing away all sense of time and space.

Water rushed around him, pushing what breath remained in his chest, shocking his system with ice encasing him, filling him with a different type of primal panic—

.

He woke gasping.

Alex clutched at his chest and wheezed. The couch was firm under his legs, and the blanket was warm across his torso, and the air was crisp in his lungs, but—

_ It felt like he was still back there. _

Still back underwater, still back on the platform, still surrounded by heavy darkness.

He didn’t know them. Reggie and Julie.  _ He had never seen them before.  _ But the Force was making it perfectly clear.

They were in danger. 

He sunk back to the couch, his heart still pounding and his chest still heaving. 

Another thing the Force vision made exceptionally clear was that  _ he was wrong.  _ Alex had assumed that Reggie was the name of the Jedi Knight, but  _ he wasn’t.  _ He was the one beside Julie — the woman yelling — and they were both behind the red blade.

He had been confused before because he never heard of a Jedi Knight named Reggie. Then again, there were nearly ten thousand Jedi across the galaxy. It wasn’t shocking that he didn’t know this one.

But now he got it.

_ Reggie wasn’t the Jedi; he was the one being rescued. _

He was back to square one with the Jedi Master, the one with the blue blade.

Really, that was the last thing on his mind this time. 

_ All he could think about was Julie and Reggie.  _

The difference between the two Force visions was striking and haunting. They looked so  _ happy  _ and  _ free  _ in the first vision — the one where they were dressed formally and slammed into each other with a hug strong enough to move the sun. And, in that last vision — the one with the rain and the red blade — they were absolutely terrified.

_ It was a terror that could curdle blood, and rip souls, and shake one to their bones. _

He could feel echoes of the vision in his chest and through the Force. He could feel the darkness winding its way from the shadows and around his fingers. He could feel the chill from the icy ocean along his spine. He  _ swore  _ he could’ve tasted the rain on his lips.

_ And, he could hear their screams.  _ Their panic. Their fear.

Alex got up from the couch, needing to do something with all the adrenaline in his veins. Beneath him, his legs shook, but  _ he didn’t care.  _ He needed to be moving, needed to be doing something because  _ doing nothing was torture. _

Knowing that he was trapped on this ship for  _ weeks  _ until they reached the next planet — a Rimma warehouse for fuel and repairs — it made him feel  _ restless.  _ These people were out there, clearly needing help, and he knew  _ nothing  _ about them.

Back at the Temple, he would’ve gone to his Master about this already. He probably would’ve visited Master Yoda to discuss and dissect every aspect of what he had seen. He would’ve spent days in the libraries, looking through pages on the HoloNet and through texts to find this planet with a double moon, or to find a royal family that included a woman named Julie. He would’ve already organized a whole mission to this planet to ensure the safety of both of them.

Without the Jedi Order — without all the knowledge housed in the Temples and carried in the minds of Masters —  _ he didn’t have any of that. _

And he didn’t know what to do.

_ He couldn’t do anything.  _ That was the worst part. He couldn’t do anything about it.

Alex sucked in breath after breath and tried to settle his soul.

It was easier said than done.

With swirling thoughts of Force visions, and pangs of hopelessness, and feeling utterly  _ lost,  _ it was nearly impossible. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he paused and leaned over the holochess table. His hands pressed firmly into the smooth metal. His head dipped between his shoulders. He focused on not losing himself in the emotions in the Force — including the darkness and heaviness his vision unearthed.

For the first time in a long time, Alex knew what he wanted in that moment. Really, it was what he  _ needed  _ — what he  _ craved.  _ He knew the feelings that came with being beside him — the feeling of being safe, the ease that came with sharing a burden with someone, that warmth.

Alex glanced towards the back bunks.

_ He shouldn’t. _

_ He really shouldn’t— _

Screw it.

Alex pushed off the holochess table and quietly made his way to the back bunks. He’d only been back here once to grab the spare Rimma jumpsuit of Willie’s back on Corellia, and Alex immediately felt like an outsider in the space. Willie was  _ everywhere;  _ in the way the walls were plastered with schematics of ships and star maps, in the way that his clothing was strewn around the small room, in the way that it smelt so strongly of him.

The room itself was small. There was only enough room for a single sized bunk on each side, with a narrow path down the middle. Alex had to turn sideways and shuffle between the beds to avoid whacking Willie’s outstretched hand.

It was when Alex was standing in the middle of the room that he decided this was a mistake.

With the curtain to the living quarters pushed open, a thin strip of light was painted up the side of the bunk on the left of the room — the bed Willie was currently asleep on. It was just enough light to make out the steady rise and fall of his back. It was endearing, in a way, to see how  _ messy  _ he looked in that moment, with his hair plastered across his face and his arm hanging over the edge of the bed.

This was weird, right?

It felt weird.

Alex slowly lowered himself to the end of the free bed, his eyes wandering up to stare at the ceiling. He tried to reassure himself that this was fine — Willie had told him he was welcome in the bunks anytime he wanted.

This wasn’t weird.

It wasn’t.

_ Plus,  _ Alex could already feel the tension in his shoulders easing the slightest bit. Just being beside someone, it seemed to ease something in his soul. Being around  _ Willie  _ — as bright and warm as he was — seemed to further sooth Alex.

That all went up in flames when Willie spoke.

“Hey,” he said, his voice groggy and rough with sleep. He lifted his head the slightest bit and blew the stray strands of hair away from his eyes. “Alex?”

He was already standing. Awkwardness made him blush. He was thankful for the darkness hiding his sure to be pink cheeks. His heart was in his throat, racing, because—

“Sorry,” Alex whispered, already moving towards the mouth of the room. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’ll just—”

Willie caught his wrist, stopping him from fleeing.

“Hey,” he said again, his voice clearer now, “is everything okay?”

Alex was so used to running, so used to guarding his emotions, that it was almost second nature to pull away.

_ Yet… _

He didn’t.

He stayed firmly in Willie’s grasp.

The words caught in his throat.

“No.”

It was all he could manage to say. It was all he  _ needed  _ to say because Willie was already pulling himself into a sitting position, his eyes wide and alert.

“That’s okay,” Willie reminded him. Alex remembered his words from what was already over a week ago.  _ It’s okay to not be okay.  _ “Do you want to talk about it?”

If he was being honest,  _ he did. _

There was a weight across his shoulders that he was  _ so freaking tired  _ of bearing alone.

But… he didn’t want to share his struggles with just  _ anyone.  _ He wanted to share them with Willie specifically.

There was something about Willie that made him want to tell him everything — every little secret, every little thought. Maybe it was because Willie was so open and vulnerable with him; it made Alex want to be just as open.

_ And he trusted him. _

He trusted Willie.

Alex sighed and let himself sink to the empty bunk. They both kept a firm grasp on the other, never severing the connection. 

It was exactly what Alex needed.

He cleared his throat and tried to find the right words. “Okay, so... I haven’t been sleeping very well.”

“I know,” Willie said softly.

“It’s partially because I’m not used to it being so quiet. I’m just… I’m so used to life-forces all around me. That’s a Jedi thing, by the way, being able to feel lives in beings. I spent my whole life surrounded by them. This is the first time I’m not and it’s  _ weird.”  _ Alex blew out a long breath and focused on the creases on the closest piece of paper on the wall. He traced the folds and frayed edges with his eyes. “It’s not just that though. I… I saw horrible things right before we left Coruscant  _ and I can’t stop thinking about it all.” _

Willie squeezed his hand in silent support.

“I’m not ready to talk about that,  _ about what I saw,  _ about all that I lost. I— I can’t begin to even  _ think  _ of it all because  _ it still doesn’t feel real.  _ I don’t want it to feel real, in ways. And—  _ Force,  _ I—”

Alex took a steadying breath. He released his emotions out to the galaxy, fleeing from the crushing weight of them.  _ No fear, no sorrow, no anguish, no path to the dark side. _

He continued, needing to tell  _ someone. _

“When I do sleep…” Alex paused. “How much do you know about Jedi?”

“Honestly? Not a lot. I know you do the whole… magic finger waving stuff, and have a cool glowy laser sword, and you are General and Commanders of the Grand Army of the Republic, but that’s about it.”

Alex nodded. There was so much he could get into — so much history, and so many details, and thousands of years of foundations — but he didn’t want to talk about that, not right now.

He told Willie what he needed to know.  _ Just the basics. _

“The Force allows us glimpses into the future and the past,” Alex explained. “We call them Force visions. They’re… complex and not always set in stone. Most times, there are many interpretations of one vision and many hours are spent trying to isolate the images from emotion. They’re rare, so I was guided by my Master when I got mine.”

“Okay. I follow. They’re like prophecies?”

“In a way. Some Masters believed that not all events we are shown will come true and sometimes we are shown pieces of the past.”

Willie nodded. “Right.”

“Well… I keep getting them.”

Willie’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought you said they were rare?”

“I did. They are. Or…  _ they were.”  _ Alex scrubbed a hand across his face and pulled from Willie’s grasp. There were still so many things he didn’t understand. “I think… If I had to guess, I think it’s because the Force is so screwed up right now. It’s unbalanced and full of chaos. I’ve  _ never  _ felt it like this before, so… damaged. It’s the only thing that makes sense; that I’m getting all these visions because the natural state of the galaxy has been disrupted.” He waved his hand in dismissal. “It doesn’t matter. Recently, ever since Coruscant, it’s been almost impossible to sleep without having one.”

Willie leaned forward in his bed, his knees brushing against Alex’s. He leaned into the touch.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep either, if I kept getting images in my head,” Willie admitted. “That’s…  _ I’m sorry.” _

“And the worst part is that…  _ I see horrible things.  _ Every time I fall asleep, I’m sucked right into another Force vision. I’ve watched  _ so many _ of my mentors and friends fall. I keep seeing that night from across the galaxy and…” Alex let his building emotions go. He didn’t want to deal with that right now — he couldn’t. “There’s one vision I keep having — over and over.” He let out a shaking breath and forged forward. “There’s another Jedi out there.”

_ “What?”  _ Willie shot forward again, his knee now digging painfully into Alex’s. Neither shifted away. “That’s—  _ wow.” _

It looked as though Willie had come to the same conclusion as Alex had. They both had assumed he was the last remaining Jedi in the galaxy.

“The only thing is,  _ this vision.  _ I don’t know what it means. I don’t know where it’s taking place. I don’t… I don’t understand it. I don’t—” Alex raked his hands through his hair and fell backwards. His back connected roughly with the wall. “There are two people in it and… I don’t know who they are. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know and I’m just  _ so tired.  _ I’m exhausted, but  _ I can’t sleep.” _

That was really why he came to Willie in this moment. He was so tired that it was making him feel sick. He wanted to be by him so he could relax enough to sleep.

Willie reached forward and caught Alex’s hand again. It jarred him from his thoughts.

“It’s okay,” he assured him. “I don’t know much about this stuff. I mean… I don’t know  _ anything  _ about it.  _ But  _ we will start tomorrow. Okay? We’ll figure out a place to start  _ tomorrow.”  _ His thumb brushed against the top of Alex’s hand. “You can’t sleep? How can I help?”

That caught Alex off guard.

They stared at each other.

A long beat passed.

He had an idea, but it was horribly awkward to even ask. Sure, they might’ve agreed to be friends, but this felt way too personal for two people who only recently met.

And yet...

“I—” Alex shifted. He continued to trace the curves of the papers on the walls with his gaze.  _ Force,  _ why were his palms so sweaty? “Can you talk to me? As I fall asleep? So I have something other than my thoughts to listen to?”

He didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t  _ this. _

“Of course.” Willie looked so at ease with this request, like it wasn’t something that took every ounce of courage for Alex to ask. “Here, let me some water first. One sec.”

When Willie returned, he wasn’t just carrying a glass of water. He was also carrying the bedding Alex had claimed on the couch, including the impossibly heavy blanket. He dumped it on his lap before settling back into his own bunk.

“Might as well get comfortable,” Willie said. “Unless you’d rather stay on the couch. Which would be totally fine, by the way, but I just thought—”

“No. No, this is nice.”

_ It was the truth. _

Alex settled onto the empty bunk —  _ his bunk  _ — and turned to face Willie. It was hard to see through the darkness now that the curtain to the bunks was shut properly, but there was just enough light to make him out. His head was propped up on his arm and his blanket hanging loosely across his torso. Seeing how quickly Willie was able to get comfortable was amusing.

“Okay, so. Storytime with Willie. You’re in luck because I’ve been  _ everywhere  _ and have the best stories.”

Alex laughed into the darkness. “I’ve noticed.” 

It was his go-to strategy when it came to holochess, after all.

“Good. Just… I need to think of a good one. I want to make sure you’re coming back for seconds and I don’t bore you away.”

“The point of this  _ is  _ to bore me away. Or… to bore me to sleep.”

Alex could  _ just  _ see Willie’s grin through the dark. His cheeks widened and his teeth flashed. 

He had a nice smile.

There was a long pause.

The sound of clothing rustling followed. Willie’s hand reached across the space of the room. Alex blinked at it for a long moment before reaching to meet him in the middle. There they lay, palm to palm, with silence and darkness encasing them.

Alex had never felt so  _ tethered  _ to someone before, like their two souls were linked inexplicably, as if their destinies were as intertwined as their fingers.

“Alex?” 

“Yes?”

“Can I tell you something?”

Alex smiled. “I thought that was the point? You’re supposed to talk so much that I get bored and fall asleep.”

Willie didn’t smile like he anticipated. Instead, his lips thinned and his forehead creased. Alex could feel the shift in the atmosphere.

“No, I know, but… this is something else. Something serious.”

He hesitated, only because he was so nervous. “Of course. Anything.”

Willie’s eyes caught the light as he inched forward. “You know… it’s okay to feel things, right? Because it is. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling right now. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I know you’re struggling. And I just… I want you to know that it’s okay to feel those things. I want you to know that you’re  _ safe here;  _ that you’re safe to feel  _ whatever  _ here.” Alex was at a loss for words, so he didn’t say anything. Willie kept talking, now sounding more nervous before. “I want you to feel comfortable here because, well, we don’t know how long we’re going to be together, and we don’t know how long you’re going to stay on the ship, and… I want you to know that you don’t have to run anymore. You don’t have to hide. It’s only me here, and I want to know you. The  _ true  _ you. You’re not going to scare me away.”

It hadn’t clicked for Alex until this moment.

_ This was his life.  _ This was his reality until he figured out what came next — until he figured out a plan to ensure he completed his Master’s final mission.

_ This was it. _

Just him and Willie on a ship in the middle of space.

_ Just them. _

_ Just space. _

_ Just time. _

Hearing Willie say it out loud finally made it click.

_ He had promised he was going to stay with Willie.  _ He didn’t have to hide from him because  _ he was part of his life now. _

And, with Willie, he was safe.

Alex couldn’t speak. All he could manage was to squeeze Willie’s hand with his own. He hoped he understood — he hoped he could see just how deep his words had reached — he hoped he could see just how  _ shaken  _ he was by this realization.

Willie must’ve understood something because he squeezed his hand back.

“Alright. Storytime.” An ease settled across them. Alex shifted closer to the end of his bed, adjusting the way his arm hung, and closed his eyes. “The first time I flew a ship, I accidentally scratched the shit out of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AMAZINGLY, there is _even more_ wonderful art done for this fic. I'm so happy and excited! A huge thank you to those who are taking the time to create things inspired by All That Remains. That's just so, so cool to see. 
>   * Alex's lightsaber was designed by Savannah (julie-n-phantoms on Tumblr) using the video game Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. You can see it on her Tumblr [here](https://julie-n-phantoms.tumblr.com/post/639514112257343488/so-as-ive-mentioned-i-absolutely-love-essies)!
>   * This stunning moodboard for the fic was created by Tee (spacekrulesbians on Tumblr). You can see it [here](https://reggieshamster.tumblr.com/post/639616355762651137/fic-rec-check-out-all-that-remains-by)!
>   * Here is some more wonderful art by Ryn, this time for chapter 5!!! It's adorable. Willex are running for the lives. They're holding hands. They're wearing matching jumpsuits. *chef kiss* You can see it on [her Tumblr](https://thesunwillart.tumblr.com/post/639712406182952960/run-space-boys-run-more-star-wars-au-from)!
> 

> 
> AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. STUNNING. Thank you so much to those three again. Seeing so much art and creative projects come from this fic is just super amazing and inspiring. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	8. CHAPTER VIII: THE PHANTOM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the events of this chapter take place over the course of three weeks.

Alex stealthily glanced over the rim of his mug, trying to peer into Willie’s cup.

_How much milk did he put in there?_

It felt like that was something he should’ve noticed before. Right? He’d spent nearly three weeks with him already — nearly three weeks where they’d been trapped in this _tiny freaking ship_ as they travelled across the galaxy. Nobody else around, no other distractions, nothing to occupy their time — just them.

But he hadn’t paid attention to details like this because it was all meant to be temporary. Willie was just supposed to be the pilot, and they were supposed to go their separate ways, and _it wasn’t supposed to be like this._

This; where Willie somehow managed to break through Alex’s walls and become someone he cared about — someone that he trusted — someone that he considered a friend.

It wasn’t temporary though, not anymore, and Alex was determined to pick up on all the details he had missed.

Willie, oblivious to his gaze, picked up the mug and downed _half of it_ in one sip. Alex’s eyes widened and he turned away.

_Well._

_He certainly had an interesting way of drinking tea._

They both studied the holomap of the galaxy across the table in front of them as they tried to figure out the next step. Without the heaviness of nighttime, Alex felt less burdened, somehow. His mission was still overwhelming, but he wasn’t drowning in it like he had been the previous night.

His gaze flicked to Willie’s.

Maybe it had less to do with the time of day and more to do with the person he was with.

Knowing that Willie was beside him — knowing that they were going to figure this out together — it lifted a weight from Alex’s chest. Willie was _brilliant_ and knew the galaxy well from his lifetime filled with travelling. He was sure that, with him, they’d be able to figure out how to complete this mission.

“So,” Willie said as soon as he set down his mug. He pointed to the middle of the map. “We’re still near here. Giju is down this way, near the opening of the Rimma Trade Route. This is a trip I make all the time, but… usually it’s with a hyperdrive.”

Right. Alex rubbed his forehead. They really should’ve grabbed a hyperdrive while they were on Corellia, but that had been the last thing on both of their minds between all the chaos. It was too late to focus on that regret now; they were long gone from Corellia.

And, from the way they left that planet — with Alex revealing himself as a Jedi — they wouldn’t be returning anytime soon.

“The navs says it’ll take us three weeks without the hyperdrive. Rimma has a hangar there. They’re already expecting me. Well… they were expecting me _yesterday,_ but that’s fine.” This was old news; they’d figured this out as soon as they left Corellia and Alex had agreed to stay on the _Phantom._ What they still needed to work out was _what came next._ “Once we get to Giju, we shouldn’t have many issues. After that… the possibilities are pretty endless, man. We could go wherever.”

That was the problem.

_The possibilities were endless._

And Alex didn’t know where to start.

Alex had been avoiding this decision. Part of him hoped something would keep coming up so he’d never have to decide because—

He honestly didn’t know. 

He didn’t know what was to come next. His plan was barely a plan. It was more of a desperate attempt to get to a location and find a more experienced Jedi so he wouldn’t be out here all alone, left to rebuild an Order grander than him _all alone._

“You said you needed to get a transport because your life had been leading up to this moment,” Willie recalled. “So… what is it? What are you up to?”

Being able to tell him felt… nice.

_Sharing this burden with Willie felt right._

“My Master… the last thing she did was give me a mission. She sacrificed her life for me to have a chance at succeeding. It’s vital that I complete this mission. I’m supposed to find the remaining Jedi, tell them the truth of what happened, and help rebuild the Jedi Order.” 

Willie’s eyes widened at that. “Wow. That seems like a big job.”

“It is.” Alex sighed and glanced back at the map. “There are ten thousand Jedi across the galaxy. Or… there _was_ before...”

He hadn’t told Willie about what he had seen at the Temple or what he felt in the Force. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to, considering how much it hurt to simply think about.

He had to steel his nerves to keep himself from running from this conversation completely.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m trying to say that the Jedi Order is — _was_ — is huge. It’s older and more expensive than I can comprehend, and I grew up learning about it. I don’t even know where to begin to rebuild it. That’s why I need to find a Jedi Knight first. Preferably a Jedi from the High Council; they’ll know what to do better than I would. I planned to get transportation to the Outer Rim. It’s the least likely to be occupied by the Empire and, hopefully, that means it's safe for Jedi.”

Willie leaned back in his seat and chewed his lip. “Hm. Alright. So you’re… going to the Outer Rim and hoping you run into other Jedi?”

_Well, when it was put like that..._

Alex frowned. “I didn’t say I had a _good_ plan.”

“No, it’s good. It’s just… I’m trying to see the bigger picture.” Willie was silent for a long moment. “I mean, you could…”

“What?” Alex asked, leaping forward. _“What?”_

“You want to find another Jedi, right? What about the one from your dreams? Or… vision? Is that what it’s called?”

Alex sunk back into the couch. The feeling of hopelessness hit him like the tide hitting the shore.

“I mean… _yeah._ I want to find them. _I do,_ but… I don’t know where they are. I’ve seen them twice now. It’s always the same vision, always on the same planet.” He glanced at Willie out of the side of his eye. “Do you know a planet with double moons?”

“Double moons,” he echoed. Willie leaned forward and glanced at the map. “There’s a lot of planets with two moons.”

“I know, but…” Alex pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to call up more details. “This planet is filled with water. The atmosphere is breathable. It has a royal family and possible connections with the Republic Senate.” Willie was in deep thought. His forehead creased. His eyes were screwed shut. His thumb rubbed soothing patterns onto the couch between them. Alex blew out a long breath. “I wish I had access to the HoloNet. I could just look it up. At the Temple, the archives were expansive.” His throat grew tight. “I wonder what happened to it.”

 _He didn’t want to think about it._ He didn’t want to think about how he left the Jedi Temple burning. He didn’t want to think about all that knowledge falling into the hands of the Sith or other darksiders.

_He couldn’t think about it._

So, he kept speaking.

“You’re right though. Going to the Outer Rim without any plan? With just… _hope?_ That isn’t good enough. This isn’t something that should be left up to chance. I need to do better.”

Willie’s touch was solid on his arm. “You’re doing the best you can.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe the Jedi Masters should’ve left this job to someone who could do better than I could.” It was something that had been echoing in the back of his mind ever since the ringing in his ears left him after the Temple. _Why him?_ “I’m just a Padawan. Or… I _was._ I was a Padawan. I don’t know what I am now — now that the Jedi Order is gone.”

Because, without the Order, what was he _really?_

Alex felt like he was collapsing in on himself. His chest _ached._ His heart was somewhere in his stomach. The heartbreak he felt was radiating up through his arms, all the way down to his fingertips, making him feel like his whole _body_ was breaking — not just his heart.

Willie’s touch was hesitant at first. It was really the brush of his fingers against Alex’s forearm — there just long enough to be registered before he pulled back.

“You’re strong. You’re brave. You’re capable,” Willie said. His voice sounded so sure and Alex couldn’t help but wonder _how?_ How could he be so confident about this when they’d known each other for such a short amount of time? “You’re a good Jedi, Alex. Your Jedi Master must’ve trusted you a lot. She must’ve believed in you.”

“She did.”

“And that’s why it’s been left to you.” Willie’s hand was back on Alex’s arm; this time more sure — more steady — more lasting. “It _shouldn’t_ be up to you. Nobody should be left with this responsibility. It’s not _fair_ to leave it all up to you. I wish it wasn’t.”

“Well, it was. There’s no point in wishing otherwise.” Alex realized just how venomous his words sounded a beat too late. His eyes shot to Willie’s, wide and shocked. To keep him from pulling away — _because, Force, he really didn’t want Willie to pull away —_ his hand latched onto his. “I just… I didn’t mean it like that. I mean—”

Except, how did he mean it?

Alex searched his mind for a moment, desperate for clarity.

He already knew what he meant. He just didn’t want to say it.

“I wish it wasn’t me either,” Alex breathed. It was a heavy truth, one he wasn’t ready to face. He should be proud that Harrison trusted him and his abilities as much as she did; he should be proud that this huge responsibility had fallen to him. _Except…_ “It’s just _a lot,_ you know? It’s a lot for me to take on alone.”

Willie’s fingers flexed on his arm. “You’re not alone.”

A beat passed.

The truth settled in him.

It was hard to remember sometimes, that he wasn’t doing this alone anymore.

“I know. I have you.”

They smiled at each other.

* * *

“So, this is what remains.”

Alex and Willie stood shoulder-to-shoulder in the cargo hold. It was the first time since Corellia that either of them had seen the room and it was shocking to see just how much had changed.

The cargo hold was now bare. The first time Alex saw the cargo hold, it had been filled with crates of fuel. From floor to ceiling, the towers were stacked, covering nearly every square inch of space.

That fuel was left behind in their escape from Corellia, and now they were left with nothing.

“It’s not much.” 

“It’s nothing,” Willie argued.

Alex walked a straight path down the centre of the room, his gaze searching. There, near the exiting ramp, were two crates. He cracked the lid and, sure enough— “There’s a few fuel canisters left.”

Willie joined him at the crates and peered in. Alex could feel the stress rolling off of him in waves. 

Neither of them spoke as they continued through the cargo hold, surveying the damages. Alex kicked the edge of an empty crate with his toe. It slid across the floor, replacing the tense silence with scraping. 

Other than the missing crates, there weren’t a lot of damages to the interior. Some equipment must’ve been knocked down by the spaceport workers in their rush. One fuel canister spilled, leaving a shimmery puddle in the middle of the room. Willie crouched beside it and stared at it for a long time.

Alex didn’t have to ask if he was okay. He could feel his frustration and nerves through the Force.

He gave him space and circled back around the room. It was larger than he originally anticipated, with high ceilings and distant walls. They were lucky that the Empire hadn’t spotted the smuggler's hold in the ceiling above back on Corellia.

Finally, Willie let out a sigh and pushed himself into a standing position. “Rimma isn’t going to be happy.” 

Alex wasn’t as knowledgeable about trade goods as Willie must’ve been, but he knew that the fuel they lost on Corellia was _ridiculously_ expensive. It wasn’t something they could just pretend didn’t happen; it was enough that the company was going to notice.

He could feel Willie’s tense emotions from across the room.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Alex pointed out.

“I mean… it kinda is.” Willie crossed his arms and turned to him, looking pained. “I wasn’t even technically supposed to be on Corellia. I was supposed to pick up the transport from Coruscant and go straight to Giju. They’re not going to be happy that I even _stopped_ on a different planet. It _is_ a big deal. It’s a _huge_ deal, and it’s definitely my fault for stopping there.” 

Alex fell silent.

His chest tightened.

_So, it was his fault._

Willie didn’t have to come right out and say it. It was _so clear_ from the words he did say, and from the way he couldn’t look at him, and from the way the Force was screaming with frustration and disappointment. 

_It was his fault._

They both knew it.

The only reason Willie was in this mess was because he stopped on Corellia, and the only reason he stopped on Corellia was because of Alex.

This was on him.

Pain blossomed across his chest. Willie’s words felt like a punch to the gut. His throat stung from holding back tears.

_Wow._

_That hurt._

Willie moved onto the next object left behind, turning a tool of sorts over in his hands, examining it from all angles. All Alex could focus on was how his rigid back was turned towards him. All Alex could feel was the frustration and the disappointment.

He got the message.

Without another word, Alex turned and left.

* * *

Alex missed holding Willie’s hand.

He paced back and forth through the empty cargo hold, trying to burn off some of the energy building in him.

_He really missed holding Willie’s hand._

It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? To miss something like that? To miss that physical affection—

No. It wasn’t _affection._ Affection implied attachment, and _he wasn’t attached to Willie._ He wasn’t. He simply enjoyed the presence of another being. He enjoyed being in Willie’s presence, really. _That was all._

He wasn’t attached. Attachment was forbidden for Jedi. He wasn’t attached.

Alex blew out a long breath and turned in the opposite direction. It was mind numbing, pacing up and down the cargo hold, but it was what he needed.

He needed to silence his thoughts.

Alex glanced towards the wall of the cargo hold, where he had left his stuff when he began to pace. A blanket, the blaster holster Willie had taken off Kres, and his lightsaber.

_The blanket._

Alex’s steps faltered.

He really wanted a hug right now.

Not just _a_ hug though. 

He wanted _Willie’s_ hug.

Alex looked away and forced one foot in front of the other.

Willie was annoyed with him. He wouldn’t want to hug him. _Of course he wouldn’t._

Alex felt his annoyance and frustration in the Force the previous day, when they were in the cargo hold and talking about the missing fuel. It was more than just annoyance though, wasn’t it? It made sense for Willie to be upset. It made sense for Willie to regret agreeing to transport Alex at all, and now he was stuck with him because they promised to stay together.

Alex blew out another long breath. He let his emotions go into the galaxy. He tried to recentre himself, to focus on anything other than the turmoil rising in him.

It wasn’t a big deal. Willie was always meant to just be a stranger; it was best if they kept it that way. Willie realizing Alex was just a burden that came with complications was just… easier. 

Right?

_Right?_

(Then why did it feel so wrong?)

(Why did this make him feel so _small?)_

(Why did it make him want to sob?)

Needing something to keep his hands and mind busy, he reached out with the Force and summoned his lightsaber to his hands. With the crates of fuel missing, he had the whole cargo hold to himself, which meant—

The blade burst to life in his hands.

Alex settled into his skin. The warmth from the plasma core chased away the chill left behind in his bones, just as it chased away the thoughts plaguing his mind. The unease melted away as he waved his lightsaber in front of him slowly, settling back into the familiarity of the movements.

Once again, he put one foot in front of the other. Instead of pacing, it was to practice his stances and strikes against invisible enemies. It was to run through the forms taught to him ever since he could stay upright on his own — all as familiar and natural to him as breathing and blinking.

This — the hum of the lightsaber, the glow of the blade, the normalcy of the forms — it was easier than whatever would’ve been going through his mind without it.

_Too many thoughts._

_Too many thoughts, too many feelings._

Such as — why did it make Alex feel so _horrible_ that Willie was upset with him?

Why did Alex feel like he was suffocating, or plummeting, or freezing in carbonite from all these _emotions?_

Why was Alex not able to bring himself to the back bunks the previous night despite knowing he slept better when Willie talked to him as he fell asleep?

(Although — he already knew that one. It was because he couldn’t bear to face him, knowing that _he_ was the reason behind his troubles.)

Why did his chest _ache_ when he thought about letting Willie down? When he thought about the souring of their friendship. When he thought about losing him.

 _That was the worst one._ The _pain_ he felt when he thought about losing Willie’s friendship and light? It made him grip his lightsaber tighter and swing a little bit harder.

Emotions were hard. And complicated. And confusing.

Alex blew out a long breath and glanced in the direction of the living quarters, where he knew Willie was. He could feel him through the Force — a speck of light in the infinite galaxy of darkness around them.

He could go talk to him.

Alex chewed his lip and began to run through the lightsaber forms again. The blade hissed as he progressed to quicker speeds. His muscles ached — not in a painful way, not like his chest did, but in a sweeter way.

_He could go talk to Willie._

It was what he wanted to do. He wanted to talk to him, to apologize, to make up for the complications he caused. He wanted to erase the tension between them because _he really liked Willie._ He liked being his friend. Alex didn’t want that to change.

_Alex didn’t want to lose him._

He promised himself he was going to stop running; that included no longer running away from hard conversations — no more running away from confusing emotions — no more running away from Willie, even when it was hard.

Alex pressed the button on the hilt of his lightsaber. The blade disappeared. The air around him was still buzzing with warmth. The chill that had found a home in the pit of his stomach was replaced with purpose.

_He was going to do this._

Because, if he didn’t, he’d be losing Willie, and he didn’t want that. Maybe he wasn’t good with the whole emotion thing, but he _knew_ that losing Willie would hurt. Losing the friendship they had would destroy him because—

He was the only thing he had at the moment.

_He couldn’t lose him._

Without another moment spent thinking, Alex placed his lightsaber back with his belongings and made his way to the living quarters.

The scene was familiar. Willie was sitting at the holochess table, his shoulders tense and his hair hanging over his face as he studied the holopad in front of him. When Willie glanced up, Alex caught sight of a stylus hanging between his lips. His eyebrows shot up.

“Hey,” Willie greeted immediately. He quickly ripped the stylus from his mouth and tossed it to the side. He tucked his hair behind his ear. “Hey. Hi. Alex. Hi. What’s—”

“I’m sorry.”

_No point in ignoring this._

_No point in building up to this._

_No point in pretending like he was fine — like they were fine — when it was so clear that it was a lie._

“I’m really, really sorry, Willie. If I could take it back, I would, but—”

Willie stood from the couch slowly, looking painfully confused. His forehead creased as his eyebrows pushed together. His lips were parted the slightest bit. His hair drifted in front of his eyes as he tilted his head to the side.

Alex faltered. He wet his lips. 

_Why was it so hard to speak?_

“Are you okay? What happened?” Willie’s gaze flicked behind him, towards the cargo hold. “I heard your lightsaber and I just assumed you were practicing, but—” He moved towards Alex quickly, his confusion turning to panic. He stopped short by a few inches. His eyes raked over him, looking for injury. “Did something happen? Are we being followed? Did—”

“Wait. What?”

Willie’s gaze snapped to his. Now it was Alex’s turn to be confused. What the hell was he talking about?

“I… Your lightsaber? Was on? You…” Willie inched backwards. “Okay, hold on, let’s start from the beginning. Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Are we under attack? Did they find you?”

Alex’s chest caved in the slightest bit at that. The way Willie was looking at him, with so much concern and desperation, it made Alex _feel so much._

“No.”

“Okay. Good. Those are the important things.” Willie blew out a shaking breath and leaned against the back of the couch. There was a long pause. Alex couldn’t figure out where to start again. Willie took it as his cue. “It’s fine, Alex,” he promised him. The sincerity in his voice was audible. It loosened the tension in Alex’s body because _he believed him._ He believed whatever Willie was saying. “Whatever you broke — I don’t really care about it. It’s just _things,_ you know? As long as you’re fine, then—”

“Wait.” Alex stared blankly at him. “What are you talking about?”

Willie stared back. “Uh… You… hit something with your lightsaber?” They blinked at each other. “Wait. Okay. What are _you_ talking about?”

“Corellia. Rimma. The fuel.” Willie’s expression didn’t shift at all. Alex let out a breathless sound and tried to put his emotions into words. “I just… I’m sorry. I know it’s my fault. I… _I know it is._ You know it is, even though you’re too nice to say it, and I know you’re upset about it, but—”

“Woah, wait. What?” Willie straightened. “I’m upset about… what exactly?” Alex opened his mouth. Words refused to follow. Willie’s expression became even _more_ unreadable. He took a step in his direction. “Wait, is that what’s going on? Is that why you’ve been in the cargo hold all day?”

“I mean, it hasn’t been _all day —_ we didn’t even eat dinner yet, and—”

“Alex.” Willie’s eyes were intense. Alex struggled to find the right words. “Alex, what’s going on? You think I’m mad at you?”

“I— Uh… Yeah.” Alex pointed helplessly towards the cargo hold. “I just thought… yesterday… the fuel… I could feel you were frustrated, and I just… I know it’s about me. It’s my fault all of that happened. It’s my fault we were on Corellia at all, and now you’re missing the fuel, and Rimma’s going to be upset and—” Alex shrugged. “I know you’re upset because of that, and I know it’s my fault, so… I’m sorry.”

_“Oh, Alex.”_

It was said with so much ferocity — so much tenderness — that it threw Alex off balance.

_Nobody had said his name like that before._

Willie crossed the distance between them with three long strides and swept him into a hug much like their first one. It was strong, and firm, and grounding. It took a long moment for Alex to respond, feeling too stunned to move at first, but he returned it eagerly. He grabbed fistfuls of the back of Willie’s shirt greedily, not wanting to part with him.

It was as if Willie didn’t want to part with him either. He made no move to leave the embrace.

“Alex… _no,”_ he said, his voice soft. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not upset with you. _I’m not.”_

“But—” Alex was the one to pull back. His thoughts raced as he tried to put the pieces together. “It’s my fault, Willie. You’re going to get in trouble with Rimma and it’s because of _me._ I—”

“I’m not mad.”

“Then you should be.” Alex didn’t know if he believed him — he _felt_ the disappointment yesterday. _And, really, it only made sense for him to be disappointed with him._ “I— Fine. If you’re not mad, then you _regret_ it. If you never agreed to transport me—”

“I _regret_ it?” Willie pulled away sharply. His expression was completely shifted from before. He looked horrified. “Alex… That’s not how I feel.”

“If you never agreed to transport me then—”

“Then I wouldn’t know you.”

Alex pursed his lips. “Is that such a bad thing?”

 _“Yes._ That would be a horrible thing. I don’t even— I don’t want to imagine a time where I wouldn’t have met you.” Willie let out a humourless laugh. “Alex, I was telling the truth before. You’re _important_ to me. _I care about you._ You’re my friend — my _only_ friend, at that. I…” Willie’s mouth snapped shut. “Listen, Alex, I don’t blame you for anything. _Please believe me when I tell you that._ If I could go back to the day we met on Coruscant and I had the chance to do it over again, I would. I’d do it all over again, exactly the way it’s already played out.”

Alex was _so painfully_ confused.

This didn’t make sense.

“I… I’m complicated though. I complicate things. _I told you that before,_ and this just proves it. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t have been on Corellia, and you wouldn’t have lost your fuel, and—” He stopped. He struggled to find the right words. “I should’ve just walked away, Willie. I should’ve just _walked away_ back on Coruscant because then you wouldn’t be in this mess with your work, and—”

“I would’ve followed you.” Willie’s smile was soft. Alex’s throat tightened. “Alex… It isn’t your fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not _anybody’s faults._ It just happened. Am I upset about it? Of course I am. Rimma’s probably going to bite my head off when I tell them about it, but… I’m not upset with you. I don’t blame you. I never did and I never will.” They stared at each other, their gaze unwavering. “Do you believe me?”

He hesitated.

He hesitated because _how could Willie not care?_ How could he not blame him? How could Willie not blame him when _Alex blamed himself?_

“I—”

Willie grabbed his hand. Instead of weaving their fingers together like Alex was already used to, he brought his hand up to his forehead. Without breaking eye contact, he spoke. “Do your Jedi magic thing on me.”

Alex lurched backwards. _“What?”_

“I mean, I don’t know how it works, but… you’ll see that I’m telling the truth, right? I want you to know I’m telling the truth because I want you to know I don’t blame you, I don’t resent you, I don’t regret being your friend. _None of that is true._ And I really just… I want you to know that.” He tapped his forehead. “And I have nothing to hide up here, so—”

Alex broke eye contact. “I’m not looking in your head, Willie.” He had to remind himself that Willie had very minimal knowledge about the Force and its workings. He tried to shake the chill from his skin. “I’m not going to look in your head. _Ever._ That’s… that’s something I’ll never do, Willie. Not to you — not to anyone.”

“Okay.” He lowered their linked hands, but didn’t let go. “I just… I want you to _know,_ Alex.”

“I do. I believe you.”

_And he did._

He believed Willie.

Maybe he didn’t understand or see the logic, but _he trusted Willie._ He trusted that he would tell him the truth.

Willie’s expression shifted the slightest bit. His shoulders sagged. His breath came out of him as a rush.

“Good,” he breathed. “I… I promise, I’d tell you if I was upset with you. _I promise.”_ He shifted awkwardly. “Was there, I donno, something I did that made you feel like this? Something I said? Because, if so, I’m _sorry_ and—”

“No, don’t be.” Alex began pacing, just to give himself something to do. “This is on me. I just… I guess I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be disappointed with me when I am so disappointed in myself — when I hold myself responsible for what happened back there — when I know it’s my fault.”

“It’s my fault as much as yours,” Willie promised him. “I was the one to pick Corellia, wasn’t I? I was the one to agree to land in that hangar. I was the one who decided to go into the city for a hyperdrive. If you’re going to blame your decisions then you’re going to have to blame mine too.”

Alex gave him a hard look. “That’s not fair.”

“Hey,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender, “I’m just showing you how unfair it is to blame yourself. Nobody’s at fault. The galaxy is kinda a mess right now, so if _anybody_ is responsible, it’s the galaxy. You know what? Let’s blame Emperor Palpatine. He seems like a good guy to blame.”

Alex cracked a smile at that. It was hard not to.

“We’re not blaming the _freaking_ Emperor because we lost fuel, are we?”

“Why not! Screw him!”

“Screw him,” Alex agreed. He sighed and turned to face Willie. “I’m sorry though. For the role I played.”

Willie’s smile was soft. He shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “Listen, man, the galaxy would be a very different place if we acted on the knowledge we gain after the fact. We can’t get caught up with what decisions led to what outcome. All we can do is try our best with the situation we’re in.” Alex had the strongest urge to _cry,_ or laugh, or _hug him_ in that moment. He didn’t do any of those though; he simply stood and watched him. “Your decisions led to it as much as mine did. That’s just how it is, and I’m not going to blame you for that. _You_ shouldn’t blame yourself either. I know you’re used to taking responsibility for things — I mean, how could you _not_ be when you’re a former Commander of the Grand Army of the Republic. But… you don’t have to take responsibility; not all on your own. When I said we’re in this together — when I said you’re not alone anymore — I meant it. If something goes wrong, it isn’t on your shoulders.”

Alex blinked because—

_Holy shit._

He didn’t even realize this weight was on his shoulders. He didn’t even _realize it_ until it was gone. Ever since he was fourteen, he’d been responsible for his whole battalion of Republic troopers. Even before then, he had been responsible for the safety of planets and the survival of people.

_He was so used to worlds and lives resting on his shoulders._

It wasn’t until Willie said those words that Alex realized exactly what he had been doing.

 _He’d been putting everything on his own shoulders._ He felt so _guilty_ for what felt like his failures. He blamed himself for the things that had gone wrong, simply because it was his _normal._

Alex let out a ragged breath and surged forward. He pulled Willie into a tight hug, one that was easy to get lost in. It was always easy to get lost with Willie; with the warmth of his life-force and the sureness of his touches.

“I’m really happy you came to talk to me,” Willie said after a long moment. Alex could feel his chest rumble against his. “Talking is good, and I will always be here to talk. _About anything.”_

Alex agreed.

Talking was good. 

* * *

Days passed.

It was easy to lose track of time when it was just the two of them, floating through space in a lone ship. It was the longest Alex had gone in his whole life without talking to someone outside of his bubble, or without going on a mission, or without doing _something._

He was restless.

He needed to be doing _something,_ otherwise it felt like he was going to implode.

_Alex spent many hours in the cargo hold, his lightsaber in hand._

It was always something he did alone. It was an unspoken agreement between him and Willie; when he went to practice his forms and run through a few moves, it was his time alone.

Alex was thankful that Willie didn’t press — not that he wouldn’t have said no if he was interested, but it felt _right_ to be alone for this. His connection with the Force had been put into a blender and thrown to the Loth-wolves ever since the day the Jedi Temple fell and he needed to _work_ to build it back up.

The galaxy was still filled with pain and chaos. All of these horrible emotions stretched across the Force tightly, making it nearly impossible to sift through. It had faded over the last weeks, becoming more of a constant hum rather than remaining the white-hot sharp jabs of pain it had once been, but there was a long way to go before it returned to a semblance of what it used to be.

_So, Alex practiced._

* * *

The first time Alex tried to meditate, it was a complete and utter failure.

It was the first time he had attempted to tap into the Force so deeply, and it left him feeling drained and cold. There was so much emptiness where there used to be life. There was so much darkness where there used to be light. All of the pain seemed to echo through the Force like a scream in a void.

Alex found Willie in the living quarters, reading his holopad.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice tight and wobbling. It felt like he was seconds from falling to pieces. “Can I, uh… Can I have a hug? Please?”

_It was the first time he ever asked for a hug._

The words felt strange leaving his mouth, but _he knew_ it would make him feel better. He craved the warmth that came with Willie’s arms around his shoulders, just as he craved the brilliant light of his life-force.

Willie didn’t bat an eye. He crossed the room and pulled him into an easy hug. It didn’t erase all the chill left behind, but Alex felt as though it was a little easier to breathe afterwards. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled, his voice getting lost in his shoulder. “The Force is _cold_ right now and... you help. There used to be so much life and light and now there’s just _nothing.”_

“I’m not going to pretend to know how the Force works, but that sounds horrible.” Willie’s arms tightened. “I wish I could help.”

“You are.” Alex leaned into his touch. “This helps.”

“I’ll hug you for a thousand more hours if you think it’ll help.”

He laughed. “Won’t our arms fall asleep by then?”

“Worth it.” Willie pulled back just enough to whisper right into his ear. Alex could hear the grin on his lips rather than see it. “I’ll let you in on a secret, Alex; _I like hugs too.”_

Alex lowered his voice to match Willie’s. “I know,” he whispered. “The blankets tell me all I need to know.”

When they finally pulled back, Alex felt better. It was incredible, just how much he used to underestimate the power of a hug.

(Or, maybe it wasn’t just any hug, but Willie’s specifically.)

“You mentioned you’re cold?” Willie asked, already walking backwards towards the kitchenette. “Would you rather have hot chocolate or meiloorun tea?”

“Hot chocolate. Easy.”

Willie’s nose wrinkled teasingly. “You just don’t like second snacks.”

“Dude, that’s still _disgusting._ Besides, hot chocolate is _amazing._ How could anything beat hot chocolate?”

“I donno, meiloorun fruits _are_ rare; that has to count for something. _And—”_

* * *

Days later, when Alex tried and failed to meditate for the second time, he sought out Willie again.

Alex didn’t have to ask for a hug this time; he was already ready and waiting.

* * *

The third time, Alex was beginning to get tired.

The Force was a mess and he was impatient. He already knew his Master would’ve given him a full lesson on patience if she was still with him and he knew he should’ve been practicing it, but _he was purely exhausted._ He didn’t have an ounce of patience left in him.

Alex made his way up to the living quarters, feeling numb, and chilled, and tired. He was so ready to make his way to the kitchen to make himself hot chocolate, but—

Willie looked up from his holopad and smiled. There, sitting on the table, were two cups of steaming hot chocolate.

_Oh._

That did a funny thing to his heart.

“How’d it go?” he pressed. The answer must’ve been written across his face because he winced. “I’m sorry. That sucks.” He shifted over on the couch and patted the cushion beside him, beckoning him closer. “I made hot chocolate though? If that helps?”

Alex’s smile was weak. “It does.”

He flopped onto the couch, his head rolling back to the backrest. He stared at the ceiling unblinking. He barely acknowledged just how close he was sitting to Willie, with their legs pressed together and their elbows bumping every time he reached for his mug. He didn’t have the energy to analyze this or the way it made his stomach swoop.

“It was better today,” he said. He wasn’t sure if Willie even cared about what he was talking about, but it was nice to say it out loud. He heard rustling as Willie set his holopad to the side. “I lasted longer, but it’s still hard to sort without becoming overwhelmed. It’s something I know how to do — I’ve been doing it for the majority of my life — but…”

“Be patient with yourself,” Willie told him gently. “You told me that everything’s a mess right now, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“You’re doing your best, Alex. I see how hard you’re working. If you’re not there yet — or if the rest of the galaxy isn’t there yet — then that’s okay. We still have half a week until Giju. And after that? We’ll have even more time. Did you know, it takes six weeks _with a hyperdrive_ to go through the Rimma Trade Route from beginning to end?” Alex wasn’t sure if Willie was trying to assure him with that fact. It made Alex feel even more restless. “I’m sorry it’s being so difficult for you. It must be frustrating.”

“It sure is something,” he admitted. He was tired of thinking about it. He leaned into the warmth of Willie’s side. “Is this okay? I’m just— _I’m so tired.”_

“Yeah, man. You’re good.” Willie picked his holopad back up and adjusted the position of his arm. “Sleep if you want. I’m not doing anything important.”

Alex’s eyes slid shut. He didn’t intend to fall asleep, but, _really,_ it was impossible not to with Willie’s warmth, and his even breaths, and this rightness in his chest.

* * *

“This is _Phantom Rho_ for Rimma Trading. We’re requesting landing at Rimma Port.” Willie set down the comms and leaned back in his seat. He was much more relaxed than Alex was, but he couldn’t help it. The last time they landed on a planet, their plan went up in flames and nearly took them with it. Willie picked up on his unease and nudged him with this shoulder. “Hey, it’s going to be fine.”

“Are you sure?” The co-pilot seat shook from the ferocity that Alex bounced his leg with. “I can think of a dozen ways that this will go wrong.”

“I bet that can think of more than a dozen ways that this will go right.” Willie’s smile was easy. It made Alex want to believe him. “Unlike Corellia, I fly to this port _at least_ a few times every year. This is one of the main hubs for my work.”

Giju stretched out in front of them. Alex couldn’t get over just how _blue_ it looked from space. The whole planet looked to be covered in a layer of water with land masses sparsely distributed. The number of crafts entering and exiting orbit was astonishing, but it matched what Willie had told him earlier that day. This planet was filled with dozens of spaceports and warehouses from dozens of trading companies. It was bustling with activity.

The comms clicked back on. “We read you, _Phantom Rho._ State your crew for the record.”

Willie reached for the comms again. Without hesitation, he spoke. “William and Alex for Rimma Trading Company.”

It was all part of the plan, but it still made Alex’s stomach flip with nerves.

They both decided that it was best for Alex not to hide during their stop on Giju, considering they had no idea how long a hyperdrive installation would take and Willie didn’t want Alex to spend several days in the smuggler’s hold. Alex had to agree; that sounded like it would be painful.

 _It felt weird_ though, not hiding and knowing he was being hunted. Every instinct in his body was telling him to run, and yet—

Here he was. Sitting beside Willie. Pretending to be part of the _Phantom’s_ crew.

“Request authorized. Make your approach.”

The comms clicked off. Willie glanced at Alex out of the corner of his eye. “See? Easy.”

“You said that last time.”

“Yeah, well, I was lying through my teeth last time. I mean it today. Easy.”

They moved seamlessly together to prepare the ship for landing. It was as if Alex had always been here; as if he had always been part of the crew. Their hands never collided once as they flipped toggles and adjusted levers. They didn’t need to speak as they engaged thrusters and piloted the ship towards the correct hangar. 

They just _knew._

It was a harmony that Alex had only felt with a few other people in his life. Harrison, for one, when they trained. Luke and Bobby, when they were kids and sparring. His clones too, when they were out on the battlefield together.

It was a harmony — a connectedness — that came with anticipating the other’s moves without need for words or plans.

As soon as the hangar came into view, it became clear just how different of a world this was to Corellia. The atmosphere was drastically lighter than the one had been at the previous hangar. Pilots and crew members walked without glancing over their shoulders, all working together on their crafts. Not a single Imperial worker was present in the crowd from what Alex could see.

_And the emotions._

He could feel them through the Force. It was such a substantial shift from the chaos and panic he felt while on Corellia. _It was as if the Empire hadn’t reached Giju yet —_ not fully, anyway. People were stressed and in turmoil, but their horror wasn’t as sharp and forefront as the horror on Corellia.

His shoulders eased the slightest bit.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Willie smiling. It was wide and genuine — a smile that Alex didn’t want to stop looking at. His happiness was a reminder that this was his home. 

_Rimma was what the Jedi Order was to him._

“Do you want me to stay in the ship?” Alex offered. His body jostled side to side as they touched down. “I don’t mind if—”

“Nah, man. Crews usually leave the ship and stick with the pilot.” His gaze flicked to his for the briefest moment. He looked almost giddy. _“Plus,_ I want to introduce you.”

“Introduce me?”

“Yeah.” Willie’s smile seemed to grow. “I see Dante’s ship in the back and wherever he goes, Fuego goes, so… They’re nice. They both were at Caleb’s for a while too. You’ll like them.” Willie cut the engines and turned to him fully. While he still looked relaxed, Alex could sense his nerves beneath the surface. “Just stick by me, okay? It’s easy to get lost on Giju.”

That wasn’t reassuring.

Together, they descended from the _Phantom._ The air was cold and smelled of sea salt. In the distance, he could hear waves crashing against the side of the port, spraying water up into the air. Through the mouth of the hangar, he could see the vast ocean stretched out in front of them. It was nearly impossible to tell where the ocean turned to sky.

“William! Alex!”

Alex jolted. His hand flew towards his lightsaber, now hidden in the pouch attached to the new crossbody holster they picked up from Kres. Willie was fast though, and caught his wrist before he could fumble for the clasp.

“Brades! Hi.” Willie dropped Alex’s wrist to shake the approaching being’s hand. 

Alex’s gaze was quick and calculating as he scanned the approaching man. _Brades._ The clothing he wore was nice — much nicer than any of the pilots’ jumpsuits around the hangar — yet still had the Rimma logo stitched into the sleeve. A blaster hung at his side, very easily accessible, and it made Alex jumpy. 

“I was expecting you two weeks ago, William. You’re late.”

Willie took a step back, coming to stand beside Alex again, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. About that…”

“We were all worried something happened to you, with all that’s going on in the galaxy right now.” Brades puffed out his chest and rolled his eyes. Alex got the impression that he didn’t really care what was happening out in the galaxy — all the chaos and pain. Alex shifted uneasily and scanned for threats. “Nice you finally decided to show up.”

“Listen, dude, you mentioned everything going on out there right now. _The Empire._ Well, we got caught up in something, and—”

Brades eyes shifted quickly to Alex. He didn’t flinch under the intense stare.

“‘We,’” he echoed slowly. “I don’t believe we’ve met before.” He didn’t offer his hand. Neither did Alex. “The log says you’re crew?” Before Alex could answer, Brades was staring at Willie again, looking mildly annoyed. “You know the policy, William. You’re not supposed to take on any crew without clearing it with your home hub before.”

_What?_

This was the first time Alex was hearing about this. 

Willie let out a forced laugh. “You’re funny, Brades. Really funny.”

He didn’t smile. “I’m not joking.”

There was a long pause.

His heart was pounding. His senses were screaming. They’d been in too many situations like this one that had gone south quickly; what happened with Kres was a prime example. Alex already was assuming the worst and had begun to form an escape plan.

_He wasn’t going to stand idly by if something went wrong._

_He wasn’t going to all a repeat of Corellia — with Willie getting punched — not now, not ever._

Alex moved a miniscule amount, placing himself between Willie and Brades. He could feel the Force humming around him, ready to be called to use, ready for the impending strike—

“Listen, William, I think we need to talk.”

Alex’s hand inched towards the bag on his side.

Willie’s hand shot towards his again.

This time, instead of holding his wrist, Willie’s fingers wound through his. Their sides pressed flush against each other as he practically _threw_ himself at Alex.

Alex was thrown off balance.

“I know you aren’t joking, Brades,” Willie said, his voice feigning amusement. Alex tensed against Willie’s sudden touch. “Alex isn’t _really_ part of my crew. He’s, uh… my… friend.”

“Your friend?” Brades let out another tired sigh. “William…”

“Yeah. Alex is my… boyfriend.”

_WHAT?_

If Alex wasn’t so good at hiding his emotions, his jaw would’ve been hanging open. As it was, he could barely suck in a _breath_ through the shock. Willie had the complete opposite problem and was breathing _so heavily_ that Alex could feel it against his side.

Shit.

_What?_

“Your boyfriend?”

 _Yeah,_ Alex wanted to echo, _your WHAT?_

Willie spoke again, his voice _very clearly and obviously_ strained. “Yeah! You know… A boy. That’s my friend. That I often kiss. On the lips.”

Alex felt like he was seconds away from passing away.

This was absolutely _not_ part of the plan!

_Act cool. Act cool. ACT COOL!!_

“That’s why I didn’t run it past you,” Willie continued. “I remembered the rule about bringing on additional crew members. _Ha._ Of course I did. _Obviously_ I didn’t forget that rule. I just didn’t think my boyfriend was considered crew. His name is Alex. He’s, uh… shy. But he’s cool. Tell him a fun fact about yourself, Alex! Just as a little ice breaker. I’ll go first! I, uhm… I fly ships.”

There was an awkward beat of silence.

Willie nudged his ribs.

He cleared his throat.

“I… like… Dejarik.”

_Uh._

_No he didn’t._

_He wasn’t even remotely good at holochess._

He was a horrible liar.

Brades gave his answer, but Alex wasn’t paying attention. All he could think about was _how were they going to pull this ridiculously complex lie off?_

Alex desperately hoped Willie couldn’t hear just how hard his heart was beating. He hoped his pulse wasn’t as prominent as it felt in his neck. He hoped the blood rushing through his ears was only audible to him and not the others.

_Because wow._

He wasn’t too sure _why_ it felt like the floor had been ripped out from under his feet. He wasn’t sure why his hands were shaking with adrenaline from having Willie so close. He wasn’t sure why his mind seemed to short-circuit the moment Willie spoke the words ‘boyfriend’ because _it was all he could think about now._

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

Brades didn’t look any less exhausted once the ice breaker was done with. “William… You know we keep track of beings onboard so we can properly distribute rations. Anybody — crew, friends, boyfriends — counts towards that number.” He glanced towards the far side of the hangar. Alex’s gaze followed. There were dozens of crates stacked against the wall, each labelled with a ship name. “We might be able to find more rations for two this time. But next time—”

“Just make me down for two for now on,” Willie said quickly. “Alex is planning on staying with the _Phantom_ — or, uhhh… _with me_ for a while. Right, Lex?”

He tried to remain nonchalant, but his thoughts had gone up in flames.

_Lex. Lex. Lex. Lex. Lex._

_Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend._

“Right,” he agreed. His voice cracked.

Alex desperately tried to think about how two people in love acted. He needed to do _something_ to sell this cover story. What did people in love do?

_What did they do?!_

Alex cleared his throat and tilted his head towards Willie’s. The sides of their heads connected in what could be described as gracelessly. Alex dropped Willie’s hand and wrapped a stiff arm around his shoulders.

It was pure luck that Alex had gotten used to being this close to Willie over the last three weeks, with all their hugs and all the nights they fell asleep holding hands. It was almost _normal,_ the way Willie leaned into Alex’s side and hooked an arm around his waist.

“Alright. Two for _Phantom Rho.”_ Brades jutted his thumb towards the back of the hangar. “Let’s head up to my office for a chat, William. There’s a few things I need to run by you.” His gaze slid over to Alex again. Willie’s hand tightened around his waist. “Unfortunately, only _crews_ are allowed back there. You’ll have to stay in the hangar.”

Willie let out a forced laugh. “Are you sure? I mean—”

“William. You know the rules.” He took a step backwards, his expression expectant. “It’ll take ten minutes.”

Clearly, Willie didn’t want to leave Alex alone, judging based on the tight grip he had on him. Alex was the one to pull out of his hold and give an encouraging smile.

“Go,” he told him. “I’ll wait for you right here. Uh. Honey? Yeah. I’ll wait for you here, honey.”

_Help._

_Someone send help._

Willie took a step forward to follow Brades, but hesitated. He turned back to Alex, his expression unreadable, before returning to his side. In one swift movement, he stretched on his toes and placed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Alex’s heart stopped.

Yep. This was it. It was official. He was dead. It was the only explanation to the way his stomach swooped and his heart fluttered. Death had finally caught him.

Except… he wasn’t dead. The pounding of his heart assured him of that.

Willie gave a half-smile. “Uhm. Bye.”

Alex blinked owlishly. His cheeks burned. His words must’ve gotten lost on the way to his mouth because—

_Silence._

He couldn’t speak. Instead, he sent a thumbs up in Willie’s direction.

Willie looked bewildered at Alex’s choice of goodbyes, but didn’t say anything. He squeezed his forearm one last time and began to walk in step with Brades.

_For Force sake._

Alex shoved his hand into his pocket and bit his tongue. What was wrong with him? A thumbs up? _A freaking thumbs up?!_

Alex let out a tiny groan and turned back to the _Phantom._

Maybe it wasn’t too late to go hide in the smuggler’s hold. It sure as hell was less painful and embarrassing than whatever _that_ was.

As he walked back up the ramp, one single word spiralled around his mind.

_Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH. This chapter. The drama. THE DRAMA OF IT ALL. Fun times.
> 
> Also, shout out to Ryn for naming Brades. His original name was Chad because he felt like a Chad, but Brades has those space drama vibes. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	9. CHAPTER IX: GIJU & BESTINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the events of this chapter take place over the course of three weeks.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend._

Alex moved around the _Phantom_ as if on autopilot. The only thought he could manage was the fact Willie had called him his boyfriend and—

His fingers brushed against his cheek.

_No._

No need to think about that. 

No need to think about how _quick_ that peck was; how Alex barely even felt his lips graze his skin; how Alex hadn’t been shocked into silence by it; how it had made his mind go blank and his legs feel weak.

Alex forced those thoughts from his mind and continued to prep the _Phantom_ for repairs. He felt restless waiting in the _Phantom_ for Willie. Instead of pacing around, he had begun to fuel up the ship and he had lowered the cargo ramp in anticipation of someone from Rimma coming to pick up the remaining crates.

_Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend._

Why did that word matter so much? It didn’t _mean_ anything. Willie was smart when he used it because pretending to date was leagues better than breaking Rimma’s rules. He was already in enough trouble with everything that happened on Corellia; they didn’t need to add to that list.

_Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend—_

“So, you’re Willie’s Alex?”

Alex’s hand darted towards his lightsaber on instinct. He spun around, his heart hammering loudly in his ears, and—

Two pilots stood near the ramp of the _Phantom._ Both were at ease — Alex could tell from their posture — and he couldn’t sense any bad intentions in the Force.

He settled himself. His hand dropped to his side. He forced on a smile and hoped it looked genuine.

“Uh. Hi?” Alex’s eyes drifted to the container in their hands. He recognized the leaves poking out of the top easily. “Meiloorun tea?”

One pilot nudged the other. “See? He _is_ Willie’s Alex.” Alex blinked. What was that supposed to even mean? Luckily, he continued. “Of course Willie’s boyfriend is going to recognize his favourite tea.”

_Oh._

Right.

Boyfriend.

Alex put the pieces together quickly. These two pilots must’ve known Willie if they knew what his favourite tea was, which meant—

_He had to play the part._

“Oh. Yep. I’m Willie’s Alex. William’s Alex. Will’s Lex, as some like to say. His boyfriend. The love of his life.” _He wished he could stop talking._ He cleared his throat. “You’re… Dante and Fuego?” 

Those were the only two names Alex could remember Willie mentioning. He hoped he was right. Boyfriends should know friends’ names, right? That’s something boyfriends should know?

One of the pilots nudged the other. “Aw, Willie _talks_ about us? How special.”

 _Yep._ Alex guessed right. 

A wave of relief went through him.

_He could do this._

_He could pretend to be Willie’s boyfriend._

_How hard could it be?_

Alex met them part way up the ramp. He was right; the two pilots were Dante and Fuego — long-time friends of Willie’s. They were eager to talk to him. It was endearing, in a way, that these two were so excited to ‘finally’ meet Willie’s ‘boyfriend.’

Alex was used to pleasantries, just as he had been used to the small talk that followed. What he _wasn’t_ used to was all the questions that he did not have a single answer for. He was also not prepared for the _panic_ that came with not knowing the date of his supposed anniversary.

_That was a new one._

“I just… I don’t remember how long we’ve been together.”

_Read: Alex could not come up with a lie fast enough._

Dante laughed. “What do you mean you don’t remember?”

Fuego was his saving grace. “It’s because they’ve been together for _so long_ that it feels like they’ve _always_ been together. Right? I’ve been around enough couples to know that.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure. We have been, uh… _boyfriends…_ for… very long. We’re dating. Long-term. Definitely in a committed relationship.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where _Willie_ lets someone onto his crew voluntarily,” Dante joked. “Or get a boyfriend.”

Alex panicked. What was it that Willie said? “Oh. We are definitely boyfriends. Kissing is something that we do. Cuddling… cuddling is good. Uh… he makes hot chocolate for me? We hold hands? He shares blankets with me?” He clenched his jaw. Those last things — those weren’t limited to _boyfriends_ because _they already did that._ They already held hands, and hugged, and shared blankets. Then again, a good lie clung to the truth. “I assure you. Boyfriends. Very in love. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

_Again, that might have been closer to the truth than he was ready for._

“No, I didn’t mean it like _that._ I’m just… I’m happy for him. He’s always complained about crews, but it’s nice he has someone out there now, you know? Someone to make sure that he’s okay. Someone to make him happy. He looked really happy when he kissed you.”

He didn’t know why, but those words felt as though they wrapped around his soul and _squeezed._ He could barely breathe, never mind form a cohesive sentence. 

Alex cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yep. Mhmm. That’s what happened.”

Luck truly was on his side today because neither of the pilots picked up on the hesitation to his words.

_The conversation carried on._

Being Willie’s boyfriend was easy.

Well… being Willie’s _fake_ boyfriend was easy.

Alex barely had to think about it as he talked with the two pilots. In fact, if he thought about it too much, it got _weird_ because _he absolutely was not his boyfriend and this lie was coming way too easily._

But… he knew Willie. There was a knowledge that came with living with someone so closely for so long. He knew his quirks. He knew where he learned to braid hair. He knew he slept on his stomach. He knew he used to hoverboard when he was a kid and had more free time. He knew he could tell a full novel about the colour of the sky because _of course he did._

Alex knew Willie; he knew his passion, and his habits, and _it was easy._

It was easy to lie. It was easy to pretend.

Because that’s all this was. 

Pretend.

Alex had lost track of time as he talked. Dante and Fuego seemed nice enough, but Alex was struggling to focus on the conversation. 

_He kept thinking about Willie._

How long had he been gone for?

Alex hands hooked around the strap of his holster, purposefully keeping them near his lightsaber — _just in case._ While he tried to seem engrossed with the conversation, he couldn’t help but strain himself to sense what was going on in the hangar around them. The more time ticked by, the more worried he became.

Minutes passed.

Alex worried.

He glanced in the direction that Willie disappeared in. He scanned the hangar — his sight hopping from person to person — his stomach twisting itself in knots.

In the five weeks since they met, this was the first time Alex couldn’t even _sense_ Willie due to all the people around and the distance between them. With everything that happened on Corellia, Alex couldn’t help but worry about him. He was trained to anticipate unpredictable moves and strategies. He was trained to anticipate traps — which this very well could be.

_What if the Empire figured out Willie worked for Rimma?_

_What if the Empire knew the Jedi from Corellia escaped in a Rimma ship?_

_What if, what if, what if—_

It was the only thing running through his mind as the two pilots talked about their favourite music to dance to.

_All he could think about was Willie._

Dante leaned against the side of the _Phantom,_ his arms crossed and his expression full of mirth. He gestured towards the ship. “So, let me get this straight. He lets _you_ fly? _You?”_

“Uh. Yeah. If we’re in a pinch.” Alex winced. “That’s not against Rimma rules, is it?”

“No, I don’t care about that. I’m just surprised he let you in the cockpit.” Dante elbowed his co-pilot. “He nearly bit Fuego’s head off last time we ran a job with him.”

Fuego rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but that’s because it was _me._ Alex is—”

“Leaving.”

Alex’s heart leapt into his throat as soon as Willie appeared.

His expression was unreadable. He could feel him through the Force and it was shocking. There was a heaviness to his presence that usually wasn’t there — a heaviness that Alex could see weighing down his shoulders too.

“Willie! Hey! You’re—”

Willie didn’t even _pause_ when he passed Alex. Instead, he continued around the back of the ship and began to prepare for takeoff. The fuel nozzle was quickly unhooked from the _Phantom_ and tossed to the side. The cargo ramp was raised. The cart of tools that was parked near the front of the ship was dragged back to where it came from, clearing them for takeoff.

It was all done without a pause — without a glance in his direction — without a single word.

Alex watched. He felt lost, as if he was several steps behind his friend. There was something bothering him, that was painfully clear, but Alex couldn’t think of what it could be for the life of him.

“It was nice to meet you both,” Alex told the two pilots still hovering. Even though he couldn’t figure out what was bothering Willie, that didn’t change the fierce protectiveness that came over him. It didn’t matter _why_ he was upset; he was upset. He didn’t need an audience for that. “I’ll tell Willie that you wanted to talk to him?”

Dante cast a long look at Willie, who was now crouched on the other side of the _Phantom_ and out of sight. “You do that, but it looks like you two are taking off soon.”

“We’ll catch up another time.” It was easy to nudge them in the right direction with his words. In this case, that right direction was _away._ “See you both later.”

Alex watched their backs for a long moment, wanting to make sure they were truly headed back to their ship and not going to hover for conversation. They seemed nice enough — they even brought over more meiloorun tea for Willie — but something was _off._

(He tried to ignore how this feeling was different than others.)

(He tried to ignore how this feeling wasn’t coming from the Force — it wasn’t a reverberated emotion from around him. It was coming from the pit of his stomach, twisting its way through his body, gnawing at his soul. He tried to pretend that this horrible feeling hadn’t arisen as soon as Alex realized Willie was upset.)

(Then again, he had always been pretty bad at lying to himself.)

“Willie? Hey.” Alex jogged around to the other side of the _Phantom,_ trying to get an eye on him. His foot stuck out from underneath the belly of the ship. “What’s going on?” 

When Willie didn’t answer right away — when he _didn’t move or show signs of life_ — Alex got on his hands and knees and crawled to him. Willie was flat on his back, staring up at an open panel above. Alex flopped onto his back beside him, his heart still beating rapidly.

There, they lay together underneath the _Phantom,_ with Alex not having a clue as to what the hell they were doing.

“I’m trying to— here. Hold this?” Willie passed him a tool, taken from between his lips, and continued to work on a panel above their heads. “I’m trying to disable Rimma’s systems.”

Alex blinked.

“Aren’t those… important?”

“Yep. Tracking. Long range comms. The like.” Willie was clearly nervous and rushing. His hands fumbled with wires. He kept dropping his tool onto his chest through shaking fingers. “It was installed when I took the job, but… I quit.”

“You _what!?”_ Alex bolted up with shock. His head connected with the metal hull. He gripped his forehead and fell back to the ground. “Ouch. Shit. _What did you say?”_

Willie had paused to stare at him, his eyes wide and concerned, but Alex waved him off. He gave Alex one final long look before turning back to the panel. He plucked out a few wires.

Alex wasn’t sure if he heard him right, especially now that his head was throbbing.

“Did you just say you quit? You _quit?”_

“Maybe quit isn’t the right way to put it. I think the term is technically getting fired.”

_“You got fired?”_

Alex was struggling to comprehend what Willie was talking about. If he was _fired,_ then that meant—

“Can you hand me that?” Alex mindlessly passed Willie the tool. “Thanks.”

“I’m confused.”

“You did just dent my ship with your head.”

“I did _not._ Your ship dented _me.”_

Alex paused. He had missed Willie’s smile completely until that moment. Their eyes locked. A charged beat passed. They broke their gaze and laughed at the shared joke. It was almost exactly what he had said back when they first met.

Despite the gravity of the situation, Willie seemed to be in good spirits.

That only confused Alex more.

“I’m just— _Willie._ What happened?”

“Apparently I have one too many strikes against me. All of which are from Corellia. Yeah, they weren’t happy about that one.” Willie’s expression lit up as he pulled out a wire. “Here we go.” He severed the wire with a knife. “Just a few more things and we’ll be good to go.”

Alex pulled his hands back from his forehead with a wince. At least he wasn’t bleeding. 

“But— Okay. Wait.” He rolled onto his side so he could get a better view of Willie’s expression. “You’re serious? They fired you?”

“Yeah. Dead serious. Which is why I’m _trying_ to get the _Phantom_ out of here as quickly as possible. I want to be gone before they realize I’m taking her.”

Alex didn’t have enough energy to whack his head to the hull again. Instead, he let out a breathless sound and stared at Willie with wide eyes.

 _“You’re stealing the_ Phantom!?” he hissed.

“No! Of course not! Who do you think I am?” Willie gave Alex a long look. “She’s mine. I already worked enough to pay for her. That was the deal; I work to pay off my ship, then I work for profit. I just don’t want to put up a fight if it comes to it. I don’t think they’ll want compensation for all the fuel lost — my contract protected me from things like this — but I just don’t want to get into an argument with them.” 

“Okay,” Alex agreed immediately. He scooted closer to Willie. His hands rose to meet his at the panel. “What can I do to help?”

“I’m looking for a gold wire. Just… dig around a bit. But not too much. I want to be able to fly after this.”

With that in mind, they both began to shift wires around the panel. It was cramped. Their hands kept colliding. Their sides were pressed together. Alex kept glancing over his shoulder, expecting _something_ horrible to be coming for them because _of course it would be,_ but—

“Hey, so, listen.” Alex could feel Willie’s gaze on his face — locked onto him, studying him. It made Alex nervous. “I’m, uh… sorry about the whole… boyfriend thing.” Alex’s breath was knocked out of him. “I forgot about Rimma’s rule about crews. I never paid attention to that rule because _I was so sure_ I was never going to take on crew, and I— I panicked. I didn’t know what else to say to make Brades back off, so I told him you were my boyfriend and _I’m so sorry.”_

Alex bit his tongue.

His stomach tied itself in knots.

_He was apologizing._

_He was apologizing for pretending they were dating._

“It’s okay,” Alex said simply because _it was._ It was okay. “I… No harm, right? It’s fine.”

“I put you on the spot, and the physical contact was probably a bit much, but I just thought it would really _sell_ it, you know? I’m sorry though and—”

“Willie,” Alex cut him off. Their eyes were drawn together. His movements halted, giving Alex his undivided attention. “I mean it. It’s okay. It was a good move — a _smart_ move.”

 _And it was a typical Willie move._ He was all about distractions and diversions. It didn’t surprise Alex that this was his first instinct.

“You’re a fast thinker. That’s _good._ I’m glad you got us out of that one.”

Willie stared at him for a long moment. Alex tried to convey his sincerity because _he was telling the truth._ It was a good and strategic move that did not leave Alex shaken, not at all. He hadn’t been thinking about Willie’s arm around his waist, or his lips against his cheek, or the way his voice sounded when he spoke the word ‘boyfriend.’

Absolutely not.

It was purely strategic. There were no emotions. No thoughts had been stirred up.

_Just strategy._

Alex must’ve done a good job at conveying that because, _finally,_ Willie cracked. He let out a shaking breath and nodded his head. The smile that followed was weak.

“Okay. Yeah. Cool. Thanks.” He turned back to the panel and continued to work. “You’re, uh… pretty good at pretending.”

_Yes. He was._

Strange.

“I mean, you are too.” Alex smirked. “I mean, c’mon, man. The _smooch power you have?”_

He said that.

He really freaking said that.

_Alex wanted to simply fade away._

Luckily, Willie thought his horribly embarrassing comments were hilarious. He let out a loud laugh. He fell flush against the floor before turning his head to the side. Alex couldn’t help but notice how his hair fell across his cheek and spilled over his shoulder.

“You’re funny,” he said. “For future reference, ‘honey’ is not my favourite term of endearment. I prefer ‘my love,’ actually.”

_The Jedi Order had prepared him for many situations._

_This was not one of them._

Alex floundered for words — _any words! Please, brain, just give him something—_

“Uh… noted… my love.”

_No!_

_Not that!_

He did not just call Willie ‘my love,’ did he?

_Nope. No. Not at all. Absolutely not._

Alex continued, desperately trying to fix whatever garbage he just spewed. “I mean, not that there will be a _next time._ But, yeah, cool. I’ll be sure to pass on the note to your future boyfriend.”

Alex was too winded to keep working and his hands remained glued to the ground beneath him. Willie, on the other hand, snorted and refocused on the task above him. “You better stick around long enough to meet my boyfriend, Alex, and you two better get along.”

For an unexplainable reason, Alex’s heart was now located somewhere in his stomach.

His chest felt _weird._ Almost hollow.

It was because of the surprise. It had to have been. He was just _surprised_ by Willie’s admission, nothing else.

“Oh. Uh.” Alex cleared his throat and shifted. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. _Not that it matters._ I just assumed, but—”

“Dude.” Willie laughed. “No, I just meant any _future_ boyfriends. You’re going to be first to meet them.”

His laugh sounded flat even to him. “Cool. Cool. Nice.”

“I’m _definitely_ single. Didn’t I tell you about my lack of hugs? Because I definitely have a lack of hugs in my life.” Willie was about to say something else, but stopped abruptly as soon as he split another wire. He let out a little cheer. “Alright! That’s the last one! Let’s go.”

Together, they hauled themselves out from under the ship. Alex desperately wished they could slow down and _take a second._ He wanted to ask Willie if he was okay. He wanted to talk to him about the misery he was feeling. He wanted to offer words of comfort, but—

Willie was in a rush, and Alex had learned from firsthand experience that it was best to trust the pilot’s instincts in these situations.

It was only when Giju was a blue sphere behind them that Willie let out a long breath and slumped back in his seat. It was as if all the emotions he had been feeling on Giju were amplified now that they were safely away with the ship.

Maybe it was because the Force wasn’t filled with the emotions of all the other people in the hanger, or maybe it was because Willie was fully feeling every one of his emotions — it didn’t matter. Alex could feel them now; sharper, clearer, more intense.

Alex took over the controls, but didn’t dare break the heavy silence they had fallen into. Instead, he reached out and rested a hand on Willie’s shoulder, hoping that the simple touch would bring him as much comfort that Willie’s touches brought.

Alex understood what Willie was going through. He was right earlier, when he related Rimma to the Jedi Order. Alex grew up in the Jedi Order. They were his family. They were his _world._ Rimma was Willie’s family. He told him before, back when they were still strangers, that Rimma was his saviour.

_And now they were gone._

Alex understood that. The loss of family. The feeling of the ground being ripped out from under foot. The disorientation that came with being out in the galaxy _all alone_ for the first time.

_Alex understood Willie._

“I’ll set the navs for the next sector,” Alex said, his voice even. “And then we’re having hot chocolate. Okay? I think we deserve some after, uh… after everything. And—”

“I’m sorry.”

The way Willie looked at him knocked the breath from his lungs.

He looked _wrecked._ His eyes were moist. His lips were thin. His throat bobbed with each swallow. His fingers grasped the key hanging from the chain around his neck tight enough to make his knuckles strain.

Again, he repeated those same words.

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

“No. No, don’t be,” he said. “This isn’t your fault. Okay? We don’t need Rimma. We can—”

Willie let out a wet laugh and turned away. His eyes squeezed shut. “Rimma made things a _hell_ of a lot easier though. We had _credits,_ and _spaceports,_ and— now we don’t. We don’t have _any_ of that. That’s what I was good for. I was good because I was useful — I was helping you and—”

“You’re more than just that,” Alex told him firmly. “You’re more than just a connection to Rimma, Willie. I don’t care that it’s gone now. I’m—” He sighed and chose his words carefully. “I am worried about _you_ right now. Not Rimma. I care about _you.”_

“But your mission is going to be so much harder without Rimma’s resources, and—” He crossed his arms tightly. Alex felt so shut out and it made him ache. “Listen, I can probably find you another ride if we go to—”

“Another ride?” Alex gawked. “Dude, I thought— I thought we talked about this before? That we agreed to stick together?”

“It’ll be harder without Rimma,” Willie warned him. “I don’t know where I’m going to fuel up, or— or get credits for a hyperdrive, or get _food_ because Rimma isn’t providing rations anymore. I just… It’s going to be _impossible_ if you stick with me. You see that, right? No credits, no hyperdrive, no quick transport.”

“Willie,” Alex breathed. It felt as though his heart was cracking in two from the amount of emotion rushing through him. His fingers shook as they grazed against Willie’s arm. “Willie, you are more than Rimma. You are more than just a means to my end. You are my friend. Okay? _You’re my friend._ I’m not sticking with you because it’ll be easier — I’m here because I want to be here. We’re doing this together. That’s the deal.” 

He squeezed his arm. Their eyes _finally_ knocked. Alex struggled to keep breathing through the emotion housed in Willie’s eyes. 

Alex continued to speak, softer now. “You’re more to me than just a transport. You’re more to me than Rimma, or fuel, or even the _Phantom._ I…” He thought back to the words he spoke on Giju to Dante and Fuego — the words he said when trying to convince them he was Willie’s boyfriend. It was almost scary, how they rang so true here. “I don’t know where I would be without you. I can’t imagine doing this without you.”

_He was not attached. He was not attached. He was not attached. He was not attached._

Alex had begun to move around the cockpit again, both as a distraction from the thoughts _screaming_ through his mind, and because he knew what Willie needed. He knew what Willie needed, and it wasn’t this; sitting in a cockpit, flying away from a planet that housed people he loved, fresh after the loss of something he considered home.

“Come on,” Alex said, hauling Willie to his feet. With one last glance at the navs, he began to guide them from the cockpit. “We are getting some hot chocolate. And we’re—”

“Alex?”

The waver to Willie’s voice made Alex freeze.

He turned to face him.

Willie was standing with his arms pulled tight around his torso, as if he was closing in on himself. Alex’s chest tightened.

“Can I have a hug?”

The hug that followed was different than the previous ones. Willie melted against Alex, as if he couldn’t bear to keep standing alone, and his hands curled into the back of his jumpsuit. Usually, it was the other way around, with Willie the strong support and Alex melting into him.

It was different, yet beautiful in its own way.

Alex hadn’t felt like this before. This _need_ to comfort someone. This desire to make them smile, or to lessen their burden, or to support them with a hug.

He felt that with Willie though.

“I’m sorry about Rimma,” Alex said, his voice low.

Willie’s grip tightened. He grew tense. “It’s fine. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.”

“I know.” And he did. Ever since they talked all those weeks ago, Alex _knew_ Willie didn’t and wouldn’t blame him for what happened on Corellia. He wasn’t apologizing for that though; he was apologizing because _he understood._ “I just… I understand. I understand what it’s like to lose something as important as Rimma was to you. I’m really sorry you have to experience that.”

Willie let out a long breath and pulled away, looking as resolved as ever. “It’s fine. I’m fine. _I am._ All that matters now is your mission. That’s the main goal now; get to the Outer Rim and begin our search for other Jedi.” His face fell. “Shit. Without a hyperdrive… and without credits for a hyperdrive… It’s going to take _weeks_ until we hit the Outer Rim.”

Alex knew his estimation was off. Without a hyperdrive, it wasn’t going to just take weeks. It was going to take _months._ Years, even.

That was a problem for later though. Right now, all he wanted to do was make sure Willie was okay.

“I forgot to tell you,” Alex said. “Your friends gave you more meiloorun tea.” Willie’s face lit up. “We should have a cup.”

He laughed. “You? Willingly drink meiloorun tea? I’d love to see it.”

_That was exactly why he was going to do it._

“Hey, someone’s gotta test to see if this batch is any better than the last. Maybe the aftertaste isn’t as bad this time.”

“Alex, you’re great, but _come on._ How many times do I have to tell you? It’s _supposed_ to have an aftertaste. And, you know what? It’s _fantastic!”_

Willie launched into a full discussion on meiloorun tea as they made their way to the living quarters.

It was impossible not to smile at him.

* * *

Alex was practicing his forms in the cargo hold when the idea came to him.

“Hey,” he said, breathless from his workout and from sprinting across the ship. “How do you feel about selling the fuel?”

Willie looked up from the navs and lifted an eyebrow. “What fuel? It’s back on Corellia, remember?”

“The fuel in the cargo hold.” Alex slid into the co-pilot seat. He was nearly vibrating with excitement from the plan forming. “We have two crates of fuel left. If we sell it, we can get a decent amount of credits. Like, not a lot, but enough to get a hyperdrive.”

Realization hit Willie slowly. 

“I completely forgot about those crates.” He turned back to the navs, his eyes intense and his forehead creased with thought. “Depending on which planet the fuel is sold on, we can get a decent profit from it. We just need the right planet…” Willie was silent for a long moment. “We’re two weeks out from Kelada. I’m, like, seventy-percent sure that fuel is ridiculously expensive on that planet, right?”

“Yeah. You’re right. My friend, Bobby, he… he had a mission there last year. He mentioned the fuel price when he came back. Luke… Luke was about to leave on his mission, and…” Alex swallowed thickly. It was the last time all three of them were together. It was the last time all three of them would ever be together again because _he was the last one._ He was the last one, and— “It’ll work. Kelada is our best bet.”

He couldn’t think about Bobby.

He couldn’t think about Luke.

He couldn’t think about the brothers he lost — not his fellow Padawans, not his clones — _nobody._

Not yet.

“Kelada is our best bet for making profit and Bestine is our best bet for getting a cheap hyperdrive. Between the amount of traffic Bestine sees and the number of factories it has, I know there will be more than one option. _And_ it’ll only take us a week to get to Bestine from Kelada.”

Alex nodded. “Let’s set the navs.”

That was it.

A plan.

It was more than either of them had since leaving Giju and Rimma behind. Having a destination relieved tension from Alex’s shoulders and eased his mind the slightest bit. It might not’ve been a whole plan to rebuild the Order, but it was _something,_ and that was good enough for him.

Step by step, they were going to do this.

* * *

The weeks passed quickly. 

Days were spent one of few ways; Alex was either playing holochess, practicing forms, attempting to meditate, reading through files on Willie’s holopad, studying the schematics around the ship, or studying him.

Nights were always spent in the back bunks. It was routine, for both Willie to talk to Alex as he fell asleep. Quickly, it became one of Alex’s favourite parts of their time spent on the _Phantom._ Sure, they were together all of the time, but there was something different — something special — that came with the intimacy of talking to each other under the cover of darkness. Those moments in the night, when they were both awake and the galaxy was silent, it made Alex feel as though they were in an entirely different world — just the two of them.

They didn’t hold hands again, not after that first night, but they didn’t have to. Being with him, hearing each of his steady breaths, whispering to each other as his eyes grew heavy — it came with a connectedness that went beyond the need for physical touch.

Still, physical touch was nice — especially after Alex kept trying, and trying, and _trying_ to meditate.

He was getting better at connecting to the Force, even though it was still so different than before. Day by day, the Force seemed to lose its chill — or, maybe, Alex was getting better at tolerating it. He wasn’t sure which was the truth, but he wasn’t sure if it mattered.

To Alex, it felt as though the damage echoing in the Force was fading. It reminded him of a river washing away a dam, or nature breaking through cityscapes, or animals taking back factories. _It was as if it was healing._ If the Force resembled a fractured spider web after the Jedi fell, then it felt as though strands of silk were beginning to weave back together again.

Slowly — _ever so slowly —_ Alex could feel himself reconnecting to the Force around him.

* * *

The Force vision came on suddenly.

Unlike his other visions, these were simply flashes of images and feelings. They were muddled and brief, as if he was trying to catch glimpses of the ground beneath a rapidly flowing river.

The Temple. He saw the Temple the night it fell. He was back in the room of the Room of a Thousand Fountains; he was _so sure_ of it from the way the air had felt — clinging to his skin from the humidity and as heavy as his drenched clothing.

A second flash of a world he hadn’t seen before. The sand beneath him was as red as rust. He could feel the heat of it against the palms of his hands, just as he could feel the heat of a lightsaber inches away from his face. Desperation flooded his senses. Brilliant blue light hit the sand. A sound of lightsabers clashing—

A third image — this one as familiar as the first. Julie and Reggie, back on the platform on the planet with two moons. It must’ve been only minutes after he had last seen them, as they both wore the same formal wear, and yet _it was so different._ Terror hit Alex in the heart — an echo of the terror the two royals were feeling as they lunged to the ground. Above them, blaster fire echoed.

A flash of an image of a control room. Grey walls, grey floors, grey panels, a kaleidoscope of buttons. A logo of a cogwheel on a piece of paper on top of the nearest control panel. It was a logo Alex recognized. _HoloNet News._

And finally, the last image came and went faster than he could truly comprehend — a flash of two lightsabers illuminating the night. The glow of the blades blended with each other. _Magenta and blue together._

Alex was pulled from his meditation gasping. He blinked up at the ceiling of the cargo hold and counted his breaths. He pushed his hair from his forehead, now dripping with sweat and hanging unpleasantly into his eyes.

Five images. Five flashes. Five very different feelings.

It felt as though Alex had been thrown into a trash compactor. He couldn’t separate emotion from emotion — feeling from feeling. All he knew was the shaking in his limbs and the tremble of his breath.

He also knew this; the Force was trying to guide him.

The images were so clear. While they were all unrelated at first glance, they all seemingly answered the one question plaguing Alex’s mind.

_How was he going to complete his mission?_

And these images, they _answered that._ It was so clear. He hadn’t been more sure about anything else in his life. The final image — the one of the blue and magenta lightsabers together — it lit a spark of hope in him that he had been missing for a while.

_He would stand with a Jedi Knight again._

Not just any Jedi Knight; he was going to stand with the Jedi Knight that he had seen on the platform with Julie and Reggie. He _knew_ it was the same person — he could feel it in his bones. The Force had all but whispered it to him, with the brief appearance of Julie and Reggie.

 _How was he going to find the Jedi Knight from his visions?_ Finally — _finally_ — the Force had shown him the final piece to this puzzle.

HoloNet News.

He had seen the logo for HoloNet News in the control room. HoloNet News — a broadcast that reached all corners of the galaxy, all the way from Coruscant to the Outer Rim.

Alex was across the ship and at Willie’s side before he had caught his breath. He grasped his shoulder, jarring him awake from where he’d fallen asleep in the pilot’s chair.

“Hm? Alex?”

Before Willie's eyes could focus on him, Alex was speaking — breathless and elated. “I know… I know what I have to do. For the mission. I know.”

 _That_ pulled Willie from the lingering tendrils of sleep. His eyes shot open. His hands locked on Alex’s elbows.

“What? What happened?”

“I know how to find the Jedi Master I’m looking for.” It was so _obvious_ really — so clear, so simple. Alex let out a breathless laugh. “I’m going to take over a HoloNet broadcast.”

* * *

Willie was cautiously optimistic. 

Okay — maybe optimistic was the wrong word.

_He was cautious._

Later that day, when the adrenaline had subsided and they began to plot the rest of their journey, Willie turned to him.

“Do you know _anything_ about HoloNet?”

“No.” 

He didn’t. He didn’t know how they were going to take over a HoloNet broadcast. He didn’t even know where HoloNet broadcasts originated from. But if it wasn’t possible — if it wasn’t going to be easy to figure out — then why was the Force so clear?

When he told Willie this, he looked hesitant. He spoke slowly, as if he didn’t truly want to be saying the words that followed.

“I… Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy we’re figuring this out. _I am._ And I trust you, but… I thought you said that your vision things can have multiple interpretations? How do you know—”

“Not this one,” Alex insisted. “This one was _so clear._ I _saw_ the HoloNet News logo. I saw the broadcast room. I _know_ we get there, and I know this works.” A bright feeling bubbled up in him. “I _saw_ myself with the Jedi Master. I mean, I didn’t see _us_ — I saw our lightsabers, but that’s close enough. This will work. I know it.”

Willie studied Alex for a long moment. The smile on Alex’s face and the ease in his shoulders were not forced. He hadn’t felt this good — this sure — this confident about anything in a long time.

_It was going to work._

It was going to work and he was going to _finally_ reunite with another surviving Jedi — a Jedi that would help him complete his Master’s final mission.

Willie visibly relaxed after he studied Alex’s expression. He pulled out his holopad and began to scroll.

“Okay, so… If we look into it on Bestine, I think we’ll be able to—”

* * *

Kelada was just one stop out of many.

Without having fuel on the _Phantom,_ they couldn’t refuel in space again. Each time, they had to land on a planet and _hope_ they would have enough credits.

Their days became less dependent on hope once they reached Kelada and sold the remaining Rimma fuel. With enough credits to guarantee their trip to Bestine and a plan in development to find the Jedi Master from his visions, Alex finally felt _good._ He finally felt like he was on the right path.

* * *

Alex spun his lightsaber in front of him. His muscles ached from how long he had been practicing. Sweat drenched his shirt and beaded down his temple. His hair — _Force,_ his hair was starting to get long now — was pushed off his forehead as he worked.

“Hey!” There was a knock on the metal wall just outside the cargo hold. “Alex? I need your opinion on something.”

Alex lowered his lightsaber, but didn’t extinguish it. The blade hummed at his side, painting the cargo hold pink.

“What’s up?” When Willie didn’t immediately enter the room, Alex straightened and laughed. “You can come in if you want?”

It was as though the pilot was waiting for that permission. He entered the room, each of his steps hesitant and slow. 

“Uh. Hi. I didn’t know if us mere mortals are allowed to see a Jedi in all their glory.” When he appeared in the doorway, his eyes were instantly drawn to the glowing lightsaber. His eyebrows shot up and his lips parted. Willie dragged his eyes back to Alex’s. “You know,” he forced out, “fairy tales and all. Someone once told me if we looked at their laser swords, we would, like, turn into dust or something.”

Alex grinned. Willie’s amazement was endearing. He waved his lightsaber the slightest bit at his side. It sounded beautiful as it moved through the air.

“I promise you, you won’t turn to dust.”

With that promise in place, Willie’s gaze dropped to study the blade again. Alex lifted it slowly, his gaze never leaving Willie’s face, watching for a reaction or any sign of fright. If anything, he looked amazed and intrigued.

“It’s beautiful,” Willie told him honestly. “The colour suits you.”

“Thanks.” Alex pressed a button on the hilt, extinguishing the blade. He walked the remaining distance to Willie, still unable to look away from his awed expression. “You know, some of my clones… they thought so too. Five of them painted a magenta bracelet on their armour.”

There was a sting that came with remembering them.

He pushed those thoughts away quickly.

“You’ve never seen a lightsaber before?” Alex asked. He knew Willie hadn’t seen his; on Corellia, he was already in the cockpit, preparing the ship for takeoff. Any time since then, Alex had been down in the cargo hold alone to practice.

“No. Never. I mean, when I was really young, I saw two Jedi before… but other than that, I’ve never had another encounter.” He smirked. “I just know you have fancy swords and magic powers.”

Alex had to fight a grin at that. “Well, it’s more complicated than that.”

“I know. ‘It’s not magic.’” Willie winked. Alex’s heart pounded a little harder at that. “This is my first time seeing one. Lightsabers are really bright. And _hot.”_ Willie’s mouth snapped shut. His eyes darted to Alex’s. “Like. In temperature. Lightsabers are really bright and hot as in _warm.”_

Uh. Okay. That was strange. Why did Willie look so flustered all of a sudden?

Alex tried his best to ignore the sudden shift in Willie and the tension that came with it.

“Uh. Yeah. They’re plasma, dude, so they’re pretty warm. You have to be really careful around them. In the wrong hands, they can do a lot of damage.” His fingers brushed over the familiar metal. Memories came rushing back. They were always so close to the surface when he was practicing. “The Jedi Masters always taught me that this weapon is my life. If I lose it, not only am I putting others in danger by not being able to help them, but I might be putting a weapon into the hands of someone who wants to do harm to others.”

“That’s why you always have it on you,” Willie guessed. “You rarely put it down.”

“That, _and_ I want to be prepared. Just in case something happens.” Alex’s thoughts went somewhere they absolutely did not have permission to go. His chest panged. His lungs felt heavy. “Besides… with all the remaining Jedi gone… I can’t get another one if something happens to this one.” His hands tightened on the metal. “This is _it._ I have one lightsaber until I can rebuild the Order enough. If I lose it, or if something happens to it…”

Willie’s touch was comforting. His fingers brushed against his forearm in silent support.

“It’s important,” Willie summarized for him. “You do a good job of keeping it safe. It’s stunning.” He laughed. “I haven’t even seen it in action. I can’t imagine how good it would look.”

Alex lifted an eyebrow and took a few steps back. “I mean… I might not be deflecting blaster bolts in here, but I can run through a few forms for you?”

Alex’s heart skipped a beat from how Willie’s eyes lit up. “I can watch? Really?”

“Of course.”

Really, Alex _wanted_ Willie to watch. He couldn’t stop looking at his expression. He was so awed at something so _normal_ to Alex, and it was absolutely captivating to watch. Seeing him so happy, so amazed, so astonished — it made Alex’s stomach flip the slightest bit.

 _But he couldn’t tell him that._ He couldn’t tell Willie that he wanted him to stay because he liked seeing him happy — because he liked being the cause of his happiness. 

_He couldn’t say that._

Instead—

His lightsaber was brought to life. The cargo hold’s walls turned magenta once again. Willie’s face was illuminated.

Alex had to force himself to turn away and focus on the task.

* * *

“You look ridiculous.” Alex turned around gobsmacked. Willie wrinkled his nose. “Okay, it’s not just you. _I_ look ridiculous too. Or at least I _feel_ like it.” He tugged on the back of his jumpsuit, pulling a face. “I think we stitched these wrong. I’m pretty sure I have a permanent wedgie.”

 _“Hey,_ you’re the one who convinced me that we could do it ourselves.” Alex adjusted his own jumpsuit and frowned. “Ditto to the wedgie part. And the ridiculous part.”

They walked shoulder to shoulder around the Bestine spaceport. Leaving the _Phantom_ behind made Alex’s skin crawl. He felt as though he was missing a part of his soul as they descended the ship and began to walk around the port.

It was only natural, wasn’t it? After they had been trapped on the ship for so long?

Eight weeks.

It had been eight weeks since the fall of the Jedi Order. _Eight full weeks_ were spent on-board the _Phantom._ Eight full weeks were spent breathing the same air, walking the same paths, seeing the same walls.

It was exhausting.

Alex never thought he would ever be so exhausted from doing almost _nothing_ for weeks on end, but he was _so tired._ It was easy to lose track of days and reality when he was seeing the same person and doing the same things _every single day._

Bestine was a spark in the dark. It was a _cold_ and _wet_ planet, but it was one of the most beautiful things Alex had ever seen. He underestimated how sweet it was to breathe in fresh air — to feel steady ground beneath his feet — to hear and feel a whole planet filled with life.

Willie bumped into him as he adjusted his jumpsuit. He looked miserable.

“Let’s just remember it was necessary,” Alex said. “Walking around with Rimma jumpsuits would be suspicious.” It was why they had sewed on pieces from an old blanket across the Rimma logo on the back of their jumpsuits. Anonymity was key, especially now that they weren’t tied to the trading company.

“I mean, we already are suspicious. The Rimma logo is on the ship.”

Alex glanced back at the _Phantom._ While the Rimma logo was faded, it was still clearly visible on the siding.

“Yeah, well… We’ll just say we purchased the ship from the company. That’s the truth, isn’t it? People don’t need to know details.”

They came to stand along the railing of the spaceport, looking out at a vast ocean. The air was thick with smog and smoke, nearly blotting out the sun above. Several factories could be seen in the distance — the source for much of the pollution in the air.

Alex turned his gaze to the ocean below. The fierceness reminded him of Corellia. The tops of the waves looked nearly white from their strength. Water sprayed into the air, wetting everything around them as if it was raining.

Willie leaned on the railing. Alex took in his appearance. He looked so at home even though this was his first time visiting this planet. His hands hung over the railing and were clasped together. His face was turned towards the sky, looking so peaceful. Alex was thankful that his hair had been tied back in a low bun; it allowed him to study the way his cheeks dimpled with a smile and the way his eyes closed with bliss. His cheeks were dotted with tiny droplets of water from the tides below them. 

_He was beautiful._

It was just an observation. _Really._ It was simply a fact.

Willie was beautiful.

“What do you think?” he asked, his gaze opening to the ocean. Alex forced his eyes off of the water trailing down Willie’s face and joined him in looking out at the planet. “Do you think we’ll be able to survive here for a week?”

“Oh no. We’ll have to live on a beautiful planet for a whole week. The horror,” Alex responded dryly. Willie bumped his shoulder against his. They both grinned. “Yeah. Yeah, we’ll be fine. It’s worth it too. Once we get a hyperdrive, we can head towards the Outer Rim and figure out how to broadcast that signal.”

Alex was feeling _so_ good. With the hyperdrive they purchased as soon as they arrived on Bestine and with the installation imminent, they were closer than ever to getting to the Outer Rim.

“I just wish it wasn’t going to take so long,” Willie complained. “A week is a _long_ time for a hyperdrive to be installed.” He had said so to the owner of the spaceport, yet they were firm. It was going to take one week for installation.

Alex had to agree with Willie. A week _was_ a fairly long time to install a hyperdrive. He already felt antsy. When they were making progress — even if it was slow progress — he felt better. But now? Now, they were going to be stuck on Bestine for a full week with nothing to do.

“One week of waiting,” Alex reminded both of them. “Only one week spent here doing nothing and it will cut down _months_ of time later. It’s worth it.”

“It’s worth it,” Willie agreed.

There was a long moment where neither of them said anything. The only sound came from the waves crashing against the spaceport and the distant call of animals. Alex’s lips pulled into a smile and his eyes slid closed, feeling content in the moment.

He felt someone watching him though—

Willie glanced away as soon as Alex reopened his eyes.

“Uh.” Willie shifted awkwardly. “Your hair. It’s growing.”

“That’s generally what hair does.”

He gave Alex an unimpressed look. “I meant it’s getting longer, dude. You look good. Your hair. Your hair looks good. It’s nice. It’s, uh… nice.” He rubbed his forehead. “Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”

Alex stared at Willie, feeling confused once again. “Uh… say what?”

His laugh was forced. “See. There we go. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Alex was confused, but he didn’t say anything. He wanted to relish this moment of peace.

Once again, they lapsed into silence.

It was nice. Despite having spent eight weeks with Willie, Alex wasn’t tired of him. He doubted he would ever get tired of him. Being with Willie made him feel _right._

Finally, Willie broke the silence. His head dipped below his shoulders, coming to rest on top of his hands. “I just can’t get over the fact it’s going to take a whole week to install the hyperdrive on the _Phantom,”_ he complained. “I can do it myself in half that time.”

“Really? I’d like to see you try.”

Alex jolted away from the railing as a new voice came from behind them. Standing a few feet away was a girl, looking _extremely_ amused. She wore a jumpsuit similar to theirs — although hers was covered in oil splatters and scorch marks from what looked like many hours of hard work. 

Her gaze flicked between Alex and Willie. She lifted an eyebrow.

“Which one of you is Captain William?”

Willie lifted his hand. “Uh. Hi. I’m Willie. You are?”

She stuck her hand out towards him, still looking like she was seconds away from laughing. “I’m going to be installing the hyperdrive on your ship. I’m Flynn.”

_Flynn._

_Flynn, Flynn, Flynn—_

Suddenly, Alex wasn’t on Bestine anymore. He was thousands of lightyears away, standing on a very different platform on a very different planet.

His legs nearly buckled under him. His head spun. A wave of nausea hit him as strong as the tide on Bestine—

_Or as strong as the tide on this planet._

The planet with two moons.

Alex blinked away the blurriness of his eyes, willing himself to _stay awake_ and to _stay alert._ He gasped for breath and reached out with the Force, clinging to the images in front of him.

A Force vision.

This was a Force vision.

He didn’t know what brought it on. He’d never had one happen so violently, where he was ripped out of his reality and thrown into a new one. They always happened in dreams or while meditating, but—

He was sure.

This was a Force vision — and one he recognized. He had been here before. He had seen these images before.

Four clones framed the two beings in front of him — one dressed in a black robe with slicked back hair, one in a purple dress and a crown on top of her head.

Julie.

Reggie.

“My dad’s waiting for us. Come on, Reggie, you’re _late.”_

Those words.

Those were the same ones spoken at the tail end of his last vision.

The events of this vision must’ve happened mere seconds after the previous one. Reggie must’ve just landed on the planet after he returned from Coruscant. He must’ve just reunited with Julie. The clones weren’t attacking, only protecting, and—

“Hey! It’s not my fault,” Reggie defended himself. “There was… space traffic.”

Alex had to jog to catch up to the two royals. They were walking briskly towards the spaceport at the end of the platform. Meeting them at the mouth of the building was another half dozen of clones and—

Alex swore the world was ripped out from under his feet. The breath was knocked from his lungs. His ears rang. The rest of the world — the spaceport in the background, the clones with blasters, Julie and Reggie laughing — it faded away.

_Nothing else mattered._

Standing at the entrance of the spaceport was a Jedi.

_A Jedi he recognized._

He’d been on missions with them before. He had trained with them. He looked up to them.

_He knew them._

“Master Palabee,” Alex breathed.

This time, his legs _did_ buckle from underneath him. He hit the ground roughly, but he was too shocked to feel any pain — he was too surprised to call out.

_Master Palabee._

_Luke’s Jedi Master._

_Luke Patterson’s teacher._

She wore classic Jedi robes and it made Alex ache — he didn’t know how much he missed seeing cloaks until he saw hers. He didn’t know how much he missed seeing a familiar face until he saw hers. 

A familiar face. _Finally, a familiar face._

There she stood, looking _exactly_ as he remembered. Same robes, same smile, same lightsaber. The only thing that was missing—

Luke.

Alex didn’t know where he found the strength to push to his legs, but suddenly he was rushing forward. His heart was _pounding_ so hard that he could feel it echo through his body. His feet slapped against the ground, jarring the breath out of him with each step.

Just as he was about to call out for his friend, the scene changed. It was as if the world had been turned on its head within an instant. The same spaceport was in front of him — the same platform was beneath his feet, but—

The rain soaked him. The screams of Julie and Reggie were familiar. The red blade in the distance hissed through the air.

And there, standing mere _feet_ away from him was—

The Jedi.

Alex’s gaze was drawn to the lightsaber in their hand. He hadn’t been close enough to see it before, but now—

There was no mistaking it.

Alex recognized the hilt as Master Palabee’s.

His gaze was wild. His pulse raced. His blood rushed through his ears. His hands shook violently at his sides. His stomach dropped because—

“Luke?” His voice came out so _small._ He tried again, stronger this time. _“Luke!?”_

Alex spun, and spun, and—

Luke wasn’t there.

It was just his Master, coming to rescue the two royals from the red blade.

_No. No, no, no, no—_

“NO!”

“Woah!”

Alex smashed his forehead against Willie’s. They both recoiled. Alex fell back to the ground and clutched his forehead, hoping his grasp would stop the pain shooting from his head. It wasn’t just from where he smacked into Willie though, it was _everything._

The vision. The energy he used to uphold the connection. The impact on Willie’s forehead.

He blinked up at the grey sky and gasped for breath.

Luke’s Jedi Master.

She was the one the Force was connecting him with.

It was _her_ who was rescuing Julie and Reggie from the red blade. It was _her_ who was waiting for them on the platform after their reunion. It was _her_ lightsaber that had appeared in all those other visions.

She was the Jedi Master with the blue blade.

While his ears were still ringing, he could faintly make out Willie’s voice above him. He turned his gaze from the clouds to him.

“Alex? Alex, hey!” Willie leaned forward, still clutching his forehead. He looked concerned and panicked. “Are you okay? What’s—”

“I know where the Jedi Master is,” Alex breathed. He could barely feel his lips from the amount of shock he was in. _Still, he spoke._ “I know where we have to go.”

_After all, Luke went where Master Palabee went._

And Alex knew the planet of Luke’s final mission.

He knew where he had gone, only to never return.

It was where they were going to have to go next to find Luke’s teacher — it was where Alex was going to have to go if he had any hope of rebuilding the Jedi Order.

“What?” Willie leaned closer. His voice dropped to a whisper. Stray strands of his hair tickled Alex’s nose. “Was that another vision? What happened?”

Still gasping for breath, Alex spoke. “Calliope. That’s where we will find the Jedi Master — on Calliope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! Palabee is apparently a Star Wars character in ?? a comic?? Do I know anything about her? No. But I vibe with the name so welcome!
> 
> ALSO. A huge shout out to the lovely Ryn for making MORE art for this fic. This has some scenes from chapter 6 & 7 AND we get a glimpse at space princess Julie!! [You can see it on thesunwillart's Tumblr!!](https://thesunwillart.tumblr.com/post/640354294215983104/no-thoughts-only-star-wars-au)
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	10. CHAPTER X: BESTINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: discussion of character death

The mechanic would not leave them alone.

She was hovering a few feet away from where Alex and Willie were sitting on the ground, still trying to catch their breaths. Alex’s heart hadn’t settled back in his chest. A wave of grief had risen up in him because—

_ Luke. _

Luke hadn’t been in either vision. Luke wasn’t standing beside Master Palabee at the spaceport the day Reggie reunited with Julie, just as he wasn’t standing beside her while she faced down the red blade.

He wasn’t with her.

And if he wasn’t with her—

Alex felt sick. There was only one conclusion though, and he would’ve been lying to himself if he didn’t face it.

_ Luke was dead. _

Something snapped in him. A bone-deep ache raced through him. It was like poison, reaching every inch of his body, turning his blood to ice, constricting his chest.

_ Luke was dead. _

Luke.

One of his earliest friends.

One of his  _ best  _ friends.

They met as kids and stayed by each other’s sides from then on. Luke had been right there with him through so much; through the long days as a Youngling and the hard missions as a Padawan; through all the successes of battles; through all the days where the galaxy filled with a never ending war felt too much; through the days they wished they knew their parents; through the times they stayed up late dancing to music broadcasting over HoloNet; and through all the moments in between.

_ Luke had been with him through it all. _

Sure, he hadn’t always been there in  _ person  _ — they were Commanders of the Grand Army of the Republic and had responsibilities — but Alex always knew Luke would be there.

_ And now—  _

_ —he wasn’t. _

He was just  _ gone. _

How could someone just  _ be here  _ one minute and gone the next? How could someone who was so bright just  _ disappear,  _ as if they hadn’t ever been there at all?

It felt too simple to be real.

Maybe the galaxy had given Alex a path to the salvation of the Jedi Order, but it also forced him to come face to face with this gut-wrenching reality.

_ The reality that Luke was dead.  _

“Are you okay?” The mechanic crouched to the ground a few feet away from them. Her gaze bounced between Willie and Alex. When neither of them answered, so repeated herself. “Hey,  _ flyboys, _ are you okay?”

Alex still couldn’t breathe. His thoughts swirled, and swirled, and—

“We’re fine,” Willie assured her. He pulled his hand away from his forehead and winced.

“Riiiiiight,” she said, “and I’m the Queen of Naboo. Come on, let’s get you off the ground before something runs you over.”

Together, Alex and Willie stood. Alex could feel his gaze on him, studying his expression. Willie hovered at his side, looking as concerned as ever. His touch ghosted on his arm and Alex was sure it was as comforting to Willie as it was to him. He leaned into it.

_ After a Force vision like that, he wanted to be as close to him as possible.  _

“I’m fine,” he told Willie softly. Alex forced a smile to his face and hoped it would fool Willie.

Really, he should've been worrying about the mechanic. 

“You went down pretty hard,” she commented. 

Flynn. Her name was Flynn.

“I just got dizzy for a second,” Alex lied. He turned his gaze back to Willie and dropped his voice to a whisper. “We need to get to Calliope.”

“Really? You’re bringing that up right now?” Willie dropped his voice to match Alex’s. “Dude, you  _ scared  _ me.”

“I’m fine. Listen, Calliope is where we’re supposed to meet that person. Like we planned.” His gaze darted to where Flynn stood. He let his eyes linger long enough to let her know she wasn’t welcome in this conversation. She got the hint and took a few steps backwards. As soon as she was out of earshot, he continued. “The person I told you about. The one we’re trying to find. I know her.”

“You know her?”

“You know what Harrison was to me?” Willie nodded. “That’s what this woman was to my friend. I know her because of him, and I know her last location because of him.” Alex’s stomach dropped. He felt horribly hollow at the mention of Luke.  _ Luke, Luke, Luke—  _ “He was on Calliope with her. We have to go.”

Willie looked hesitant. More than that; he looked as though he was trying to let Alex down lightly. He couldn’t even look him in the eye. He was looking towards the hangar, his lips pressed tightly together and his eyebrows furrowed. His throat bobbed as he swallowed.

_ Alex was desperate though.  _

He latched onto Willie’s side. Their gazes were drawn together again.

“Willie,” he breathed. “Trust me.” Even lower, spoken so quietly that his lips barely moved, “trust in the Force.”

The corner of his lip quirked up. “Well, I don’t know about  _ that.  _ But I trust you, hotdog. Of course I do.” He looked at Alex as if he was sprouting a second head. “What? You thought I was going to say no?”

“No, I just—” 

He did. 

He did think Willie was going to say no or, at the very least, argue.

He shrugged. “If you’re sure, that’s good enough for me.”

Willie’s confidence in him made Alex waver. 

“Okay, wait. I’m not  _ sure  _ sure. I’m, like,  _ fairly  _ sure, but technically she could’ve moved to a different planet by now, or—”

“Trust in the magic.” Willie winked. “Or… whatever you said.”

“I thought you said you weren’t sure about trusting the, uh… magic?” Alex pulled a face immediately after he said it. He hated that it was a nickname for the Force that they both understood.

“I don’t,” Willie said. “I trust you. Same difference.” He clapped his hands together and turned towards the hangar. “Alright.  _ Phantom,  _ we’re home! Let’s get this show on the road and—”

“Woah, slow down.” Flynn snorted and rushed to their sides. “You think you’re taking your ship? You think you’re— oh, you’re funny. I already began to work on it. The systems are down. Wires are disconnected. She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Alex crossed his arms. “Well, we’re not waiting a week. We need to get to Calliope.”

_ Because a week— _

The whole galaxy could change in a week.

They’d all seen how true that was all too recently. 

“What? You want me to wave magic wand? Throw a little pixie dust? I gotta admit, that would be pretty cool, but let’s bring it back down to reality. I could reassemble what I already took out, but you won’t have a hyperdrive. And you’re going where? Calliope? You’re going to need one if you’re going to get there before the end of the week.” She glanced at the  _ Phantom  _ in the distance. Her nose wrinkled. “That thing is a pile of junk by the way. A classic, don’t get me wrong — vintage is very in right now — but she wouldn’t make it there and back in her shape.”

“Hey,” Willie complained. “She’s perfect the way she is. She still runs!”

“Wow. A miracle.” Flynn’s lips pressed tightly together. She hesitated. “I should warn you two… Calliope isn’t the safest place right now. It hasn’t been for a  _ really  _ long time.”

Alex cleared his throat and tried to appear nonchalant. “Oh? It is?”

“Calliope doesn’t have any luck. First, it was the Separatists. Now, it’s the Empire.” She didn’t look impressed. Frustration rolled off her in waves. “It’s currently overrun with Imperials. Do you know how much money we’ve lost out on because of that? Nobody wants to come in this sector because of the heavy Imperial presence.”

_ If Brades had been impassive about the Empire, Flynn was the exact opposite. _

Then, as soon as the frustration was there, it was gone. She forced a pleasant smile on her face and continued. “You’re not hoping to avoid the Empire, are you? If so,  _ don’t  _ go to Calliope.”

“No. We have no reason to avoid the Empire,” Alex said.

_ Except, that was a lie. _

“Yeah,” Willie agreed. He gave her a toothy grin and slung an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “We’re  _ completely  _ innocent. The Empire would fall asleep reading our files —  _ if we had any.  _ We don’t though. We don’t have files. Because we’re boring.” He cleared his throat and playfully jostled Alex’s shoulder. “Did you know Alex once saved a Loth-cat from a tree? He’s  _ that  _ good of a person. We were in a rush, and he saw this tiny thing stuck in the branches, and he  _ climbed  _ the tree to get her down.”

That was also a lie.

Flynn looked very confused. She simply nodded and smiled. “Uh… okay. That’s nice. Glad to hear I’m in the presence of some local heroes.”

“Oh, yeah. Alex is a  _ big  _ hero.” Willie’s mouth snapped shut when Alex’s elbow dug into his ribs. “I’m just telling her the truth. No need to be so modest. You’re a  _ very  _ good person. Which is  _ why  _ we’re headed to Calliope.”

Alex’s gaze darted to Willie, wide and frantic.

_ What? _

What was he talking about?

His mind raced, trying to piece together the plan.

“Uh, right…” Alex agreed slowly.

If Alex didn’t know Willie so well, he would’ve missed the slight clench of his jaw or the quick flash of his eyebrows. He leaned forward, his eyes bright and genuine.

Alex did know Willie though, and he knew this expression.

_ Showtime. _

“We’re headed to Calliope to rescue a Muse-cat. Alex is a  _ very  _ big cat person, and we got a call earlier that one’s up for adoption on Calliope.”

Huh?

Willie’s gaze turned to him. His eyes widened the slightest bit.

_ Say something!  _ His eyes seemed to say.  _ Play along! _

“Right, yeah. Muse-cat.” Alex nodded his head in agreement. He racked his brain for something to say —  _ anything!  _ “We, uh,  _ really  _ need to get to that planet. To pick up our cat. It’s an emergency.”

“Oo, yes. An emergency. A big one.” Willie smiled easily. He turned his attention back to Flynn, who looked as lost as Alex felt. “If we don’t get to Calliope soon, we’re going to lose her. Adoption for a Muse-cat is  _ very  _ competitive. Did you know that Muse-cats can grow to be the size of your forearm?  _ And  _ their fur comes in a range of shades. Rumor has it that Calliope was named after the Muse-cats because, uh… because of the fur. Very colourful. Like art.”

Why the hell did Willie know so much about Muse-cats?

He continued to talk about  _ cats,  _ his hands waving in front of him excitedly. If Alex wasn’t so confused, his enamoured expression would’ve been a sight to see. His passion in that moment nearly convinced  _ Alex _ that Willie had been waiting his whole life for the opportunity to adopt a Muse-cat, except—

Willie didn’t like cats.

And they most definitely weren’t going to Calliope to adopt a Muse-cat.

Alex studied Flynn. She looked like she wanted to  _ bolt.  _ He would’ve wanted to run if he were in her position too. They must’ve been a sight to anyone on the outside of their little bubble. There they were, two pilots in poorly sewn jumpsuits, sporting bruises across their foreheads, with wet backs from where they had been laying on the ground, spewing nonsense about  _ freaking cats. _

Force.

Willie turned to him as soon as there was a lull in conversation. His jaw tightened.

Right!

Right — his turn!

“Cats, y’know?” Alex laughed breathlessly. “We just… we really like cats.”

“I can tell.” Flynn glanced towards the hanger, her expression hard to read. Alex could sense her trepidation through the Force. When she turned back to them, she let out a long sigh. “Alright. You’re desperate to get to Calliope? For your, uh… your cat?”

“We’re going to name them Meilo. Short for Meiloorun. That’s a fruit that grows on—”

“I know what meiloorun fruit is,” Flynn assured them. She let out a groan. “Okay, fine. Your weird cat stories wore me down. What can I say, it’s hard to say no when someone talks to you for five minutes straight about a cat named Meilo.” She deflated, as if this was not a battle easily won. “I can see if I can talk to my supervisor.”

Alex lifted an eyebrow. “About…?”

“We have a craft available for the next few days. It’s small. It’s fast. It’s maneuverable. It’ll get you to Calliope and back before we need it back here. I think.” She glanced back at the  _ Phantom.  _ “I’m assuming you’re a good pilot if you’ve been flying that thing around without many issues?”

_ “Hey.  _ She has a name.”

Alex elbowed Willie. “Not the time, man.”

Flynn continued. “If you’re  _ this _ desperate to get your Muse-cat, I’ll… I’ll pull a few strings for you two. But  _ only if  _ you promise never to tell me about cats again. Like, c’mon...”

Alex lunged at the opportunity. “Yes. Of course.  _ Thank you.  _ No more cat stories, I promise.”

“See?” Flynn said cockily, turning to Willie. “It looks like you’re going to be needing the full week after all. By the time you’re back, your ship will almost be ready to go. I’ll treat the  _ Phantom  _ good, don’t worry.”

As Willie and Flynn continued to trade comments about the ship, Alex turned to the ocean at his side. He sucked in a steadying breath.

_ This was it. _

It was all finally piecing together. A destination was set. A ship was booked. A Jedi Master was just out of reach. The rebuilding of the Jedi Order was imminent. 

For the first time, the completion of his Master’s final mission felt possible.

The water of the Bestine ocean crashed against the spaceport. A fine mist was launched into the air, ghosting over Alex, leaving him breathless and chilled.

_ Soon enough,  _ they’d be standing on the coast of Calliope.

Soon enough, they’d be watching the Calliope ocean, just as Alex had seen in so many of his visions.

That feeling in his chest — it wasn’t just  _ hope.  _ It was belief.

* * *

“So,” Alex began, “how did you know so much about cats?” Willie choked on his laugh. “I’m serious. You were  _ intense  _ back there.”

Willie didn’t have to reach far to bump his shoulder in jest. The cockpit of Flynn’s ship was  _ tiny  _ compared to the cockpit of the  _ Phantom.  _ The pilot’s seat and co-pilot’s seat were practically fused. Their elbows kept knocking together. Alex could hear each of Willie’s steady breaths.

Only a few hours in and Alex already missed the  _ Phantom. _

“We needed a reason to get to Calliope,” Willie said simply. “All I know about Calliope is their Muse-cats. You know, I ran a job with someone who used to own, like, thirty different cats from around the galaxy. Muse-cats, Loth-cats…”

“Huh.”

“I guess I just picked up facts from them.” Willie blew out a long breath and studied the controls in front of him. “Okay, I think I’ve figured everything out. We’re set to arrive tomorrow.” He patted the dash affectionately. “I missed hyperspeed.”

Alex had to admit, he missed hyperspeed too. A journey that would’ve taken them weeks was now going to take them mere  _ hours.  _ If the  _ Phantom’s  _ hyperdrive wasn’t damaged, it would’ve taken them a fraction of the eight weeks for them to travel from Coruscant to Bestine. He could’ve been  _ so much  _ further ahead on his mission. He might’ve found other Jedi by now — he would’ve been doing something to make the Jedi Masters proud.

Then again, that would’ve meant he never would’ve experienced the last eight weeks.

Eight weeks where time seemed to stand still.

Eight weeks where he had lived in an isolated bubble, separate from the rest of the galaxy.

Eight weeks where he got to know Willie.

Alex’s gaze was drawn to him.

_ Willie. _

His right leg was pulled to his chest as he studied the features of the ship. His lips moved minutely as he went over certain buttons and controls, seemingly recalling what each did. Every so often, he’d stop to tuck his hair behind his ear. Without fail, it would get dislodged and fall back to block his eyes.

Alex was distracted by him. The way his voice was laced with his breath, and the way his thumb brushed against his knee rhythmically, and the way his forehead creased — it was all so easy to get lost in.

Maybe the  _ Phantom  _ not having a hyperdrive wasn’t  _ all  _ a bad thing. Without those eight weeks spent with Willie, Alex wasn’t too sure where he’d be right now. He wasn’t too sure if he’d be beside this pilot — a pilot that he trusted completely — with the knowledge that they were going to stick together until the mission was complete and they were both firmly on their feet.

The breath was knocked out of Alex.

_ Until. _

They were going to stick together  _ until— _

Until, until, until.

It hadn’t hit him until that very moment; there would be an end.

Alex forced his gaze forward. He tried to keep his breaths even.

There would be a day where this —  _ them — their time together, learning about each other, living together _ — it would all come to an end.

With them off to find the Jedi Master from Alex’s visions, it was clearer now more than ever. 

That time was coming soon.

If Alex thought it was going to be hard to say goodbye on Corellia, then it felt impossible now.

For eight weeks, Willie had become the most stable part of his life. He’d been a pillar of strength after the most traumatic events Alex had ever experienced. He’d been a bright light when everything around him felt so  _ empty  _ — when the  _ Force itself  _ felt so empty.

All of that — all of the hours spent playing holochess, all of the stories shared over cups of tea and hot chocolate, all of the nights they fell asleep listening to each other speak, all of the hugs — it would all come to an end.

_ Alex didn’t want that. _

He knew his feelings were irrelevant. He knew it didn’t matter. He knew he shouldn’t pay any mind to them, especially when they were in direct contradiction to his mission, yet—

Alex was going to miss Willie.

_ He was going to miss him a lot. _

A bone-deep ache burst across him, as powerful as a supernova in deep space. His whole body felt as though it had been caught in the midst of the explosion, leaving a slow burning fire raging through his veins. This pain —  _ not just pain  _ — this agony, he could feel it seep through him. Alex sucked in a sharp breath and curled his hands into fists, willing the pain to  _ go away.  _

Why did it already feel like he lost him? The ache residing in his chest reminded him of permanent goodbyes, and yet—

_ Willie was right here. _

Alex glanced at him. 

_ Him.  _

Willie. 

His warmth, both in body and soul, was a permanent reminder that he was  _ here. _

Or…  _ not permanent,  _ as Alex had just realized.

It didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter, didn’t matter, didn’t—

Willie looked back.

His eyes softened. His smile lines deepened.

As if Willie could sense the heaviness that was crushing Alex’s chest, he spoke. “We’re all set,” he said, gesturing towards the controls spread in front of them. “I didn’t see a Dejarik console on-board, but I  _ did  _ remember to grab some hot chocolate from the  _ Phantom  _ before we left. Want a celebratory cup?”

“Celebratory?” Alex asked, hoping his voice didn’t wobble as much as he thought he did.

If Willie picked up on it, he didn’t say anything. “Yeah, y’know. Celebrations. Good times. We’re in a ship with a  _ hyperdrive,  _ the  _ Phantom  _ is getting repaired as we speak, you figured out what planet your teacher is on… Those are things worth celebrating.” Willie laughed. “Besides, you aren’t one to look for reasons to have hot chocolate. You’d willingly spend an hour outside on Hoth if it meant you’d get a litre of it to yourself.”

Willie stood. His arm barely made contact when he brushed against Alex, but it was just enough to comfort him. It was a tether — an anchor — in a swirling sea of  _ so many emotions. _

Alex swallowed thickly.

Willie was right.  _ This was something to be happy about.  _ This ache that came with the realization that the end —  _ their end  _ — was coming soon; it could wait.

* * *

The ship was small. The cockpit led directly into a room that was half the size of the living quarters on the  _ Phantom.  _ At the tail of the ship was a long ramp, just wide enough for a single person to walk at a time. Along the wall where the  _ Phantom’s  _ kitchenette sat was the entrance to the bunks.

Or, more accurately, the  _ bunk. _

Alex and Willie stood shoulder to shoulder in the doorway, both peering in at the single bed.

_ The single. freaking. bed. _

Why did Alex feel like he’d just swallowed a can of bees? Why was his stomach so  _ light  _ and his chest so heavy? Why were his palms suddenly so clammy and his face so hot?

The laugh that bubbled out of Alex’s mouth was breathless and entirely out of his control. He covered it up by coughing and shuffling his feet.

“Well,” Alex said, his voice wavering. “That’s unexpected.”

They both fell silent again.

Alex’s heart was beating too loud. It was all he could hear. It was probably all Willie could hear too.

Say something.

Say anything.

_ Say something to diffuse the tension!!!!! _

He cleared his throat. “I guess we played the boyfriends role too well in front of Flynn, huh?”

_ WHAT? _

_ They weren’t even pretending to be boyfriends in front of Flynn. _

Shit, shit, shit—

Willie grinned. His eyebrows flashed upwards and he nudged him with his elbow teasingly. “I guess we just look like a couple.” 

“Yeah, a couple of  _ besties.” _

_ No. _

_ No, no, no— _

Alex wanted to lay down for a while. He deserved that, didn’t he? He deserved to lay down and think about his actions because  _ holy shit  _ why was he so awkward?

Willie grinned at him. “You’re funny.” He took a few steps further into the room, surveying the bed. “Flynn did say this was the only ship available, so I’m sure it has nothing to do with us.”

He didn’t know it was possible, but suddenly Alex wanted to fade away even more.

_ This was painful. _

“Oh. Totally. Mhmm. You’re right.”

_ Of course it had nothing to do with them pretending to date. Of course not!!! Why did he even bring it up? _

Willie leaned over the foot of the bed and glanced at the space on the opposite side of the room. He didn’t look impressed. “That’s not going to work.”

“Huh? What?”

“It’s too small.” Willie pointed to the space between the bed and the wall. “I thought one of us could just sleep on the floor, but—”

“Oh. No. I mean, yeah. Yeah. No.” Alex was seconds away from screaming. Why were the words not working?! “I can just sleep on the couch.”

There was a pause.

Willie hid his expression well. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m used to sleeping on tiny beds.” Alex took a half-step backwards, leaning back into the living quarters. He needed to  _ run  _ before he said something even more awkward than before. “The beds in the barracks were pretty small. It’ll be just like home.”

Willie opened his mouth to say something else, but Alex was already leaving the room.

He forced his heart to settle. He wiped his palms along the sides of his pants.

What was  _ wrong  _ with him? Why was his face on fire? Why did he keep screwing up his words around Willie?

As soon as he was out of earshot, his head fell to his hands and he let out a groan.

_ He needed to get it together. _

* * *

The couch was most definitely not just like home.

Alex lost track of how many times he had turned around that night. His neck was bent at an odd angle. His arm kept falling asleep. His feet hung off the edge of the couch.

_ Force,  _ why was this couch so tiny?

He blew out a long breath and glanced at the chrono.

It was already nearly morning.

Alex turned again.

_ Why was this ship so hot?  _ It was stifling. His nightshirt clung to him. His blanket had been long abandoned on the ground. His skin kept sticking to the upholstery beneath him every time he shifted.

He couldn’t fall asleep.

The word  _ home  _ echoed around his mind.

It was what he had said to Willie when they were making sleeping arrangements. He had said ‘home.’

_ But what home was he talking about? _

Was the Jedi Temple on Coruscant really his home?

Once upon a time, it might’ve been. 

He knew the Temple as well as he knew his lightsaber, just as he knew it as well as the back of his hand. The grand halls, the towering ceilings, the hundreds of life forces spread throughout. The peacefulness of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, the buzz and warmth of the refectories, the familiarity of the classrooms. The  _ belonging _ he found in his room, the memories he made with his friends while learning how to be great Jedi Knights.

_ The Temple had been his home. _

Yet, that word felt like it didn’t belong.

Not anymore.

The Temple was gone along with the Jedi Order, and it left Alex wondering where his home was.

_ Did he even have one? _

It made him feel unsettled. He felt as though he had spiralled away from reality — as if he was floating through the galaxy.

No home.

He didn’t have a home anymore.

Alex turned around on the couch again. His frustration  _ may or may not have  _ been taken out on his pillow when he flipped it aggressively.

“Come on,” he whispered into the dark. “Just…  _ sleep.” _

“I was going to say the same thing to you.”

Alex nearly jumped out of his skin.

He bolted up on the couch, his heart hammering in his chest, and turned to the source of the voice. Willie stood in the doorway to the bunks, a pillow under his arm and a blanket bundled in his grasp. He looked as wrecked as Alex felt, with his hair tangled and his face creased with marks from his pillow.

“Willie. Hi. Hey.”

“Hi.” He trudged into the room, his feet dragging on the floor. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Alex could tell. He looked exhausted. He kept blinking. His whole body looked as though it was weighed down by a gravity well.

“Neither could I.”

Willie fell to the couch beside Alex, sitting close enough that their sides pressed together. Without waiting another moment, his head lulled to Alex’s shoulder and his eyes slid shut.

Alex’s head rolled back to rest on the couch behind him. He let out a breathless laugh and leaned into Willie’s side.

“I thought you were sleeping,” he commented. “I was trying to be quiet for you.”

“Mm. Ditto, dude.” Willie’s voice was muffled against his shoulder. “‘M tired.”

Alex’s eyes drooped closed. Something settled inside him.

“You should sleep then,” he whispered. “Why are you awake anyway?”

Willie was silent for a long moment. Alex was almost convinced he had fallen asleep right on his shoulder, but—

“I guess I missed our story time,” he mumbled. A beat, then, “why are you awake?”

“It’s too hot on this ship.” Alex chuckled. “I guess I got used to the freezing temperature of the  _ Phantom.” _

Before he finished speaking, Willie was already pulling back.

“Sorry.” He leaned away, putting several inches of space between himself and Alex. “I’m probably not helping if you’re already warm, so I’ll just—”

Alex closed the space between them. His arm wrapped around his shoulders. They both fell back against each other easily, neither one of them truly wanting to be apart.

“No,” he breathed. “It’s not you. You’re… you’re good.”

He felt Willie relax under his touch. His nose pressed against his bare arm. Alex stared down at him, unable to look away.  _ He was magnetic. _ It was something he’d grown used to being in Willie’s presence; his gaze was always drawn to  _ him. _

He was beautiful. It was something he noticed the first day they met, but he hadn’t realized  _ just  _ how beautiful he was. Alex wasn’t sure when that changed; when he realized that Willie was the most gorgeous beings that he’d ever laid eyes on. 

The realization must’ve been gradual; like a river eroding the shore, pebble by pebble; or like the sun pouring life into the trees, ounce by ounce; or like the sunrise on the horizon, breathing life into the world bit by bit. It was so gradual that he never really noticed how much it had changed until he took a step back and  _ looked. _

Alex looked at Willie under the cover of darkness, in the peace of night, and he  _ melted.  _ His chest ached with a fondness that was reserved for Willie —  _ only for Willie  _ — and—

“You’re staring.”

Alex’s gaze darted away. His cheeks flushed. Warmth blossomed across his body.

“No. I wasn’t.”

_ It was a lie. _

He was never very good at lying to Willie.

“I could feel your eyes on me,” Willie mumbled. His hand came up and poked him in the cheek. It was half a miracle that his finger didn’t end up in Alex’s eye considering the fact  _ he wasn’t even looking.  _ “I can tell.”

“I was looking at your blanket,” Alex argued. It was an entirely valid excuse. It was the truth, too. He wasn’t looking  _ at  _ Willie; he was just looking in his general direction. He cleared his throat and continued. “Why do you have it anyway?”

“Cause I’m trying to sleep, hotdog.”

“You have the bed though.”

“Mm. But I don't have  _ you.” _

Alex’s cheeks were burning. There were many  _ emotions  _ rising up in him.  _ So many that he didn’t know what to do with,  _ so many that he was afraid of.

He did what he did best.

_ He ran. _

It was something he was doing more often now that he was only steps away from returning to his old life; now that their bubble together was so close to bursting.

“What?” Alex joked, speaking too loud for the time of night. He lowered his voice. His head dipped towards Willie’s. “You were going to just come sleep on the floor?”

Willie nuzzled into his side. “Mhmm. Floor’s good.”

His head tipped back. He stared at the ceiling, latching onto the light dancing across the metal. “Sleeping on the floor isn’t good.”

“Mm. You’re right. This is better.”

Alex was acutely aware of each breath Willie took, his puffs of air brushing across his bicep with each exhale. He was aware of the way his fingers wound around his forearm, as if he was a plush toy a child clung to at night. And he was  _ oh so very aware  _ of the way his heart pounded against his ribs.

“We should’ve just both shared the bed,” Willie said after a moment.

“You would’ve hogged all the blankets.”

“Mm. No. I’m  _ very  _ good at sharing blankets actually. You should know.” He stifled his yawn against Alex’s arm. 

Alex blinked hard. It was getting more and more difficult to keep his eyes open. Just  _ seeing  _ Willie already half-asleep made him grow tired.

“Yeah,” Alex whispered. “We should’ve just shared the bed.”

They both fell into silence.

_ It was nice. _

Alex’s eyes drifted closed. There was something about being beside Willie that was so  _ calming.  _ He was no longer thinking of home, and missions, and Temples. He was barely thinking at all, he was so blissful. He could feel sleep tugging at his mind, weighing down his eyelids.

“Is it okay if I stay here?” Willie asked, his lips barely moving. “Just… Just for a bit?”

_ Just for a bit. _

How could he tell Willie he wanted him to stay here longer than that?

_ That he wanted to stay with him longer than that? _

Alex hand lanced with Willie’s, just as it did that first night they fell asleep talking to each other. Alex was too far gone to find the energy to pull his eyes back open or form any audible words.

He hoped Willie understood the simple gesture.

_ Stay. _

_ Stay with me. _

* * *

Alex woke up slowly. 

The automated lights must’ve turned on recently to signal morning, because they were shining right into Alex’s eyes. He couldn’t believe just how  _ hot  _ and  _ cramped  _ he was on the couch. His neck was bent at an odd angle. A sharp elbow dug into his ribs. His hand was trapped under something warm and broad, almost feeling like a pair of shoulders. It couldn’t be though because he couldn’t feel his fingers against his arm when he wiggled them, and—

“Lex,  _ stop.” _

Alex jolted awake.

He didn’t move an inch. His breath caught in his chest. His heart was lodged in his stomach.

_ He had forgotten the previous night. _

Alex completely forgot the brief conversation he had with Willie only hours ago. He completely forgot how they both leaned on each other, too exhausted to stay upright on their own, and drifted to sleep. He hadn’t  _ meant  _ to fall asleep right beside him, yet—

There they were; both somehow on the couch, their limbs tangled together.

Sometime during the night, they’d fallen to the side. Alex’s head was against Willie’s bicep and his hand trapped underneath him. Alex was curled tightly around himself with his feet tucked under his body. Willie, on the other hand, was sprawled partially off the couch. Both of his feet were firmly planted on the ground, keeping him from toppling over completely.

Alex blinked.

_ Oh. _

Without opening his eyes, Willie reached and tugged the lone pillow over his face, blocking out the light. Alex couldn’t stop the amused laugh from bubbling out of him.

“You’re laughing at me,” Willie complained, his voice rough with sleep. “I’m trying to sleep and you’re laughing at me.”

“If you’re talking, that’s a pretty good sign that you’re not getting back to bed,” Alex pointed out.

“Maybe you’re not as dedicated as I am to sleep,” he mumbled. Alex wiggled his fingers under his side again.  _ “Alex.  _ You’re a menace.”

“I just— I’m trying to get my hand back, thank you very much.”

Alex wiggled his hand again in an attempt to free it. This time, Willie retaliated with a foot to his side. 

Alex squawked. “Not fair!” 

He adjusted his grip and poked him in the side. Willie jolted and let out a laugh. He ripped the pillow away and glared. There was no heat behind the glare. In fact, Willie was fighting a smile; Alex could tell from the way the corners of his lips kept twitching.

“ _ Alex,”  _ he hissed mockingly. “You did not just  _ tickle me,  _ did you?!”

Alex laughed. “I’m pretty sure I did. Rise and shine, Captain William, we have a ship to fly.”

“You’re a pest,” Willie teased. “Here you are, waking me up at the ripe time of…  _ oh.  _ It’s almost lunch.” He sat up slowly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I was more tired than I realized.”

Alex's thoughts already skipped over the good mornings and was focused on something else entirely. Calling Willie by his full name, even though it was just a joke, reminded him—

“Hey, uh, Willie?” Alex’s sombre tone instantly sucked the playfulness out from the room. Willie turned solemn. “You know… When we find Master Palabee, she will call me Alexander. And any other Jedi we find after that will call me Alexander.”

Willie nodded. “Right. Okay. Alexander.” Hearing him say his full name was strange. It was a sound he hadn’t gotten used to yet. 

What was even stranger was the fact that  _ it was his name.  _ It was what he was always called at the Jedi Temple by  _ everyone.  _ He was Alexander to his fellow Padawans, the Jedi Masters, and to himself even.

And yet…

He didn’t  _ feel  _ like Alexander.

Not anymore.

He didn’t  _ feel  _ like the same person as he had been back at the Jedi Temple. Too much had happened. Too much had changed.

“You can still call me Alex,” he assured him. “Or Alexander. Or… or Lex.” The corners of his lips quirked up in a smile. “I like that nickname too.”

“Ah, yeah. Lex. Brades definitely bought the nickname.” Alex was thankful he didn’t bring up the two nicknames he gave to him back at the Rimma spaceport; ‘honey’ and ‘my love.’ Living through that awkward conversation once was enough for him. “Thanks for the heads up.”

“They… They might even call me by my first name,” he continued after a brief moment of hesitation. “I just… I want to tell you what it is before you hear it from someone else.”

_ He wanted to be the one to tell Willie this. _

_ He trusted him enough to tell him, and he wanted to make sure Willie knew that. _

_ He wanted Willie to know. _

“Alexander Mercer. That’s my name. My  _ full  _ name.”

Willie’s expression was soft.  _ Tender,  _ even.

“Alexander Mercer,” Willie repeated back. Alex watched his lips, absorbed in the way they moved to form his name. “It’s a nice name.”

Alex met Willie’s gaze again. “So is William.”

There was a brief pause where they just  _ looked  _ at each other. Finally, Willie broke the tension with a breathless laugh.

“We’ve come a long way from hotdog and pilot.”

“We have.”

And then, the tender moment was over. Alex glanced at the chrono again and pulled away from Willie abruptly. “Alright,” he said, his voice raw. “Let’s get some lunch and check the navs. We should be only a few hours out.”

_ They were going to arrive on Calliope today. _

_ They were only a few hours away from finding a Jedi Master. _

_ Only a few hours until his mission could truly begin. _

Alex couldn’t help but smile. 

Today was going to be a good day.

* * *

Alex fell into the co-pilot seat beside Willie. They were set to arrive on Calliope in an hour. Alex felt nervous for what was to come already. Meanwhile, Willie seemed completely relaxed.

“I don’t know how you’re so calm,” Alex commented. 

Even sitting, he couldn’t keep still. He nervously tapped a beat onto the hilt of his lightsaber. He hadn’t been able to put his lightsaber down all day because  _ this was happening. This was real and he needed to be ready. _

Even though he was still sitting with Willie on the ship, he couldn’t shake the feeling of needing to be ready. Change was coming — a big one — and that knowledge put him on edge.

“We’ll be fine,” Willie promised him. “We’ve survived so far, haven't we?”

“You’re asking to be proven wrong,” Alex mumbled. “Let’s not push our luck today. Or any day.” He blew out a long breath. His fingers tightened on his lightsaber. “We need a plan. We need to be ready for what’s coming.”

_ Ready for what was coming. _

Force,  _ he  _ didn’t even know what was coming and he was the one getting them into this mess.

“I’ve had four different visions on Calliope,” Alex began. His eyes slid closed as he recalled the memories. A chill ran down his spine. It felt as though he was reaching through space itself into a different lifetime. “The first one, I was on an ocean shore. The two moons were above me.”

Willie nodded. “That’s how you know the planet had two moons. What happened in it?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” He smiled bitterly. “That’s the thing about the Force visions; not everything I see is important. My second vision of Calliope —  _ that’s  _ the important one.” 

He told Willie about the vision on the platform in the rain. He told him about the yells from Julie and Reggie — telling someone to run, warning them of a trap. He told him about the red blade blocking them from escaping, and of the blue blade coming to rescue them.

“Question,” Willie said. “I’m new to the whole laser sword business. Red… red is bad, right? Like… how bad are we talking here?”

Alex tried to word it in a way that would be easy to understand. “Red blades are for Force-users that are in tune to the dark side.”

“And they’re different from Jedi?”

“Jedi use the light side of the Force; we are against the use of the dark side. The dark side… it’s driven by emotion. It’s dangerous and destructive. The light side of the Force, on the other hand, is all about maintaining balance and peace for every being in the galaxy.” Alex focused on the way the metal of his lightsaber hilt felt in his hands; smooth, and cool, and  _ grounding.  _ “It’s why the Code of the Jedi Order includes giving up emotional attachments. Attachments lead to acting on emotion, and acting on emotion leads to the dark side.” He met Willie’s gaze again. “So, yeah. Red is bad.”

“Red is bad,” he echoed. “And blue? Blue is good?”

“It’s a  _ major  _ oversimplification, but— yeah. Blue, green, magenta — we use the light side of the Force. Red blades use the dark side.”

Willie chuckled nervously. “So… the Sith. They’re not just scary stories our friends tell us? They’re real?”

“They’re real. I’ve never faced one, but some Jedi Masters — Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, Master Skywalker…” The words turned to ash in his mouth.  _ Master Skywalker had been one Jedi to face the Sith, but now…  _ Now, he very well  _ could  _ be with the Sith for all Alex knew. He swallowed thickly and forced his thoughts away. “Some Masters have faced the Sith before.” He altered the conversation, just to get away from the horrors of the Temple. “Not all darksiders are Sith though. This red blade on Calliope, for instance? They might not be Sith. They probably aren’t. That doesn’t make them any less dangerous though.”

Willie frowned. “That’s confusing.”

“Yeah… I guess it might be. Just— the terminology doesn’t matter, not right now. Red blades are dangerous.”

“Alright. Got it. Red is bad, blue is good.”

Alex was getting a headache from how simplified this was getting. There were millennia of histories he was glossing over, but—

_ Did it really matter?  _

Did it matter right now? Did it matter when Reggie and Julie were in danger? Did it matter when there was a Jedi Master out there?

“You said you had four visions on Calliope?” Willie prompted. “That’s only two.”

“The other two were about Reggie and Julie.” He told Willie about the scene on the platform; how the two royals were excited to reunite with each other, how they were meeting a Jedi Master at the spaceport. “I recognized her.  _ The Jedi Master.  _ Her name is Palabee. I knew her well. Or… well enough.” His fingers tightened on the metal. “One of my friends was her Padawan. She practically raised him.  _ Of course  _ I knew her.”

Willie was silent for a long moment. His hand on his shoulder was a show of silent support.

“Bobby or Luke?”

_ Alex nearly cracked. _

He swallowed thickly and looked out the front of the ship. He vigorously blinked the tears from his eyes as he took in the blur of the galaxy around them; all the blues and the whites.

The fact that Willie knew their names hit Alex in the chest.

_ He didn’t think he had ever talked about them before.  _ He hadn’t, had he? Not specifically anyway. Maybe he mentioned them in passing, but—

Still. Willie’s question yanked his heart from between his ribs. Those simple names made him feel as though he needed to gasp for air.

“Luke,” he said as soon as he could speak. “Palabee was Luke’s Master.” His eyes squeezed shut.  _ “Was,”  _ he laughed, even though it was the exact opposite of funny. “I’m already talking about him as if he… Well, he is…” He shook off the sorrow. “I… I saw Bobby fall at the Temple. I always knew he was dead.  _ But Luke.  _ I guess I had hope that he was out there, but… If Palabee is alive and he’s not with her — which is what I saw in my vision, by the way — then I already know the truth. Luke is as dead as Bobby.”

Willie’s grip tightened. He didn’t have to speak for Alex to understand.

_ He wasn’t alone. _

“I’m sorry,” Willie said, his voice raw. Alex’s gaze snapped to his and was startled to find tears in  _ his  _ eyes. “That’s  _ horrible,  _ Alex. I’m… I’m  _ so  _ sorry you lost them.”

It was  _ so hard  _ to talk about, but it was necessary to the mission.

He shook off Willie’s grip and released his emotions into the galaxy. He sought the feeling of peace inside of him.

(When he couldn’t find it, he settled on numbness.)

He continued to speak, desperate to remain devoid of emotion. “The last time I saw Luke was months ago. He was about to depart on a mission to Calliope with Master Palabee. He was worried because it was going to be the longest mission he would’ve been on.  _ Months  _ during the Clone Wars is a long time, but…” Alex wrinkled his nose. The words he had planned to say were just  _ rumours —  _ only gossip. They weren’t helpful to the mission. “It doesn’t matter. He was going to Calliope with his Master to provide relief to the planet. Last I heard, they were assigned to protect the royal family and help them with negotiations with the Separatists, but…  _ it was months ago.” _

There was a lull. Willie continued. “You mentioned a fourth vision?”

“I mean, it doesn’t really matter. I got another flash of them, very briefly. Julie and Reggie were on that same platform, wearing the same clothing as they did when they reunited, and they were on the ground —  _ terrified.”  _ Alex blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what  _ most  _ of it means. What I  _ do know  _ is that Master Palabee is on Calliope. I know the Force is connecting us. I know we will find her.”

It was what he had to believe.

He had to trust in the Force.

“Alright,” Willie agreed. “Let’s trust in your magic.”

This time, Alex didn’t argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Ryn and Star Wars Wiki for helping me with the Star Wars knowledge in this chapter!!!!!
> 
> Also, another Ryn shout out for being amazing and making some Flynn art for this fic!! FLYNN IN SPACE!! SPACE MECHANIC FLYNN! Ahh I'm so excited to see her. Thank you, Ryn! [You can see it on thesunwillart's Tumblr!!](https://thesunwillart.tumblr.com/post/640711597743013888/flynn-in-space-i-love-her-from-chapter-9)
> 
> Thank you to willex-n-waffles for the Alex art from chapter 8! THANK YOU! [You can see it on her Tumblr!!](https://willex-n-waffles.tumblr.com/post/640629444241932288/click-for-better-quality-can-i-uh-can-i-have)
> 
> This end note is filled with many thanks because ANOTHER special thank you to everyone on Tumblr for being overall very hilarious and hyping this fic up so much. There are so many memes for this fic!! I've reblogged all the ones I've been tagged in [here!!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/tagged/all+that+remains+memes)
> 
> That being said, if you ever create art, memes, or post about my fic on social media, feel free to tag me in it. I love seeing it all. It truly makes my day!!
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)


	11. CHAPTER XI: CALLIOPE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long (around 11.5k words)! There are several line breaks through the chapter, so please feel free to use those to take breaks as you read.
> 
> PS- happy one month of space boys!! I can't believe it's already been a month since I posted the first chapter!
> 
> Enjoy!

“See?” Willie asked, his voice weak. He flicked off the comms and gripped the joystick of the ship to hide the shake of his fingers. “Easy.”

“You did good,” Alex assured him. He had managed to clear the craft for landing, telling the Imperial air control the same story they told Flynn about the Muse-cat. It seemed everyone had a soft spot for animals. “One step closer.”

It was the first time they had come into contact with the Empire after Corellia and it left both of them shaken. The destruction they witnessed on that planet was fresh in both of their memories despite it being weeks ago.

Alex gripped the holster strap across his chest a little tighter. This was an Imperial occupied planet and they were just voluntarily walking into it. They were voluntarily flying to a planet filled with people who wanted him dead.

It was terrifying.

_ But it was necessary. _

Alex was on the edge of his seat as they made their approach. Seeing Calliope for the first time with his own eyes didn’t feel  _ real.  _ He had seen it so many times through the eyes of others. A strong sense of déjà vu hit him as the landscape turned clear, despite never having set a foot on this planet before.

_ Calliope was beautiful. _

It was a fact he hadn’t paid attention to in his visions. He was more worried about the screaming royals and the hissing red blade than he was about the mountain range, or the cliffs jutting out above a blue ocean, or the vast foliage.

Now that he was here and seeing it with his own eyes, it was impossible to see anything else.

“Wow,” Willie breathed. His eyes darted between the controls in front of him and the view out the window. “It’s pretty.”

“It is.”

Alex reached out with the Force, trying to sense  _ anything.  _

_ Master Palabee. _

_ Julie. _

_ Reggie. _

He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Maybe something similar to the Force bond every Padawan shared with their Master; something that connected two people together. He was looking for that pull, hoping it would guide him, but—

Nothing.

Alex tried not to feel too disappointed. 

Willie piloted the ship into the main spaceport — the same one from Alex’s visions. Instead of landing on the platform he had seen so many times, they were directed to land in the hangar with the rest of the smaller ships.

The first thing Alex noticed was how many Imperial ships were around them. The hangar was  _ filled  _ with dozens of ships and even more people. It was bleak and soul-sucking, seeing so much grey around them. 

Even more startling was the Force itself.

“Something horrible happened here,” Alex said. He could feel it in his chest. Coldness was intertwined with the Force, seeping into him as if the galaxy itself was bleeding. It was an echo of the gouging pain and loss he had felt those days after the Jedi Temple fell. “I don’t like this.”

The ship touched down, this landing rougher than any previous one. Willie was distracted by the activity outside their ship.

“The Empire,” he mumbled, his lips barely moving. “Flynn wasn’t kidding when she said it was overrun with them.”

For a long moment, they both sat in the cockpit, completely unmoving. They watched the operations of the hangar. The dread in the pit of Alex’s stomach grew. He recognized the setup of the building; it was eerily similar to hangars he spent time in growing up.

“This is worse than I thought it was going to be,” Alex admitted. Seeing the Empire  _ this  _ strong on Calliope shook him to the core. 

“Hey, uh… Quick question,” Willie said slowly. “If the Empire has  _ fully  _ taken over Calliope, what do you think happened to the previous royal family?”

The fear in his veins fused him to the seat.

_ He was almost too afraid to think about it. _

“I don’t know,” he said. His throat tightened. Dots connected — ones he wished stayed isolated.  _ The coldness in his chest, the heavy Imperial presence, the vision of Julie and Reggie screaming on the platform.  _ “Nothing good.”

Willie looked sick. “You mean… The red blade?”

“I don’t know. I thought that was still to come, but maybe it happened in the past?” Alex rubbed his head. “Visions are confusing. I don’t really know what happened in the past and what is going to happen in the future.” They were both silent for a long moment. “No. No, they’re fine. They have to be. Master Palabee was assigned to protect the Calliope royals. She’s the type of person that would’ve went down fighting. The Force brought me here, and it wouldn’t have brought us here if she was already dead. All three of them are alive. They have to be.”

Alex knew he was reaching.

_ He knew. _

And yet… He couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t bring himself to face the harsh truths of reality. He couldn’t bring himself to accept the possibility that they could be too late; that Julie and Reggie were just guides that led to Master Palabee; that they could already be dead.

“Alright,” Alex said as he stood. “I’ll be back in a bit. You just—”

“Woah. Slow down there, hotdog.  _ You’ll be back?”  _ Willie stood to match him. Their noses were inches apart. Alex took a step back. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to look around, see if I can find anything. Maybe I’ll ask a few questions. Just wait here, it’ll be fine.”

“Dude, I’m coming with you.” 

“Uhm… no. You’re not. You’re staying on the ship.” 

Alex’s mind was already made up. This was  _ his  _ mission. The only reason Willie was on Calliope was because he dragged him there. He wasn’t going to put him in any more danger than he already was.

“Funny,” Willie breathed. “It’s almost like you believe that’s true. I’m coming.” 

“Willie—”

“You really think it would be better for either of us to get separated?” He lifted an eyebrow coolly. “I’ll be sitting here. All alone. Surrounded by the Empire. And you’ll be out there, probably surrounded by the Empire too. That’s better than us getting surrounded together?”

Alex hesitated.

_ When he put it like that... _

Willie could sense he was caving. He leaned forward. Alex could feel the warmth of his body radiating off him, he was standing so close. Neither of them broke eye contact. 

“I’m coming.”

Alex scowled. “Fine.”

Willie beamed. He gripped Alex’s shoulder in excitement. 

“Your plan sucks, by the way.”

“Uh, hold on.” Alex pulled back. His eyes narrowed. “First of all, rude. Also,  _ what do you mean?” _

Willie cocked his head. “Do you really think you’re going to find any info  _ here?  _ From a bunch of Imperials? You really think they’re not going to automatically stun you for asking about Jedi?” His expression softened. “Dude, we gotta think outside of the box on this one.”

He was right.

He couldn’t ask anyone in the hangar about Master Palabee. These were the people who wanted the Jedi dead. He couldn’t ask about Julie and Reggie either — that would be too suspicious and, depending on what happened on Calliope before they arrived, it might be disastrous to ask about the previous monarchs.

“Alright. Outside of the box.” Alex blew out a breath. “I got nothing.”

“And  _ that’s  _ why I’m coming along.” Willie led him towards the living quarters. “These people? They’re not going to give us straight answers —  _ at best.  _ At worst, they’ll kill us for even asking. Besides, do you really think they’d know anything? Most of these workers probably just got shipped in from who knows where once the Republic fell. They probably  _ barely  _ know the planet, never mind what’s happening on it.”

“Okay,” Alex said. He was following so far. “I agree. We need to ask someone else, but… I didn’t exactly see a whole crowd out there. We don’t have lots of options.”

“We aren’t going to just stick to the hangar, Alex. We’re going on an  _ adventure.  _ Let’s call it… Corellia, take two: less explosions, less broken faces, more fun, and more answers.”

“That’s a horrible name for an adventure,” Alex pointed out.

“But it gets the goals across well, so it’s staying.” Willie turned to face him. “Trust me, the people who know the planet best aren’t going to be some randoms from the Empire. They’re going to be the people living in the cities, or the elderly walking on the street, or… or children playing at the park. We find them — we find your answers.”

Alex had to admit, it was a solid plan. He was so used to following the structure of the Jedi Order or the Grand Army of the Republic, and his first instinct was to make that work here. 

Willie’s plan spoke to just how differently they viewed the galaxy.

“Okay,” he agreed. “We head to a city and ask some questions.” He moved to the small kitchenette on the ship, if it could even be called that. He grabbed two canteens and tossed one at Willie. “Stock up. We might be out there for a while.” 

“I know this is supposed to be serious — and it is, it is serious, but… It’s also kinda fun?” Willie stood beside Alex and began to fill his canteen with water. “It’ll be nice to be outside of a ship. The last time was Corellia and we know how successful that was.”

Truth be told, he was looking forward to their adventure too. It was daunting, being surrounded by the Empire — and it was overwhelming, having so many responsibilities on his shoulders — but what Willie said was true. It would be nice to be out on a planet for a few hours, surrounded by life forms.

He glanced at Willie out of the corner of his eye. If Alex was being truthful —  _ and he was  _ — then he had to admit, he was looking forward to being out on a world with Willie, too.

* * *

By the time they were ready to leave the ship, the sun was high in the sky and scorching. Alex had gotten used to the damp and cold atmospheres of the previous few planets they stopped on. He almost forgot what it felt like to feel  _ suffocated  _ by humidity and heat.

Alex and Willie tried to appear as casual as possible as they descended their rental ship and made their way towards the hangar doors. Alex could already see the ocean meeting the sky on the horizon. Distantly, the waves lapped at the base of the cliff the spaceport sat on, which was suspended at what must’ve been nearly two hundred feet above the beach below.

He couldn’t even begin to marvel at it though. All he could think about was how  _ strange  _ it felt to be here. Both of his feet —  _ his real feet  _ — were planted solidly on the same ground he’d dreamed about. It felt as though he was living inside of his dreams — or nightmares — and it made him feel seasick.

Alex brushed his knuckles against Willie’s, needing something to ground him to reality. 

Willie was  _ real.  _

He was  _ here.  _

Alex wasn’t dreaming; he wasn’t caught in another Force vision.

He was really here, and so was Willie.

As if Willie could sense Alex’s emotions, he inched closer to him. They walked so close to each other that their helmets under their arms clanged together with each step. Alex didn’t mind, not even when his fingers got pinched between the two shells — he was just happy to have him so close.

“There’s a lot of ships here,” Willie whispered. Alex scanned the hangar. “More than any spaceports we’ve been to recently.”

Alex made a sound of agreement. The hangar was organized meticulously and had managed to pack in many fleets of starfighters. This spaceport was once used for trading companies and commercial ships, yet now looked like a Republic base.

Or, really, an  _ Imperial  _ base.

Just as they were about to step outside the hangar, an Imperial Officer approached them. Alex saw the man coming from several feet away. Instantly, his free hand travelled to grip his holster strap. His body seemingly buzzed with adrenaline, ready to spring into action at any second.

“You’re the two…  _ Muse-cat  _ buyers?” the man said as soon as they were close enough.

Willie was the one to speak. “Adopters, actually.” Alex could sense his fear through the Force, but he hid it well. Willie’s grin was wide and chin lifted.  _ Confidence  _ radiated off him, as if every word he spoke was true. “We’re excited. Muse-cats are, like,  _ so cool,  _ dude. Did you know—”

“You’re the captain of your ship?”

Willie froze momentarily, clearly thrown by the tone of the officer.

“Yep. Yeah. That’s me.” He shifted his helmet to the other side of his body and stuck out his hand. “Captain William of… of, uh… Independent Starships.” Before the officer could begin to question what the hell Independent Starships was, he was speaking again. “You’re just the person we were hoping to run into! You look like you know this planet well. You look like you know what’s going on.”

“I do.”

“See?” Willie smiled at Alex. The adrenaline in Alex’s veins made it easy to ignore just how dazzling his smile was. “I was telling my, uh… co-pilot here that we should just ask one of you lovely people for advice. We were told that our Muse-cat — named Meilo, by the way — was located in the town closest to the main spaceport. In your professional opinion,  _ sir,  _ where would that be?”

As Willie and the Imperial continued to chat, Alex soaked in the details. There was a blaster on the man’s hip, only inches away from his fingers. It made him nervous, seeing how close it was to both of them — knowing that, if the tides turned, they wouldn’t have much time for a reaction.

Alex’s hand tightened on his holster.

His gaze moved to study Willie briefly. He was smart; by shifting his helmet to rest on his left side, it now freed up his right hand — the hand closest to his own holster containing a blaster.

At the tiniest shift from the Imperial, Alex’s gaze snapped to them. He noted the way their fingers moved. The way their chin tilted. The curl of their lip. The lift of their brows. Shifts in expression were something he was taught to look at, and it was something he was relying on heavily now. 

Often, expression gave away true intentions more than a being’s feelings.

That was especially true now; the chaos of the Force made it hard to detangle anything — including emotions. It was as if the planet was composed of a tangled ball of yarn instead of thin strings. The freezing echo seemed to pierce Alex’s body and soul, making the Force unreliable.

He couldn’t be sure that what he was sensing was true — that the man in front of them had good intentions, that he wasn’t suspicious, that they were safe.

_ So, he studied. _

The Imperial glanced at him, his upper lip pulling back the slightest bit. Alex glanced away, pretending as though he was fully intrigued with everything Willie was saying and not at all paying attention to the Imperial. 

The Imperial’s gaze lasted for a long moment. When it disappeared, Alex continued to watch him out of the corner of his eye.

A tilt of the head. A tenseness to the shoulders. An upward turn of the lips.

Finally, Alex was broken from his thoughts with Willie throwing an arm around his shoulder. He acted  _ so at ease. _

“Isn’t that great?” Willie asked. As if he knew he hadn’t been listening, he continued. “The town is only a few miles west of here! We missed the only transport for the day, but this officer is going to arrange a speeder for us.”

Finally, Alex looked away from the Imperial. 

He gave Willie a stiff smile.

“Yeah. Great.”

* * *

“I’m the pilot.”

“I’m a pilot too, Willie.”

“You’re  _ a  _ pilot, but I’m  _ the  _ pilot.” Willie crossed his arms and coolly lifted an eyebrow. “Plus,  _ you  _ weren’t paying attention when the Imperial guy gave us directions to the town.”

_ That was true. _

Alex didn’t know why he was arguing so hard. Between the two of them, Willie was the only one who knew where they were going.  _ And he was a very good pilot.  _ Plus, wasn’t it better if Alex’s concentration was free so he could focus on the Force?

_ So. _

_ Why was he being so stubborn? _

Alex’s gaze flicked to the speeder bike behind Willie.

_ Right. _

_ That’s why. _

Whoever wasn’t operating the speeder was going to have to sit on the back.

“I’m flying,” Willie insisted. Without waiting for Alex to say anything else, he climbed onto the front of the speeder. He glanced over his shoulder and grinned wildly. “Are you coming, hotdog, or do you want to walk?” 

“You’re hilarious,” Alex mumbled.

Willie patted the seat directly behind him. “Come on. You’re not going to fall off.”

He eyed the back of the speeder carefully. Willie was right; there was more than enough room for him.

_ That wasn’t the thing that made Alex’s heart beat a little faster.  _

It was the fact that they were going to be spending an unknown amount of time flying to the nearest city. 

_ They were going to be spending an unknown amount of time on the speeder. _

With how the bikes were built, that meant Alex was going to be spending an unknown amount of time with his arms wrapped around Willie’s waist.

It wasn’t a bad thing. 

In fact,  _ it was such a good thing  _ that it scared Alex how much it made him want to smile. It was unnerving, being this excited about physical contact.

Willie strapped his helmet on. It covered his expression, but Alex could still see the joy reflected in his eyes. He flicked down the visor and began to prepare for their journey.

Alex was being ridiculous. They had a mission to do —  _ an important mission.  _ He couldn’t let himself get distracted by happiness — or any other emotion, for that matter.

He blew out a long breath and shoved his helmet on. “Fine. You fly.”

“C’mon, Alex,” Willie said, his voice distorted by the helmet, “I’m  _ captain of a ship.  _ That has to count for something.” Just as Alex was about to climb on the back, he turned. They made eye contact. His voice softened. “You know I won’t let you fall, right?  _ Never.” _

Willie thought Alex was worried about falling off the back. 

Really, Willie was completely oblivious to just how complicated this all was.

_ How did he even begin to explain that he knew Willie would never let him fall? How could he begin to explain that he was shaken to the core by just how comfortable he was around him? How could he put all these emotions in his chest into words? _

He couldn’t.

So, instead—

“I know you’d never let me fall,” Alex said simply.

And that was good enough.

He climbed onto the back of the speeder. Willie continued to flick switches on the handlebars, starting the engine up, and Alex slid up behind him. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around his middle, bringing his chest flush against Willie’s back. Alex’s breath caught in his throat briefly from being so  _ close  _ to him. Willie, on the other hand, didn’t react at all.

Finally, the engine burst to life. Willie leaned back into him, his head turning the slightest bit to position his mouth closer to his face.

“Just don’t let go!” he called over the roar of the speeder.

“That’s reassuring!”

Willie laughed and patted Alex’s arms around his torso in what Alex assumed was a reassuring way. Then, he grabbed the controls, and they were off.

It was for the best that Alex was on the back of the speeder. As Willie flew them out of the spaceport, Alex couldn’t help but think back to his Force visions. The platforms that ran along either side of them were achingly familiar.

_ It was where Reggie and Julie reunited,  _ just to their left. 

_ It was where they stood in dark cloaks behind a red blade,  _ just behind them.

_ It was where he had seen the Jedi Master with the blue blade for the first time,  _ at the base of the platform they raced down — a platform that connected the spaceport to the dense forest in front of them.

The ground changed from the metal platforms of the spaceport into the uneven dirt of the forest. Trees whipped past them. Branches flew so quickly that they stung Alex’s arms and slapped against his helmet.

The further away from the spaceport they got, the more unsettled Alex became.

He glanced over his shoulder, catching one final glimpse of the buildings they were leaving behind.

Calliope was under Imperial rule now.

If it wasn’t clear by the scene in the hangar, then it was made exceptionally clear now.

The further away they got from the hangar and spaceport, the more of the surrounding buildings they could see. It was a familiar image to Alex; there was the spaceport on the edge of the cliffs, and there was the towering palace only a mile east, and there were the lush gardens in-between. He’d seen all of this from the inside of the ship as they landed, just as he’d seen pieces of it from his Force visions, but—

The flag covering the palace walls wasn’t one with the crest that Alex had seen in his visions. Now, the palace was covered in the symbol of the Republic.

No, not the Republic.

_ The Empire. _

He knew Willie wouldn’t be able to hear him over the rush of the air around them. Instead, he squeezed him and gestured to the shrinking building behind them. Willie managed a glance over his shoulder and, despite not being able to see his full expression, Alex could see the widening of his eyes, just as he could feel the tension spread through his shoulders.

They didn’t need to speak to understand what the other was thinking.

_ What the hell happened on Calliope? _

It wasn’t long before the ground began to slope beneath them.

Alex marvelled as Willie flew the speeder without issues. The terrain was rough and unpredictable, yet he did a good job at anticipating unearthed roots of trees and low hanging branches. It was something Alex would’ve needed to connect to the Force to do himself.

The same Force that still felt like a  _ living, breathing, suffering  _ being.

Alex could feel it all around him, buzzing with an energy that made him feel sick. The dark side was alive on Calliope — more specifically, the dark side was alive at Calliope’s spaceport. The further they got from where they landed, the easier it was to breathe.

The dark side. It was something Alex had felt many times before in his life; the most recent being at the Jedi Temple. It clung to Master Skywalker like a cloud, snuffing out every bright light he housed previously. The Jedi Temple had been filled with misery and hate.

_ Both of which he felt here on Calliope. _

The ground evened out below them and they burst through the forest. A beach stretched in front of them, with coarse sand and distant water. The air was cooler here than it was at the spaceport. Long shadows from the cliffs covered the entirety of the beach.

Instead of branches stinging their skin, it was sand. Alex hated sand after all the months he spent out on battlefields full of it, and he hated it even more now that it was flying up into his face. The visor on his helmet protected his eyes, but  _ his mouth— _

He pressed his nose against Willie’s shoulder to block the sand. 

It was the first time he really thought about  _ just how close they were.  _

Alex could feel every breath he took. The key Willie always wore around his neck was dug into Alex’s forearm from how tight he was holding onto him. Alex could feel his pulse racing only inches away from his nose.

They’d been close before.  _ Really close.  _ When they woke up earlier that morning, they had been tangled together on the couch. Their chests rose and fell together. Their faces had been mere inches from the other.

_ And yet— _

This felt different. 

It had been accidental that they fell asleep on the couch together. Them waking up pressed against each other could’ve been explained with the fact they were both asleep.

Being this close to him this time had been a choice — a choice made on both of their ends.

_ That carried a different weight. _

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been flying down the beach, but they must’ve been several miles out from the spaceport when Alex was hit with an overwhelming feeling.

Panicked, he tugged on Willie, signalling him to stop. The speeder slid through the sand as he abruptly braked. Before they had come to a complete stop, Alex was sliding off the back of the speeder.

“Hey! Alex—”

His feet sunk into the damp sand. He fumbled with his helmet before ripping it off. Now with clear vision, he looked at the scene in front of him.

Ocean stretched along his right side, bleeding into the horizon beautifully. The forest they exited only moments before was thick all the way from where they stood, up along the steep slopes of the cliff they had come down. And there, miles away from where Alex stood, was the spaceport hanging over the edge of the cliffs.

A chill ran up his spine.

“Alex! Hey! What’s going on?” Willie was slow to come to his side, having taken a few extra seconds to stop the speeder completely. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alex said. “Not really. I just… The Force.”

“The Force?” Willie echoed. He glanced nervously over his shoulder. “What’s it, uh… telling you? Wait. Does it tell you things?”

Alex took a few steps forward. His eyes slid shut. He reached out and—

“I feel something.” 

It was the first time he could feel something outside of  _ darkness  _ since landing on Calliope. The further away they got from the spaceport and palace, the less of a gaping wound it felt to Alex. He could still sense the darkness, but it wasn’t all encompassing as it was upon landing. It was as if his fingers merely brushed against it, rather than as though he was drowning in it.

_ Now— _

He could feel life.

_ All around him. _

Alex closed his eyes and reached out with the Force. After spending so long trapped in space with nothing around him,  _ this  _ — the calmness of the ocean behind him, and the harmony of all the life forces in the forest, and the ease of the wind through the trees — it was pure bliss.

Life was everywhere.

_ Life was everywhere and it was beautiful. _

He turned to Willie, who stood several paces away, watching him with a half-smile. “You’re happy.” He stepped closer. Alex could’ve sworn his gaze dipped to his lips for the briefest of moments before locking onto his eyes again. “You're smiling,” he said simply. “I love your smile.”

Alex turned back to the forest, ignoring the way his stomach flipped at Willie’s words.

“The Force,” Alex said simply. He cleared his throat and refocused. “I almost forgot what it felt like to be surrounded by so much life.  _ So much light.” _

_ But none are brighter than you,  _ Alex wanted to say.

_ There’s so much life in the galaxy, yet I’ve never met anyone quite like you,  _ he wanted to add.

He didn’t though. 

He tightened his jaw and pressed his lips together to prevent the words from slipping out.

“This planet… It’s not what I expected,” Alex mumbled. “Did you feel it? Back at the spaceport? The heaviness in the air?”

Willie came to stand beside him, joining him in looking out at the forest. He shrugged. “I guess. I donno. Maybe?”

“Something horrible happened at the spaceport,” he continued. His eyes latched onto the way the leaves of the trees moved in the wind. He studied the rustle of the underbrush as animals scurried along the forest floor. It kept him grounded — it gave him strength to keep going. “I think Luke died there.”

Speaking the words out loud felt like a dagger to the heart.

“The day the Temple on Coruscant fell, thousands of Jedi were wiped out across the galaxy,” Alex continued. “It was a coordinated attack by the clones. I can  _ still  _ feel the ripple of that months later. And — at the spaceport? I felt that same ripple, but  _ stronger.”  _ He blew out a long breath. “You asked if that darkness at the spaceport was from the red blade? And… it could be, but… I think it’s from something else. From the day the Jedi around the galaxy fell. The day the Republic fell. The day Luke died.”

Willie didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Knowing he was standing beside him was enough —  _ knowing he wasn’t alone was enough. _

Alex continued. “But this… All this life around me? The balance? Like, yeah, the spaceport is a pit of darkness — and that heaviness is  _ so  _ strong — but… Look at a forest.  _ Just a single forest.  _ Everything’s in equilibrium. The plants, the lives, the animals —  _ everything  _ from the moss that grows on the sides of trees, to the minerals in the ground, to the carnivores that walk through it all. It’s all in balance.  _ That’s  _ what the Jedi strive for.” He stepped forward, his hand coming up to rest against the bark of a tree. “It’s a good feeling. One that I want to bring with me everywhere. One that deserves to be felt across the galaxy. I know Master Palabee will help me make that happen.”

Alex stretched a hang in the direction of the trees and reached out with the Force, brushing against all the lives housed in the forest in front of him, connecting with all the lives. He let out a tiny laugh when he felt the prickle of something vaguely familiar — something buzzing with connection.

_ Oh. _

He glanced towards Willie. An idea formed.

“Willie,” Alex whispered, as to not disturb the peace found only feet in front of them. “I have a surprise for you.”

Willie’s eyes widened. He shifted closer to Alex, his gaze bouncing between the treeline and his eyes.

“Should I be scared?”

“It’s a good surprise.” Alex’s eyes slid closed in concentration. “Just gimme a… one second…”

Silence washed over them. The tide broke against the shore in the distance. The squawk of birds blended well with the buzz from the forest. The rumble of the speeder was easy to tune out as Alex honed in on one of the lives in front of him.

“No way,” Willie mumbled. “There’s absolutely no way—”

“Way.” 

Alex, finally having established the connection, dropped his hand to his side and let out a sigh. The grin that came next was as easy as breathing, especially as he watched Willie’s expression shift minutely. 

“Look at them!” Willie whispered. He turned to Alex, his jaw dropped and eyes wide.  _ “Dude.” _

The Muse-cat Alex had connected with pounced through the foliage and landed on the beach only a few feet in front of them. Willie stumbled a few steps backwards, taken by surprise, and Alex laughed.

“What’s— You— Huh?”

“The Force connects everything,” Alex explained. “One of the first lessons at the Jedi Temple — even before learning to use lightsabers, and perform mind tricks, and levitate objects — it was this. Connecting with the life around you. Understanding what it meant to be part of the balance — part of the harmony.”

The Muse-cat stalked towards them. The animal’s double tails wagged as it walked. The slick fur glinted in the sun. Alex crouched down to greet them partway with his hand extended. Before the Muse-cat could come close, Willie’s hand darted out and grasped Alex’s shoulder.

“I don’t know about this,” he said, his voice low and wobbly.

_ He was nervous.  _ Alex could hear it in his voice and feel it in his touch.

“It’s alright,” Alex told him. He reached towards the Muse-cat again and grinned as the creature brushed against his fingertips. He looked up at Willie, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost. “I promise you. It’s okay. They’re not going to hurt you.”

Willie’s laugh was forced and nervous. “Dude, I don’t know…” Without looking away from the Muse-cat, he reached for him again, his touch more frantic than before. “That one is looking at me! Do I look like prey? I think I look like prey.  _ It’s going to eat me. I’m too young to be eaten by a cat, Alex, I’m too young—” _

“They’re looking at you because they’re happy,” Alex corrected. He glanced at Willie, unable to hide his amusement. “They  _ like _ you.” Willie glanced at Alex helplessly. His panic was evident. “Dude, pet one. It’s not going to bite you.”

“You remember the woman that had, like, fifty cats that I told you about? Yeah. I know you’re lying. They bite.” Willie cast a long look at the Muse-cat now attempting to climb into Alex’s lap. 

“I can feel them,” Alex promised, his voice low and lips barely moving. “They’re not going to eat you. I promise.” Alex smiled down at the Muse-cat in his arms and rubbed them behind their ear. “Like I said, one of the first steps of training was to connect with the life around me, animals included. What I do… it’s all built from connection. I promise you, Willie, none of these cats are going to eat you.”

“Cats?” Willie asked. He glanced towards the forest. “As in  _ plural?” _

“This is just one of the, uh… herd? Are packs of cats called herds?”

Willie let out a choked sound. “That’s the least of my worries right now.  _ Alex.  _ What—  _ oh. Look at that one.” _

Emerging from the forest was a tiny grey Muse-cat. Alex watched as it made a beeline for Willie. He glanced at Alex, looking nervous.

“It won’t hurt you,” he promised him again. “Even if you don’t trust the cats, trust  _ me.  _ I’ll tell you if anything changes, but they’re happy right now.”

Willie glanced down at the little grey Muse-cat now pawing at his leg. He climbed to the ground beside Alex, his movements still hesitant, and helped the tiny cat into his lap. A moment passed before Willie found the courage to pat its head. When the animal in turn nuzzled against Willie’s palm, something in Alex’s heart melted. 

“Do you see them?” Willie whispered, completely enamoured. “They’re… they’re so  _ soft.” _

Yeah.

Soft.

Alex  _ felt  _ soft, with tenderness making his chest warm.

When the cat began to purr loudly, Willie made a tiny noise and turned to Alex, his eyes soft and lips parted. He looked awestruck.

“They’re happy,” Alex explained. 

As if to prove his point, the Muse-cat flopped over in Willie’s lap and nuzzled up to his stomach. It was impossible not to smile at that. 

It was just as impossible for Willie to hide his smile. His dimples made Alex’s mouth run dry. 

“They like you,” Alex added.

“I guess I kinda like them too.” Willie copied Alex’s actions and rubbed the grey one behind their ears. His smile was sweet. “Okay. Maybe they  _ won’t  _ eat me.”

_ It was cute,  _ watching Willie play with the Muse-cat.

Or, more accurately—

_ He was cute. _

There was something special about his expression — something that left Alex breathless. He wasn’t sure if it was his grin — so soft and playful. Maybe it was his eyes — so wide and filled with awe. Or maybe it was the way he kept glancing back at Alex every few seconds, as if to check he was still watching the interaction.

It was undeniable.

_ Willie was cute. _

Alex forced his gaze away. His stomach flipped and his heart rate soared for  _ whatever  _ reason, and he wasn’t going to give himself the chance to blush.

The next cat that emerged from the forest was a deep red — almost  _ rusty.  _ Maybe it was ridiculous, but the fur colour made Alex think of something else entirely. 

_ Red. _

_ Red, red, red, red— _

All Alex could think about was the red blade from his vision. One day, a red blade would end up on this planet, and the thought chilled him to the bone. Despite wanting to make sure Reggie and Julie were safe — somehow, he’d grown attached to the two of them, even though he had never actually met them — he didn’t want to be anywhere near this planet when the red blade came.

_ He didn’t want Willie to be near this planet when the red blade came. _

The fierce need to protect wasn’t a new emotion. 

What  _ was  _ new was how  _ strong  _ he felt about it when it came to Willie.

He didn’t know  _ how  _ Willie had become such a central part of his life. He didn’t know how Willie became the person he trusted most; the person he cared about the most; the person—

_ His person. _

He didn’t know how Willie became his person.

It didn’t matter  _ how.  _

It happened. 

_ It happened  _ and now, with their reunion with Master Palabee on the horizon, Alex knew it was going to be a problem.

* * *

The town was not helpful.

Alex wasn’t too sure what he was expecting. Maybe he naively hoped for someone to tell them the truth, the full truth. Maybe he hoped that somehow, the full story would come out and he’d finally get the answers to his burning questions.

But—

Nothing.

They got nothing.

The most information they got was from an elderly couple fishing along the coast. They told Alex of the rumour they heard that the Empire was planning on using this sector of space as a base, which wasn’t all that surprising considering the heavy Imperial presence back at the spaceport.

When Alex asked them about the royal family, all they got were quiet mumbles about the Molinas and—

That was it.

Nobody wanted to talk about the royals and the tension that it resulted in was giving Alex a headache.  _ He just wanted answers,  _ and yet—

He slumped onto a bench along the water, feeling utterly defeated. The heels of his hands dug into his eyes. He sucked in even breath after even breath.

Everything was slipping out of his control. 

_ Force,  _ it was never truly in his control to begin with, was it?

“I’m really doing well on this mission,” Alex commented dryly. He rubbed his face tiredly. “I’m so glad this hasn’t been a complete and utter failure. Oh wait.”

“Hey,” Willie said. He slid up beside him on the bench, his arm winding around his shoulders comfortingly. “Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault.”

“It is. It is because I should’ve had a better plan. I shouldn’t have just  _ rushed  _ here without stopping to  _ think.”  _ His throat burned from holding back tears. He was just so  _ frustrated.  _ “I don’t know what I thought would happen, but—”

“You didn’t know the Empire took over Calliope,” he reminded him.

“I would have if I stopped to think back on Bestine. I could’ve asked Flynn. I could’ve looked it up on the HoloNet. But  _ no.  _ I didn’t, and now we’re here and—  _ and I don’t know what to do next.”  _

He pulled his hands away from his face and glared out at the horizon. The sun was beginning to set, casting long shadows across the beach. As the light was sucked from the world around them, so was the light in his chest — the fire of hope.

“They could be anywhere,” Alex continued, “or nowhere. We could be too late.”

Willie was silent for a long moment. Alex didn’t blame him for not knowing what to say;  _ Alex  _ didn’t know what to say either.

“I guess I expected to…  _ feel  _ something. To be guided towards her — to Palabee. But this planet is so clouded that I doubt I’d be able to feel another Force sensitive without them being right in front of me. Their life forces are  _ so bright,  _ but when there’s so much darkness around…”

“So, it’s not going the way we hoped,” Willie stated. Alex bit his lip to keep it from trembling. It felt as though he was seconds away from falling apart. “This is just one town though, Alex. Calliope is a whole  _ planet.  _ There’s still hope.”

“Hope,” Alex echoed. The word felt like acid. “I don’t want  _ hope.  _ I want  _ answers.  _ I want a  _ plan.” _

Willie stood up from the bench only to crouch down again right in front of Alex. 

Their eyes locked.

“Then we plan. What we’ve done so far isn’t a failure, Alex — we’re on Calliope, we’ve got a speeder, we’ve already been through one town. These are  _ good  _ things. And now we go one step at a time until the job is done. Piece by piece.”

It was similar to the advice Willie gave him all those weeks ago, when they were still only strangers. Alex had been overwhelmed with the idea of the mission, and Willie told him something that stuck with him — something that Alex thought back to whenever things felt like too much.

“‘The Republic was built piece by piece, planet by planet, person by person,’” Alex quoted. Willie blinked owlishly up at him. “Your mom said that to you, and you said it to me. I remember.”

Willie let out a breathless laugh. “Yeah. She did. And it’s true. We do this piece by piece.”

“Piece by piece,” Alex echoed. “It’s just… discouraging. I feel like I’m stumbling around in the dark without a solid plan.”

“Then let’s find a light,” Willie suggested. 

_ (I already have.) _

“We both agree Palabee is alive because the Force brought you here,” Willie continued. “Everything else beyond that is an assumption, and we don’t have time for those right now. No offence. I  _ really  _ hate to say it, but we have to assume the worst for the royals, Lex. You said your mission depends on finding Luke’s teacher, right? Well… Reggie and Julie don’t have anything to do with that.”

Alex didn’t want to admit it.

_ He really didn’t. _

Not after growing to care about them so much. Not after watching them so happy to reunite. Not after watching them, terrified and alone, behind the red blade.

_ But Willie was right. _

Julie and Reggie weren’t his mission.

Finding a Jedi Master was.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I need to focus on Palabee.”

With a new perspective, Alex turned to look at the world around him. 

He glanced back in the direction they came — back towards the spaceport. It couldn’t be seen in the distance anymore, not even a speck of it, but Alex could still  _ feel  _ the darkness it housed through the Force. To the west, the beach seemed to stretch for an eternity more. The waters ran deep the further away from the town they got, shown by the dark blues and the heavy shadows under the waves. The forest turned to mountains in the distance, with peaks so tall that Alex was  _ sure  _ it would’ve towered over the spaceport.

He froze.

Mountains.

His thoughts raced ahead, trying to piece together a plan —  _ any plan.  _ Willie must’ve seen his body tense because when Alex looked back at him, he was watching him with concern.

“Everything okay?” Willie asked.

“The mountains.”

Willie turned in the direction Alex pointed in. “Uh. Yeah, dude. Those are some nice looking mountains.”

_ “No.  _ I  _ mean  _ —  _ the mountains.  _ That’s where we’re headed next.” As soon as he spoke the words out loud, he was even  _ more  _ convinced that this was the right move. “Luke and I went on a mission with Palabee once. It was meant to be a simple in and out, but things went wrong and we ended up waiting for extraction in the mountains. She told us to  _ always  _ take the high ground.  _ Always.”  _ He gestured to the mountains. “If Palabee is anywhere, it’s going to be there. She’ll be in the high ground.”

They were both silent for a long moment.

Alex turned back to Willie, already expecting the worst.

“Look, I know how it sounds. I know, but— I have a feeling, and it’s all we’ve got, so—”

He stood and held a hand out in Alex’s direction. “I’m following you, hotdog. Wherever you go.”

_ He wanted to tell him that he would follow him, too. _

_ He wanted to tell Willie that he would follow him wherever he went. _

He didn’t.

Alex simply took his hand.

He hoped that was enough.

* * *

They made it partway up the mountain by the time the sun had disappeared behind the horizon. By the time the double moons rose in the sky, they both agreed to call it for the night. 

Alex curled his arms around his torso tighter and blew out a long breath. 

It was cold.

Even with the fire crackling only feet away from him, he was cold.

“We should’ve packed more than just water,” Willie mumbled. He rolled onto his back and tugged the sleeves of his jumpsuit around his hands. “This sucks.”

Alex’s gaze was locked on the sky above them, studying the double moons. It was eerie, just how many times he had seen this exact image before. He secretly watched Willie out of the corner of his eye, noting how he kept shifting positions, never able to get comfortable.

It was cold, but Alex had trained for moments like this. More than once, he had been trapped in the field for longer than anticipated. Often, he slept alongside the clones and his Master, with nothing but the stars to keep them company.

“Do you want my jumpsuit?” Alex offered. The clothing he had on underneath weren’t the warmest pieces, but he’d be able to make do if Willie needed it. “I can—”

“No. No, it’s fine. I’ll just… find a large leaf or something.” Willie shifted again, rolling onto his side to face Alex. Alex mirrored his movements, turning his head in Willie’s direction. He looked miserable. “Do you remember when you were a kid? And you’d be over at a sleepover? And your friend would forget to give you a blanket before they fell asleep, so then you were left with the most random items to make do with? Once, I slept under the freaking mattress because I was so cold.”

Alex laughed softly and turned back to the night sky. He studied the stars. He thought of all the lives they contained.

“I never had sleepovers,” Alex said after a long moment. “I don’t remember my parents or friends outside of the Order. I was given to the Jedi as soon as I was old enough. I must’ve been a year old. Maybe less.”

Willie grew still. “That’s…  _ wow.” _

“It’s the way of the Jedi. No attachments, remember? If we were raised with our families, we would be attached to them.” Alex rolled onto his side. If he wanted to, he could bridge the gap between him and Willie right now and grab his hand, but— he didn’t. He tucked his fingers under his body to ebb the chill. “Sleepovers under mattresses don’t sound too fun though.”

“Well… sleepovers aren’t necessarily under mattresses. That only happened once. Another time, I used the pillowcase.  _ Yes,  _ only one pillow case to cover my whole body.” Willie laughed at the memory. Alex smiled in return. When the laughter died away, Willie looked at him thoughtfully. “I guess you could say we have sleepovers.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. Like… every night, dude. In the bunks. Consider it a several month-long sleepover.”

Alex’s throat closed up.  _ That didn’t feel right, but—  _ he couldn’t tell him that. It was the truth, wasn’t it? He was just a guest on the  _ Phantom?  _ He was just a guest in Willie’s life?

Which reminded him of his earlier thoughts — thoughts that he tried to ignore.

_ Everything was about to change. _

Alex could feel it. They were balancing on the edge of a knife, seconds away from plummeting over the other side. As soon as they found Palabee,  _ everything would change.  _ Not just for him — not just for the Jedi Order — but for them.

_ Both of them. _

Alex cleared his throat. He refused to glance in Willie’s direction; he didn’t want to see his expression shift at his words.

“Things are going to be different after this.”

The words were left to linger between them, weighing as heavily as the earlier humidity.

When Willie didn’t speak, Alex continued. “After we find the Jedi Master — after we find Palabee — things are going to change. With  _ us.” _

_ Us. _

When had they become an ‘us’?

“Change?” Willie echoed, his voice nearly a whisper. “Change how?”

“It won’t just be us on the  _ Phantom  _ anymore,” Alex pointed out. “It… The last few months have been nice.  _ Really nice.  _ It’s been the first time in my life where it was just…  _ me.  _ Well, me and you, but— All I mean is that we were in a bubble. It was just  _ us.  _ When we leave Calliope, it won’t just be  _ us  _ anymore. It’ll be you, me, and a Jedi Master.”

Alex thought of the life they built over the last eight weeks.

_ Was it wrong to mourn for it? _

“There will be the three of us in the  _ Phantom.  _ Three of us in the bunks. And… that isn’t even the biggest change.” Alex forced out a humorless laugh even though it was the absolute last thing he wanted to be doing. “The Jedi Master and I… we’re going to be doing our mission, and— I just— I want you to be ready for the change that’s coming.”

_ Alex didn’t know if he was ready for this change, never mind Willie. _

Their world they created was over. The sliver of time they stole between Coruscant and Calliope was over. All their little moments — all the hugs they shared, and all the hot chocolates they drank, and all the nights they fell asleep telling each other stories — it was over.

They were over.

(Although, had they ever truly begun?)

The silence that followed Alex’s speech was suffocating. He could hardly breathe. The tension between them made his stomach twist. It took every ounce of strength he had not to turn and look at him — not to turn and try to make things better.

_ What he said was the truth,  _ and they both needed to get used to it.

“Okay.” It was a simple word —  _ so simple  _ — and yet it seemed to carve out a little piece of Alex’s heart. It broke his strength. Their eyes met. It was hard to get a read on Willie’s expression. “Things will change.”

_ Part of Alex wished it wouldn’t. _

It might’ve been the most selfish  _ want  _ he’d ever had in his life. Part of Alex wanted to hit a button and  _ pause the galaxy,  _ just to live in the bubble on the  _ Phantom  _ a little bit longer.

_ Just to live with Willie — and only Willie — for a little bit longer. _

But he couldn’t.  _ They  _ couldn’t. Alex had a mission, and he was fully dedicated to completing this mission.

_ It didn’t stop him from feeling the engulfing sadness at the thought of losing this life though — this life he built with Willie. _

It was hard to keep speaking. He desperately tried to pretend he wasn’t falling to pieces because  _ he couldn’t be.  _

He couldn’t be.

“I don’t know what life will look like once we get back to the  _ Phantom,  _ but it’ll be different,” Alex said. “Palabee and I will be planning and working towards re-establishing the Jedi Order. And… I’ve been too lax with the lessons the Jedi Masters taught me. I’ve been—”

_ I’ve been getting too attached. _

_ I’ve been too fond. _

_ I’ve been too affectionate. _

He didn’t say any of this.

“It’ll just be different once a Master is around,” Alex said instead. “Less, uh… holding hands at night and ‘story times with Willie.’”

The beat of silence that followed pressed against Alex’s chest.

Finally, Willie nodded in understanding.

“Well…” he said slowly. “We can, uh… We can still drink hot chocolate together. We can still sleep across from each other in the bunks. Right?” Alex nodded. He didn’t mention how much he was going to miss Willie’s hand in his. He didn’t tell him how much he was going to miss his passionate stories. “You’ll be… training a lot more then?”

“Probably.”

“Okay. Well.” Willie smiled weakly. “We’ll still be together on the ship. It’ll just be different with someone else there.”

Alex nodded.

His words didn’t ease anything inside of him. There was still a heaviness to his soul — a grief that paired well with losing something.

_ What was he losing, exactly? Willie? _

_ (How could he lose something that was never really his?) _

“Alex? Can I tell you something?”

Willie said it with so much hesitation that it made Alex’s heart fall to his stomach.

“Of course.”

Willie lifted his upper body onto his elbows. Their eyes were drawn together despite Alex wanting to keep his gaze locked on the sky and away from him. It was impossible not to stare at him though, not when his expression was so intense and his eyes so bright.

“I don’t know how much time we’ll get to talk once we find this Jedi Master. I don’t know if we’ll get much time alone at all after this, and I just wanted to tell you that… I’ll always be there for you. Even if you’re busy training and being a knight in shining armour for the rest of the galaxy, just… just know that you’re mine. You’re my knight in shining armour, Lex.”

Alex’s breath caught in his throat.

His whole body came to life with warmth and tenderness for this  _ wonderful, caring, soul-splitting  _ being in front of him.

Before Alex could compose himself enough to form words —  _ any words  _ — Willie was speaking again.

“And I just… I want you to know something. Ignoring your emotions? Bottling them up? Doing your Jedi thing and just… shoving them away? It’s not helping you. I… I care about you, Alex.  _ I always will.  _ That’s exactly why I’m telling you this. You need to process them. It might suck and it might be painful, and it might be scary, and it might be daunting, but it’s better than keeping them locked away and always having them as demons.”

Alex wasn’t afraid to admit that he didn’t know how to do that.

He told Willie as much. “Jedi ignored emotions. I told you about the dark side before and how attachments made you susceptible to it. It’s the same thing with fear and with hatred — those lead down dark paths. The Jedi Order — they were against those emotions. And I just— I don’t know how to… I don’t know how to do it.”

Willie reached for him. Their hands met in the dirt halfway between their bodies.

“I’m not going to pretend to know how to deal with emotions,” Willie said. “I don’t. They’re complicated and messy. I don’t know if there is a right way to deal with them, but… I talk. That’s how I deal with everything. I talk through it. Talking is healing, especially when it’s with someone you trust. If you’re willing —  _ and only if you want to  _ — then you can talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling. Tell me what you’re thinking. I’m willing to share your burdens. I— I want to share your burdens.”

Coming face to face with his emotions, even the bad ones — even the ones he was told to run from? Giving them life by speaking them into the universe? It was daunting.

_ No.  _

It was  _ terrifying.  _

But being with Willie made Alex feel like anything was possible. Seeing his smile, and feeling his warmth, and hearing his voice — it gave him strength.

If there was anyone in the galaxy that he was willing to share his burdens with, it was Willie.

And he wanted to do this. He wanted to learn how to deal with his emotions better than the Jedi taught him. It was necessary in the changing galaxy — with all the Force visions he had been getting, and the fear housed in all the beings, and all the darkness spread across planets.

_ He needed to do this. _

“Okay,” Alex agreed. “I’ll try.”

“It doesn’t have to be me,” Willie added. “Like… the talking stuff. If you’re not comfortable —  _ totally fine.  _ I get it. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m around and—”

“It’s you, Willie.” His fingers tightened around Willie’s. “You’re the only person I trust like this.”

“Okay,” he breathed. “I— thank you. I trust you too, Alex.” Willie’s grip tightened back.  _ “Alexander.” _

Alex’s eyes slid closed. He knew he should’ve been used to hearing his full first name by now, but coming from Willie? It hit him in the chest.

“Even with this Jedi Master around, we can make this talking thing work,” Willie continued. “Just… signal me and I’ll find a way to make sure we get a few moments alone.”

Alex chuckled. “Signal you?”

“Yeah, y’know. Mention our beloved Muse-cat Meilo or something. I’ll catch the hint.” Willie settled back onto his spot on the ground, his gaze never leaving Alex’s. His nose crunched as he lifted their joined hands. “Your fingers are like ice, by the way. It sorta reminds me of when we first met.”

Alex didn’t know where the confidence came, but suddenly, he was scooting across the ground to lay right next to Willie. His heart was pounding and he was ready to use the cold temperatures explain away his abrupt actions, but—

“Is this okay?”

Their hands separated briefly for Willie to turn on his stomach. He retook his hand as he resettled on the ground, his arm now draped across Alex’s torso.

“It’s more than okay,” Willie responded. He smiled up at him. For a long moment, neither of them said anything. “You know… change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. This Jedi Master? The change that comes from her joining the  _ Phantom  _ isn’t going to be bad. Just like… I don’t know. Other things.” He cleared his throat. His eyes darted away nervously for a brief moment. “Us, for example.”

_ Us. _

Again with that word.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed slowly. His gaze found its way back to the night sky. He eased into Willie’s side. “Yeah, us meeting and becoming friends was a good change.”

Willie’s breath came out of him in a silent laugh. Alex felt it across his neck. Goosebumps arose across his arms.

“No,” he said. “No, I meant— I mean—” He paused. “I mean… Alex… I—  _ Ugh.”  _ Alex couldn’t begin to figure out what he was trying to say. Willie’s head rolled forward. His forehead rested against Alex’s bicep. “Yeah. Yeah, us becoming friends was a good change.”

Alex doubted that was what Willie meant to say, but he didn’t push him.

They lay there, under the double moons of Calliope, wrapped up together. Despite the chaos of the planet and the fallout of their plans, being in this moment with Willie was nice.

_ It was really nice. _

“Goodnight,” Willie said, breaking the crisp silence.

“Goodnight.”

For the second time in a row, Alex fell asleep in Willie’s arms. 

* * *

Alex’s ears kept popping as they gained altitude.

He had barely slept the night before. It would’ve been easy to blame it on the cold — it would’ve even been easy to blame it on the fact that this planet was filled with darkness — but  _ he would be lying. _

He couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking of the guy in his arms.

Willie fell asleep quickly, leaving Alex to his thoughts — which he had many of. (Maybe too many.) He kept repeating the conversation over, and over, and over, and—

“Close your eyes!” Willie encouraged him. He shouted with his mouth close to Alex’s ear to be heard over the roar of the speeder. “You’re tired!”

“I’m not!”

“You are. You’re practically snoring on my shoulder, dude!” He laughed. “At the rate we’re climbing, we’ll be at the top in an hour or two.  _ Sleep.  _ I won’t let you fall, remember?”

Alex really didn’t have the strength to fight.

He let his eyes slide closed and he buried his face into the back of Willie’s shoulder. The higher they climbed, the colder it got — something they discovered last night — but it was almost calming now. The sweet chill of the air paired with the hum of the speeder and the familiarity of Willie made it nearly impossible not to fall asleep to.

It was easy to slip into the state between reality and sleep. He wasn’t quite fully under, but just enough that everything felt like a distant dream.

_ The way the tree branches slapped against the side of his helmet. _

_ The way Willie weaved through the dense forest expertly. _

_ The way there was so much life around them that he couldn't pick out Willie’s bright life force amongst it all. _

_ The way he felt so at ease with Willie by his side. _

_ The way he knew they’d be able to face whatever came next, as long as they were together. _

_ The way— _

Alex’s instincts screamed.

He bolted upright. His heart pounded. A prickle ran down his spine.

“Something’s not right. Something’s—”  _ There.  _ He sensed it again. The Force screamed out, and— “Get down!”

Alex flew into action. He lunged in front of Willie, his lightsaber flying into his hands, and—

His magenta blade burst to life just in time to deflect a blaster bolt.

Willie was saying something, but he couldn’t hear him over the rush of blood through his ears. He couldn’t begin to process any of his words — his mind was zeroed in on the world around them — his body was a coiled spring, ready to snap.

Adrenaline made his hands shake. His eyes darted around the forest, searching for the next shot, searching for—

_ There. _

Another shot was fired at them mere feet away. Alex sensed it mere moments before it would’ve struck the engine of their bike. He fumbled with his lightsaber, not having the best mobility on the speeder and holding onto Willie. He deflected it at the same moment Willie let out a yelp.

_ Another shot. _

No time for plans. No time to think.

Just reactions.

_ Only reactions. _

Alex slid off the back of the speeder. He hit the sloped ground of the forest roughly. He absorbed the impact by rolling from his feet to his shoulder. A jolt went through his arm, knocking the breath from his lungs. The world spun around him as he rolled, making him see double, and—

The world hadn’t stopped spinning around him before another shot came.

_ And another— _

_ And another— _

_ And— _

Alex should’ve been focused on where the shots were coming from, but  _ he wasn’t.  _ All he could think about was the speeder bike as he slid down the mountainside. The hum of it was inaudible. Alex didn’t have to risk a glance in the direction it took off in; he already knew Willie was long gone.

_ Good. _

As long as he was gone, he was safe.

When the sixth shot came flying in his direction, Alex was ready. His foot found purchase on a cluster of rocks. His left hand grasped a low-hanging branch. He lifted his lightsaber and—

He deflected the blaster bolt upwards, sending sparks flying across his vision. 

Another shot followed quickly after — this one coming from the opposite direction as the first few.

His mind raced as he took in the information. 

Two assailants — at the very least — both with blasters. Decent shots. In formation around them.

His chest heaved. 

His heart pounded. 

His eyes bounced from left to right, desperate to find something out of place.

When no shots followed, he got nervous. The whole point of jumping off the speeder was to keep them from Willie, but—

“Come on!” Alex shouted. He waved his lightsaber in front of him, taunting their attackers.  _ “Come on!  _ I’m right here!”

The forest was silent.

Too silent.

Another chill ran down his spine, giving him a split second of a warning, and—

Alex tried to dodge, but it was too late. Something horribly  _ wet  _ and  _ sticky  _ — a sap of some kind — splattered across his helmet, blocking out the visor. He wiped his sleeve across the glass, but that only smeared it further, turning the world into a cloudy blur.

It was his fatal mistake.

A foot connected with Alex’s chest. The force behind the kick sent him tumbling backwards and—

_ He was rolling down the mountainside again —  _ this time uncontrollably. 

He’d been plunged into a pool of panic. He couldn’t  _ see.  _ He couldn’t find footing. He couldn’t tell right-side up from down. He couldn’t—

_ Alex didn’t need to have clear vision to hear what came next. _

A crack echoed through the forest, followed by the distinct humming of—

A lightsaber.

Another lightsaber.

_ The red blade must’ve found them. _

Alex skidded to a stop on the forest floor, finally having stopped his momentum by reaching out with the Force. He attempted to clear his visor by wiping it across his sleeve, but  _ he didn’t have enough time. _

Alex lifted his lightsaber  _ just  _ in time to counter a strike.

The force behind the blow sent Alex rolling backwards again. He caught himself before he was sent into an uncontrolled spiral. His hands fumbled for the clasp under his chin to release his helmet, but—

Another strike came — one he anticipated only milliseconds before it hit. The heat from the opposite blade —  _ the red blade —  _ could be felt along his arms. The assailant was aggressive enough to be a darksider.  _ The attacks just kept coming.  _ Alex took a step forwards, shoved the opposing lightsaber away, and—

He ducked and rolled out of the way of the next swing. He stumbled back a few steps, desperate to put space between him to clear his visor. Alex swiped at it again, this time clearing a thin stripe of sap from the glass. He turned, his lightsaber already lifted, and—

He hesitated.

_ The lightsaber wasn’t red. _

_ It was blue. _

Alex’s heart was pounding so loud that he barely heard his own voice call out. “Wait! Wait!”

_ They didn’t wait. _

Alex lunged out of the way of the strike. The tree directly behind him cracked as the blade made contact. He stumbled backwards, his free hand lifted instead of his lightsaber, and tried again.

“Stop!” Alex ordered. “Master Palabee!”

Master Palabee’s lightsaber was lifted above her head, already ready to strike him, but—

“Stop! Please! It’s me!”

Alex fumbled for the clasp of his helmet again, his fingers shaking from adrenaline. Finally —  _ freaking finally —  _ he ripped the helmet from his head and—

The words died on his tongue as the world came into focus for the first time.

Standing in front of him was not Master Palabee.

Alex froze.

_ “Luke?” _

Sure enough,  _ there he was. _

Luke Patterson.

Padawan to Master Palabee.

Alex’s closest friend.

_ Alive. _

He was alive.

Luke was alive!

They stared at each other for a long moment, their blades buzzing with life between them. They were both silent — the only sound coming from their lightsabers and their heaving chests.

Luke’s face was slack with shock. He looked different than Alex expected, but  _ he still looked like Luke.  _ His hair was longer now, with the ends curling around his ears and hanging in his face. He wore a deep blue poncho instead of the Jedi robes he always used to see him in — then again, Alex was also not wearing the familiar Jedi robes.

Finally —  _ finally  _ — Luke lowered his blade by inches.

No, not his blade.  _ His Master’s blade. _

“Alexander?”

Before he could respond, a different voice rang out — this one just as familiar as Luke’s.

“Drop your weapon! Drop them!”

Alex’s eyes snapped away from Luke and up the mountain. There, standing in the spot the first blaster bolt was fired at, was—

“Julie,” Alex breathed.

He recognized her as easily as he recognized Luke. 

Alex immediately noticed her missing crown and ballgown. Now, she wore a blue poncho to match Luke’s. Julie stood at the top of the mountain, her face illuminated blue from the lightsaber in her own hands. 

_ Luke’s lightsaber.  _

Alex’s jaw dropped. He stumbled over his words. “But… you’re not supposed to be a Jedi.”

Julie coolly arched an eyebrow. “I’m not one. Now, drop your weapon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY. Welcome to the second arc of the fic! AH. I’ve been SO EXCITED to get here!!
> 
> HERES MORE LOVELY ART! If I missed yours, let me know! (Sometimes, it gets lost in my notifications, so please feel free to send it to me again!) I ADORE all of the art that's been inspired by this fic. Thank you so, so much! 
>   * Here is some space princess Julie by castles-have-disappeared on Tumblr! You can see it [here](https://castles-have-disappeared.tumblr.com/post/641023103982518272/aaa-i-decided-to-do-some-fanart-for)!
>   * Context for the next three pieces; the theory of Sith!Luke was a popular one! This is a stunning moodboard for this theory by Tee (reggieshamster on Tumblr). You can see it [here](https://reggieshamster.tumblr.com/post/641062500854530048/dark-sideluke-inspired-by-all-that-remains-aka)!
>   * Sith!Luke by prettyghostboys on [Tumblr](https://prettyghostboys.tumblr.com/post/641052424460812288/bad-pic-but-i-woke-up-this-morning-not-too-long)!
>   * AND even more Sith!Luke by phanhowell on [Tumblr](https://phanhowell.tumblr.com/post/641347419319173120/head-empty-no-thoughts-except-sith-luke-if-you)!
> 

> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Paw  
> Come find me on Tumblr [here!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [This is the Clock Upon the Wall (This is the Story of Us All)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479242) by [americanhoney913](https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanhoney913/pseuds/americanhoney913)




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